E/N: Not canon, but whatever. Merry Christmas, you guys.
Christmas Omake
Jersey scowled as her bow smashed though a freezing arctic wave. It was an absolutely miserable night to be at sea. The scattered clouds were just enough to block any potentially pleasing view of the stars without providing even a shred of warmth. What an utter, unmitigatedly horrible way to spend Christmas day.
The battleship's scowl deepened as ice-cold spray splashed over her face and slicked her hair back against her freezing skull. Actually, she'd crossed the International Date Line a few hours ago, which meant she was technically steaming along on Christmas eve.
As if that was some-fucking-how better. She was still cold and miserable. Her stomach was grumbling at the distinct lack of fuel oil in her bunkers. Every time she hit a wave, the end of her sopping-wet ponytail slapped against her butt with a wet squelch. Her shorts were almost soaked though, and she just knew Crowning and Was were enjoying a warm dinner right about now.
Gah. So much for the Christmas Spirit.
"Hey, Jersey?" Ryuujou waved to the battleship, but her gaze was twisted in frustration as she fiddled with one of the… little… folded-paper thingies that somehow became a Zero when she did her magic shit.
"Yeah," said the battleship as she lazily pulled abreast of the little carrier. At least it was a distraction from being utterly bored and miserable. "What's up?"
"I had a, uh…" Ryuujou pulled at the collar of her outfit, "My elevator's jammed, I can't spot anything."
Jersey's scowl deepened to a full-out frown. "That so…" she growled. She folded her arms across her chest, grumbling under her breath at whatever asshole god ruled this little spec of ocean. "Please tell me you can fix it."
"I think so," said Ryuujou, hunching lower over scroll with her brows knitted in concentration. "But until I do, I can't launch planes, just recover them."
"The CAP's almost out of gas, isn't it?" said Jersey. It might have been phrased a question, but given the quality of her day thus far, the battleship was all but certain of the answer.
"Yeah," said Ryuujou, "Sorry, boss."
Jersey scowled and wiped her face with the least-damp part of her scarf. "'s not your fault," she said, peeling away to launch her own scout plane. It wasn't nearly as good as a Zero, or even a Val. But an extra pair of eyes in the sky would do wonders in spotting Abyssal submarines.
"Keep an eye out for santa for me!"
The battleship cracked a tiny grin. She was a battleship, the biggest, most mature class of warship ever put to sea, with the arguable exception of the big fleet carriers. She knew full well how utterly impossible it was for a single north-pole dwelling elf to deliver presents to every home in the world in a single day. Just the storage alone would be unimaginably vast. The science behind it just didn't make sense.
It didn't change the fact that unexplained presents had been showing up every Christmas since the Abyssals and Kanmusu emerged. Jersey didn't think she could complain about the implausibility, especially since she was a battleship who was also a pretty girl.
"Uh…" Fubuki pulled up alongside, her little ponytail all but encrusted in salt, "Jersey-Sempai?"
"Yo."
"I- I think I saw something," said the little destroyer, waving off to the far norther horizon, "Just inside radar range."
Jersey squinted, focusing her radars along the vector Fubuki was indicating. There was… definitely something there. A few somethings maybe, it looked like a capital ship escorted by a few contacts too indistinct to hold onto for long. "Yeah, I see it too."
Fubuki gulped, but she held her gun at the ready and set her face at a determined slant.
"Don't think they see us," said Jersey, closing her eyes to 'see' though her floatplane's observers. "Taking a closer look. Let's see if we can get the drop on them."
"Hai, Jersey-Sempai."
The lone kingfisher climbed high into the evening sky, its little engine fading into the soft rush of the wind as it broke off towards the distant radar contact. After a scant twenty-minutes in the air, the Abyssal taskforce was finally in view.
Only it wasn't Abyssal at all. Abyssals reeked of hatred, their twisted forms were malice personified. Ugly, twisted mockeries of once-proud ships.
But not this… this little taskforce radiated life and.. joy even.
A single carrier—a Yorktown. Jersey knew that silhouette by heart—formed the center of the formation. Eight—no, nine—destroyers were arrayed in a loose horseshoe around the carrier. And-
Jersey blinked.
And not only was the carrier wearing red-white-and-green dazzle camo, the lead destroyer was shining a brilliant crimson spotlight into the midnight gloom.
Jersey laughed, her mouth twisting up into a smile even she couldn't control.
"Jersey-sempai?" Fubuki clutched her turret even tighter, "wh-what is it?"
"'s nothing, kiddo," said Jersey between bouts of laughter. "Relax," she waved the destroyer down.
Turns out she was wrong. It was a perfect day to be at sea.
A Certain Lady Christmas Omake
By Old Iron
The sky was filled with dark, billowing clouds that coated the landscape with a half-foot deep blanket of snow. Some might find the weather dreary and depressing were it not for the laurels and boughs of holly decked all about. It was actually rather hard to find some place that wasn't getting into the season in some way, shape, or form. Even some of the grumpiest of individuals had given in to the holiday cheer and hung something festive on their door.
