Author's Note: Thank you to DustieRhoades,Lisbeth Q, and tj2413 for the follow, and DustieRhoades for the favorite! I know this story is going super off-course from what was in game, but I wish there had been some way for these two to talk things out, or at least get some time together. So, enjoy my mini-AU!

Catherine knew Kaidan was going to be on edge the whole time he was on the Normandy. He had every reason to be, and frankly she was still on edge at times and she'd already been here for some time. The second they exited the shuttle, she turned to him, hoping they could talk. Instead, she noticed just how tired, and worn out he was. She put her hand on his shoulder, offering him a smile and a motion to follow her into the elevator. Miranda was waiting just inside of it, though.

"Shepard, the Illusive Man-" she cut off, clearly surprised at Kaidan's presence. "Who is this?"

"None of your business, Miranda. Tell the Illusive Man I'll contact him as soon as I'm able. I have a few things I need to take care of that are more important." she said sharply. Miranda eyed over Kaidan once more before giving a silent nod, pushing the buttons for the crew level and the cabin.

"I'd also like to talk to you when you have the time. It's a personal matter."

"I'll do my best to remember." she smiled, knowing that it took a large amount of trust for Miranda to divulge any personal information. When the doors open she stepped out without another word, leaving the two alone.

"Who was that?" Kaidan muttered.

"Miranda Lawson. She's my second in command."she paused, figuring it wouldn't hurt to talk more. "I didn't really like her too much at first, but... I've enjoyed getting to know her. She's got an interesting past, and I'd share, but I don't think she'd appreciate that very much."

"Good to see you still make an effort to get to know everyone past their jobs." he said with a smile and the smallest of a laugh.

"I haven't changed completely." she hummed, leading him out of the elevator into a small... well it was a room just outside the cabin. Which was much bigger than he'd been expecting it to be. "Go ahead and take your armor off. There's also a shower in there if you want to use it." she said. "I can go find some fresh clothes for you." Catherine was already moving to walk back out when he gently grabbed her forearm, stopping her.

"Thank you." he said quietly, giving her the smallest of smiles. He knew she didn't have to do any of this, but he also knew she was doing it because that's the kind of person she was. It was getting harder to believe that she was a clone, with every second he saw. No clone would be able to know how she'd looked at him with those beautiful green eyes.

"Take your time." she whispered, gently sliding from his grip as she left him alone in the massive cabin. He took a moment to look around, before sighing and heading into the bathroom, shedding his armor that was scuffed, and apparently also cracked. He scowled, knowing he'd have to buy new armor once he was back on the Citadel. When he looked at the shower, he smiled. It was littered in her bottles, and the room itself smelled of her. A light, fruity smell. He couldn't place his finger on it, but it was comforting.

He'd nearly forgotten what it felt like to have a shower, and to be able to take his time. He stood under the spray for a good fifteen minutes before he heard a knock.

"Kaidan? Is it alright if I come in?"

"Sure." Strangely enough, he didn't feel weird about her walking in while he was taking a shower. She came in holding some folded up clothes, a fresh towel, and then she stopped.

Something washed over him just as her eyes did, and it made him feel warm. She cleared her throat and looked away with a blush rising to her face before her eyes moved too far down, and he almost laughed.

"Got some clothes for you. And I figured you might not want to walk around smelling like me, so I told Joker he could share his soap for a few days." she stepped closer and handed the bottle over. Kaidan took it and laughed.

"Joker's here too?"

"Yeah..." she said with a sad smile. "Alliance wouldn't let him fly, so... He left and found someone who would let him."

"That's... Unfortunate." he nodded, looking down at the bottle. "I'll have to talk to him after I've rested a bit."

"Yeah." she swallowed thickly, and then took a few steps back. "Well, I'll be right out here at my desk if you need anything." She happened to glance over him once more and he could have sworn the color of her face was nearly as bright as her hair. He waited until the door shut again to let out a small chuckle. Good to know some things really hadn't changed. Like the way he could affect her. Though, had their roles been reversed, he was sure he wouldn't have been any different.

The shirt he'd thrown on were a little loose around his shoulders, but rather snug everywhere else. Kaidan was just glad there wasn't a Cerberus logo, or colors, anywhere on the whole of his current outfit.

"Jacob said he never really liked that shirt anyway." Catherine chuckled as she pulled her shirt off near the closet, without warning. Kaidan almost blushed, but he figured he could get some payback now and get a good look at her.

It came as a shock to him that he so easily fell back to someone who cared for her, instead of someone he should be angry with for her betrayal. Then again, she was offering him a ride home. A comfortable one, at that. But... No. She'd turned her back on him, she made that clear when she showed up with Garrus, of all people. He didn't really think the two were that close. But maybe he was wrong. Maybe Garrus happened to be in the right place at the right time. At least she had a few friendly faces.

"Catherine, can we... talk?" he asked, his own voice sounding foreign and off to him. She paused as she pulled a tank top over her head, and nodded.

