Philadelphia and The Arena always had a special feel to it when it came to Ring of Honor. The city was the birthplace of the promotion yes, but it was also the city that always had open arms for the indy wrestling business.

The feeling of tonight though was something else, at least backstage.

Brenna had thought the previous show was electric, but tonight's felt heavier than that.

Today was Adam's last with Ring of Honor. His last TV taping, his last time in an ROH ring for who knew how long, maybe forever. His last night as a contracted wrestler for any company. That was only temporary, she knew, but it was still something. The PPV and leaving Bullet Club had been one thing, but Adam was walking away from a sure thing in his career entirely tonight.

While Adam was in talks with places, talks could always go wrong, and that could change his projected career path. But after tonight, he was a free agent, and he seemed excited about that actually. Having some time to truly do as he pleased, it was something he hadn't had in years. There was an endpoint in sight, but it wasn't set in stone. So for now, it was a chance to rest, recharge, rediscover his passion. Spend time with her, which she selfishly was going to demand the most of.

"So, what's on your agenda for the night?" Nick inquired, bringing Brenna's attention back to the table of her friends.

"Dark match for the second taping, then announcing the last two shows," she answered before picking up her drink and taking a long gulp of water. "You guys are all coming to the house after right?"

Both Bucks nodded, as Adam sat back down at the table, having been off talking to someone in production.

It had been Adam's idea to have a party at his house after the show. He had said he had two reasons for it: one, an opportunity to have everyone together one last time, and two, a way to put a positive spin on his last night so it wasn't so bogged down in emotion.

For Brenna, it had only brought her stress. She was a planner, and she'd been running around crazy on their day off yesterday to get everything she felt they'd need for the occasion. Food, drinks, flatware, ice…. Adam deserved the best kind of sendoff, and she was going to do all she could to make it happen.

There was a good chance some of his family members were at his place right this moment, setting up, and putting up some decorations she'd gotten for the occasion. Adam had no idea about this, and she was hoping his brother had kept it that way. He was the most likely candidate to slip up.

"Try not to destroy my house tonight," Adam requested of his friends as he joined the conversation. The Bucks barely reacted, whereas Marty laughed outright. Adam raised his eyebrows at this.

"I guess I'll be in charge of good ol' Party Boy here," Brenna decided, nodding in Marty's direction.

"I would be honored," he replied, causing her to laugh.

Tonight was going to be a lot of things, a lot to work through, but as long as Brenna had the people at this table with her, and many others that were wandering around, everything would be fine.

Adam found himself standing in the gorilla area of the arena, his eyes focused on the monitor on the table. The Women of Honor match on the second show taping of the night wasn't going to be televised, but it was happening in the arena.

And his girlfriend, for all her underrated talent and lack of mainstream exposure, was a big part of this match.

It was a tag affair, with Brenna taking on the tough baby-faced role, a role he hadn't played in a long time. But she was so good at it, better than he ever was. She had a way about her in the ring, and equally, outside of it, that just drew people to her, made people support and believe in her, made people want to know her. Made people seek comfort from her, an opinion, an honest ear.

He had always felt he had a lot to learn from her, though he'd never told her as much.

He really should.

Watching as she did a perfect spinning roundhouse kick to her opponent made his chest swell with pride. That was his girlfriend out there kicking ass.

His girlfriend, who'd he see much less of in the ring live going forward. His girlfriend, who'd he'd see much less of period going forward most likely.

Even though there were no contracts signed at that moment, it was no secret what would probably happen within the next couple months with his career. He was hopeful, honestly, that things would stay on the path they were already on. But that meant it was unlikely he'd still be based in Pennsylvania.

Adam knew his decisions for his own career directly impacted her. For all her support and deflective statements, he knew that what he was doing mattered to Brenna. She could spend all day, until she was out of breath, telling him how much she only wanted the best for him, and he would still have his doubts. Not doubts about the fact she wanted the best for him, no, he trusted that. But that it was the only thing that mattered to her, that he didn't believe.

He knew that if the roles were reversed, and he was staying on the indy scene for a long time and she was going off to do as she pleased, he would not be so calm and collected about it. They had gone through too much struggle, too much bullshit, for him to just say 'OK, yep, you do that, and we'll figure it out'. He needed her close.

Why was he leaving her then? Not leaving her, but he was putting a wrench in their lives and plans. Creating a less consistent contact for them to have. This was solely on him to be changing their lives. He felt selfish…because he was being selfish. He knew he had the right to advance his career, do what he saw fit for himself but still….

