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Chapter 9
Castiel had reappeared in the Impala, clutching his clothes, and gasping for breath, trying to stop the sobs, but they came anyway. His eyes burned and he pressed his face into his beloved coat. It was always there. It would be there when Dean wasn't, because Sam took him away again. There was a knock on the window, and Castiel looked up, expecting to see Dean. Did he come to tell Cass that he didn't care about Sam, to come back inside with him, that Sam would have to deal with it? But no, it was Sam. He looked upset and flustered.
"Cass, are you okay?" Sam opened the driver's side door.
Castiel took a deep breath and turned away from the younger Winchester brother. He did not want to talk to Sam right now.
"Oh, come on, talk to me!" When Castiel didn't reply, Sam slammed the door shut, and Castiel thought he had left. But then the passenger door opened and he squeezed inside beside Castiel.
"Tell me why you're upset," Sam said, still unnerved by the crying angel. He didn't even know that angels could cry.
"Because Dean is upset." Castiel finally said.
"Because I freaked out? Wouldn't you freak out, too? I still don't understand how this happened." Sam leaned back into the seat. "Maybe you could explain to me. I'm not going anywhere."
"There is nothing to explain. I love Dean." Castiel said simply. Castiel decided not to tell him about the mating season; it didn't really seem important right now. And as long as Dean loved him, what would it matter? And he really didn't want to talk to Sam about that anyway.
"Yeah, but how did it start? I haven't been gone too long."
"Well, I was about to die, so I told Dean the truth about how I felt, and he.."
"Wait, how were you going to die?" Sam sat up, interested. What had happened when he was gone?
"We trapped Raphael to ask him about God, and there was a chance he would kill me. Dean wanted to bring me to a strip club, but I said no. And then he said if there was anything I wanted to do before I died, I should do it. So I told him how I felt. At first, he was surprised, and he brought me to a bar anyway, and it seemed like he ignored everything I said. And I felt hurt, so I went back to where we were going to trap Raphael."
Sam nodded; yeah, that was Dean, running away from anything that had to do with feelings.
"And then he was drunk, and he said things that upset me. He left again, and when he came back, he told me that he liked me, and he didn't want me to die, because he didn't know what he would do without me."
"Dean said that?" Sam said skeptically, staring up at the light that was on in their motel room. That did not sound like his brother at all.
"Yes, and he said many more nice things like that, but he was still confused. But yesterday, I drove the Impala, and we ate pies, and listened to songs about darling angels on the radio. It was like in my dreams." Castiel looked at Sam, his eyes dry now. "Ever since I brought your brother from Hell, I felt a connection, but I've never been able to tell him before. And when I finally did, I knew there was one thing that could tear us apart, and I was right. It's you, Sam. Dean puts you above everyone else, and he'll push me down to do it. So he has done it now. To spare your feelings, he has hurt mine. And I don't know if things will be the same when you're around. He will always put you first, and that's not fair to him, or me."
Sam sat in stunned silence. Castiel was right. He could sense that Cass was telling the truth about his feelings for Dean, but he never thought about what he said about Dean putting him first. Dean would be miserable, and so would Cass. What did it matter to him anyway? Wasn't it better then Dean banging some random chick, and then leaving her? It was more the shock of walking in on his brother and friend then anything else. Didn't he want Dean to be happy after all the crap he's gone through? It was just overwhelming after everything he had gone through lately with the hunters and everything else to find out suddenly that Dean and Cass were together now.
"I'm sorry, Castiel. I didn't realize. It was just too much for me right now. I'll talk to him though, and make sure that he knows I don't care."
Castiel smiled. "I understand, Sam. And I appreciate your blessing."
"It's just, we're so protective of each other, but I know you're good for it, Castiel. I know you won't break his heart."
Sam chuckled. "I know people think it's crazy, how we look out for one another, but it does feel nice to know someone is always watching out for you."
Sam opened the door and got out, but Castiel grabbed his arm and looked at him. "I hope you did not take what I said the wrong way. I am happy to see that you're okay, Sam."
"Thanks, Cass. It's nice to see some familiar faces." Sam shut the door behind him, and headed back to the motel room to talk to Dean. He felt horrible about what Cass had said, and he wanted to make it right, because he never wanted to see an angel cry again. It was just too weird.
Aww, Castiel opened up to Sam. Soon, mating season will be explained, I promise.
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