"Yeah. Just give me a minute to brush my teeth, and we can talk." she smiled, heading towards the bathroom.

Kaidan sighed quietly, running a hand through his still damp hair. They had a lot to discuss. He wasn't even sure where to begin. From the beginning? No, that might be too traumatic for her. But... Where else was there to start from? When had she run into Garrus? That seemed like an odd question. How did she run into Joker? Why was Miranda her XO? Questions swarmed him, and threatened him with a headache until he felt the couch shift beside him. Kaidan glanced up from the coffee table, and looked at her, seeing that red glint in her eyes. He frowned.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly.

"Your eyes are... red?"

"Oh... Yeah." she smiled sheepishly. "I'm pretty much half robot." she laughed lightly, though she looked uncomfortable. And Kaidan could feel the horror, and regret for her situation wash over his face. "I'm not bothered by it. It's just been something to get used to, you know?" she looked up, and could apparently see he wanted to ask why this was the case. "Let me just give you a brief summary of what happened after... Well after I sent Joker off."

"You don't have to-"

"I don't ever want to say these things, but you above anyone else should know." her eyes momentarily scanned his, and he was able to see the green again. "Kaidan, after I sent Joker's pod away, I was... floating through space. I thought I was fine until I started feel a chill wash over me. And not just the chill of space like you get on Arcturus, but it felt like someone was pouring dry ice into my suit. It hurt." she sighed. That was just the beginning of her story, and as she went on, explaining in very simple terms what her body had gone through. "Miranda can fill you in, if you have questions. She was the project lead." Catherine briefly stated, before continuing on.

Half her limbs, organs, tissue, muscle... Useless. She had to be rebuilt from samples. He was amazed that she had been in one piece at all when they found her, but to be resurrected from the dead? Cerberus didn't have his approval overall, but if they could do things like this... Maybe it wasn't all bad. Kaidan could only compare it to something he'd once said, about aliens. In the beginning, during the First Contact War, and even a few years after it, aliens were seen as big, bad, and scary. Though there were a few, like the asari, who showed that they weren't all bad. Cerberus had a few spots of good light, though unfortunately most of it was tainted, and needed to be destroyed as soon as possible.

"- after Freedom's Progress, well... I knew I had to do something." she shrugged. "So I went to the Citadel, called up Hackett. He, uh... didn't really want to trust me, since I came in on a Cerberus ship. He said he wanted to make sure that I wasn't just a joke, or trying to betray him. It hurt a lot." her voice grew quieter with each word. For a minute, there was silence.

Kaidan's knuckles where white, trying to hold back from throwing his arms around her. She'd been through so much, yet not once did she cry. She'd come close several times, but she'd held firm.

"After Hackett basically told me I couldn't come back, I decided to go to the Council. All they did was give me my status back, and tell me to more or less keep all the ugly shit out of the neighborhood." she scoffed, leaning forward and rubbing her hands on her face. "I tried going through the proper channels, really. I just... No one else is doing anything but Cerberus."

"I can see why you made your decision now." he nodded, "You don't know how happy it makes me that they weren't your first choice. Or your second." Kaidan finally reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up with a smile. "You tried to do what you could with people you trusted. And I can forgive you, if you can promise me you'll come back to the Alliance when you've kicked the Collector's collective asses."

"Oh god, did you really just say that?" she groaned, grinning from ear to ear. He laughed and nodded.

"I thought you might like that."

"You're awful." she shook her head, laughing even more. God, how he'd missed that sound. He'd missed all of her, really, but of everything, her laughing and smiling was what he'd missed the most. "But, yeah... I'll go back when I'm done with the Collectors. You just make sure to get them as ready as they can be for the Reapers when they come."

"I'll do what I can." he nodded, the somber mood returning quickly.

They both sat in silence for some time, and as he leaned back, he was a bit surprised to find Catherine moving to lean against him. He wasn't sure what there was between them.

"So you've told me what you've been up to... I think maybe it's my turn to do the same."

"Kaidan, it's late-"

"Not even one little story of adventure?" he laughed. She sighed.

"Fine. One story. Then we should both really get some sleep."

He grinned, and started telling her about one of his more memorable missions - the one that had earned him the rank of Commander. As he got to talking, he saw her eyes slowly begin to drift shut. After he was done with that story, he told another, surprised when she didn't object, until soon enough he heard a soft sigh come from her. He finished off his story, just to be safe, and then turned slightly. Should he put her in the bed, and risk waking her? Should he let her sleep on him on the couch? It wasn't exactly comfortable. But where would he be sleeping? He decided putting her into bed would be for the best, right now.

She was small, and light in his arms. Clearly, she'd been forgetting to eat. He'd have to make sure someone kept an eye on her after he left. He pushed the blanket back from the bed, and laid her down gently, watching as she cracked her eyes with a sleepy smile.