This wasn't the first time he'd put wrestling above other things, and it probably wouldn't the last. It wasn't that other things didn't matter or affect him. He just had such a drive for his career that it had always been a hard balance to make with other parts of his life, like family and relationships. Though, in fairness, he used to be a lot more reckless and self-seeking than he was being now. Before, he would have done what he thought was best for himself in the ring without any thought elsewhere. Before, he had let relationships in his life deteriorate as he chased his dreams.

Now, he wanted to know Brenna was OK with how things were, had to have her at least OK with things before he could advance with his ideas.

As he watched her get tagged in again, and immediately throw several elbows at her opponent, he started to think about what her life would be like with him gone.

He would be remiss if he didn't acknowledge his eyes stinging a bit, as his thoughts ran away from him.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Brenna, or trust her position in their relationship. It was everyone else, life, the things that could happen to her or around her when he wasn't there that worried him the most. For as much as he knew and respected her strength, he was still her boyfriend, and he had a place in protecting her and being close to support her at all times. He was really failing in that way by doing what he was.

Brenna was entirely capable of taking care of herself though, and he knew that. What if his being far away more than close-by made her realize how little she really needed him?

Getting Brenna to trust him, be with him, understand he only wanted to be good for her, had taken a lot of time. Would his leaving so soon in their relationship change her opinion of him?

He had worked so hard to make his feelings known to her, believed by her. When it came down to it, he was the reason someone she had once called upon in times of trouble was now the source of her trouble. That said a lot. Who was he to bail on her just when things were starting to settle and make sense and bring them both calm?

She had been through a big and tough loss, an unfortunate catalyst to their current status, if he was being honest. But he had told himself way back when he'd never hurt her if he could help it, would do anything he could to keep her happy. Leaving this company, this part of his life, it wasn't making her happy, no matter what front she was putting up.

He hated himself at that moment. She didn't deserve another big change to adjust to.

"Hey, don't you have to get ready for your match?" Cody's voice startled Adam. He hoped the man didn't notice him taking a shaky breath, and blinking a few times, before looking towards him.

"You see any of this?" Adam questioned as a deflection, indicating with his head the match still going on.

"Not really. Bren doing alright?"

"She's amazing, man," he answered, his eyes already back on the small screen. He tried not to grin too stupidly as Brenna and her partner double-teamed their opponent, getting a near-fall.

"She has been for a long time," Cody stated. "Brandi asked her to help her in the ring a bit, I think."

"That would be good," Adam said, only turning back to his groupmate when the ref was raising Brenna's hand with her partner's. When he faced Cody, he found the other man looking at him, almost curiously, though his face was fairly flat in appearance overall. "…what?"

"You sure about leaving her?"

"I'm not leaving her. We're just…changing how things are."

"Right," Cody said, sounding entirely like he doubted Adam's words. "Look, man, I'm not one to tell anyone how to live their life. Do what makes you happy. But it's a lot harder being with WWE day in and day out, and it takes a bigger toll than you know. On you, on everyone around you. You've got a good thing with Bren. I don't know that much, but I know that. Not being in the same place as her…especially with where you're probably gonna land, it's gonna be really tough. Just…keep that in mind, OK?"

Adam wanted to tell Cody he hadn't signed a contract with WWE yet, so what did it matter in the grand scheme of things? Everything was hypothetical. But, he also recognized Cody had been down that road, been beaten up on that road. And Brandi had very famously followed her husband away from that place, showing the epitome of commitment to one's significant other. He understood where Cody was coming from. He was just trying to save Adam from some struggle at best, and heartache at worst.

But couldn't it work the other way too? What if Brenna eventually came to WWE too, if that was where Adam did go? What if this change made them stronger, any distance reaffirming their need for one another? What if Brenna famously followed him into something new and fun for both of them?

Anything was possible.

"Yea, I hear ya," Adam finally responded, choosing to not further the conversation in any capacity, and simply accept the other man's words. Cody nodded after a moment, before turning to walk down the hallway.

Adam decided to leave the gorilla area before Brenna made it backstage from the ring. He would rather see her later when he could be entirely focused on her, like she deserved. For now, he needed to go get ready for his own last hurrah. And if he was being truthful with himself, he wasn't so sure he wouldn't openly cry the second she was in his arms at this moment.

It was better to wait to see her.

