Chapter 14 – Can't Contain It

"Finally!" Dawn blurted as she popped up from the couch. "Sorry Anya, continue." Anya was helping the potentials through demon studies in the living room. Dawn thought it'd be worthwhile to join at least until Buffy & Spike returned, which should have been an hour ago if they left at sunset… Dawn poked her head into the dining room where Willow sat doing more research; Xander had tried to help but was passed out on a book. "Hey they're back!" she said excited and loud enough to wake Xander. Then went to open the door.

"I'm awake" He jolted, "Who's got a hairy back?"

"Our super people are back from Evil Incorporated." Willow clarified as she got up to stretch, yawning in the process.

"Oh," was all Xander could say before he yawned himself.

Dawn opened the door as Buffy came up the walk, Spike was not far behind. "Hey Dawn." Buffy greeted with a short hug "Miss me?"

"Eh, I think I missed Spike more." Dawn teased.

"I heard that." Spike announced, as he made it to the doorway "See, I told you she likes me more."

"Sure she does," Buffy handed her bag to Dawn "The files and amulet are in my bag, Spike can get you started. I gotta use the restroom, be right back." Buffy scurried up the stairs to her room to change and freshen up, hopefully she didn't have any grass or leaves in her hair… She hadn't directly asked Spike about that…

"So is Angel still not breathing, or did you two finally duke it out?" Dawn asked.

"He's still undead." Spike replied as he closed the door and followed Dawn into the dining room "I had to behave with big sis around." Then he looked to Dawn "You mind fetching me some blood little bit?" with a nod Dawn handed off the bag to Spike and headed for the kitchen.

"Don't tell me she went all gaga over her ex?" Xander asked tuning into the conversation.

"Na, slayer did fine," Spike couldn't help but smile a little. "Angel's still got his bloody soul." Then he pulled the files and the amulet out of the bag placing them on the table.

"What's with the smile?" Xander asked wary "You're creepin me out?"

Shit, keep it together mate, you can't tell them anything or Buffy would kill you... or at least never shag you again. "Nothin, just for as much of a wanker he is, he's got some good mates down there."

"I remember, had to go help them re-soul Angel a month or so ago." Willow supplied "Isn't that Fred just adorable? And so smart!"

"Yeah, she's a peach. Worked with her on a project."

Willow looked around for a moment, making sure her girlfriend wasn't snooping then said quieter "If I hadn't just started dating Kennedy I would have been all over her." Willow nearly blushed in her confession.

"Contrary to what her name suggests I don't think she's a muff diver Red." Willows eyes widened at the comment while Xander just sat confused thinking about the term "And I hate to tell ya, but I think that bird is spoken for."

"It, uh, it didn't look like she was seeing someone?"

"You didn't see it?" Spike asked, her face stayed puzzled "Wes is head over heels for her, just waiting for her to bloody see it. He insists on doing his research in her lab cause he claims they help each other. Which they do, but still, they're one song away from a good shag."

"What? One song?"

"If they'd just sing for that Lorne fellow he could tell them straight up how they feel."

"Oh, yeah isn't that so weird? How he can read your future? I don't suppose either of you sang for him?"

"Oh, muff diver!" Xander interrupted finally figuring out what the phrase meant, clearly a little too loud, and not so appropriate as Dawn walked back in the room. Quickly Xander searched for a new topic. "So, uh, how's Cordy doing?" Xander asked trying to seem casual.

"She's uh," Spike paused, not sure how to put it, then took a seat at the table "Not doing so well mate." Xander's face changed from hopeful to confused "She's in a mystical coma of sorts, nothins worked to pull her out of it yet, even with all their new resources."

"Poor Cordelia." Was all Willow could muster to say, then she started flipping through the file from Wolfram & Hart.

"She's in as good of hands as she can be, they may all be at evil incorporated, but they're still good folks." Dawn handed Spike a mug, then took a seat at the table herself, he drank a bit from the warm mug then added "You know, for now."

"So that rock gonna save our skins?" Dawn asked anxiously.

Spike nodded "Fred included a whole breakdown on what it is, said that may help ya figure out how to use it. And Wes threw in it's whole mystical history for you nibblet." Dawn perked up and walked over to Willow. "He was quite impressed with your ideas."

"Cool." Dawn grabbed a small handful of papers from the pile that were paper clipped together with a note that said 'History' "This it?" she asked holding it up to Spike

"Should be, Wes put his number somewhere in there if ya got questions."

