June 1929

The car pulled up in front of the big oak doors and out stepped Tom, helping his wife down the step who cradled a beautiful baby boy in her arms, followed by Sybbie who wore a proud grin on her face as Lucy wrapped her free arm around her and hugged her tightly. Mary smiled warmly as she kissed Tom's cheek to greet him before repeating the motion to Lucy. As the Bransons joined the family in the Great Hall and shirked off their coats before entering the library, Mary instructed Andrew to bring in some tea.

She followed her family into the library, taking a seat next to her mother as Robert held Sean Branson in his arms for the first time.

"He's a beautiful boy, I doubt he gets that you from Tom." Robert joked.

Tom laughed.

"No, it's all Lucy. Maud believes he resembles Lucy's late father." The Irishman replied.

"Nanny is bringing the children down after tea, Sybbie has gone up to join them." Mary stated.

"How are they all?" Tom asked.

"They'll be pleased that you're staying for the week, they have missed Sybbie terribly." Mary replied.

"Will Nanny mind? Having an extra two children to care for this week?" Lucy asked worriedly.

"Of course not," Matthew reassured her, "I think she's missed having Sybbie around and little Sean will fit in perfectly with the twins."

"Besides, while the twins are still young we have an additional nursemaid to help around the nursery." Cora smiled.

Lucy seemed a little more relaxed as she looked over at Robert who was fawning over the baby boy. Mary noted how the new mother had a worried look in her eyes, as if she felt a little overwhelmed. It was a look that Mary recognised well. It was the same look that she often caught in her own eyes these days.

The conversations drifted; the topics changed frequently. Mary joined in with them where she could but spent most of the time staring out of the window. It wasn't until she heard the pounding of footsteps in the hall that she came out of her daydream and smiled as George, Charlie and Catherine wrapped their arms around her.

"Hello darlings." Mary greeted happily.

"Mama, can we go out and play? Nanny says we had to ask you." Charlie complained.

"I don't see why not." Mary smiled.

"The twins are napping Milady," Nanny replied, "And Master George, Master Charlie and Miss Catherine wanted to play on the lawn with Mr. Crawley."

"Okay," Matthew chuckled, "Let's go and find a ball. Sybbie, are you coming too?"

Sybbie nodded happily, running ahead of the group as Matthew stood up and held out his hands which George and Catherine took. Charlie ran after Sybbie, calling her name. After a few minutes, Mary got up and followed them outside. She stood in the doorway, watching the children through a ball to each other, with Matthew throwing the ball further and further each time it was passed to him. Just as she watched her husband say to her niece that it was her turn to catch it from him, Matthew threw the ball high over the little girl's head, coming in Mary's direction. Mary caught the ball and held it as her niece came running across the lawn to retrieve it.

"Sorry, Aunt Mary, I didn't-"

"Don't be silly darling." Mary smiled.

Sybbie smiled too, her blue eyes brightening. As they shared a lovely, quiet moment, a light wind blew in their direction, sending Sybbie's hair to fall in front of her face. Mary chuckled, tucking the chestnut locks behind her niece's ear and cupped the girl's face before retreating her hand. She smiled sadly, her mind going to that void and her sister's gliding figure.

"Aunt Mary? Why do you look sad?" Sybbie questioned.

Coming back to the present, Mary met her niece's worried stare.

"I'm sorry darling, I just got lost in thought." She answered.

"What about?"

"The older you get you remind me more of your mother."

Sybbie smiled warmly.

"Daddy says I look like her. What was she like?" her niece asked curiously.

Flashes of memories went through her mind, from the time that Sybil was a young girl to the time she was an adult. She remembered her sister's smile, her twinkling blue eyes, her soft voice and her goodness to see the best in everyone she met. She remembered the good deeds that Sybil had done throughout her short-lived life, how she was the best person she must possibly have known.

"She was beautiful, just like you. She was progressive, which scared Donk a little bit." Mary chuckled.

Sybbie gave a little laugh too.

"She helped those she thought deserved a little help, regardless of their station. Sybil was kind to the servants, she even helped a maid get a job as a secretary, taking her to interviews, organising interviews and lending her some clothes for interviews. She never had a bad word to say to about anyone. She fought for those that she loved, she fought for your father and the love they shared. Your mother had a good heart, and when I saw her hold you for the first time, I knew just how much love she would give you." Mary sighed happily.

"I wish I could've known her. Remembered her." Sybbie said quietly.

Mary cupped her niece's face and knelt to her level. She leaned forward, pressing her lips gently to the girl's forehead before pulling away.

"She would've been so proud of you." Mary promised.

