Okay before we start I have to say that the 7th episode really haunted me. I had some scenes picked out that spoke to me but threw them all away by the end of the Episode. The final scene really messed me up, brought me close to tears and there wasn't a question any more about what to write. I even wrote the scene in two perspectives. I hope you're all still with me cause here it is.

J.T. : If you need to go into dark tunnels with this guy alone... you're going to need this!

Vincent:

I take the weapon from J.T. thankful that she didn't reach for it. I didn't need another reminder for what I was. That little things tell me, that her saying she isn't afraid of me is the truth. That she trusts me and it makes me feel like I'm 10 feet tall.

Last night, all I could think about were her words and this almost Kiss. That was the real reason behind my late night walk. I had paced around in the warehouse, completely worked up. Nothing could take the edge off. And so I decided to jump. I was on my way to her, to do it, to finally kiss her. But than the Black out happened. When I stood under that spray of hot water, watching that crimson drops wash down my body I wanted to punch something. For the first time in years I felt hope and now the truth of my existence showed his ugly face again. Like it had waited for me to be happy so it could drag me back into the darkness where I belong.

Hearing later that I attacked J.T. shocked me to my core. I had never thought I would really hurt my friend but I had. Which meat Catherine wasn't safe either. It was like a wrecking ball to all my plans. I had to cancel our weekend and confessed that maybe I was the murder she searched for. She didn't believed a second that I did it, but I wasn't so sure. I had no memory and if I were in Beast mode, anything could have happened. After an hour of waiting, it turned out that the blood doesn't matched. Thank God, I didn't think I could've handled any more blood on my hands. The Faces of my victims were haunting me any way. I wanted to be good. Good for her, I wanted to deserve her.

And so I helped her when she needed me, even when it's about that British Bastard. That one Person I despised so much, the Guy that kissed my girl before I haven't had a chance or the gut to. I really didn't't like that she is so attached to him but that's not something I could change. He is her Friend and he is important to her, so I swallowed down my manly pride and followed her down in the veins of this City. While we made our way through the dirty Tunnels I tried to focus, so maybe I could just scare that psycho off or have enough control to just wound him, if this gets ugly. I attempt to explain it to Cat when the first wave of nausea hits me. Oh no please. My vision gets foggy. Not now. I tell her, warn her but she doesn't want to take the gun. But she needs it. I beg her to take it. I hope she shoots me, please I don't want to hurt anyone or even worse, you. My last coherent thoughts before it gets dark, are about her. Run, please run Catherine...

Catherine : Look, Vincent was my only hope of saving Evan. So I took a chance.

J.T. : You may have saved Evan, but you didn't think about the Price that Vincent would pay.

Catherine:

I had waited a few days. Got myself back together. When I got the call from J.T., saying he was home and safe I felt unbelievable Relief. A few minutes prior I had been in the full blow of a panic attack. After his Call I tried to go back to normal, tried to cover him and Vincent while also keeping a close look on Evan. But than I couldn't take it any more. I needed to thank him, needed to see with my own eyes that he was alright. Tell him that I missed him. I was hopeful on my way over, but the look in J.T.'s face was like an ice bucket. Something was wrong, very wrong. He asked why I didn't shoot and I tried to explain. But he looked at me so angry and disappointed it made my skin crawl. Something horrifying had happened, but nothing could have prepared me for the moment he walked over and opened that old elevator.

In my whole life I will never forget the sight of Vincent in that made up Cage. He looked crushed, ashamed, so tired. Back was the self hatred. And then I realized that I had done this to him. I let that happen because of my fear for Evan. I could have prevented this, but I hadn't stopped him when I had to, when he needed me to. I fully knew what would happen and put Evans life before Vincent. I had a second to make a decision and I chose wrong. I had betrayed his trust. I had saved my Friend but J.T. was right, I hadn't thought a second about its price. And now Vincent was paying for it in the most horrible way. Locking himself up like the animal he had always thought he was. How long had he been in there? It looked like the Life had been sucked out of his eyes, hopelessness came in waves from him. He took the whole blame for this, without a single thought. And it looked, like was ready to live the rest of his life behind that bares, just to save us all from the danger he held within.

I stepped closer, desperately wanting to touch him, to make it right, but it was hard for him to even look at me. He told me I shouldn't be here, his voice barely more than a whisper. I know he don't wanted me to see him like this. But maybe I had needed this because now I understood. He wasn't living like that just because of Muirfield, he was because of the Danger of himself. He looked like a shell of the Man I almost kissed yesterday. I had to hold back my tears, they wouldn't help now. I wanted to get him out but then J.T. told me about the trigger. They thought it was me. I was the key to his black outs, he told me. And J.T. showed me with one look that in his eyes I was also responsible for this. And I knew he was right. How cruel could fate be? I had hoped to bring happiness in his life, maybe even Love. In reality I was the reason for his misery.

I couldn't take it. The accusing look on J.T.s face, the sight of Vincent in this Cage and the terrible Guilt that burned my insides and crushed my heart.

At the same time...

J.T.

I was so angry at her. She really didn't understand what she had done to him. What he sacrificed for her, again. With every Death on his hands he lost himself a little bit more, hated himself a little bit more. I have seen Vincent in this State of mind before, had found him furiously scrubbing his hands raw from blood that was long washed away. Had seen him cry when he lost the rest of his family without a chance of going to their funerals. Had witnessed his brightest and lowest moments, in which the second have become more and more. Over the years he had become quieter and more closed up. I knew he had lost hope of the Antidote, of a chance to get back a normal life. I couldn't accept that. Since he was a child Vincent always put himself behind. Took care of everyone and rescued every crippled animal. It made always sense for him to become a Doc, where he could help people. And then came 9/11 and I until then, I had never seen someone so desperate as him. When he vanished I first thought he had killed himself. But than came his first Letter and they didn't stop till he stood in front of my door, scared to death, that haunted look in his eyes and with nothing but the cloth on his body. That was ten years ago and I protected him ever since. I would do anything for him and i know that the way i have to live because of Vincent is just another reason for him to hate himself. But I would never hold this against him, it was my decision to make. I would do what is needed to keep him safe and if that means containment to protect the people and me, than i would take control. As his friend I will also protect him from himself.

Years I had watched him become more and more like a ghost. Depressed and lonely.

I had never seen him really smile again, not until that first night he met her again. I pointed out the danger. I knew where this was heading long before he realised his feelings himself. How he looked at her, the way he talked about her and how he worked so hard for her acceptance. He was overlooking so many risks, throwing almost every rule out of the window for just a smile of her. For the tiny chance of something more with her. It wasn't that i didn't liked her, this was never my intention. No one deserves happiness more than him. But she never truly understood the power she held over him. That he would do anything for her, even kill and at the same time losing his own soul a little more. She never saw that until today when I showed her the aftermath of her decisions...