The party was in full swing at Adam's house in no time. Food was being continually made, all of the wrestlers needing a post-show meal. Drinks were flowing, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Adam found himself always having someone to talk to, everyone wanting a chance to wish him well and have a laugh with him about some of his finer moments over the years.

He had found it easier to walk out of the arena earlier tonight than he had anticipated. It was hard, of course, but having done the big things on the PPV two days prior had taken away some of the sting of the situation. Honestly, he couldn't have asked for a better ending to his current Ring of Honor career. The last match he'd done, a dark street fight against Marty, with the Bucks ringside, had felt right. Felt true to the story. Felt like he was leaving a legacy in a way with the company and The Bullet Club.

Of course, he still had other indy shows to tackle, and it was likely that the PWG show this upcoming weekend would bring another big wave of emotion to handle.

For now, though, he was really enjoying getting to share a beer with Cary, a father-figure in a lot of ways, and laugh over his Panama Playboy gimmick from yesteryear.

When the conversation had run its natural course, Adam did a lap to make sure everyone was getting on well and had what they needed. He went over to where the drinks were in various buckets and coolers on the side of the house, checking the situation. Some of them needed more ice, and he set about doing this.

"Hey." Adam looked over his shoulder, realizing that the voice he'd thought was Jay's…was, in fact, Jay's. The older Briscoe was standing a few feet from him, hands shoved into his hoodie front pocket.

"…hey." Adam had not at all expected to see either of the brothers at his house that night for the gathering. While he had extended the invitation to everyone in the back, he hadn't anticipated his least-favorite-coworkers to show. He was immediately on guard.

"Need any help?"

"…I've got it," Adam answered, dumping the ice bag into the cooler over top the beers he'd placed in there a few moments ago. He figured Jay must have been watching him to see when he didn't have others around him, making it safe to approach.

Jay Briscoe was not dumb, no matter what kind of portrayal he put out of himself publicly.

"Look, I know we ain't… I'm not your biggest fan, and you ain't mine," Jay stated. "But we got Bren in common. And…. We gotta do right by her."

"That's all I've been doing," Adam responded tightly, crumpling up the now empty plastic bag and tossing it into the nearby trash bag.

"For now."

"Fuck you." There was no hesitation in his response, as he turned to fully face the other man. Jay wasn't much bigger than Adam, maybe a bit broader in the shoulders, but that was about it. He wasn't whatsoever intimated by the other man, especially knowing he was the one in the right.

"Fuck you, too," Jay retorted with no reluctance himself. "You came outta nowhere, thinking you had any right to be involved in our family, and you didn't. No one, no one, thinks it's OK how you got with Bren."

"…and what? You wanted me to what? Ask for your permission to date her? What are you, from the fucking Stone Age? Brenna is a human. She can make her own decisions."

"She was messed up, going through some really tough shit, and you…you of all fucking people…." Jay just glared at the less-tattooed man, not finishing his thought.

"What? What did I of all fucking people do? Comfort her? Make her feel safe? Take care of her?Love her? I'm not fucking sorry."

The silence that followed the moment allowed Adam to fully take stock of what he'd said.

Love.

Love.

Did he love Brenna?

They'd only been together really a couple months. Things had been entirely sideways in their relationship only a couple months before then. Despite how much she'd meant to him, and how poorly he'd went about handling those feelings, it was still a relationship in infancy. It was a bit soon for love, wasn't it?

Was he just trying to get the better of Jay by saying it?

Fuck.

Brenna. She was…everything good he'd ever understood, that was true. She didn't deserve to be a sticking point in an argument, a petty argument at that.

Jay seemed to just as much realize the declaration the younger man had made. And was just as quiet in response to it.

It was better to ignore the situation.

"Listen. If you just came here to start shit, then don't bother, and leave. This bullshit isn't going to make any of us better, and I'm not about to let Bren have to deal with it anymore." Adam's assertion was made in a fierce tone, a tone that Jay had honestly only heard once before. The time when he'd confronted Adam in a parking lot.

"No, you listen. That's not… I'm not here for this back and forth bullshit," Jay admitted, some of his intensity dissipating. He hadn't come here for a fight, and he needed to remember that. He needed to make his original goal his mission.

"I just… you're gonna be gone right?" Adam nodded briefly in agreement. "Then, I want Bren to know… With you not around as much, I wanna make sure she's taken care of."

"She'll be fine. She has friends."

