A Meeting with Your (Fake) Hero!
Crybaby…
Effeminate…
Girly…
Unmanly…
Pathetic…
Pushover…
Weak.
While it couldn't be denied that those words afflicted Chihiro's mind on a daily basis, today all of them decided to turn into a loud and nightmarish rhapsody of torment against his psyche. Knowing why that was the case in the first place wasn't making things better, if anything, it only made them worse…
Not for the first, and she highly doubts the last time either, her weakness came out to shine. Humiliating herself in front of the entire group, turning her into a burden for others to deal with, all the while also causing trouble to each one of them.
Why couldn't she stand her ground against Togami?
Why couldn't she have the strength to stand up on her own?
Why…why couldn't she be like him?
…
…
…
…Him.
The mere act of thinking about that person made the corners of her lips creep upwards, improving her mood. Just a tad bit, and with some self-depreciation in-between, but an improvement nonetheless.
There used to be a time in which Chihiro put herself on the endless search for someone she could look up to, someone she could see as a goal to reach. It all came from quite simple logic. If Chihiro were to follow the steps of such an incredible individual, then such a path would inevitably lead to her overcoming her incapacity, and finally acquiring what she desired the most.
It ended up being easier said than done, though. Her own shy nature along with her reluctance at opening up to people in combination with her stubbornness in hiding deeper and deeper into her safe space made it so that her motivation subsided at an increasing rate with each passing day that her objective provided zero progress.
Perhaps not today…
That person truly wasn't what I was looking for…
Should I really go for it…?
Before she couldfigure out what had happened, Chihiro one day simply decided…that it wasn't worth the effort, that it would make her life much easier if she simply tried no more, and to embrace this armor of thorns she called weakness, to wear it regardless of how much it would hurt. Years went by and while there was this corner of her mind always ready to remind her how much she hated herself for giving up so easily, Chihiro learned to live with it as the penance she had to pay for being so weak. So long as she could keep the rot of her weakness buried for nobody to see, she could survive.
Then Monokuma happened.
The monochrome bear, the Killing Game, being trapped in this place forever, and those horrible motives being a source of the nightmares that terrorize her night by night. At the pace things were going, and whether their captor knew of it or not, Chihiro didn't doubted that the time for procrastination was no more, and it was merely a matter of time before her weakness, in all its truest and ugliest of forms, came to light in this horrible mockery of a school.
Just when everything seemed lost for Chihiro, when her insecurities were ready to eat her from the inside out and she was about to fall into the deepest pits of despair…a new shining ray of hope presented within the person Chihiro would've least expected it.
Shizuka Shigaraki.
Thinking about it now, Chihiro could admit with no small amount of shame that, much like most of her classmates, the revelation of the golden-eyed teenager's talent made Chihiro wary of him. Perhaps nowhere near as much as those less subtle about their distaste for Shigaraki, but enough to regret that, once again, she couldn't be as strong as people like Enoshima, or Naegi at least, and to look beyond what Monokuma wanted them to see.
She tried to correct that, of course. Unlike the majority of her classmates apparently, she didn't forget that not so long after Monokuma was making beeping sounds when Owada lounged at him on the first day, Shigaraki didn't waste a second to put the Gang Leader out of danger's way. Not like that helped much though, as Chihiro's lack of assertiveness made her unable to make any proper explanation, leaving the entire responsibility of backing up Shigaraki to the Fashionista.
When one thinks about it, it is no wonder he only wants to hang out with Enoshima…maybe…maybe if I did some similar back then…
Chihiro mentally shook her head out of those envious thoughts. Even if the golden-eyed teenager wasn't set on spending his time only with the strawberry-blonde, nothing would've changed. Sure, Chihiro was one of the few who did give him a morning greeting during the first's days…but attempting something beyond that? No, Chihiro knew that before that incident, she lacked the courage to go that far.
That's right…that incident from just two days ago.
Chihiro was confident that everyone's perception of Shigaraki turned upside down on that day. But for her, it went beyond that. Back before then, everyone was submitted at the will of Monokuma, defenseless and incapable of doing as much as raising a hand against him or the responsible for controlling the remote robot. No matter what anyone could claim, under the red-glowing gaze of the monochrome bear, everyone was weak.
Until Shigaraki proved otherwise.
Rather than allowing his 'Admittedly bigger of a mystery…' motive to turn him into a sulking mess like the rest of the group, he made it the first stepping stone on the campaign of rebellion against the mastermind, while also preventing a murder from happening as his first strike, hitting where it hurt the black and white bear the most.
Just as it seemed that Monokuma was going to counterattack, claiming the life of a classmate with his own paws, once again it was Shigaraki who put a halt to his machinations. It didn't matter in the slightest how did the monochrome bear attempted to retaliate, be it spears, explosions, or even more spears! The golden-eyed teenager was ready to fight all of it without breaking a sweat.
Even when their captor tried the act of showing muscle, making use of their title as absolute ruler in what had become their world for the past week, all in an attempt to make Shigaraki back down, he didn't give up! Shigaraki gave one last push, with him twisting the tides in his favor, and for the first time, it showed everyone that there was hope, that Monokuma could be defeated!
The speed to save Enoshima's life.
The power to keep her away from any harm.
The smarts to beat the monochrome bear on his own twisted game.
The nerves of steel to never waver under the despair.
Hell yeah, dude! You put that piece of shit in its place to defend your chick! That was manly as fuck!
When even Owada gave his seal of approval, Chihiro came to a ground-breaking realization. This was it…what she had thought of giving up all those years back, Chihiro finally found it…
The strongest, bravest, and manliest person she will ever have the opportunity to meet, all within reach.
