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Chapter 11

"So, are you gonna do it now, or.." Sam questioned, looking sideways at his brother. He really didn't want to walk in on them again.

Dean gave Sam a disgusted look. "Sam, give me some dignity, please. I want to talk to him first, and if there really is no way..then..." Dean sighed. "Where is he?"

"The motel on Roundtree Avenue. Room 132. It's like two blocks from here."

Dean nodded, and held his head high, trying not to feel like he was walking the walk of shame. He wished Sam did not know about any of this, but it was too late for that now. There were some things that should not be talked about, and banging an angel was one of them.

"I'll just hang out in town, I guess. I'll get a different room when I come back." Sam said awkwardly. He wasn't going to take any chances of getting his eyes burned out.

"Alright, enough. No more talking about this." Dean turned away. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah." Sam watched his brother walk down the street and felt a strange feeling come over him. For once, Dean was facing his problems instead of running away. Was his brother finally becoming more mature?

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"Cass?" Dean knocked on the door of room 132. "You in there?"

"I'm here." Castiel appeared behind him, and he jumped.

"I told you to stop doing that." Dean said wearily. He was getting tired of talking to Castiel about this.

"But I like doing it." Castiel opened the door to the room, and they went in.

"Yeah, well, I don't." Dean avoided the beds and sat at the little table in the room.

"You are upset." A frown creased Castiel's forehead as he stood watching Dean.

"Damn right I'm upset. You just throw this on me, when I told you I needed time, and you tell me that you need to mate and have a kid. In the human world, it doesn't happen like that." Dean shook his head.

"I am sorry, Dean." Castiel looked upset. "I wish I had told you sooner, but you don't make it easy. I was afraid to tell you. And I don't want to do this either, not like this, but I can't control it, no matter how much I want to."

"Is there a chance that a child won't be conceived?" Dean looked at Castiel hopefully. Maybe there was a chance...

"No. All angels are fertile. There will be a child." Castiel squeezed his hands together. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Castiel. I don't blame you." Dean couldn't be mad any longer, not when Castiel looked this upset. Dean felt sorry for the angel, who looked as if he was struggling with some internal fight and losing. He knew Cass felt horrible, and he looked like he needed comfort. Dean stood, and reached his arms out and Castiel fell into them, feeling the now familiar comfort of Dean. "It's just really sudden, and with everything else going on...and then there's a slight chance the kid might be whisked off to Heaven."

He held Castiel tightly, and he had a flashback of the first time he had held him like that, when Castiel was so upset the night before they summoned Raphael.

"I wish that we could do this when we were ready, but the pull is so strong. And it gets worse as time goes. And when you're not here. I almost followed you, but I didn't want you to be mad at me. I just need you so badly Dean. I can't stand to be apart from you." Castiel laid his head on Dean's shoulder, and tried to control the feelings of lust and want that were rising inside him now that Dean was here, trying to control them for Dean's sake.

"Cass, how was it before you found me? With the mating seasons, I mean." Dean asked. He had been wondering that while him and Sam were talking. Was Castiel love-crazy then, too, or was he just a normal angel because he didn't find a mate?

"I stood by and watched the other angels find mates, but I did not feel that pull. I thought I was not meant for a mate. It is rare, but such occurrences do happen. That was torture, in a way too. I was alone for a long time. You don't know how happy I was when I found you, Dean. When I first touched you, I felt like I was finally complete, like a piece of me had been gone, but I didn't know. But I was afraid to tell you, so I watched you and came when you called, hoping that one day something would happen and we would miraculously be together. Like a miracle." Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and pressed his face into his coat. "I'm sorry."

Dean stroked Castiel's hair and thought about that. He supposed he had felt that way, too when they had first kissed. He knew Castiel would always be there for him, would die for him. And that reassured him. It wasn't like any other relationships he had been in before. Castiel knew everything about his life, and accepted it. Nobody else had been able to do that. The few people that he did tell about his life had either thought he was crazy, or that he was lying. And that ruined the relationships. But Castiel was different. Not because he was an angel, but because he trusted Dean, believed in him, and would be there by his side whenever he needed help. So if Cass needed him to do this, shouldn't he? Cass had helped them so many times, had done whatever they asked of him. What did they ever do for him in return. Plus, he really did want to bang Cass right now.

Dean gripped Castiel's chin and tipped it up gently. Blue eyes met hazel for a moment before Dean pressed his lips against the angel's. Castiel placed a hand on either side of Dean's face, pressing into him like his life depended on it.

Then Castiel pulled away, panting for breath, trying to stop himself. "Dean, are you sure? I can control myself for a little longer if you need more time..."

Dean smiled at the angel. "Castiel, I love you. You might be able to control yourself, but I can't."

Castiel frowned, tilting his head a bit like he did whenever he was confused. "But I thought you didn't want to..."

"Shut up, Cass. Just shut up." Dean kissed the angel again, and this time Cass let go and released everything he had been trying to hold back, and it was a relief.

"Should we try this again?" Dean grinned as he untied Castiel's trench-coat and pulled it off, throwing it to the ground. Whatever happened would happen, and there was no rule to say that he couldn't enjoy this now. He was tingling with anticipation now, and the look in the angel's eyes only made him more excited.

"Yes." Castiel grabbed Dean's jacket and shirt, ripping them off.

"I'm ready to repent all my sins to you, Cass. Are you ready to receive them?" Dean whispered, remembering what the angel had said before. He kind of liked it; it made him feel dirty and clean at the same time.

Castiel nodded, his blue eyes shining with excitement and desire, and Dean gently pushed him down onto the soft bed.

"Sam will not bother us this time?" Castiel looked suddenly towards the door. If Sam came in again, he was sure that Dean would leave again.

"No, he convinced me not to walk away and to do this with you. But I know now that I always wanted to do this with you, and I really didn't need that much convincing." Dean stroked Cass's cheek softly. "You know I love you, that you're my darling angel?"

"Yes, and you are mine." Castiel moaned softly as Dean pressed his face into Castiel's neck and kissed the soft skin there, then ripping off the angel's shirt and tie and kissing his bare chest, too.

Castiel flicked a hand toward the radio, and Metallica came on, playing softly in the background, and Dean smiled at Cass before kissing him again. He had to admit, the angel knew him like nobody else did.

Castiel and Dean entered their own heaven, full of pleasure and each other, and Dean was glad that he did not run away.

Yay! Dean finally banged his angel!

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