Letting go of Sybbie, she handed back the ball and watched her niece run back over the lawn towards George, Charlie and Catherine to play. As she turned around to head back into the house, she came face-to-face with her brother-in-law.

"How are Lucy and Sean?" Mary asked.

"Sean is with the nurse alongside the twins, Lucy is having a lie down." Tom replied.

"How is she finding motherhood?"

"She's doing okay, sometimes I think she worries about Sean too much."

Mary raised an eyebrow.

"Where a mother's children are concerned, there is never too much worrying." Mary pointed out.

"Sometimes she seems a little distant. But she has a strong bond with Sean, and she adores Sybbie like she was her own daughter." Tom sighed.

Mary nodded her understanding. She knew what it was like to worry over a baby, even now the twins were four months old, she worried about them. Annabel was a happy, thriving baby. Her youngest daughter was gaining weight, was smiling and rolling over, making progress by learning new skills with every passing month. William was still a small, sickly baby. He always cried, he struggled to settle for hours on end and slept very little. She would hold her youngest son in her arms, looking down at him and wonder why he struggled to gain a steady weight as his sister had. She was still breastfeeding the twins here and there and would until they were weaned at six months. But the struggle was there.

"I heard you talking with Sybbie, it's lovely that you can see so much of Sybil in her." Tom said softly.

"She's her mother's mirror image in certain lights. She's like her in so many ways that I'm so glad that we still have that connection to her." Mary smiled.

"I always think of her, she was the first woman I ever loved, and we had a beautiful life together. For the short time that we were happy, I knew I was the luckiest man alive." Tom assured her.

"I know you do. But I know that she's watching over you, happy that you are happy again." Mary replied quietly.

Tom smiled, nodding his head. Mary smiled and headed back inside the house.

oOo

As she readied for bed that night, she caught Anna's pale expression in her vanity mirror. Frowning, Mary turned around and met her maid's gaze.

"Anna, is everything alright?" Mary questioned.

"I'm fine Milady, I'm just feeling a little…queasy…" Anna answered.

"Do you need to take some time off to rest?" Mary asked.

Anna shook her head.

"No Milady, I'll be fine…it comes natural when-"

Mary raised an eyebrow and let out a surprised gasp. Rising from her stool, she hugged her friend and then let go.

"How far along are you?"

"Dr. Clarkson estimates about six weeks. Mr Bates has already called Dr. Ryder and arranged an appointment for the procedure I had when I was pregnant with Johnny."

"Well, if there is anything that you need, please don't hesitate to ask me." Mary instructed.

"Thank you, Milady."

Anna curtsied and exited the bedroom and closed the door as Mary crossed the room to the bed, pulling back the sheets and climbed in. She heard a door open and quietly close as her husband joined her in the bedroom. Matthew discarded his robe on a chair and climbed in next to her.

"I saw you with Sybbie earlier, it looked like a nice talk." Matthew commented.

"I've missed her terribly. The older she gets, the more I'm reminded of Sybil." Mary yawned.

There was a moments pause until Matthew twisted his body so he was resting on his side, looking at her curiously.

"Mary…I know you haven't wanted to talk about it…but my mother and Cora have said that you said Sybil's name when you came round after you passed out birthing Annabel." Matthew said quietly.

She turned her head to her left, her eyes wide with surprise. In four months, she still hadn't confided in her husband of what she had seen during her minutes of unconsciousness. She didn't want to, for fear of sounding like she was going mad. She still wasn't sure that what she had seen had even been real or something her mind had made up to give her some relief from an exhausting and traumatising birth.

"I don't even remember." Mary lied.

"Whatever it is, darling, I will listen…" Matthew prompted.

She gulped, feeling fresh tears form in her eyes. Her heart began to race nervously in her chest, her breathing ragged. The fear of finally saying it out loud threatening to have her locked away for some mental disorder…

Matthew sat up, coaxing her with him as he softly told her to take some deep breaths, assuring her that he was there and that she was okay. Mary listened and followed his instructions, slowly breathing in and out until she was breathing normally and calmly.

"Please darling," Matthew pleaded, "What has been confusing you these past four months? I just want to understand."

"You wouldn't understand." Mary muttered, looking away from him.

"Mary-"

"Why can't you just leave it alone?" Mary snapped.

Matthew blinked, the look of hurt evident on his face as Mary looked back at him with a surge of annoyance following through her. She knew that he was worried about her since the twins were born. She knew that his pressing her to confide in him was coming from a good place. She knew that he wanted to help her wherever possible. But she feared that he might think she was mad, that she would need help from a professional and be institutionalised.

"Darling, whatever it is, you know that I'm not going to judge you. I've never judged you; I've never despised you. I've always tried to understand." Matthew whispered softly; his tone filled with a little sadness.

