Okay so I wrote that after I had cleaned away the puddle of goo I had become during that wedding dance scene... So sweet. And the cliffie was seriously mean! Hope you enjoy!
Catherine : No, I'm going to get out of it, I'm going to tell the at the rehearsal dinner tonight. Which I have to get ready for!
Catherine :
I had stopped being startled finding him there when I came in my room. I told him I needed to get going and we talked about the case while I changed my clothes next door. For a second I fantasised about stepping out in my underwear but dismissed the thought immediately. We hadn't even kissed yet and sometimes I wondered a little if we would any time soon. There were times when he looked at me so intense but he then he would withdraw again and quickly change the subject. I didn't think he did this on purpose but it held me in permanent a state of wanting. On his terms I told myself again, always on his terms. He got us back to the wedding topic and said maybe I didn't have to go alone.
When I got back into my room I talk about this Matchmaker woman and he told me about his chance of escorting me. He not only wanted to do me a favour, no he was really giddy about a night out, out of his prison. One night of normality. He was so full with excitement, talking about that silly stories we made up this morning. It was so tempting, leaving our troubles behind, plus the thought of seeing him in a Suit was very tempting. It would be amazing to go with him, but right now I couldn't tell him that. I had to be the responsible one because clearly, he wasn't. Vincent talked about how he felt better and I was thrilled for him but didn't he saw that this didn't changed our overall conditions? He was still officially dead and I have no idea what people my Dad and his bride had invited. There were just too many unknown obstacles and as hard as it was, I had to protect him. I told him no, as gently as I could, tried to explain my reasons but Vincent looked heartbroken, his sad eyes almost got me to giving in.
When I stop at the warehouse later, breaking the news about the case and this stupid matchmaker service, I saw the jealousy in his eyes. If he can't go with me than no other guy should, they say. I tried to explain that this is about the case but I don't think it matters to him. He only saw me going out with another Man who's not him, a picture that he clearly didn't like. So he suggested another Possibility, taking me by surprise. Going with J.T. was not really on my wish list but I understood why this was so important for him. His fear of losing me to someone else is real and I had to accept that. And he knows for sure that his best friend would never make a move an me so it's harmless. And I wanted him to feel sure of my affection for him...
Vincent : Her ideal date is dinner on a roof top or hanging out on a fire escape
J.T. : What are you talking about?
Vincent : This is about me...
Vincent:
When I studied the sheet of paper with her ideas for Dates and relationships, with her imaginations of her perfect partner I recognized myself in every Line and every word. She was describing me. I felt a huge smile cover my face. Could that be happening? I couldn't let that go without acting on it in some kind of way, I needed to do something right now. I wanted to see her but remembered she would probably been busy with getting ready for the wedding. And so I made a decision. I shouted for J.T., changing the plan while making my way under the shower.
My full length mirror had some cracks but I saw just enough of myself to rearrange my tie a dozenth times. My shaking Hands were not helping with the task. It was also obvious that I was in desperate need of a haircut but I didn't had time for that now, so I tried to comb it back a little, hoping that would do. I shaved a bit and snatched some of J.T. cologne. With one last look I turned around, finding my friend standing next to the door. I want to ask him how I look but I don't know if I would like the answer. The suit wasn't the best fitting cause of the muscles I gained over the time. The tie wasn't perfect either and i tried not to think about my face. I hope she doesn't notice the flaws, just saw the effort. When I took a last deep breath, J.T. grabbed my shoulder, telling me that I look great and that I should stop worrying. I think that's what friends are for when I leave the warehouse.
To find her in that full room is easy because she is the most beautiful woman in there. I make a mental note to tell her that tonight. She is in deep conversation what gives me the time to watch her for a moment, my eyes are drawn to her naked shoulder. When she finally spots me her heart rate speeds up and it's like music in my ears. For a moment i just stand there, unsure if I should step inside. I see all this dressed up people, it smells like money in the room while i washed blood off my hands just a few days ago. A flash of panic struck me not just of being recognized but of so many people starring on my scarred face, seeing the lousy Guy behind the mask. But the joy in her face helps and reduces the whole party to just the two of us. Slowly we make our way on the dance floor and than I'm finally holding her, my hands on the small of her back and her arms around my neck. It's the best dance of my life, the way she leans on my shoulder or the way her breath washes over the side of my neck. I don't know how long we swayed to the soft music but after some time she looks up and starts to lead me outside. I don't want to hide outside, I want to sit next to her on a table, eat and maybe dance some more before saying congratulations to her Father and make our way home. But she declines and tells me about her confession. For me there is no reason to not go back inside but she wants to stay outside. I have to be honest, its not the best feeling in the world. Like, I could have some time with this woman in the open, but she won't let me. Maybe she likes it this way, me being her Secret? My paranoia is getting stupidly high with my anxieties following behind. But just with a few words she wash my doubts away, telling me she feels like there is someone in her life and she just didn't want to share. I agree and whisper that this is not fake. For me it was always real. To lighten the mood I express my hunger and she quickly makes her way inside to steal some food for us.
Her heart beats ecstatic when she comes back and this time, it sadly has nothing to do with me. She tells me about Evans research and at first I try to deny it. I feel so good at the moment and this night is so perfect. But what she says is rational and believable. And I hate it. This should be our night but all we got were an hour of peace before troubles are knocking on the door again. I try to wrap my head around this new information, the prospect of loosing more and more of my humanity, of myself. My chances with this beautiful Girl were always thin, but having her watch me turning into a Thing between man and monster who's only communications are howls and growls would probably the last straw for her to run. Its like my worst nightmare coming alive and while she is still talking I try to imagine our future if this goes on. There will be no future, I realize. And the first frightening thought that comes to my mind is the cage. I will probably, at some time in the future have to go back into this cage when i can't control myself anymore. No, never again. I can't breathe and panic starts to creep up my neck. My hands starts shaking and I could be beginning to change in a few Minutes if I don't get it under control. Not the best place here so I do the only thing possible, I say a quick goodbye and go. But even in my haste i notice that she didn't say a word to stop me, she not even asks if I'm okay. Nothing... so much for accepting all of me.
I don't go straight home. I stay in the woods near the estate, making sure she comes home safe, i tell myself. Catherine tries to call me but I'm just not ready to talk to her. I still wrap my mind around the Mutation and the desperate wish to hold on to myself, to not drown in this beastly rage and one day maybe never coming out of it. I started to run when I heard that shots. Calling her name I speed up. Faster Vincent, I tell myself while I break through the tree line. Seeing the crushed cars makes my blood run cold. I'm finding her, still in her car, bleeding from a shot wound. I can't open the Door, I have to get her out. She saying my name while slowly losing consciousness . I feel the change happen, induced by adrenaline and the fear of loosing her. As gently as my claws let me, i peel her out of the totally ruined car. My thoughts are getting unclear, I realize I can't help her cause the doctor I was is taken over by the monster I am. Helpless I hold her close, whispering her name, trying to form intelligent thoughts but it doesn't work. My awareness is slowly replaced by instincts. And so I growl at the upcoming car before realizing who's driving it. Him, always him. My Instincts are telling me to fight him or to run but none of that is going to help the woman in my arms. Despite my fear of loosing her I gently place her on the street and retreat into the dark. Even the beast in me realized there wasn't another chance. But that doesn't makes it feel better, leaving her side, knowing he will help her when I can't.