It was clear what Adam was saying with emphasis on the last word, and both knew that. Friends. Friends that weren't Jay. Friends that cared for her and didn't judge her. Friends that wanted the best for her without question. Friends that didn't start fights with her. Friends that accepted their relationship.

"I'm not sorry for being worried about her being with you. I ain't ever gonna apologize for that," Jay declared. "But…Bren…she's headstrong, always has been. I know that and I gotta accept that. Appreciate that. So…I don't…my history with her, it isn't gone, and it'll never be gone. I don't have to be happy with her, but I can't forget her."

"Well you've done a pretty damn good job of forgetting her these last couple months," Adam pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest. "She hasn't once mentioned you, or you reaching out to make things better."

"Two-way street, buddy."

"What did you want from her, huh? To come crawling back to you, tell you she was sorry she was with me and you were right? You just fucking told me you respect her being strong. That strength isn't just when you like it. Her strength right now is in refusing to let you control her and change her mind on something she believes in. And I'm glad that something is me."

Adam watched as Jay became tenser, and squared his own shoulders in response. If this verbal disagreement was about to turn into a physical one, he was ready.

"…I hope you're not this much of a prick to her," Jay stated.

"Get the fuck out of my house." Adam glared at the other man as he spoke. This conversation was over as far as he was concerned. While Jay had approached him with the best of intentions seemingly, it was clear he was still not over his own issues and bullshit opinions. Adam was tired of this conversation, and he had no desire to have Brenna have to deal with anything Jay Briscoe tonight either. "I said, get out. Go!"

"No," Jay refused, crossing his own arms over his chest. "I am not leaving here until you understand where I'm coming from."

"OH? It seems you're coming from the place of being the fucking douche you've been being for a while. Brenna is better than this petty shit you're throwing at us. She doesn't need it or want it or deserve it. And I will NOT let you upset her tonight with this bullshit." Adam paused for a moment, restraining himself from taking a step closer to the other man. "I will remove you from my house if I have to."

Jay didn't respond for a beat, instead cocking his head ever so much as he looked at Adam.

Adam waited for his next move, fully ready to fulfill his declarations and drag the man from the premises if had to. He knew he'd have backup in the matter if needed.

"…do me a favor," Jay posed. "All this hate and anger, all this passion you have for Brenna's wellbeing, don't ever lose it."

That was very much the last thing Adam expected to hear from Jay right then.

And Jay sticking out his hand for a shake, that was the last thing Adam expected to see.

"Be good to her. And I'll make sure to do the same when you're gone."

It still didn't seem real, and if questioned about it, Adam wouldn't be able to explain why he slowly extended his own hand to take the other. Part of him just wanted the situation to be over, but another part of him….

He stayed on guard through the action, half-expecting Jay to pull him in and try to punch him still. Instead, Jay shook his hand, and then turned and walked away without further words.

Adam was still for a second, watching the retreating back of the elder Briscoe, before grabbing a beer from the nearby cooler.

He needed it.

Brenna was thoroughly enjoying her night. She was currently nursing a liquor drink and laughing with Corino and Kaz as they told her some 'baby Adam' stories she'd never heard before. She didn't know where her significant other was at that moment, but she hoped he stayed away so she could continue to get blackmail material.

Eventually, she couldn't ignore the chill that was starting to run through her body. Apparently, the long sleeve she was in, wasn't enough, and she needed another layer. She excused herself from her friends, heading into the house and down to the bedroom. Digging around in Adam's things, she took out one of his zip-ups and pulled it on, relishing in its size and Adam-ness.

When she came back down the hallway and into the kitchen, she came face to face with someone she had not expected to see.

"What are you doing here?"

"Shit, it's good to see you too," Jay replied, his eyes scanning over her, taking in her full appearance. Brenna tightened her hand at her side, trying to remember to not crush her cup in her other hand.

"Can't say the same," she snidely retorted. Brenna brushed passed him, heading back out the door into the backyard. She heard him follow after her.

"Yikes," he stated, as he was able to use his much longer stride to pass by her. Brenna stopped walking as he stood in front of her, not really giving her a choice in her actions. "When did you get so callous?"

"Callous? Did someone buy you a thesaurus recently?" His jaw tightened and shifted. Brenna held her gaze with his, trying to keep her back as straight as she could. "Jay, if you're here to cause shit, then just leave. Go. What's happened is done and nothing's changed."

"I dunno bout that," he said, causing her eyebrows to draw down ever so slightly. "Come on bug, just hear me out."

"Don't call me that."

