(OotP) CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Liam and Noel

Ellie left the Quidditch pitch at that, not having the heart to watch the rest of the game. She didn't linger in the common room, either, knowing perfectly well that she'd be accosted with questions and concern the moment everyone got back if she did. Instead, she climbed the girls' staircase, took a scalding hot shower, curled into bed, and closed her eyes.

But sleep didn't come.

She lay there, pretending to sleep but unable to, for the next twenty hours. Her roommates came and went. A time or two, she thought she might have heard Fred's voice in her head, checking on her. But it was faint enough that it could have been her imagination.

With every second that passed, her insides churned with that same bubbling feeling of her shield being right on the cusp of use. It itched to protect her—but from what? From everything? From everyone?

Finally, the sun rose in the sky, and Ellie decided that enough was enough. She wasn't hungry or thirsty; she didn't need anything at all. But she'd be damned if she'd let herself miss the D.A. meeting.

She was the first one there, but not long after she arrived, Liam did.

"Wow," he said when he saw her. "You look rough. Everything okay?"

She laughed at that question—actually laughed—though it sounded so manic, it hardly qualified.

"Right," he said, reddening. "The game yesterday. Sorry about that. Shit luck, eh?"

Was that what it was—shit luck? It felt more like karma.

"You know," Liam said, "it seems kind of silly to mention, my barely knowing you and all, but my brother Noel is in the wizarding music biz."

She shot him a sarcastic look at that. "Liam and Noel?"

He chuckled. "Dad's Muggle-born, and a bit musically obsessed. Hence Noel turning out the way he did."

"Right." Ellie was trying her hardest to be polite, but she wasn't sure she was up for pleasantries. "Well, that's… nice."

"What I mean to say is, Noel's mentioned you to me before. Your band, I mean. That bloke you dated a few years back—the one who plays for Puddlemere United now? Guess he sent a demo of your stuff to my brother's label this summer, and Noel liked what he heard."

Her mouth fell open in disbelief. Ellie hadn't spoken to Oliver in over a year. They still exchanged the occasional letter, but he had never mentioned anything about this.

"Probably a long shot, I reckon, you being in school and Umbridge being who she is and all," continued Liam, "but you just seem so down lately, I thought it might do the trick of cheering you up."

What, exactly, did he mean by "it?" Was he suggesting that she and the Weasleys run off to record music with his brother's label?

"Just… think about it," Liam said. "I can set something up if you decide you'd like to meet."

"Th… thanks," Ellie stammered when she realized she hadn't said any actual words to him in several minutes. "I will."

The rest of the D.A. started trickling in at that point. Without being told to, the group split themselves again—two thirds with Harry, and one third with Ellie. Ellie waited in silence as Harry announced to his group that they'd be working on Patronus Charms.

"We might want to rejoin the herd for today," Ellie told her group. "I've never mastered this one."

"I have," said Liam. "I don't mind helping."

"I bet you don't," muttered a voice from several bodies behind them. Ellie had a feeling it was either Fred or George, but exercised a tremendous amount of will power not to check as she nodded to Liam.

"They say to think about your happiest memory," Liam told the group, "but I think it's a bit more complicated than that. It has to be a loud memory—one that filled you not only with positivity, but also with purpose. A moment that you felt… strong."

Ellie, who had spent far too much time in her own memories as of late, wasn't looking forward to searching for a new one. Still, his words excited her. She had always searched for memories with her father, or with Fred. But those were small moments—sweet tidbits.

She thought of the first time she had ever faced Lord Voldemort—back in her first year. Quirrell had struck her with the Killing Curse—had had every intention of killing her—but her shield had saved her, and she had come back at him stronger than ever, striking him with Petrificus Totalus and running the stone out to Fred.

Fred…

She couldn't let her mind go there. As much as it broke her heart to admit it, memories of Fred no longer made her happy.

So she focused on the feeling of power, rather than the memory of Fred, and performed the spell.

It wasn't full-bodied, but it was better than she had ever done before.

"Good," said Liam, nodding. Around her, everyone else seemed to have experienced similarly positive results. "Try again. Another memory. Even stronger."