"I know," Mary agreed quietly, "I'm sorry."

She closed her eyes and felt him reach for her hand, giving it a light squeeze as he closed his around hers. She inhaled a breath shakily, trying to calm her racing, anxious heart. Mary knew that she was fortunate to have a husband who cared for her, who loved her enough to ensure she was well. She knew that she was fortunate enough to have a husband like Matthew who encouraged her, supported her, worried about her.

You're an idiot if you don't open up to him, you'll just be repeating past mistakes like the last time you had a secret you feared he would despise and judge you for.

Her mind was telling her that she needed to push past her fear, the first time in months that her mind would tell her that instead of making her question if she was crazy. Mary didn't know what prompted the change in her thoughts. Maybe it was her silent acknowledgement that Matthew was always there and maybe it was because he had reassured her and that was all she needed all along.

"What is it, Mary?" Matthew gently encouraged.

She exhaled shakily, opening her eyes to look at him directly.

"When I passed out…I didn't know where I was…I was in this white void, nothing was there…I didn't know if I was dead or alive, I wasn't sure what had happened…but then a figure was gliding toward me and when it came up close, it was Sybil." Mary confessed.

She looked at Matthew's face, filled with patience as he squeezed her hand to silently indicate that he was listening.

"It was only a brief encounter. She told me that she watched over us all, that I wasn't dying, and it wasn't my time yet. She told me that I needed to trust in my strength and bind it to my love for you and I would get through the birth. She told me to give Sybbie a kiss for her. I don't understand if it was just my mind providing me a few minutes of relief or if it was real." Mary explained.

Matthew nodded.

"So, you've been confused because you couldn't determine if what you saw during your moments of unconsciousness was real or not?" he asked quietly.

Mary nodded.

"I know it sounds mad; I feel like I'm going mad! The birth was…" she trailed off, she still found it difficult to tell herself the reality of how difficult the birth had been on her in all aspects it could be difficult.

She wasn't sure what expression she was expecting to appear on her husband's face, but the smile wasn't a reaction that she had been expecting.

"You think I'm mad, don't you?" Mary asked icily.

Matthew shook his head.

"No. I think it's a test of faith and strength when facing a difficult experience." He replied.

"I don't know if it was real, I'm struggling to understand it, Matthew." She sighed.

Mary felt him cup her cheek and gently bring her attention back to him. She looked into his eyes, her heart beating slower as she calmed from her anxiety. She felt idiotic now for ever feeling scared about confiding in him.

"Whatever you saw, whether it was Sybil or not, this is something you will have to accept and live with. Whether it was real or just something your mind created to comfort you and push you through a difficult birth…you're not mad, Mary. During difficult times, we often think of things, dream of things that get us through…" Matthew whispered.

"Did you ever have a similar experience?" Mary asked quietly.

He nodded, pulling her onto his lap as he sat up against the headboard.

"The war brought unimaginable horrors. Every time I was about to go into battle…I thought of Lavinia. During the years I was courting her and then…after I met Lavinia…when we made up…I thought of you often…" Matthew replied.

She gave him a small smile, her hands running absentmindedly through his hair.

"You'd have thought after nine years of marriage that I wouldn't be surprised anymore," Mary confessed, "And yet, you always do."

Matthew chuckled lightly, his hands resting on her hips as their foreheads touched.

"I want us to move forward together from this point on. Can you promise me to try?" he asked.

Mary nodded, leaning forward and pressing her lips to his. The kiss started off slowly, their arms wrapping around each other and held each other closely. Mary dipped her tongue into his mouth, teasing his tongue gently which caused a throaty groan into her mouth. His hands gripped her ribs tightly as hers ran through his hair as the kiss grew heated.

"God, Mary," Matthew groaned, his hands holding her as she grinded her hips into his, "Are you sure?"

Mary nodded, her hands moving from his hair to his neck, gently undoing the buttons of his nightshirt. Her lips pressed to his neck, kissing him hotly, smiling against his skin as his breathing hitched and she felt a hardness against her thigh. She shrugged the shirt from her husband's shoulders, helping it be rid from his arms and ran her hands up his bare back which caused him to shiver. His lips caught hers in a frenzied kiss as he bucked his hips against hers.

"Matthew…" she breathed heavily; her voice filled with want for him.

She felt his lips tease her neck ever so lightly, his hands moving to the hem of her nightdress and pulled it slowly up her body. She felt him chuck the dress over her shoulder, hearing it land somewhere on the floor behind them. She moaned as she felt her husband's hand reach for her underwear, sliding them as far as he could until she yelped in surprise, feeling herself being pushed backwards so that her head was at the foot of the bed. Matthew looked at her, his eyes filled with a heated lust as he pulled her knickers down her legs.