And if that wasn't enough to seal the deal…
There was what transpired just a few moments ago, when the golden-eyed teenager began to talk about how meaningless he saw himself as, about how those he cares about were what gave genuine value to his existence. It changed her perspective of him further than what these past days had done. Not in a negative way, mind you. At least not when it came to Shigaraki. Because that in itself turned into an admirable trait in Chihiro's opinion.
Even when he showed what was undoubtedly a flaw of sorts, Shigaraki managed to turn it into an announcement of his resolve and bravery. It was more or less a threat of sorts, the Ultimate Programmer didn't doubt that, in which he announced that whoever attempted to compromise his friend would pay for it. Despite how intimidating he was at that moment, though…rather than scaring her 'Okay, maybe it was a little terrifying…', Chihiro couldn't help respecting the golden-eyed teenager exponentially more than she already did.
After all, if someone as incredible as Shigaraki could turn his own weakness into strength…that meant there was some hope for even someone like her, right?
…
…
…
"…Yeah, as if" For all the eagerness thinking of the golden-eyed teenager brought, Chihiro couldn't help that bitter statement of resignation.
Didn't she just come out of the library after such a pitiful display? Forcing others to fight her own battles while she was a crying mess? For all she could wish to be at least one-hundredth of what Shigaraki was, there was no way Chihiro could be even a fraction of it, and if the raven-haired teenager was here to even bother with someone as pathetic as her, he would have told her the same.
After all, while Shigaraki was undoubtedly giving his all into finding a solution, or safeguarding Enoshima's safety at the very least, all Chihiro was doing was wandering through the halls of this faux school 'Or was it the real one? Ever since the apparent discovery of that letter, it was hard to tell which possibility to dread the most…' with no direction in mind, doing zero contributions whatsoever other than uselessly brooding more self-deprecating thoughts.
Truly, Chihiro could only see herself as lucky that he was nowhere near to see how miserable―
"Fujisaki" A voice Chihiro had learned to recognize so as to not miss any spiel of wisdom they could give brought the Programmer out of her reverie.
And with it, bone-shattering shivers began to run down her spine.
Snapping her head back in the direction of said voice, Chihiro saw it…
Just half a meter ahead of the Programmer, Shigaraki was standing there, doing nothing else other than looking back with that gaze of his whose features lacked even the tiniest of hints about what was running inside his head. Plus, somewhere in between, Chihiro briefly wondered if he got this close without her noticing it because she was that distracted, or if the golden-eyed teenager was simply that good. A combination of the two, perhaps?
Mentally shaking her head of those distracting thoughts, and doing her best in swallowing the lump of nervousness forming in her stomach, Chihiro looked up at the face of the raven-haired teenager, even if doing so without meeting his eyes "S-Shigaraki…u-um…hi?"
"Mhm, greetings" Was the only thing Shigaraki said, with an uncomfortable silence drawing on afterward. At least it was in Chihiro's personal opinion, it was hard 'More like straight up impossible…' to tell if it was any inconvenience for Shigaraki.
Whether Shigaraki was turning this into a battle of wills purposely or not, Chihiro decided to be the one throwing the towel, and said the first thing that came to mind "Uh…is Enoshima not with you?"
The moment that sentence made its entire way out of her mouth, Chihiro wanted to kick himself for saying that of all things. It wasn't like saying only that was enough to cause Shigaraki's ire, fortunately, but Chihiro could easily observe how those seemingly impassive eyes of his flared to life at the mere mention of the Fashionista…although, and it might be just Chihiro's imagination, there was also a thorn sentiment of sorts within those amber orbs.
Whatever that was about, he must've noticed it, because just as fast, he managed to school his features back into stoicism.
I wish I could do that too…
"Don't worry about her, she's in the cafeteria. Something came up so we had to…separate" Shigaraki said, and Chihiro could've sworn that that last part sounded strained.
…
…Regardless of that, Chihiro hummed in understanding "O-Oh, I see…"
And the silence once again reigned between the two.
It drawled on for enough time that, eventually, the Programmer couldn't help shifting on her feet. Rather than doing it out of feeling uncomfortable, it was more among the lines of pure nervousness. Shigaraki wanted to talk with her, or at least tell her something, that Chihiro could assess based on what she had seen so far. What was important about it though, was to understand what could he want with Chihiro of all people.
Could…could it be that Shigaraki needs her? That he was about to ask for her help because no one but Chihiro can do what she could for whatever big scheme he was planning next, was that it?
…
…
…
…No.
There was no way that was the case. The idea that Shigaraki saw her as someone essential would have been laughable if it didn't hurt like it did on the inside.
The best someone as useless as me can do is to step aside and hope that I never come to accidentally ruin anything for him.
"Fujisaki…are you okay?"
For a second time in a row, Shigaraki's voice caught the Programmer off-guard, only this time for the question itself rather than the suddenness of it, even if that also was a contributor. Despite what he asked, he didn't sound concerned, and neither looked particularly troubled. Chihiro could only assume that was simply how Shigaraki usually acted when your name wasn't Junko Enoshima.
Whatever the case was though, that inquiry about her wellness was still a surprise nonetheless.
After all…Could Chihiro say that she was okay?
"Uh-huh, I'm alright…" Chihiro lied, surprising even herself at how easy that came out.