Her thoughts flashed to her second year—down in the Chamber of Secrets. She thought of the way her shield had protected her from the bite of the basilisk, and how she had fought off Tom Riddle in her dog form long enough for Harry to slay the beast. But she didn't stop there. On and on her memories flew—to the night she had saved Hagrid from going to Azkaban; to the night she had saved Buckbeak from being beheaded; to the night she had saved those Muggles from being tortured by Death Eaters.

"Expecto Patronum!" she shouted, and just in time.

As the great, silver dog emerged from the tip of her wand, the memories of the graveyard finally crept back in.

"Did you hear the news?" Ginny asked Ellie as they headed back to the Gryffindor common room. They were supposed to all go separately, but Ginny must have wanted to catch up with her.

"Which news?" asked a glum Ellie, who had sunk even deeper back into the recesses of her worst memories as soon as the spell had been cast.

"About the team. After you left, and Gryffindor won, Harry and the twins got into a fight with Malfoy and his cronies. Umbridge kicked them off the team, banned them for life, and confiscated their brooms."

Ellie slowed to a stop, turning to face Ginny with wide eyes. "Really?"

Ginny nodded. "They're lucky it ended there, really. Harry and George took the news okay, but Fred really lost it on Umbridge. I thought for a minute there she was sure to expel him."

The word echoed in Ellie's mind over and over again, ricocheting around as if taunting her. Expel.

What would she do if Fred was expelled? How could she possibly begin to cope?

Which, of course, brought her to an even more dreadful train of thought… Even if he didn't get expelled, how was she supposed to cope without him in less than a year?

"Terrible news, obviously," Ginny continued, "but there's a bit of good news, too. I've been made Seeker in Harry's place."

Ellie tried her hardest to smile at her friend. She was happy for her; Ginny loved Quidditch every bit as much as she loved her band, which they had all but forgotten about since the graveyard.

And that was when it hit her—the one thing that could still save them. The one thing they would have even after Fred left, whether it be tomorrow or next year.

"Ginny," she said. "Fancy getting that bass guitar out for another spin?"

"I don't get it," Harry said to Ellie the following day as they walked to Care of Magical Creatures class. Hagrid had returned a few nights ago, and it was to be his first class since his return. "With everything that's going on, you really want to bring the rock band thing back into the picture?"

Ginny must have told him about her request to start the band back up. Ellie didn't mind. "Liam's brother works for a record company. I want to go and see him. See if maybe we can get some sort of record deal."

"Fat chance of Umbridge allowing that," said Ron rather blatantly.

"Hang on," said Hermione, sounding confused. "Who's Liam?"

"That pretty boy Hufflepuff bloke," Ron explained to her. "From the D.A."

"Don't call him that," Ellie snapped. Her tone seemed to make all three of them shrink back in fear. She hadn't meant to come on so strong, but she hadn't heard Ron call anyone "pretty boy" since Cedric was alive, and she didn't appreciate the recycled nickname.

"Sorry," Ron muttered as they closed in on Hagrid's hut.

"Whoa," breathed Harry when he spotted the same thing Ellie did: a paddock full of thestrals, the strange, winged creatures they had seen pulling the carriages on their first day back at Hogwarts.

"Makes sense you can see 'em, Harry," Hagrid said with a nod as he stepped forward to start the class. "Show of hands, then—who else can see 'em? Ellie, righ'? Yeah—that's what I thought."

Ellie glanced curiously around at the rest of her classmates. Neville, too, had raised his hand, along with Theodore Nott in Slytherin.

"Righ'," said Hagrid again, nodding. "Well, I'll cut to it, then—you four aren't crazy, and yeh aren't seein' things. Yeh're seein' thestrals—creatures that can only be seen by folks who have seen death."

It made perfect sense, Ellie realized as a small breath of air escaped her. It explained why Fred had been able to see something that his own twin hadn't.

Instinctively, her mind tried to find its way into his—to share the news with him—news she knew he would immediately share with his twin.

But then she remembered that he had taken his potion—that he had blocked her out.

That she would never be able to enter his thoughts again.

That evening, Ellie returned to Umbridge's office for the first of her new week's worth of detentions.

She was strong enough now, she knew, to keep the woman out of her head. She had practiced enough. She was ready.

