In Episode 4 there wasn't much to decide, the following quotes made me laugh or touched me deeply and I needed to write about them. P.S. Thank you all very much for your kind Reviews and I hope you enjoy this next piece.

Catherine: No... no I just... I'm just peeing.

Joe: Just throw in the damn ball.

Catherine:

Crap, did I just said that out loud? Is there any filter between my brain and my Mouth? He's gentlemen enough not to respond to that, he just smiles and throws the ball back in the field. With a nod he turns around and disappears between the trees. On my way back I think of all the excuses that would have been so much better than 'I'm peeing'. But focus Catherine, time to end this stupid practice. Under the pretext of getting something to drink I enlighten my phone, acting like I just got a message and a few minutes later we're on our way. There is not much left to do when we arrive at the crime scene so Tess goes home while I call the Hospital. Vincent clearly was good in his former Job, with his instructions they could sent him straight into surgery, saving that boys life. How he can not see how good he is, I don't understand. Most of the people would have simply call for an ambulance, but not Vincent. He brought him straight in himself and gave them the diagnosis they needed to get to work. But all he ever saw when he looked himself was the Beast.

Catherine: Understand that I am a Cop. I put people like you away.

Vincent: You try to decide if I belong in a cage.

Vincent:

My breathing came in short gasps as I made my way back to the warehouse, my eyes had become a little bit watery. I shouldn't have trusted her, I shouldn't! I thanked God that J.T. wasn't at home when I ran through the door and slammed it shut behind me. Slowly sliding down on the wall I tried to understand what had happened, tried to breathe through this upsetting emotions. My whole body hummed in a strange way. I had been so concerned for her the last night, unsure if she was safe and if she could handle the threats, the danger and the pressure of Muirfield. I wanted to be there for her, be by her side and also give her space so I stayed on the top of her fire escape watching out, the whole night. The next evening I searched for her again. I had been so stupid. But one day and the encounter with Muirfield had turned her view on me. I heard the things they told and showed her, they sounded even more unspeakable and horrible out of her mouth. I couldn't deny them so I tried to explain it to her, tell her that the Guy was about to rape a woman, but she just wouldn't listen. She took a fearful step back in the second I came closer and I wanted to vomit. I couldn't stand this look on her face, the way her eyes are fearfully watched my every movement. She was afraid of me, finally. But it saddens me that I did nothing to deserve it. It wasn't one of my Changes that she witnessed, it was because someone had told her Stories. Just the seed of Muirfields evil Idea of me and it had fallen on fertile ground, in just one damn night their stories had changed the way she looks at me. Had turned us from a woman and a man to a cop and a murder.

What hurt the most was not only that she now knew I was a Killer, a killer was human. No, the way she looked at me now was painful for me, like she finally sees that Creature everyone was talking about, for the first time. Like I was beyond all hope. A person she would normally 'put away', as she said. She used the word people but her eyes said something else. Killer. Monster. Animal. She could as well take me behind the barn and put me out of my misery. All the hope inside me evaporated. I should have listened to J.T., if we only had stayed hidden in the darkness. Knowing, how she had talked and laughed with me, the memories of the way she had looked at me was tormenting me now. I could have lived my miserably existence with dignity if I hadn't get to know how it felt to mean something to someone. I wanted her to look behind my Sins. I had tasted from forbidden apple and now I was punished for my wishes, for my hope and greediness. I let myself suffer in the sharp shards of my crushed illusion, in the lies I had told myself. One night I let myself grief the small chance of a Live I could have had and then in the dark morning hours, I put myself back together. I took a shower, buried my feelings in a place deep down inside of me an started to think out a plan. A plan how to end this all. I took the burden of my existence back and off their shoulders. So they could live again...

J.T. : No, known him my whole life, I mean it freaks me out when he's like that but he'd never hurt me.

Catherine : How do you know?

J.T. : I just know.

Catherine:

The deep Conviction in his words confirmed my own Feelings. That night in the woods I had never been afraid of him. Back then, I knew he would never harm me. What had changed? Why had I felt this uneasy around him yesterday? Maybe the Images and the words had been to fresh in my mind. I had been so shocked and confused and didn't had time to wrap my head around all the People, all the victims. I doubted that he would kill them on purpose but I also didn't really know how much control he had in his beastly rage. I had wanted to talk to him this evening, sort things out and apologize. But now this reaction to the Situation? I had been concerned for him before but this time it was different. He was voluntary giving himself back into their cruel hands and I guessed it was partly because of me. Just seconds after my phone call with J.T. I felt ill. The look in his eyes yesterday should have told me everything. My words had hurt him deeply. I hadn't thought he would react this drastic. Getting our life's back his note said, but on what cost? Letting himself get caught, likely tortured and surely killed was probably his idea of redemption. And I had been the last push he had needed. I wanted to slap myself.

We arrived there at the last seconds and the scene was very hard to look at. All these armed men and Vincent in Chains. Chains. Like the Animal he saw in himself at last, thanks to me. What had I done to this kind man with just a few words? He knew what he was but I had made him feel even worse about his situation. Let him feel hopeless. I shouted his name, tried to get his attention, reminding him of the young boy who was still alive just because of him. And hoped it worked. But it was them shooting at me, what got him out if this stupor. I was proud of him, fighting for his freedom, taking his life back and by the way he saved me again. We saved each other. When the Muirfield agents were finally defeated, he told me to go. To look after the boy. In that moment I vowed to myself that I would always be honest with him. He should never think again that I was afraid of him. I would always remind him of all the Kindness he had in him, all the Courage and that he was more than his DNA.