"…I see" Again, the way Shigaraki spoke did its job in concealing the inner gears within his brain, making it a herculean task to figure out if he caught out on her deception or not, though that in itself was making Chihiro lean towards the former "In any case, there is something I want to talk with you"
Relief spread over the Programmer as Shigaraki let the previous subject to die rather easily, and he was finally getting to what this was all about. It wasn't much, but nevertheless, it was enough for Chihiro to dare inquire about it "Oh, s-sure…um, what is it?"
For a third time, the golden-eyed teenager kept himself quiet for a moment "…I need you to follow me somewhere else so we can properly talk about it" Luckily, this time it didn't lasted as much.
Not like that mattered too much, with what he said being concerning enough.
For the briefest of moments, a small corner of her mind pondered about the possibility of this being a trap laid out by Shigaraki. Luring her into a location where he could properly commit murder without getting caught, choosing Chihiro of all people because of how easy of a prey she was.
Although just as fast as it came, Chihiro discarded it, even going as far as feeling bad for even thinking of such a scenario.
Out of everyone here, he had the biggest motive, or at least the most obvious, to not make such a move. After all, if there was one thing anyone can be one hundred percent certain of knowing about Shigaraki, was that Enoshima was one, if not possibly the most important person there was for him in the entire world, so compromising her life was out of the question. That much he had made sure of making crystal clear for everyone to understand.
Besides…
Hadn't Chihiro been looking for something like this ever since her admiration for him sparked to life? The combination of Chihiro's lack of initiative along with Shigaraki's intent of spending his time with no one else but Enoshima made the possibility of hanging out with him practically zero…but lo and behold, here it was Shigaraki himself offering her the chance to talk with him with no one else to interrupt them. The opportunity to have a one-on-one conversation. Sure, there was an apparently urgent matter to address, but, once done with that, perhaps…
…
…
…
"…O-Okay, where do we go?" Finally decided, the barest hints of determination leaking out.
She won't get a shot like this one ever again. For once in her life, Chihiro had to dare take it.
The raven-haired teenager didn't give her a smile or any other notorious sign of approval at Chihiro's agreement, neither seemed surprised that she had agreed so easily. Instead, he allowed his actions to speak for him, giving Chihiro a nod before turning away "Good, this way then"
And so, just behind him, the programmer followed in his steps.
While Chihiro would never deny that being trapped here was akin to being confined in a prison 'Not like I have been in one before, but still…', she can admit that with the addition of the second floor, the available space of their confinement grew exponentially.
The reason why for the sudden interest in how large this place was, came from the fact that…the silence from each party as they walked through the halls was becoming unbearable. Now, Chihiro wasn't blaming this on Shigaraki, if anything, as entire minutes of the Programmer not initiating any conversation drawled on, Chihiro couldn't help putting the fault on her.
Here I am, with the source of admiration I've been searching for years…and I can't even do as much as ask him about the weather at least? It is no wonder I am such a weak and pathetic excuse of a m―
"We are here"
Waking up from her self-deprecating thoughts, Chihiro shifted her head up to see what ended up being their destination.
It was the dressing room for the bathhouse.
Before Chihiro could begin to wonder why here of all places, he stepped inside. Not wanting to be left behind, Chihiro immediately followed after him.
Once within the dressing room, the Programmer noticed that Shigaraki was giving some scrutinous looks around the room. That in turn made her recalculate the importance of this meeting. Even if it was involving someone as inconsequential as her, it appeared he was taking some serious measures. No matter how Chihiro looked at the circumstances, it appeared this was even more important than what she previously imagined.
As if to further prove her point, the golden-eyed teenager turned to Chihiro with a serious look, at least one more so than his regular one, before addressing her "Wait here for a moment. I won't take more than a minute"
Saying nothing more than that, Shigaraki went to the only other door within the room and disappeared inside, leaving Chihiro to her own devices.
Feeling like doing nothing would make things even more awkward for her, while also going and prodding around had the chance of going against Shigaraki's wishes, Chihiro did the only thing left at her disposal that wouldn't clash with either issue.
Look around to distract herself.
Shigaraki said that he would take a single minute so this should prove diverting enough, I guess.
As her eyes wandered around the dressing room, Chihiro couldn't say she was impressed by what she was seeing. Sure, there were the massaging chairs, and the plants were a great addition to the room, but…It wasn't like the Programmer was objecting to Shigaraki's choice of a location for a conversation…although all the same, as far as Chihiro could tell, there wasn't anything remarkable in here, which was why she wondered what was so special about this place that…that…
…
…
…
…Eh?
Wanting to make sure she wasn't seeing things, or more like why Chihiro wasn't seeing them, the Programmer darted her eyes everywhere she could. Repeating the same action once, twice…no matter how many times Chihiro looked around, she couldn't find even a single one of them within the room.
A surveillance camera.
Could it be that…yeah it has to be. Shigaraki chose this place on purpose because our captor can't spy on us here! Then, if this is truly a blind spot from Monokuma, what is Shigaraki planning to―
Chihiro's inner pondering came to an end when, just as promised, Shigaraki came back "Sorry for the wait, I had to make sure there weren't any eavesdroppers"
Inside the sauna room? That seemed a bit over the top…though, maybe Chihiro saw it that way simply because she lacked the experience to see things as Shigaraki did.
Unlike me, he can actually back up his statements…
Agreeing with that train of thought, Chihiro left it aside "Um, Shigaraki…did you choose this place because there aren't any surveillance devices around?"
"Mhm," Shigaraki easily admitted, much to the Programmer's surprise "Now, before we get into what this is all about…I need you to agree to two conditions"
Chihiro gave an audible gulp at that. Judging by the way Shigaraki said that last part, this wasn't something she could stutter about. The only answers available were a yes or a no, with anything other than that being a counterproductive waste of time for the both of them at best, and…well, she didn't even want to imagine what could the consequences be at worst.