"Great, cause we still have no clue when or if Giles is coming back."

"He stays gone much longer he's gonna miss the whole apocalypse." Xander added.

"So, me and the Slayer miss much?"

"Na, Kennedy led a few workouts and Anya & Andrew have been helping them study up on demons and magic basics." Xander supplied "Which reminds me they should probably all be getting to bed" he headed for the living room but stated before he left them "Yup, we all survived without our super-people for a day. But a small part of me was hoping something horrible would happen then I could say a big 'I told you so' for leaving us super-less." Then he stepped out.

"Hey I was here," Willow refuted, "had a protection spell ready and everything."

"You had to use one?" Buffy asked as she entered the room, donning some sweatpants and an old Sunnydale High gym shirt. Spike smiled God she looks brilliant in anything. Then he was reminded of his company and swept the smile from his face.

"Nope, just had one ready in case the FIRST got wind of your trip." Willow explained "Spike was just filling us in on some of your fun."

"I have anything left to tell?" Buffy asked, with a clear double meaning to Spike.

"Plenty luv. I just handed um the files and bragged about Angel's crew a bit, and how ya know they aren't actually evil."

"Ah," Buffy replied, just glad he kept his mouth shut about them like he promised. She continued to cross the room and took the empty seat next to Spike. Xander walked back in taking a seat across from Buffy.

"You know, it doesn't mention um by name." Dawn interjected "But I think this amulet was conceived by the guardians."

"Okay, my little sister does not need to be using that word, just say made or created please."

"It literally says conceived." Dawn argued pointing to the file in front of her "Besides, sounds smarter than 'made'." She mocked.

Buffy rolled her eyes and looked to Spike "Have you met my know-it-all little sister?" Spike just smiled and laughed, a very odd sound for all but Dawn and Buffy to hear.

Xander leaned across the table toward Buffy "What'd they do to him in LA? He's smiling, and laughing, it's creeping me out."

"They didn't do anything to him Xander, I think he just missed Angel."

"Oi, I did not!"

"You're saying you didn't enjoy calling him a wanker, ponce, nancyboy, gramps, or any other colorful label you came up with?" She recited, counting each name on her hand as she said them.

"Na, your right. That was a bit of fun." He conceded as a smile returned to his face.

Buffy rolled her eyes again, but kept a smile on her face too, then turned her attention to Willow, remembering the current threat. "So Wil, what'd'ya need to know about the amulet?"

"Well, Wes & Fred laid it all out pretty well, I just gotta compare my notes and see if it'll all work. They mention anything that isn't in the files?"

"Well Westley wasn't too keen on us not using it like the texts suggests. Through a champion and all, but we're pretty sure that's when Spike and I got all crispy in the other dimensions, so I'd rather not."

"We're not gonna let you burn Buffy." Willow reassured "Just cause the books don't say so doesn't mean we can't."

"Yeah, there've been plenty of times we've found a loop-hole," Xander supplied "Anyone remember a certin rocket launcher that make Judge go boom?"

"Now that was ballsy, wish I could have seen it."

"I was pretty cool, he didn't know what it was and Angelus and Drusilla were running away with an 'oh shit' look on their faces." Xander laughed as Spike joined in.

"Didn't he ask what the sodding thing did just before he blew up?" Spike asked.

"Yup" Xander responded laughing "he was all 'What's that do?' then boom! Bite size Judge pieces."

"Boys?" Buffy interrupted, they both stopped laughing and looked at her "As much as I love the manly bonding, can we stay on topic so I can maybe get some sleep tonight?"

"We weren't bonding, I hate him." Xander refuted.

Spike was about to concur with the boy but a look from Buffy shut them both up. "Thank you."

Another hour or so passed as the gang discussed the spell and the plan a few times over, making tweaks and rising questions on exactly how it would all work. Dawn was the first to call it quits for the night, grabbing the dishes she could off the table and heading for the kitchen, Spike got up and grabbed the few cups she couldn't and went to the kitchen to help her. Xander took that opportunity to head to bed himself, saying a quick goodnight and went to plop on the living room couch. Then Buffy and Willow got up from the table, Buffy popped her head in the kitchen to say a quick goodnight to Spike & Dawn then headed up the stairs with Willow.

