I figured that you guys deserve a sneak peak at the rewrite.
Snippet of rewritten Chapter 3
Upon stepping through the glass doors, I was bombarded by a deafening buzz; the amount of clattering feet and indistinguishable speech from the sea of people reached concert levels. An escalator leading up and to the right was near the entrance. It was the only one in this section of the mall, and had been deactivated. Hardly a problem, as that effectively made them stairs. There was an actual staircase by the elevators, but I didn't bother with them as they would've taken longer. The second floor was much quieter and had less people wandering around. Most of said people were movie goers who were using either the stairs, elevators, or escalators to arrive at the Silver City on the third floor. Once at the top of my escalator, I pulled a u-turn and passed the Fresh Slice and vehicle accessory store as I headed for the arcade. My eyes then settled on the nearest of its two entrances, a tall wide opening with panes of glass on either side that were secured to shin high walls covered in blue tiles. Above was a detailed mural depicting various videogames, and neon swirls bookended three red letters with '90's flame jobs jutting out their left sides. A row of racing machines were visible. Two of them were blasting eurobeat and the sounds of revving engines and screeching tires as two guys went head-to-head. As I drew closer, a gray wall with a large window and four small circular windows grabbed my attention. These windows held figma of anime characters both in and out of boxes with some Gundum models for good measure. An elongated mental Wait... accompanied furrowed brows
as a revelation began to form. My gaze became intently glued to the outside of the store. Mere seconds later, I came to a stop at its entrance. Above the wide doorway, safely secured to a curved surface, was the word 'Sakura' in a red stylized font with a shadow light. Below it was 'media' in a typical black font. A cardboard cut-out stood to the left, next to the doorway, and failed at obscuring a theft detector. The cut-out was of a young woman with short teal hair and red eyes wearing a white body suit with stripes of black. Her left arm hung at her side while her right was held against her abdomen with her hand wrapped around her left elbow. The chest plate conformed to the shape of her breasts, and above that were the digits '00'. Two stout white triangles poked out through her hair. I knew that I'd seen this character somewhere before, but I couldn't for the life of me remember who she was or what show she was from. Beyond the cut-out and rather close to the entrance were two parallel lines of shelves. They held numerous books and were positioned adjacent to the doorway. Anime covered the back wall. The service counter was on the right just inside the entrance.
Funnily enough, I had tried to find this exact store the previous summer. My modest quest began one evening a few days after my sister had moved into an apartment a block away from the mall, and I searched for it in-between a bout of upset stomach and throwing up my massive dinner of sushi and pizza. For whatever stupid reason, I had failed both to find it on the mall directory and consider checking the mall's second floor. Then again, it was probably because my concentration was being hampered by an unpleasantly wrenched gut. In addition, I had passed through here many times as a child and yet failed to notice it. Interesting how that works.
I spent the next ten seconds standing there, trying to decide whether or not to go in, before setting foot in the store. The shelves were my first stop. A collection of spines reading 'Spice and Wolf' spurred me to place a finger atop one and tip it into my grasp. It was one of the light novels, brand new and wrapped in plastic. I'd heard great things
and it's anime adaptation, but had yet to check it out. Sliding the book back into its spot on the shelf, I continued to peruse and then moved to the wall of figurines and models for a quick look. All that stuck out were One Piece K-On, and Gundum, and I wasn't interesting in any of those. The back wall was where I spent the most time, scanning through the titles in rows from bottom to top for anything familiar or interesting. Familiar of Zero, Soul Eater, the Cowboy Bebop series and the movie, numerous stages of Initial D, Inuyasha, Baccano, Eden of the East, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Kanon, Kaze No Stigma, various Studio Ghibli films, the list went on. However, the cheapest one on the rack was First Stage for twenty-nine ninety-nine, and I was broke and a patron of the mall for a different purpose. Feeling let down, I returned an ever elusive copy of the Disappearance movie to the rack, sighed, and then turned to walk out of the store. I'd officially had my fill of window shopping.
Snippet of Original for comparison.
I entered the mall and climbed the deactivated escalator to the second floor. The mall was buzzing with activity; movie goers were climbing the stairs to the Silver City on the third floor, shoppers wondered around as they purchased things like food and clothing, and the arcade was filled with a majority of Asian teenagers looking for their videogame fix. As I walked towards the arcade, I noticed a store call 'Sakura Media.' It was an Anime store, and one that I had tried to find the previous summer. For some odd reason, it had never occurred to me to check the mall's second floor. Then there were the many times I had walked past it as a child and didn't notice it. Interesting how that works.
I stood there for about ten seconds, trying to decide whether to go in or not, before setting foot into the store. I glanced at the Gandum models, scanned the shelves of manga, and went through the anime one by one. I recognized a number of the anime, such as 'The Girl Who Leapt Through Time,' 'Kanon,' and 'Initial D.' I then left the store and headed for the arcade, not wanting to waste a lot of time window shopping.