While Chihiro understood that she was walking in absolute darkness here, she couldn't find in herself to say no. Part of her wanted to, of course. Whatever this might be about, there was no doubt now that it was big, which translated into being equally dangerous. If Chihiro were to agree to this, she won't be capable of backing away midway through.
Nevertheless…
"Those conditions…what are they?" Even with all of that into consideration…just the idea that Shigaraki was confiding him something like this made Chihiro want to, at the very least, consider what the raven-haired boy was offering.
"First of all…" Never being one to waste anyone's time with idle chat, Shigaraki quickly began to list off his terms "…What I am about to show and tell you must never get out of this room. By this, I mean that you can't take any of it with you, and neither you can reveal anything we talk about here with anyone, not even with me once outside this room. While I will make sure of the former…" Shigaraki said as he brought out one of the locker's keys from his pockets "…The latter will depend entirely on you. Is that clear?"
"Y-Yes!" Chihiro couldn't help getting equally terrified and pumped up at what Shigaraki was talking about.
The golden-eyed teenager stared at him for about a minute, almost as if gauging the veracity of her words.
"Now, about the second condition…" Seemingly satisfied by Chihiro's agreement, Shigaraki continued, only this time with an intensity in his face that send shivers down Chihiro's spine "…You must be already aware of it by now, but the amount of trust I'm putting in you by even telling you this much is something that I've done so few times in my entire life that I can count it with a single hand. I need you to pay me back this trust I am investing in you, Fujisaki. Whatever decisions I make about what is going to be discussed here, you will agree to them without reproaching…understood?"
Unlike the first part of the agreement, this time there wasn't any excitement, only the dread coming from the titanic mountain of expectations Shigaraki putting on her and the fear of not being up to the task. His words finally making it dawn in its entirety what was she getting into.
…
…
…
…And even so…
"I…I understand Shigaraki, I-I will do my best to meet your expectations!" While the logical side of her mind was scolding the Programmer, telling Chihiro that this wasn't the best of ideas 'More like a terrible one…', the rest of it was screaming for her to go for it. Shigaraki was offering her the chance to prove herself. Granted, Chihiro still had no idea what this was about…but even so! This was the kind of moment she had been looking for her entire life! How could she say no to it then?
Unsurprisingly, Shigaraki didn't even do as much as twitch his lips upwards. That didn't mean there wasn't a different reaction from usual though. It was hardly noticeable, but his body looked less tense, and while he was nowhere as near to showing hostility at the Programmer at any moment, his face was now relatively more relaxed than just a moment ago. All in all, Chihiro was tempted to think of it as Shigaraki feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders the moment she agreed to his established rules.
"Alright, then in that case…" Shigaraki trailed off before turning to the lockers, used the key he had brought out a moment ago, and with a loud click one of the compartments opened. Following that, Shigaraki did a hand motion for Chihiro to get closer.
With permission for it, the Programmer did as told, or gestured in this case, and approached the golden-eyed teenager. Once close enough, Chihiro gave the locker a peek, seeing―
! ! !
W-What…?
"I found this laptop accumulating some dust in the library," Shigaraki told her as if answering the unsaid question.
"R-Right…" Chihiro said absently. While admittedly surprised of finding a laptop in Shigaraki's hands, she already knew beforehand of its existence since back during the investigation of the second floor. Truth was, she had already planned for today to give it a look, but…well, seeing what just transpired less than an hour ago, that got inevitably delayed, to put it in kinder words.
Which is why instead, she was more focused on the other item hanging inside the lockers "…Shigaraki, about that other thing, i-is that what I think it is…?"
"If you are thinking of a network cable, then yeah, it is exactly as you believe"
A laptop…
Along with a network cable…
This…
This was…
"…Is…is this what you wanted me for?" Chihiro felt kinda dumb at asking that, but it, unfortunately, came before she could stop herself from saying it out loud.
"Mhm," If Shigaraki felt irked at the question, he did a perfect job at hiding it "I know you aren't an engineer, or that just because you are the Ultimate Programmer that doesn't necessarily mean being also an expert in hardware or mechanics in general, so before we rush into discussing things any further…can you fix whatever it is wrong with it?"
Chihiro's gaze shifted from Shigaraki toward the device in question. Staring at it with a blank look on her face. Then, almost as if possessed by an instinct of sorts, the Programmer went and picked it up. Some small corner of her mind momentarily panicked, expecting for the raven-haired teenager to snap at Chihiro for picking it up without permission. When that didn't happen though, and instead he was giving her an expectant look, or his version of it at least, Chihiro allowed herself to relax and get into examining the laptop with a scrutinous dedication surely most wouldn't expect from her, not even Chihiro.
Without Shigaraki pressuring her at any point, it was only a matter of minutes before she was done with the assessment of the device "Hmm, there isn't anything out of place within the outer hardware, with all their keyboards functioning without a problem and its monitor being in perfect state, if only a bit dirty, and even the sockets seem fine as far I can tell, but…"
"It's the internal side that you are worried about, isn't it?" Shigaraki completed for her.
"Y-Yeah, just giving it some glances isn't enough to surmise the state of its inner components, sorry…" Chihiro admitted, partly alleviated that Shigaraki was easily picking up on it, and equally concerned that she couldn't give him an immediate reassuring answer "Um, b-but it's fine! My room has some stuff in it that I can use to both check that out and if isn't anything too serious, I'm sure I can fix it!"