"Wil?" Buffy asked as they reached the top of the stairs, her friend looked to her. "Can I talk to you, alone for a minute, or more?" She motioned to her room.

Confused Willow followed her in and shut the door quietly behind them. "What's on your mind?" she asked as she took a seat next to her on her bed.

"Well some other stuff happened in LA, and I didn't want to tell the group just yet, but if I don't tell someone I'm just gonna burst and…"

"Just tell me."

Buffy took a deep breath, still not sure how to phrase it "Well you know how we make choices, and some are good, and some are not so good and some seem exactly right and perfect at the time but then you get back to your real life and you realize why your brain was saying no when it was happening. And I really wanna tell you about the secrete this time cause you're my best friend and it was really dumb for us not to talk about our problems last year and…"

"Buffy!" she exclaimed quietly, as to not wake the house, and grabbed a hold of her friend "What happened in LA? Did they do something to you there? Did you and Angel almost…"

"No, I mean not really, 'they' didn't do anything, I just…" Buffy took a deep breath then finally confessed, "I kissed Spike, like really kissed him." Willow wasn't terribly shocked by the confession, not like they hadn't done worse. "And may have also I told him that I loved him." Willow eyes got wide.

After Spike heard the friends clear the top of the stairs he couldn't contain it anymore, just Dawn and him in the kitchen, now was his chance to brag. "So little bit, you really miss me more than big sis?"

Dawn laughed a little "I don't know, you know I just said that to get a rise out of her." She surmised as she started to wash the small pile of dishes.

"Oh come on, you know I'm more fun." Spike teased as he sat up on the kitchen counter towel in hand.

"Yeah, and you're the only one who doesn't treat me like a porcelain doll." She handed him a plate to dry.

Spike accepted the plate and as he wiped it dry he asked "I thought big sis was getting better at that?"

"Better, but I'm still her little sister." She handed him another plate "So, what all did you really do in LA? You were there a whole day, to just talk about the amulet the whole time?"

"Na that meeting only went till noon or so, & I missed most of it, Buffy let me sleep. After lunch, Buffy trained a bit with Angel, who has apparently gotten soft pushing papers." Dawn giggled a little "And I helped Fred & Wes with a project."

"What kinda project was that?" she handed him the last plate, but before she could grab the last mug to clean Spike answered her question honestly.

"Making me a slayer." Dawn froze, then slowly turned to look at Spike, he face started to shift from shock to confusion "Yeah pet, they think they can replicate the ritual to create the first slayer. So by using my own demon, and the blood of a mora demon and possibly your sis's help, I'll be human, but have the strength of a demon."

"But why?" she asked still flabbergasted at the idea.

"Why did I get my bloody soul back? Why does a man do what he mustn't?" Dawn realized she was dumb to ask "For her, to be her's." Spike smiled to himself, trying to find the best way to tell her the greatest part of the whole trip.

"I suppose that's all you've really wanted for a while now." Dawn was still confused, but it did make more sense. She grabbed for the mug.

"Since I bloody saw her, I've wanted her, just didn't see it was love till couple years ago." Dawn handed him the clean mug, "So if you could give ol'Wes a ring in the morning, to see when they're commin that'd be great."

Dawn started to drain the sink "Wait what? Tomorrow?" She grabbed the towel from Spike to dry her hands "You're becoming a non-vampire-super-human tomorrow?"

"Wes & Fred said they'd come in the morning, just haven't figured a reason to explain why there coming."

"Wait so Buffy doesn't even know about this?"

"No, and I was hopin to keep it hush hush until it's done. So if you can keep her out of it if we don't need her, or convince her it's part of the sunshine spell that'd be brilliant."

Dawn was still plenty confused, but a small spark went off in her brain to help explain it all. She leaned back against the island across from Spike and crossed her arms "If this spell works, you're golden." She muttered as she recalled their conversation from a few days ago. "This was her big hang-up on not admitting it and letting you two happen."

"That's right pet." Spike plastered a smile to his face as he came up with his next words "But the thing is, the spell ain't gonna change a bleeding thing now," Dawns moment of clarity faded and was back to total confusion, especially because he was still smiling "I don't want her to change her mind now that she's said she loves me." Dawn's mouth began to gape open.

"But you two, you've never been on that level exactly, so why now? What's changed?" Willow asked.

