Chapter 35
Dean avoided Cas' eyes the next day, apparently embarrased by the previous night's conversation. He didn't want to tell the others his assumptions about why Death had singled him out, although he knew in his heart they were true.
The morning went by too quick and before Dean knew it, they were all sitting down with the book that told of the spell to remake Lucifer's cage.
Bobby cleared his throat. "Hate to mention this, but how exactly are we gonna get Lucifer to go back to where he belongs?"
"I'm going to bring him there," Sam said quietly, and all eyes turned to him. "I'm Lucifer's vessel. I'll allow him into my body and then I'll take control and jump into the pit."
"What!" Bobby spluttered. "Why didn't you tell me this asinine plan?"
"Or me," Amber said quietly, looking a but hurt. Sam avoided her eyes.
"You know now. That's all that matters."
"Sam, you can't be serious. You'll be locked down there with Lucifer for eternity." Bobby said.
"You don't understand, any of you. I did this. I need to fix it." Sam's voice hardened as he got annoyed. He knew the risks, but the benefits outweighed them. The world...or him. It was an easy choice.
Bobby glanced at Dean for input, but the older Winchester shook his head wearily. "It's Sam's decision."
Four pairs of eyes swiveled to him in amazement.
"Do whatever it takes." Dean repeated Death's words from the previous night.
Sam breathed in sharply. "That's what he meant. He wanted you to let me do this."
Dean suddenly stood abruptly and turned to leave. Cas made to follow him, but Dean said sharply, "No, Cas."
The angel looked like a part of him had broken off and floated away. The baby kicked him hard, and he winced, touching the spot.
"It's ok." he thought, hoping the child inside him could understand him. "Daddy will be back soon." Cas had noticed that whenever Dean was not around the baby moved around more. Like it was looking for Dean.
Cas was brought back to reality by the loud slam of the door as Dean left. Glancing at his friends, he saw all of them looked upset by the conversation. Who wouldn't be?
Absently he brushed a few crumbs off the table and straightened the pile of papers there without realizing what he was doing.
"Cas?" Bobby, with his sharp hunter's eyes, noticed the movement. "What are you doing?"
Cas looked surprised at the question and shrugged, pulling his hands back from the table. A weird feeling was overtaking him..he wasn't sure what it was. It made him want to get up and-
"Isn't there any other way?" Bobby was saying. "Can we bind Lucifer, and then form the cage under him? Or trick him?"
"I don't know Bobby. But we can't risk the chance of the plan not working." Sam said.
"Who even knows if you'll be able to take back control once he's in your body? Lucifer is strong, Sam." Amber suggested. "Maybe you won't be able to fight him off. Then he'll have you and he can destroy everything."
"What choice do we have?" Sam snapped. Why couldn't they have faith in him? Apparently they didn't think he was strong enough.
"I could use my Grace." Castiel suggested. The baby kicked again, extremely hard, and Cas stood with a gasp.
"What's wrong?" Amber touched his arm lightly, looking concerned, and the angel shook his head. He went over to where some of their dirty clothes were on the floor and began picking them up.
"What you mean, use your Grace?" Bobby interrupted. "What would that do?"
Cas began folding the clothes neatly, and Amber watched him, frowning. She turned her head to look at Sam, who seemed perplexed.
"Pure Grace, seperated from the angel, is powerful. It is even more powerful by itself because it's not contained within the angel. I can harness my Grace and bind it to Lucifer. Then I can direct it to the entrance to the cage."
There was silence as the three watched Cas pack the folded clothes into their owner's bags and began straightening the cushions on the couch.
"And why didn't you think of this before?" Sam raised his eyebrows at the obvious question.
"I did...but I didn't know what the reaction would be to that plan. As well as it is not done very often. I thought it might be a method we could try, at least."
"If it doesn't work?" Bobby bit out. "Then what? Lucifer will know what we're up to."
"That will ring true for any other methods as well." Cas answered. "We cannot be sure that any of them will work."
Cas started wiping the dust off the TV screen with the bottom of his Tshirt.
"What will happen to you?" Amber asked, apprehensive of the answer.
"I will lose my Grace. I will become, essentially, human." Cas said, a tone of fear in his voice.
"Well that's better then Sam getting tortured eternally by Lucifer in the pit." Bobby said.
Amber got up from her seat to go to Cas, who suddenly looked lost; there was nothing else to clean. "What about to baby? Will it survive without your Grace?"
"It will. It has it's own Grace since it is half angel. Or something like Grace. I can feel the protective force, shielding the baby from harm." Cas smiled, and touched his stomach. "The baby will be fine. But I don't know what will happen to me."
Cas started to the beds on the other side of the room.
"Your vessel...it'll be human. A male." Amber realized, and the other two stiffened as they came to the same conclusion that Amber did. "Male bodies aren't meant to carry children."
"I can't let you do this," Sam stood up abruptly. "I won't let someone else make suffer for what I've done."
"Sam, if you do this, you will suffer eternally. If I die, I will go to Heaven and rest there." Cas began stripping the blankets from the bed and placing them in a heap on the floor.