"Is that so?" She was glad to hear that didn't sound either sarcastic or skeptical, but instead with the barest hint of curiosity "In that case, we will arrange how to deal with that later, for now, let's say hypothetically speaking, if you managed to turn this laptop into a fully functional one, and were to use the cable to connect you to an ethernet port within this building and get access to its network…how much could you do with that?"
"…Eh?" Dumbfounded would be an understatement about how Chihiro was feeling after the golden-eyed teenager said all of that. Even if she doesn't doubt that those kinds of ideas would come from the mind of someone like him and that he was talking of only conjectures, it was still too specific. Besides, given the circumstances…could it be? "Shigaraki, about this hypothetic scenario, did…did you perhaps found a place where you could do something like that? And that's not all, now that I think about it, that network cable…where did you get it?"
Chihiro would've patted herself on the back for not stuttering 'At least not that much…' such inquiries, but right now she was curious more than anything else about what Shigaraki would tell her.
He didn't say anything at first, being more occupied weighing whether to tell her or not. At least that was what Chihiro would've liked to believe, rather than Shigaraki not even bothering to give any answer at all.
When just about a minute passed, and the Programmer was about to hurry a series of apologies for annoying him, Shigaraki spoke up, though even Chihiro could notice that he did so begrudgingly "…Given that you and I will be collaborating, I suppose there's no point in hiding the first part of what you asked about"
"T-The first part?" No way…Did he seriously managed something like that? "Are you referring to finding somewhere with access to the network…?"
The raven-haired nodded "Mhm, I did"
"For real!? T-Then, where is it!?" Chihiro didn't even tried to hide her amazement, along with her impression of him growing exponentially. How could it not? While everyone was sulking with the prospect of not even making the barest of progress in finding a way out, here he was Shigaraki preparing another assault against the mastermind!
Although, for all good the previous euphoria was, it diminished to a degree with what Shigaraki said next "I can't tell you"
"O-Oh, I…I understand" Chihiro said, unable to hide her dejectedness.
"Don't get me wrong" Clearly, Shigaraki thought otherwise "I will eventually reveal you more details about this. It is inevitable considering your role, but doing so right at this moment not only is unnecessary, but it also puts an enormous target on your back. That is a risk we can't afford, Fujisaki"
Regardless of what people thought of him, Shigaraki had always been good at making points clear, which is why She understood the logic behind his words. But…
Precisely because of that…
Even though we are collaborating as he pointed out…because I am so weak, Shigaraki has to put extra weight on protecting me…
"…We got sidetracked" Whether ignorant of Chihiro's thoughts or not, Shigaraki put the previous issue to rest "So, regarding the laptop once again, what could you do with it once fixed and with what I previously told you?"
"W-Well, if I am honest, even after repairing it, I couldn't immediately tell …" Rather than feeling glad at the change of topic, Chihiro felt a wave of disappointment wash over her as for another consecutive occasion, she couldn't give him any reassurances "…I-I have to know what I'm working with. Processors, its motherboard, s-stuff like that…I'm confident I can make it work to have the potential capacity to access the network with what you told me, but still…"
At the beginning of this ordeal, Chihiro was undoubtedly excited, there's no denying that. As for now? The little to non-existent confidence in herself began to fall like a meteor wanting to crash on earth the further this topic went on, and more complications began to make themselves clear.
Could she really find out what's wrong with the laptop in the first place?
If she did, could Chihiro truly fix it?
Even in the case of repairing it, there's the issue of fulfilling to the expectations Shigaraki was putting on her. The Programmer was already failing in doing so. What's stopping her from keeping this spiral of blunders going on?
Nothing.
Wasn't it obvious? Someone like her couldn't do anything right, not even when the most obvious opportunity rises.
Why…why can't I stop being so useless for once in my life!?
"Fujisaki"
Much like had already been doing multiple times through the day, Shigaraki's voice made Chihiro come back to her senses, and looking up, while there wasn't a hint of concern on his face at first glance, the way his lips shifted into a thin line was probably its closest equivalent for the golden-eyed teenager.
"…S-Sorry, I-I got distracted for a moment, but I am fine, really" The Programmer lied, not like that was convincing anyone though, even now she could feel the salty wetness of her tears reaching down her cheeks.
God, I'm so pathetic…
"…Are you sure? If don't you feel like it right now, we could wait until later to―"
"Y-You don't have to do that, for real!" You don't have to pity me, that was what Chihiro wanted to say deep inside "L-like I said before, I have the necessary tools in my room, a-and I'm sure that with them I can get something done! So, l-let's…let's talk about that, y-yeah? About how are we going to do this"
Shigaraki did nothing but blink for a few moments, making Chihiro worry about him insisting on delaying this for another occasion out of 'Pity' concern for the Programmer. Fortunately, though… "…Alright, let's move into that"
"Yeah! T-That would be for the best!" This time she meant it. The sooner they leave behind the exchange from you a moment ago, the better.
"Mhm, now then…" A thoughtful expression formed on Shigaraki's face "First, there's the obvious, which is that we can't work with the laptop in daylight. Our absence will gather too much attention, both from our classmates and Monokuma, which I do not doubt will lead them to either of them finding us here sooner rather than later"
Monokuma Chihiro could understand the concern, and while it would be bad if the group discovered what they were doing only to be disappointed in them by the lack of progress, the way Shigaraki made it sound… "I-Is it really that bad if one of our frie―c-classmates were to discover us?"