"I want to make this good for you," he stated hoarsely, "I want…our first time since…to be…"

Mary locked her legs around his hips, using her toes to tuck into the waistband of his trousers and underwear and began pushing them down his hips.

"Darling…I've missed you…" Mary whispered needily.

But Matthew didn't move into her waiting embrace. Instead, he shirked off the rest of his clothing and knelt between her legs, lifting her left calve onto his shoulder and placed a kiss to the inside of it as his left hand travelled a light, tickling path up her right leg, massaging her thigh before settling between her legs.

Mary grasped the bedsheets next to her as she felt his hand massage her, teasing in and out of her until his fingers curled inside her and thrusted gently. She moaned, turning her head to bite into the sheets as she lost herself to the sensation. Her hips bucked involuntarily when she felt his thumb circle her sensitive nub in time with his thrusts. She bit into the bedsheets harder, trying to stifle her vocal pleasure as much as she could.

"Mary," Matthew growled lustfully.

The pace he continued sent waves of pleasure coursing throughout her entire body. His fingers touched her so deeply, so lightly that she could only gasp into bitten bedsheets to stop herself from crying out his name so loudly. She had forgotten how much she had missed her husband's touch when they shared moments like this.

It had been months. The last time they had made love was before she had been put on bedrest during the last stages of her pregnancy. After birthing Annabel and William she had had a long recovery, it was only during her most recent examination with Dr. Clarkson that she had been cleared to resume marital relations.

She came with a muffled cry of her husband's name. As she calmed, she let go of the bedsheets and pulled her husband down on top of her, her hands cupping his face as she leaned her head up and kissed him fiercely. Matthew's hands ghosted along her belly before gently cupping her breasts and stroking lightly across the surface. Mary moaned into his mouth, locking her legs around his hips as their parts met.

Matthew released her mouth, propping himself up on his elbows as he looked down at her. Mary looked up at him, smiling as she saw the look of love in his eyes, a look that she considered herself lucky to have seen for such a long time. She bit her lip as he stroked her breasts teasingly, his hips slowly bucking so that his swollen member brushed against her nub, causing more pleasure to build within her body.

"Now, Matthew!" Mary pleaded.

"I want you relaxed when I do it…it's been so long…"

"I know!"

"I don't want it to be painful for you." Matthew said quietly.

Mary smiled, cupping his face in her hands and kissed him lightly. The fact that he cared about her pleasure and her experiences of their love making was one of the reasons why she loved him so much. He always wanted their time together to be about her enjoyment just as much as his. Matthew had always ensured that she felt joy and love ever since their wedding night but when she was desperate for him to join with her and he wanted her to wait a little longer, it made her impatient.

Impatient enough that she pressed her lips to his more fiercely, her hands going to his back side as she pushed her hips up and took him inside her, her hands keeping his backside firmly in place as she ground upwards, moaning loudly into his mouth as she took what she needed. Matthew released her lips, thrusting down as she thrusted up and growled hotly in her ear, his lips kissing her neck, gently nipping the skin as he felt her pulse thrum against his lips.

"Mary…" Matthew groaned in her ear, "We need to slow down…"

Mary let out a frustrated huff as Matthew moved his hands and lifted hers from his body, pinning them above her head as he slowed the rhythm of his hips. His new pace still hit a deep spot inside her body, which caused her to jolt and breath shakily from the pleasurable thrill he brought to her.

"Mary…I'm not using…anything," Matthew panted, "If we keep up…I'm going to spill inside you…and I don't want that…"

Mary groaned, lifting her legs to lock around his waist. She accepted her husband's eager kiss as he continued his thrusting pace into her. She moaned and moaned, enjoying that pulsing ache he pushed into her until she came for the second time crying out her husband's name. Her head was spinning, her toes curling as he thrust into her harder.

"You're so…beautiful," Matthew grunted, "I love you…"

"I love you too…" Mary gasped.

Their fingers locked together, their lips fused as Matthew's body stiffened and he withdrew from her, spilling his seed over her belly before collapsing on top of her. Mary released his hands, wrapping her arms around his neck as their breathing mingled together, a blissful sound that two lovers made together after reuniting during a separation. Their bodies were hot, mingled with sweat and their hearts pounding in unison against their chests.

She smiled when he propped himself up and kissed her forehead sweetly.

"Mmm, that was very nice." Mary whispered.

"How do you feel, my darling?" Matthew asked, nodding his agreement.

"Wonderful." Mary replied with a grin.

Matthew chuckled as he rolled off her. Together they scrambled under the sheets and held each other closely as they drifted off into a peaceful sleep.