The myriad homes in USFAS' housing distict were just as varied in their decorations as their occupants, if they had any at the moment. Some had opted to share the holidays with friends or family off base and a few of the ship captains were having a grand time on their boats with the crews who hadn't taken any leave.
One home in particular stood out owing to the poorly painted candy-cane colored life-preserver hanging on the front door. It was covered in appropriately colored sparkles and with tinsel glued to the rope that wound about the frame of the former safety device. The phrase 'Merry Christmas' was painted around the circumference in sloppy lettering.
Richardson adjusted it one last time to make sure it hung properly on the door.
"And done." He stepped back to take in the entire front of the house and admire his handiwork. The lights running the length of the gutters were all lit up and finally not drooping. And the ones circling the windows had only taken two tries to get right. To top it all off, the bits of holly hanging from the light-strands were all staying in place.
"It looks beautiful." Mutsu piped up from his left. She was wearing a rather attractive looking getup suited for the season. A red skirt with white fluff lining the edges and matching top. A wide, black belt fastened by a silver buckle sat about her shapely hips and a short, red cape rested over her shoulders. The thigh-high stockings, black boots, and white gloves completed the look. Were it not for the fact the cold hardly bothered her, she might have donned a heavy coat to go outside.
"Yeah, it does. I'm just glad we could actually decorate the place this year." His tone held its usual ire, but he refrained from swearing. Just in case Jane was hiding nearby.
"Things were a little hectic last Christmas." She clasped her hands behind her back and looked up into the falling snow. "Supply problems. Constant deployments. The learning curve..."
"You and Hiei did just fine with what you had. Got a little banged up, but you still came home. Can't ask for much more than that, can I." Richardson crossed his arms. "We couldn't really celebrate it like I wanted, but what we had was better than nothing. Still, I would have liked Jane to not have Christmas dinner in the CIC."
"It was certainly better than not having it at all. Or all alone." She giggled before casting an amused expression towards her admiral. "My, my. But you are a demanding man."
"And you've known that for how long now? Since day one?" He cast a suspicious gaze towards his XO, who merely laughed jovially. With a resigned sigh he patted her on the back and ushered her forward. "Come on. They're probably wondering what's taking so long."
"I rather like it out here. But if you insist~"
"I do insist. I'm freaking freezing out here even with all this on."
The pair made their way inside, Richardson with a bit more haste than Mutsu. Even bundled up as he was, it still wasn't quite enough to stave off winter's frigid touch.
"It is going to burn."
"It'll be fine. Just a little bit more."
"I can see smoke."
"Mutsu, is it bad that I would like nothing more than to go back outside and pray I was unconcious?" The banter coming from the kitchen was not something one should ever be glad to hear. Even less so when it involved two battleships. One of whom was apparently taking her recently restored kitchen privelidges as an opportunity to experiment.
"...Only if you leave us behind." She sighed and shook her boots off. "I'll go see what I can do."
"You're a life saver. I'll go check on Jane and Jintsuu." Richardson ignored the yelp of shock that resulted when Mutsu entered the kitchen as he removed his winter coat and gloves. He would have left his boots on were it not for the fact he recalled just how much Jintsuu hated it when he did so. He'd remember it properly one of these days.
He trudged into the dining room to see his daughter and the sole light cruiser under his command flitting about the table, setting down tableware, cups, and various items in preparation for dinner. Jintsuu moved with considerably more grace than Jane and it proved quite useful when the latter got underfoot. He observed no less than four near misses before his presence was realized.
"Daddy! Are the lights all up?" Jane's cheery mood was contagious and she grinned even more widely when she saw her father crack a smile. Her festive attire made her look like she had attempted to wear a Christmas tree and he thought it was cute as could be. "No burns?"
"Nope. Besides, I was putting up lights, not cheap fireworks." You get what you pay for turned out to be painfully true last July. And he was not eager to have another trip to the ER. Especially now. He reached out and ruffled her short hair, glancing at Jintsuu for a moment. "How're things going in here?"
"We've almost finished setting the table. And... no doubt you heard about the ongoings in the kitchen." Jintsuu sighed as she placed a hand to her cheek. Much like Mutsu, she had opted to dress for the season and was even wearing something rather similar, albeit with a rather lovely shade of green instead. The cut and length she had chosen was also considerably more conservative and easy to move in than the battleship's. Well, Richardson thought they were similar.
"Unfortunately. I'm wondering if I should start regretting giving Hiei her priveliges back now or later." Hiei tried. She really did. But he had seen more casualties from her cooking than he saw survivors. By orders of magnitude. How the Emperor's Ship managed to pull that feat off was beyond him. "Need a hand?"
"You can go help bring the food in from the kitchen." Jane's commanding directive broadened his smile and elicited a giggle from Jintsuu. "Me and Jintsuu can finish up here."
"Jintsuu and I, Jane. How often have I told you that?" Jintsuu walked over to the father and daughter whilst gently rebuking the little girl.
"But it sounds silly..." Jane pouted as she shot the cruiser an disbelieving and irritated look.