Images of the incident within the library quickly flashed through her. That declaration about no matter the circumstances, no one here was an ally, but rather enemies destined to kill each other…just thinking about that was making her skin crawl up in horror.
Was Shigaraki truly on the same wavelength as the Heir on that topic?
"It's not like I was saying that because I believe in what Togami said" Almost as if reading her thoughts, Shigaraki answered her unspoken worries "But let me put an example on why is still a risk: Say that the person who discovers us is Hiro, then the next morning meeting in the dining hall comes…what do you think the chances are of him slipping something out at some point? If he were to do so in such a place…well, I think that's pretty self-explanatory, isn't it?"
"…Oh" Chihiro couldn't help wincing before giving Shigaraki a reluctant nod. The golden-eyed teenager, unsurprisingly, made a good point. Even if neither of them thought of their classmates as adversaries or agents of the mastermind, not confiding these secrets because they simply weren't reliable when it came to keeping such information confidential was a whole different ordeal.
They aren't bad people, but…most of them certainly lean more onto the louder side, there's no point denying that.
"Glad to see we resolved that" Seeing that they reached an agreement, Shigaraki continued "With that being said, that only leaves us with nighttime as the only period of time in which the chances of avoiding unwanted visitors are the highest. Preferably past midnight just so we can be on the safer side" Then he turned to face Programmer with an inquisitive look "Fujisaki, do you think yourself capable of adjusting your sleep schedule? By that, I mean beginning to go to sleep early so you could work late at night for the following days without a problem. Are there any issues with that?"
"Huh? Well…I don't think that would be a problem" Chihiro said, at least this time managing some confidence within her voice "As the Ultimate Programmer it isn't rare to pull all-nighters because of clients asking for last-minute changes at the code in the programs they request"
Shigaraki gave a nod of understanding "Good. Just in case though, I would prefer if you still adapted to a new sleeping schedule. I do not doubt that what you told me is indeed part of your skillset, but it would be preferable to have you at your hundred percent for this, don't you think?"
A small part of Chihiro's subconscious wanted to feel bitter at the raven-haired teenager's words, as if Shigaraki was looking down on her with such claims, but considering that what they were dealing with, she knew that embracing such emotion was the peak of pettiness "When you put it like that…I guess I have to"
"Mhm, so besides what I've told you so far, there's something else. I want you to pick up your tools just a pair of minutes before midnight, two or three minutes beforehand should be fine. And…I know that I have just told you to get ready at midnight, but under no circumstances you can leave your room until you heard the doorbell of your room ring three times"
Chihiro was admittedly tempted to raise her hands no different than a student about to ask her teacher a bunch of questions. Much to her relief though, she just went and rolled with what first come to mind "Um, why do we have to do all of that?... Ah! I-If you don't mind me asking, of course!"
Thankfully, Shigaraki didn't seemed bothered by it "When it comes to grabbing your tools until nighttime, that is because if you were to get them ready in plain daytime, I am sure Monokuma will notice it and immediately he will suspect something is up, perhaps even putting the pieces together of what is going on. On the other hand, I am confident you will have a window of opportunity to pick everything up and hid it with you within that timeframe I just told you"
As Shigaraki finished explaining that first half, the Programmer nodded in understanding "So…uh, what's the waiting at the doorbell three times about?"
"That will be a signal that will tell it is me who's knocking at your door…" Shigaraki paused for a moment with a thoughtful look "…Our classmates might not be our enemies, but that doesn't mean we can sleep on our duty. We don't have the luxury of turning away any precautions we can take against Monokuma and his schemes. You understand that, correct?"
"Uh-huh, I do…" She wasn't that enthusiastic about that part, as it also looked like they were distrusting their classmates…but Chihiro kept that to herself. Shigaraki was right, this was Monokuma they were talking about.
Underestimating the monochrome bear could be a fatal mistake.
"Good, while it would be ideal that we wouldn't require to do all this much, I do not doubt that this and more will be necessary. Speaking of which, there is one extra countermeasure that we will take"
Inevitably, that rose the curiosity within the Programmer "Huh? Something else?"
"Mhm," The raven-haired nodded "As I said before, even with all those cautions at our disposal, there isn't any assurance that they will be enough. I can't know when, but Monokuma will eventually notice our nocturnal escapades"
"O-Oh, I get what you mean…" She truly did, or at least now she does. Chihiro admittedly didn't thought half of the cautions Shigaraki was bringing up when she initially planned to bring the laptop with her…while mentally shaking her head as to not allow such depressing thoughts to gain any strength, the Programmer spoke up "So, um, about this extra measure…what will it be about?"
It was for a fraction of a second, but Chihiro could've sworn she saw Shigaraki show the earliest signs of a conflicted expression "If I am honest, I do not doubt that just me being here with you should be concerning enough for the Mastermind to already believe we are up to something" Hearing that made a wave of panic surge within the Programmer. Although before Chihiro could've made it known, Shigaraki quickly followed up "Which is precisely why we are going to show Monokuma what said something is…or at least he would believe as such"
Anxiety quickly morphed into confusion at hearing that "What do you mean by that, Shigaraki?"
"What I mean is that Monokuma will be upon us if he doesn't find by his own means a reason for you and me to suddenly spent time like this…much to our advantage though, and thanks to what you talked about yesterday, I have an idea of what could be our alibi"
Upon hearing that, Chihiro became admittedly delighted at the idea that she somehow contributed to Shigaraki's plan…at least that was the case until the full context of want he said registered to him.