"Dean needs you, Cas. You're gonna have a great life together." Sam came over to Cas, grabbing his arm to make him stop ripping the sheets off the bed. Frowning, he looked at the pile of blankets. "What are you doing, anyway?"
Cas glanced at him confusedly, then down at the blankets. "I don't...I don't know. Something's telling me to do it."
Amber regarded Castiel with a curious expression before her eyes widened. "Oh crap."
"What?" Bobby snapped at her sudden anxious tone.
"Nothing." Amber kept her voice steady but inside her chest it felt like a volcano about to burst. She had seen this before; it was instinct to make sure everything was ready when a baby came. Cleaning, fixing the sleeping spot..nesting. Like how a mother bird doesn't lay her eggs until the nest is ready. Apparently Cas didn't even know he was doing it. She needed to tell Dean.
She headed to the door, ignoring the stares fom her companions. Expecting to have to search the whole town to find Dean, she discovered that she didn't have far to go. She spied him sitting in the Impala, music blasting through the closed windows. Quickly walking over, she banged on the window.
"Dean!"
He glanced at her, glaring slightly. He told Cas to stay. Didn't that show he wanted to be alone?
"Turn the damn music off! This is important!" Amber commanded, and she stepped back, placing her hands on her hips like she was reprimanding a naughty child.
Sighing, Dean turned off the radio and got out of the car.
"What?"
"It's Cas." Amber explained quickly. "I think he's going to have the baby soon."
Dean's muscles tightened as he prepared to sprint back to the room, but Amber grabbed him before he could.
"Wait. Dean, I don't think he knows."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know..he's sort of nesting, but he doesn't realize he's doing it." Amber said with frustration. "I can't explain. I just know. But I think we should go to Bobby's. Somewhere we know we'll be safe."
A panicked expression came over Dean's face. The other night...Castiel was so upset that nothing was ready. Could that have been the start of the nesting phase? "You're serious? This is actually happening?"
Amber patted Dean's arm and smiled. "Don't look so scared, Dean. It'll be ok. You're gonna be a father!"
"How long?" Dean forced out hoarsely, his heart pounding rapidly.
Amber shrugged. "I don't know. Some women go through the nesting phase a week before labor. With Cas it might happen faster since the gestastion is shorter. I can't predict how long. A few days?"
Dean leaned against the car, taking deep breaths to steady himself. "We should probably get going, then."
"I would say." Amber agreed, nodding. They began back to the motel room, Dean's heart racing. In the extremely near future he was gonna become a father. This was it; this was for real.
The others were still arguing about luring Lucifer into Hell while Cas quietly continued his mission to change the bed sheets. Amber went to Bobby and Sam, poking them to make them quit arguing and quickly informed them of what was happening.
Dean was next to Cas in a moment. "Cas?"
The angel looked up at his mate with concerned eyes. "Are you alright, Dean?"
Dean cleared his throat, his eyes resting on Cas' stomach for a second as if he expected the kid to burst out.
"Yeah," he said. "Just..I think we should go back to Bobby's."
"Why?" Cas asked curiously, tilting his head.
Dean glanced at Amber, who nodded encouragingly from behind him. "Do you know what you're doing?"
He gestured to the bed sheets, and Cas frowned.
"Yes. Changing the sheets."
"But why are you changing the sheets?"
Cas opened his mouth to reply before falling silent. "I just have a feeling inside...I need to clean and prepare everything."
"Cas..you're nesting. It's what happens sometimes to pregnant women before they go into labor." Dean reached out, placing a hand on Cas' stomach. "The baby is going to come soon, Cas."
"But we're not ready!" Cas backed away from Dean. ."Lucifer needs to be locked up before our child comes into the world. That was the plan, Dean."
Shaking his head, Cas backed away further. "I'm not going back to Bobby's yet. There's still work to do. I can use my Grace to send Lucifer back-"
"What are you going on about?" Dean gaped, thinking that Cas was just ranting. Amber stepped in quickly so Cas didn't have to explain. "He can use his grace to bind Lucifer and send him into the cage. Like seperate it from himself."
"But then-" Dean frowned. "Cas, you won't be an angel anymore?'
Cas hesitated before replying. "No. I will be human."
"What about-" Dean gestured to Cas' belly.
"The child will be fine." Cas snapped. "We need to do this. It is better then Sam losing himself to Lucifer-"
"But we don't know what will happen to you!" Sam jumped in.
"I have a better chance then you-" Cas began, before Dean interrupted. "Don't I get a say in this? You might be risking your life. I think I should be able to weigh in."
"Who knows what would happen to him. He won't have his powers to stabilize the male vessel. Men weren't made to bear children. No one can predict what will happen to his body." Amber put in.
"All right, idgits. Everyone shut up." Bobby demanded. "This ain't gonna solve itself by arguing. We need to lay down the facts: Lucifer needs to go into the cage, one way or another-"
"Wait." Amber's eyes shined excitedly. "What if Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Cas uses his Grace? It'll be a double whammy. And then maybe once the Grace is bound, Sam can expel Lucifer. It'll be two against one, and Sam gets to live."
