Hey Guys, here are my thought on episode 8 hope you'll enjoy! I have so much Fun writing this I think, I am an official beasty now :-) Besides where was my shirtless opener? Oh and also turns out, its very hard to do any research without spoilering myself to death but I deal with it! No googling for me any more... So have Fun!

Catherine : Wait, you're inducing another blackout?

Vincent : If it has the same effect as last time, it may be the only way we get to know more about your mom. Don't you want to know?

Catherine :

They both were clearly upset. The worst thing was that I couldn't remember why I hadn't told them, probably because it had sounded so made up. At the time I had honestly thought they lied. That Muirfield would do anything to make me see the Monster they thought they created. It would never work, not after I got to know that sweet Guy, who would always help despite the Danger for himself. When they tried to use my mother as kind of bait, i was sure it was their last straw to convince me. But the way Vincent and J.T. were looking at me made me realize that they were absolutely sure of my mothers involvement. And as a result they both thought I had purposely hold Information about her back. I didn't. I had promised that I would always be honest. They had made it clear that there was a "No secrets and lies" Policy. And especially Vincent, he needed my trust but overall I had the feeling he needed to feel safe with me, both of them. It felt like us against the world now.

They told me about the returning memories. It was really confusing without the medical knowledge that they bot had. But i understood quickly what he had to do to regain those memories. I couldn't believe that Vincent was going into that cage again, I hadn't really overcome the nightmares of seeing him in there the first time. As Vincent closed the lock on the chain while telling J.T. that he needed more i was beginning to get worried. But they both were hoping, hunting for answers. It seemed like they thought they had found a fresh trace and they would use it, no matter what. J.T. injected something and after a few seconds Vincent slid to the floor, head rolling on his shoulders and mumbling inaudible. It was hard to watch him, like he shouldn't do this alone. I asked J.T. to open so I could at least hold his hand. It seemed to go on forever.

When he seemed to finally get out of this haze I couldn't hold myself back any more. I snatched the key from J.T. and got into that cage despite his crude warnings. I just needed to get to Vincent. His breathing was harsh and his eyes slightly unfocused, but when I touched his arm and called his name, he slowly came back to me, to now. I helped him up and his unsteadiness showed me how much of an effect this experiments really had on his body. But as always, he didn't let anything show ad just asked for water. He hastily took a sip before he told us what he saw. His first Words were that it wasn't me. I wasn't the Trigger. A wave of joy ran through both of us. Vincent told us that my Mom had talked to him in the camp, about side effects and black outs. I couldn't believe that the woman I looked up to all my life did this to innocent people. But for him none of this mattered. For Vincent all that counts was that we didn't have to stay away from another. It felt like a whole universe of opportunities had just opened up ad he looked at me like I was the sun in that said universe.

But the Actions of my mother still weighted heavenly on me and I would do anything in my my power to make this right.

J.T. : Ah come again?

Vincent: I'm not gonna spend my life in and out of a cage, waiting for a lab rat to tell me to get out...

Vincent:

Time. He said he needed just a little more time for test and results. But I felt like I didn't had that time. If I had to go in that cage on more time I would break... or go insane. Couldn't they see it? The way my hands are shaking when I had to get in there. Never in all my life I had felt so little control over my life, my feelings and my episodes. And sitting in that fucking old elevator didn't help. I felt like it had made my condition worse. I already had hurt J.T. again, he said it was just a scratch but what would happen next time? Would I kill one of them? This couldn't go on. So I took back control and rammed that needle into my arm. Cat went almost nuts, but they needed to understand that I couldn't take it any more. I just couldn't. I had thought I was strong enough but behind those bars my mind had gone to some dark places. I had nearly lost it. Never again I told myself, but it didn't seemed to matter cause obviously in my rage not even this could held me locked up. So I put all on one card, it was this serum or nothing. And if it truly didn't work I would quietly find a way to end this miserable existence. Giving J.T. finally his Life back. And kiss Catherine goodbye. I couldn't die without knowing how her lips would feel on mine.

Oh good, I hope this stuff works...

Cat had to go back to work but J.T. didn't let me out of his eyesight. After three hours of anxious waiting he started the first round of tests. Blood pressure, reflexes, ECG and brainwaves, the whole package. All with good results. Then he ordered me to work out and after I completely powered myself out he started test round two. Same in the evening we did it for a third time, just to be sure. I had started to feel calmer over the day, more relaxed that I had been in weeks. The humming through my muscles had slowly subsided. I knew it had worked before he said one word. He just smiled, hugged me and I felt all this pent up tension from the last weeks leave his body. I realized how much of a burden this had been for him too. Never even feeling safe in your own home. But J.T. only took my jacket, throwing it at me. It's seems over Vincent, he said, so go to your girl.

I finally found her on the cemetery, quietly talking to her mothers gravestone. She told her about her fathers wedding and spoke out what weighted so heavily on her. I felt like an intruder to this very personal moment but I also couldn't bring myself to walk away from her. So I waited. After she was finished she came to me, knowing that with my abilities I heard every word.

Her Joy for me, for the working serum made me happy. Like finally something good had happend to me and I even had someone to share it with. She would never understand how much that little things meant to me. But I reminded her that even when I didn't had any more black outs it still wouldn't make any difference. I would most likely have to live forever with this dangerous beast inside me, I just maybe had more control over it. She just dismissed it like it wasn't important to her maybe cause she still felt guilty for the wrongdoings of her mother. I didn't know. So I tried to let her see the side of her mother that I had get to know. The one Person that didn't saw us as animals, who had tried to help us. And I told her in honest, that I wouldn't change a bit of my history because it lead me to her. And even if she didn't understand it, for me it was worth all the pain that I had endured because, in that crisp air I realized I could let that all go. I couldn't change it so I tried to live in the here and now. And right now, I could lay my arm around that gorgeous woman next to me and take a walk with her through the silent winter night, like any other normal Man. And I would savored every single moment of it.