"It's also correct. You don't hear Arizona or Mutsu speaking like that, do you?" She placed a gentle hand on Richardson's should and nodded towards the kitchen, which had become eerily silent. "We'll handle this. Please make sure they're all still alive in there."
He really wished she was joking.
"Alright. But if I'm not back in ten minutes, call the meds." Richardson ruffled Jane's hair once more before giving a resigned look to Jintsuu. "Once more, into the breach..."
The sight that greeted him was not one he expected in the slightest. No. In fact had he been asked exactly one thousand times, he would have answered the same way exactly one thousand times. Near dead silence save for the soft bubbling of sauce on the stove. His three battleships were standing around a plate containing some manner of food item. What, exactly, he was not certain at the moment.
Hiei stood there looking triumphant and imperious, her ovenmitt covered hands on her jeans covered hips and chest thrust out proudly. The eye-bending Christmas dazzle camo sweater was only partly concealed by the novelty 'Kiss the Admiral' apron that Mutsu had gotten him as a gag on his birthday.
Opposite her was Arizona, looking both baffled and stoic at the same time whilst chewing on what was likely a piece of whatever was on the plate. It was if she wasn't quite sure what to make of her current situation, something that had been thankfully falling off the more time she spent around others. Especially Jane. The sole American warship was wearing a simple red turtleneck that managed to be all-concealing while revealing... far more than she perhaps realized. The long blue dress-skirt had a similar effect and made Richardson believe Mutsu had a hand in dressing the dreadnought.
Mutsu's expression was the real winner however. Her face was colored in abject disbelief as she stared at the plate. The silverware in her hand looked to be mere moments from falling from her slackening grip.
"H-How?"
"I told you I could cook." Hiei's victorious tone was plainly obvious. "I've served even the Emperor. And there's no way he would have eaten anything less than the best."
"I... Do not understand. This was about to catch fire." Arizona seemed more confused about the apparent avoidance of a kitchen fire than the actual taste. She set down the fork she had used before continuing. "But it is delicious." And here she had been led to believe Hiei's cooking was nothing short of toxic runoff. At best.
"B-But it's never like this! You left poor Jintsuu bedridden for days." Mutsu's statement drew a cough from the fast battleship, who looked both put out and embarrassed at the same time.
"I might have tried something that didn't work out too well last time. I thought it tasted fine though..." She picked up a fork and took a bite of the plate's contents for herself. A hum of happiness escaped her as she popped the morsel in her mouth. It did certainly taste better than her usual attempts. But it was just as edible as everything else.
"Let me try." Richardson made his presence known as he picked up a spare untensil.
"Ah, Admiral-"
Richardson didn't catch Arizona's warning before he scooped up a bit of the apparently mysteriously delicious cooking and took a healthy bite. He would be the first to admit it was most absolutely amazing. How? He had not even the slightest clue. Did Hiei really make this? Really and truly?
"It's good. It's very good." Hiei seemed to be extraordinarily pleased with his words. "I'd even call it a Christmas Miracle."
"Hey! Now you're just making fun of me."
"I believe his praise is genuine, Hiei." Arizona's comment mollified Hiei, who went right back to her energetic self. Mutsu still seemed to be caught in a state of wonder.
"Alright. Enoguh playing around. Jane and Jintsuu have set the table and are waiting for us." Richardson shuckled before pointing at one of the food laden plates. "The troops must be fed, ladies!"
Christmas dinner was a joyous affair for all.
Jane and Arizona sat next to each other, with the former keeping the latter engaged in conversation. It was plain to see how out of her element the battleship was. But the smile on her face never once faltered.
Hiei took the seat opposite Arizona while Jintsuu took the one opposite Jane. Hiei's dinner was scrumptious beyond words. Something only Arizona did not have trouble believing. Jintsuu paled upon the revelation, but eventually settled into simply enjoying the meal and the company.
Mutsu opted to sit herself at the foot of the table and busied herself with lively teasing and banter when not attempting to figure out why none of them were fleeing from what had been put on their plates. Perhaps it was a miracle. Or perhaps Hiei had finally gotten it right this time. Somehow.
Admiral Richardson spent probably more time serving up plate after plate of food at the head of the table than engaging in talk. But he was still having fun, despite the look on his face. For once he was able to have everyone sit down at the table and just have a nice, fun dinner without having something hanging over their heads. The war was set aside for the evening and he could not be more thankful for the cheer that permitted.
They sat there, enjoying the food and the company for well over an hour. The merriment and smiles unending on a snowy Christmas Eve.
Unfortunately it eventually came time for the dinner to end.
With bellies full to bursting and tiredness setting in, it was decided that clearing the table and relaxing was probably a good choice of action.
Bit by bit, the table was emptied of dishes, cups, and what have you.
It was on his return trip to see if there was anything else he could take back to the kitchen, that Richardson collided with someone in the doorway. He steadied the both of them, more himself given he was heavier than only one of the house's current occupants, but steadied nonetheless.
A mischievous chuckle drew his attention to Jane seated back at the table.
"Hehe... Daddy, look up."
And he did.
And there, hanging aove the doorframe, was a sprig of mistletoe.