…What she said yesterday? As far as she remembers, Chihiro spoke even less than what she already does that day. Besides, it had to be something that came up when Shigaraki was around while also being relatively relevant. Under this criterion, the only thing that comes to mind was―
I'm interested in getting a little stronger…
! ! !
…
…
…
…H-He…h-he couldn't mean that, r-right? "S-Shigaraki, by any chance…a-are you referring to what I said back at the pool backroom?"
"I am" Shigaraki confirmed, much to Chihiro's…truthfully speaking she didn't know what was she feeling right now when a million different sentiments were rapidly going through her head "I... admit that I haven't got the chance to see what does the storage room looks like, but if its half as good as Taka's claim, then finding the appropriate training clothes as to sell the lie shouldn't be a―"
"W-We can't!" On normal circumstances, Chihiro would have been ecstatic at the prospect of being part of such a scenario with Shigaraki, even going as far as daring to hope that perhaps rather than a performance, they would train together for real. But the moment he mentioned the changing of clothes… "I…I'm sorry, Shigaraki, b-but…I can't!"
Chihiro wasn't ready to come to light about That, she wanted to…but the Programmer simply wasn't ready to reveal that she was―
"Fujisaki, if this has something to do with you being a guy, I assure you that it is no problem for me" Those words were said in such a casual tone that it took Chihiro almost an entire minute to register its significance in her mind, and when they eventually did…
…
…
…
…W-W-What…?
One moment Chihiro was trying to come to terms with the inner demons that resided inside the Programmer's life, and the next…it was as if the entire world was crumbling down, with the Programmer's senses becoming number every time Shigaraki's declaration resounded with Chihiro's head, especially…that one word.
Shigaraki…he…
…He knew…
Shigaraki knew that Chihiro…he was a guy.
"…Y-You…w-wha…I…I-I…" Not only he was incapable of forming coherent responses, but he was also suddenly feeling like the oppressive walls surrounding him were too narrow, becoming more and more tinner with each passing second. Somewhere in between he recognized that the stuttering mess shifted into an incoherent cacophony of apologies and sobs as tears rolled down his eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that now.
S-Shigaraki, the…the person I've come to look up for…h-he's going to hate me! He's going to despise me too much to allow something like this to go unpunished! For being a liar, for…f-for hiding something who I truly was… Now that this is out, forget about working with him! He is going to tell everyone and…and, a-and―
A pair of firm and gloved hands gripped Chihiro's shoulders, startling him out of his despairful delusions.
Before he would ponder about what was going on, the owner of said hands spoke up "Fujisaki…look at me"
As if in a trance of sorts, the Programmer did as told. Slowly but surely, he shifted his head up while lamely wiping his tears away…for all good that was though, Chihiro couldn't help moving his gaze away in shame before he could get a look at the raven-haired teenager's expression.
"Don't do that, I want you to look at my eyes" Shigaraki said, a voice firm and authoritative, but without any ill intent behind it. However, even if that was the case…
Entire minutes passed in which Chihiro refused to bid on that request, stubborn to not face his most recent fear. Although…when he noticed that no matter how much time went by, and Shigaraki refused to let go or give any reproach for not doing as told, curiosity won over him and the Programmer eventually conceded.
There he saw the stern yet lacking in any animosity face of the golden-eyed teenager, and a glint of approval flickering in his orbs when they finally looked eye to eye "Good, now I want you to tell me…what do you see?"
"…H-Huh?"
"Right now, what do you see?" Not bothered in the slightest by how much of a burden Chihiro was being, the raven-haired repeated. That didn't make things any less confusing though.
Nevertheless, Chihiro replied with what first came to mind "I…I see you?"
Faster than what his thoughts could spiral him into a new wave of depression for giving such a dumb answer, Shigaraki nodded "Yeah, you are seeing me. Now tell me…who I am?"
If Shigaraki's plan was to calm down Chihiro's turmoil of negative emotions by confusing him to no end, he certainly was doing a superb job "…Uh…well…" Not wanting to waste Shigaraki's patience, he once again went with the first answer slipping out of his tongue "…Y-You are…Shizuka Shigaraki?"
"Technically true…" Shigaraki shrugged with what, if Chihiro didn't know any better, would've thought was some amusement in his body language "But let me redo the question…what is my talent, Fujisaki?"
Even if it was practically the less weird out of all questions so far, that one was the one that caught the Programmer off-guard the most. Not seeing the logic behind asking such a question 'Not like I saw any of that with the previous ones though…' but neither seeing the harm in answering as usual, he was about to give Shigaraki a response…only for the answer getting caught in his throat.
Shigaraki's talent…
…
…
…
"…You…you are the Ultimate Assassin" Was Chihiro's somber response.
Chihiro…he couldn't precisely say he forgot about the raven-haired teenager's talent, but the fog of admiration certainly clouded him from focusing on it…on what Shigaraki ultimately was.
Which was why now that Shigaraki had brought it up, Chihiro had a slight suspicion of where this was going.
He was sure his inner thoughts were easily identifiable through his grimacing expression, but regardless of that, Shigaraki gave a nod like that didn't matter and as if that answer wasn't that different from the rest "Mhm, with that being said, here's my final question…what right do I have to judge you when I have made decisions that have led to me being labeled the Ultimate Assassin?"