"You gonna go to sleep to?" she asked quietly.

"I'm uh... not really sure where to go." he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. She giggled and reached out for his other hand with both of hers.

"You can stay with me. Easier that way."

"You're sure?"

"Mhm." she nodded her head, and scooted closer to the edge, as if he needed the entire rest of the bed.

Kaidan walked around to the other side, and pulled the blanket back, turning down the light closest to him as he sat down. The bed was incredibly soft, and he could already feel the tension leaving his body as he shifted to lay down. He laid on his side, facing Catherine's backside as she easily fell back asleep. He wanted to reach out and touch her - hold her. Kaidan wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. Then again, considering where he was, he decided it didn't matter, and he carefully scooted himself closer to her, putting one arm hesitantly around her. If he woke up with a bloody nose, or a broken bone tomorrow, he'd know why. But he hoped Catherine wouldn't be mad. He missed her, that's all. She was finally back, and he could grasp why she'd done the things she'd done. He wasn't happy with it, by any means, but at least she was being reasonable, and watching her back.

And soon, he was asleep. For the first time in a very long time, he slept peacefully through the night, without dreams or nightmares. It passed quickly, and when he woke up, his back felt a bit sore, like he'd been thrown to the ground one too many times. But it also felt nice - though that could have been because of the limbs tangled in his own, and the warmth radiating from them.

He opened his eyes, momentarily forgetting that yes, he was in the same bed with Catherine. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he hesitantly reached up to stroke a hand over her hair, afraid that he had started dreaming and that this was a cruel twist. He was afraid he would wake up back on Horizon, and Catherine would still be dead. She would remain dead. As easy as that was to accept, he didn't want that fate. He would rather have her rebuilt by Cerberus - alive again - than to have to relearn how to cope with the loss he'd felt. As unnatural as it was, it was better than the alternative.

Her hair was still soft, and he nearly whimpered as he clutched her to himself. Though he was careful not to move her so much that she might wake. The longer she was asleep, the longer they could stay here. He closed his eyes and let himself cry, silent as his body shook with each sob. Though he felt her move and he loosened his hold, holding his breath as he watched her.

She brought her palm up to her eye, rubbing the sleep out before she paused, and snapped her head up, looking at him for a moment with a haunted expression before he saw the smile slowly ease itself onto her face. Her eyes began to water, and Kaidan pulled her against him without a thought, not wanting her to cry for any reason. Her arms clutched to him, and Kaidan felt the heaving in her chest as she tried to calm herself before she'd even started crying.

"I thought I'd been dreaming about yesterday." she said softly when she pulled her face from his chest.

"Me too." he said, laughing once, and then bringing his hand up to cup her cheek. He looked her in her eyes for a moment before he decided to lean in closer, his nose brushing against hers. He could feel her take in a small breath, tensing slightly. He was too close to be able to look at her face and try to figure out what was going through her mind. Though, she didn't push him away, which was a good sign.

"Kaidan-" she whispered to him, her arms growing tighter around him as she tried pulling him closer. He smiled, and pressed his lips against hers.

A flood of memories came back to him. Their outing on the Citadel, the time they'd spent in her old cabin, laying on the bed and just talking, the night before Ilos, all the nights and days on shore leave... The morning of the attack. He pulled back from their soft kiss.

"God, I've missed you." he barely choked out before both went in for another kiss, charged with emotions and things that had gone unspoken for so long. She let out the softest of moans from the back of her throat, pulling herself over him legs and all. He had forgotten just how nice she tasted, and how easily he could give in to her. Even if he didn't agree with her means of achieving this goal, he understood where she was coming from, and why she had to do this a certain way. And she was still Catherine, regardless of what he'd heard about her being rebuilt.

"I really wish you could help me out here... I can't tell you how much more at ease I would be." she said quietly as she sat back a bit, running her hand over his chest.

"You know that would be a terrible idea. Even if I could get clearance for leave, I don't think this would be a great fit for me."

"No, it wouldn't." she smiled and glanced up. "You like your rules, and knowing your place in everything."

"I can still help you, though. No one can get me in trouble for just talking with you, or..."

"Or..?"

"Well I don't want to assume anything-"

"Oh." she blushed with a grin and glanced over at her fish tank for a moment.

"I'm never going to be able to stop caring about you, I know that much. I'm just not sure the current situation would be great for... trying to figure things out between us."

"Then can we just enjoy being with each other right now, and promise to figure it out later?" she asked, her voice very timid, and everything but the voice of authority he'd grown used to long ago. Her gaze was piercing though. He let out a small laugh, and looked around for a moment, before he could feel his own gaze growing intense as he looked over her, aware of the small differences he could see just on her face. A few less freckles, yet her eyes were clearer. No more scar on her eyebrow, but her lips were a little fuller.

"I think I could deal with that." he said, feeling her shift closer to him before he could register what was going on. Not that he cared, right now, though.