And yet, when she found herself looking into the tip of the woman's wand, she experienced the strange sensation of not actually wanting to keep her out.

It wasn't that she wanted Umbridge in her head; it was simply that she had stopped caring. What did it matter who saw them or who forced her to see them? All her life was now was memories. There was no escaping them.

So, instead, she closed her eyes and let Umbridge back in.

Their first five sessions had only gotten so far—starting with the morning of the Quidditch World Cup and ending with the point in their relationship where Cedric was still trying to convince Ellie to date him.

Today, though, was the day she'd said yes—the day she'd announced to the school, directly following a performance of I'm in Love With My Guitar, that she wanted to be with him.

Why do it then? Umbridge asked in her head. Directly following a song you had so clearly written about Fred?

Because of Aleks, Ellie told her in an exhausted, detached tone. I've told you this before.

Had Aleks heard the song before? Would he have known the difference if you sang something else?

You're right. She didn't the point in denying it. I sang the song for Fred's sake. As an apology.

An apology? You mean, for choosing Cedric over him?

Yes. Because I was being forced to.

And how did Cedric feel about that?

He didn't know.

Right. Because, like so much else, you were keeping it from him.

Umbridge moved on at that, leading Ellie past the official get-together and into the start of the relationship. Cedric, of course, was over the moon, and treated her with nothing but sweet, tender affection.

He had it bad, Umbridge said in her head. The poor thing. Was it like this all along?

It was harder now—harder to tell herself that she was numb to the pain of these memories—with Cedric looking at her like that. Somehow, in all the pain and anguish she had caused him toward the end of their relationship, she had nearly forgotten how much happiness she had brought him early on.

Stop, she pleaded.

And with that single word, she was catapulted out of the memory.

"Impressive," said Umbridge when they were both back in the office. "Have you been practicing Occlumency, or did I simply get that far under your skin?"

"Please, Professor." She didn't know why she was trying to reason with a woman she knew lacked a single shroud of humanity, but she didn't know what else to do. "I'm sorry about what happened at the game. I didn't mean to activate my shield. If there was only a different way for you to punish me—"

"Occlumency is a choice," Umbridge interrupted firmly. "Your shield may not be, but your kicking me out of your head was."

"I never meant to hurt them." Ellie hated the way her voice sounded—desperate and weak. "Cedric or Fred. I only ever wanted to keep them both safe."

Umbridge laughed at that—actually laughed. "Safe! Is that what you call sneaking into an off-limits event and ruining Diggory's chances of winning the Cup?"

"Aleks was threatening to kill them," Ellie insisted. "Harry and Cedric. I didn't have a choice."

"And Fred? Did you have a choice in dragging him along with you?"

"He insisted. I begged him not to."

"Ah, yes—of course, he did." Another chuckle. "Quite the security detail you've accumulated over the years, isn't it? Filled with all of these young men trying so desperately to keep you safe? I wonder what you promised them, though, in return?"

That was it, Ellie decided. Enough was enough. The mental torture was one thing, but this? Shaming Ellie out loud, to her face, about her ex-boyfriends, like some sort of petty high school girl?

"How about I put it this way?" Ellie asked in a stronger, darker voice than she had used before. "You can't get into my head. You aren't strong enough. And you aren't strong enough to hurt me physically, either. So, the way I see it, you can either pretend this is a normal detention where you have me scrub cauldrons or write lines or polish your hideous cat china, or you can expel me."

Jesus, El. Sexy as that was, I feel the need to ask what the hell you think you're doing.

Apparently her Occlumency against Fred had faded.

There was no point in answering him. She couldn't put thoughts into his head anymore.

Ellie was fairly certain she was going to be expelled. What did it matter, really, at this point? At least this way, she'd be beating the twins to the punch. Maybe she could go back to 12 Grimmauld Place and spend more time with her father. That wouldn't be so bad.

But, to her amazement, Umbridge only let out another chuckle and then said, "Come back tomorrow. That should give me suitable time to find a new punishment."

It's a dangerous game Ellie's dipping her toes into... What, exactly, do we think Umbridge will come up with to torture her next? And what are our thoughts on this whole music situation with Liam's brother? Stay tuned to find out, and don't forget to review and follow if you're enjoying the story!