"I mean Lorne said I loved Spike and told me to just go for it and Angel said Lorne's always right so I did and I mean it doesn't feel wrong…"

"Buffy," Willow interrupted "Where is this all coming from? Cause last I checked you two were never gonna happen. And need I remind you of the Angel break-up? Why is Spike going to be any different in the end?"

"Part of me is definitely aware of that Wil. What if this all is wrong and I'm just doomed to be heartbroken over a vampire all over again?"

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Willow trying to wrap her head around her friend's lack of logic, and Buffy trying to find a way to explain herself. "So, you figured this out during your trip?"

"Yeah, sang for Lorne, he didn't see any guy but Spike in my future. Then told me I could make us both way happier if I just gave into the passion."

"Isn't that what we're told not to do as teens?"

"Right," Buffy laughed a little "But we aren't teens anymore."

"Maybe not, but this dating vampires isn't good for you."

"What if he wasn't a vampire, but still strong? Like a boy-slayer or something?"

"Buffy, your placing hope where there isn't any."

"But there was one dimension where Spike and I were married and had kids, so he was human."

"We don't know what dimension that was, that could have been an all human dimension, no demons or vampires. And human you two just ended up together." Willow was desperately trying to stop her friend's hopes before they hurt her.

"No, cause if it was that dimension, Spike & I wouldn't both be alive in the same time period, he'd be dead long before I was born." Buffy refuted.

"All I'm trying to say is, I don't think it's healthy for you to be going through this again, and Spike won't be the one to walk away when the time comes. And that's just gonna make you be the one to hurt him, which will just hurt you more… and…" Willow covered one of Buffy's hands with hers "I just don't wanna see you get hurt Buffy."

"You're telling me she actually said it?" Dawn clarified "She said I love you? Like with her mouth?"

"Well we did make out a little before and after she said it, so yeah."

"Holy crap?!" Dawn was thrown, she didn't think Buffy would ever admit it "Why? You say something that finally took?"

"Wasn't me pet. She sang for Lorne, and he said deep down she was in love with me. Then Angel said Lorne's always right, and then Angel pretty much gave us his blessing. So if this spell works like it should, I'll be around permanent like you and I both want little bit."

"Sounds good to me." She said excitedly with a grin now plastered to her face.

"There is one catch pigeon."

"Oh, come on!" she whined, then asked "What is it?"

"Can't tell anyone about us, not till Buffy does. She promised me I could tell you but wanted to keep it quiet until after the current apocalypse."

"Oh, that's all. Ehh, sounds like Buffy." She shrugged, still giddy at the news "But I can tell Buffy how happy I am for you two?"

"By all means nibblet, convince big sis she made the right choice. Without spilling about the spell mind you." He raised an eyebrow to affirm he was serious.

"Of course." She assured, then remembered how late it was "So, you sleeping up or down?"

"I think down would be best, trying to keep us a secrete and all doesn't work when I'm in Buffy's room in the morning." He explained as he hopped off the counter.

"True, well goodnight Spike." She swooped in to give him a quick fierce hug, if it was anyone else Spike would have shoved them off, and possibly punched um out. But the soft spot he had for Dawn allowed her such privileges.

He returned the hug, and kissed the top of her head and said a sweet "Goodnight little bit." Then Spike headed for his basement cot, and Dawn slunked up the stairs. She was almost to her room when Buffy's door opened and Willow stepped out. Dawn turned around and asked "She still up?"

"Not for long, we should all be getting to bed Dawnie." Willow whispered.

"I just had a quick question I wanna ask before I forget." Willow shrugged and went on to her room while Dawn nudged Buffy's door open. "Buffy?"

"Dawn?" She replied, turning her lights back on "What's up, why aren't you asleep yet?"

"I was chatting with Spike."

"Of course you were, about what pray-tell?"

"What do you think?"

"I think he couldn't keep his trap shut for one night."

"Can you blame him? He is so excited! And dam'it, I am too!" Dawn lunged in to hug her sister. Buffy was thrown, this was a very different conversation than the one she just had with Willow. Not completely unexpected reaction from her little sister, but still. Dawn pulled back from the hug and sat on the bed beside her. "You finally let your heart speak for once, and made someone you love insanely happy."

"You have a point anytime soon Dawn?"

"Sorry I'll let you get to sleep. I just wanted to say I think you did the right thing, and I'm really happy for you two." She hugged her sister one more time then left the room. Buffy clicked the lights off again and laid down to sleep.