"A'ight, fine. Brenna, hear me out." It took everything in her to not lash out at him. She rolled her shoulders back, before giving a small nod of her head. "I talked to Cole a little while ago."

Her immediate thought was: bullshit. Except Jay looked entirely serious.

"You know, you're gonna be out on the road, and he's not. That ain't gonna be easy."

"You don't say," was her sarcastic response.

"Will you just fucking stop and listen to me?" She reluctantly bit back another retort. "Man, you've got this idea that you're the only one who isn't happy with how shit is, and you're wrong. I get it, OK? We're on bad terms. Shit, you think Mandy hasn't been at me constantly over this?"

Hearing that his wife was unhappy with their situation was bittersweet. She had considered the woman a friend as well, and suddenly she realized in cutting out Jay she'd cut his better half out too, which was no fault of Mandy's. Brenna had felt justified in this until now. Now she felt a bit bad, honestly.

"I get it, alright? I have to let you do what you want to do. But I don't have to be happy about it."

"You can be unhappy, but you don't have to be a dick about it. You have no right to hate me for trying to be happy."

"I don't hate you. I hate what you're doing."

"OK. Sure. Because that distinction has been made oh so clear?" Brenna rolled her eyes. "Jay, I don't wanna do this again. I can't. So just…say what you feel you have to and leave me alone."

"…do you know what I did after you called me to tell me Evan was gone?"

This was not the turn in the conversation Brenna saw coming. It wasn't something she ever expected to talk about with Jay ever, honestly. All she could do in response was barely shrug.

"I cried," he admitted.

Brenna didn't know what to do with that information.

"You were so…I'd never heard you so hurt before. And I knew I couldn't do anything to change it. And he was my friend too, ya know? We had a lot of good nights all out together. But knowing you were…you were so broken up…it was a fucking nightmare for me. … Ev always trusted me to watch out for ya, and I couldn't do anything for you then."

"I don't want to talk about this," she decided. "It doesn't matter now."

"Yea, it fucking does." Jay waited to make sure she wasn't about to scamper off and away from him. "It matters because I don't think you realize how much you mean to me. I ain't out here acting like I am just for fun. I'm trying to watch out for you."

"Well, that's a nice sentiment, but what you're actually doing is making things worse for me."

"Yea, I got that, I guess." Jay paused, sighing. "Do I fully trust Cole? Hell no. But I don't not trust him a little bit either. It's been a couple months, you seem good. But a couple months isn't that long. He can still be who I know he's capable of bein'."

"You don't have to trust him," Brenna allowed. "But don't you trust me?"

"I always did."

"The only thing stopping you now is you then. Fuck Jay, this is my life, my choices. I think I'm making really good ones honestly. I feel…OK, again. The best I've felt in a while. Adam is a huge part of that. And if for some insane reason it goes sour, then, that was my mistake to make."

"I know… Look, this doesn't fix it all, I know that. I said some stuff to Adam tonight too, just wanted to try to make the peace I guess. Just…when we're out on the road, don't… I'm around if you need something, a'ight?"

That was a Jay Briscoe apology if she ever heard one.

"…yea, alright."

It was a shaky truce at best, and they both knew that. Time would be necessary to heal these wounds. But it seemed at least they were both willing to work through it out for now.

"Bug, I mean that," Jay reiterated. "I'm not just…. You're in for a lot, and I don't…I want you to know you're not just… It'll be OK, OK?"

Brenna took some type of pleasure in watching Jay stumble over his words, struggle to convey what he was trying to mean.

"I knew that…before you said it," she replied. "Momma ain't raised no weakling."

"No, that she certainly didn't," he laughed in agreement.

Brenna smiled at his laugh, feeling just the tiniest bit lighter. While Jay had a lot of ground to cover with her as far as getting her to trust and want him around again, it was a nice start to redemption for her.

Looking across the yard, her eyes caught Adam's, as he stood talking with Matt and Nick. He looked thoroughly concerned but was clearly keeping himself from storming over to the pair. As a means to settle her clearly agitated boyfriend, she winked and smiled a bit.

Things were looking better, but what she really wanted to know was what Jay had said to Adam earlier. That would really matter in her outlook and future decisions.

What if I was made for you and you were made for me?

What if this is it, what if it's meant to be?

What if I ain't one of them fools just playin' some game?

What if I just pulled you close, what if I leaned in,

And the stars line up and it's our last first kiss?

What if one of these days baby I'd go and change your name?

What if I loved all these what ifs away?