"What…?" He sort of saw it coming, and Chihiro was still nonetheless surprised when Shigaraki said that. There it was once again, his admission of a flaw…only this time to rebuke any doubt Chihiro could have about the raven-haired truly meaning what he said before this mess started. Although… "S-Shigaraki, even…even if you said that you have done so many great things for the group. With your strength, your intellect, you…you truly are amazing. Meanwhile, n-not only I have been a burden, but I've been deceiving our classmates this entire time, lying to every single one of them about who I truly am…"
I am a terrible person…
"Hmm, I suppose there isn't anything wrong with you looking out at my positive traits as standards to follow…" Before Chihiro could sign in 'victory' at finally making a rebuttal against him, Shigaraki swiftly replied back "…But that isn't contradictory with what I previously said. Positive traits or not, even if I wanted to look down on you for this trait of yours, which like I said before I don't, I am not in a position to mock you or anyone when my actions are in a far higher position to be rightfully critiqued. After all, you aren't harming anyone by wearing girl's clothes, meanwhile I…well, I don't believe I have to explain further about that, do I?"
Chihiro desperately tried to look for any kind of deception within those words, a hint of malice, anything to not believe in what he was saying and ignore his words of self-depreciation as nothing but a ploy.
Not only the Programmer couldn't see any of that. It was minimal, but there was a small speck of something within Shigaraki's voice that urged Chihiro to truly believe what he was saying.
…
"…Then…" With the caution of a puppy that has been kicked hundreds of times, Chihiro spoke "…Do you mean it? Really? That…that you don't hate me for lying about…about being a girl?"
"No" Without a hint of hesitation and a no-nonsense expression 'At least more so than his usual one',Shigaraki gave him a response "I don't hate you, Fujisaki"
Once hearing that, Chihiro didn't do anything other than stare at the individual in front of him, though somewhere along the way, he began to feel the trademark wetness of his tears. Only this time, he didn't felt particularly bad about letting these go, at least not that much.
He supposes that was the kind of effect tears out of happiness could have on someone.
"S-Shigaraki, I…I d-don't know what to say, I…" Truly, Chihiro was at a loss for words. So, recurring to the same strategy he had been following up so far, he allowed his feelings to speak for him "Thank you! This wasn't how I expected things to go, but still…this is more than what someone as weak as I could ask for. To have a friend of wonderful as you…once again, thank you, Shigaraki!"
As Chihiro relished in this recent series of fortunate events, a momentary surge of panic raised through him when he realized that he called Shigaraki his friend, which he truly means it! But…
Does he think the same?
W-Will he believe I am being too forward in our relationship…?
"Mhm, you are welcome" Much to his relief, Shigaraki didn't make a single attempt at correcting him. Does…does that mean that the golden-eyed teenager sees him like that too!? The raven-haired wasn't the type to miss a detail like that one, so… "Oh, and one more thing"
"Huh? W-What is it?" Oh no…was this the moment he will deny their friendship!?
"…Despite everything I've said so far, in the end, I can't know what is running through your head" Shigaraki began "However, let me make this clear: In your own way, you are strong Fujisaki. Perhaps you don't have any faith in it yet…but in the meantime, know that I do believe in its existence"
Once again surpassing his already high expectations, and incapable of thinking what other words of gratitude he could tell to the golden-eyed boy for such kind words, the Programmer did nothing more other than give a vigorous nod as more drops of salty water threatened to come out of his eyes.
Just like the raven-haired said, Chihiro didn't believed in being a strong person…at least not yet. But…with someone as awesome as Shigaraki depositing such faith and goodwill in him, well…
It was inevitable to have some hope, wasn't it?
"Shigaraki! I…oh right, hehe…goodbye!" Fujisaki cheerfully exclaimed with an enthusiastic wave before departing, most likely towards his dorms if he took my 'suggestions' seriously. All the while, I could notice there was a happy skip between his steps, which in part was good, as I doubt that Fujisaki right now looks like someone who was about to be part of a complot against Monokuma.
…
…Well, that went…I didn't end up in disaster, I suppose.
For everything to go as smoothly as it could have under these circumstances, I knew that I had to confront Fujisaki about his cross-dressing quirk. Which I certainly did, even if I know there was more to it than what we brought into today's discussion, and while I was aware that it wasn't going to be a walk in the park…I admit it was way more exhausting than I initially believed.
…
…
…
…In retrospect, it was…strange how did I managed to say all that stuff to the Programmer without much effort in the first place. Granted, I was being honest about not having an issue with him using girl's clothes, I do believe he was an essential piece on getting out of this place…without recurring to more drastic measures, that is, and I wasn't being sincere about everything. There was also the occasional lie here and there, like me being cautious only of Monokuma, or that I didn't believed any of our classmates was a potential enemy.
Although one thing was that, and a whole different ordeal was to convey things in such a supportive and encouraging way. If we were talking about her or Maki, I could understand…but for Fujisaki? Important or not for my plans, I never saw myself capable of showing such a degree of empathy for a one-on-one conversation with a stranger such as him.
…
And yet…there was also that last part, about my belief in his hidden strength. Usually, that would fall into the crap I would tell to someone so I can shut them up or maneuver things at my convenience. Surprisingly enough though, every word that came out of my mouth as I said all of that…didn't felt like a lie fabricated at the spur of the moment, but rather…there was this nostalgic feeling to it, almost as if…
…
…
…
…Whatever, what's done was done. There was a lot more stuff I wanted to talk with him about so as to make sure he could work on the laptop without any distractors nagging at his mind, but with how emotionally exhausted Fujisaki must have been right now, I supposed it could wait until tonight.
I know for a fact that with how emotionally investing dealing with Fujisaki was, such topics will eventually come up.
For now, I had been making her wait far more than I could've wanted to, as my meeting with Fujisaki took more than what I initially expected. So, I better get into it and catch up with her.
I only hope she is not mad at me for making her wait for this much…