"We still don't know what'll happen to Cas," Dean pointed out.
Cas shook his head indignantly. " I think it is my choice, Dean."
A sudden cold permeatated the air and the angel shuddered. Despite their current arguement, Cas moved close to his mate and Dean stood in fron of him protectively.
"Dean, Dean. Dean." a smooth old voice said, making the hunter's heart drop. Death appeared, applauding softly. "Didn't I warn you? Do whatever it takes."
"I thought you meant Sam-" Dean's legs grew weak as Death glared at him.
"You pesky insects always try to make sense of something, finding an answer. Did I say Sam?" Death fingered his cane, sighing. "You humans try my patience sometimes. I said, do whatever it takes. And quickly. Lucifer is about to send me out to do his dirty work. And it won't end pretty for all the people that will die."
In a blink of an eye, Death was gone, leaving the five people in the room stunned.
"Well." Bobby said. "I think that settles it. We're gonna go lock up the devil."
88888888
Bobby's house was a few days drive. They figured whatever they were going to do would be best done near a safe place. Just in case.
Cas chose to ride with Bobby and Sam instead of with Dean and Amber, much to Dean's discontent.
"Come on, just get in the car." Dean said, frustrated, to the angel. He held the Impala's door open invitingly. Cas shook his head hesitantly.
"I think it would be better if I rode with Bobby. Then you can think about what Death said and the situation instead of pestering me not to do this."
Dean reached for the angel, but he stepped back, out of grasp. Standing dumb-founded, Dean stared as Cas got into the Chevelle and Bobby pulled away. An empty feeling grew from his core outward as Cas got further away.
"What the hell," he finally muttered, and then got into the driver's seat, slamming the door.
Amber, in the passenger, winced at the glare on Dean's face. She could practically feel the frustration in it. Although it probably wasn't the time to do so as indicated by his expression, she tried to reassure him.
"It'll be okay, Dean. This is a way where everything might work out."
Dean slammed his foot on the gas and sped from the motel parkinglot. "How? Cas might blow up once he loses his grace."
"We can find a way-"
"Just shut up! I don't want to hear it, you annoying bitch!" Dean punched the volume on the dash so music exploded from the stereo. The music allowed everything to be banished from his mind.
Amber blinked, stunned for a moment at the callous outburst. When she regained her senses, she turned her head toward the window so Dean wouldn't notice the tears running down her cheeks.
888888888
Cas sat in the back seat of the Chevelle, feeling lonely and lost without Dean. He whole heartedly wished that he hadn't made the rash decision to ride with Bobby. Sam and the older hunter were still arguing about defeating the devil, but Cas easily tuned them out.
The empty food wrappers on the floor were drawing his attention, but he ignored the urge to clean them up. Instead, he leaned against the seat and his shoulder twinged; the wound was still there, but healing. Dean had dressed it tenderly last night before they went to bed.
Closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see that Dean wasn't there beside him, he touched his stomach, absently rubbing it and concentrating on the life within him. The baby wriggled, and Cas could feel it's power radiating. He was positive that the baby would be fine. He would never do this if any harm would come to the child. It was his link to Dean, a symbol of his rebellion against Heaven...and his baby. His chance at a life.
Smiling slightly, he imagined walking hand in hand with the child around their yard. The sun would shine off the child's face...Cas could share secrets with his baby. How to use the angelic powers that resideded within it...things that Dean would never know or understand.
"Cas." Sam was calling him, and he opened his eyes, coming back to reality. "What do you think?"
"About what?" Cas asked, confused.
Sam rolled his eyes and gave a soft huff. "Could we get another angel and use it's Grace?"
"No. The angel would have to surrender it willingly. If not, you can tear it from them, but I would never do that. It is cruel." Cas answered, thinking about the time in Heaven when he was punished for giving too much information to the Winchesters. Raphael had torn out his Grace over and over...he shuddered at the unpleasant memory.
"Shoot that idea down then." Bobby said grumpily, and Cas became lost in his thoughts once again.
This time a darkness flooded the happy thoughts. Maybe he wouldn't be around to do these things...he didn't want to think about what would happen to himself after his Grace was gone. The baby would be safe and that was all that mattered. Sam would not have to suffer eternal damnation. Lucifer would be destroyed. Dean would be...devasted if anything happened to him. Their bond had grown even stronger as the pregnancy progressed; now that Dean was absent from his sight, Cas was feeling like a piece of him was gone and he was sure Dean was feeling the same.
What would happen to Dean if he died? Once angels were mated, their Graces bound them together. But he wouldn't have his Grace anymore if he survived...it would be like a common relationship. No eternal comittments like there normally would be.
These thoughts were extremely toubling, and even more so since they were basicallly questions with no answers. This was a first time scenario. They were certainly breaking all the rules there were to break here.
88888888
Cas must have dosed off because suddenly Bobby was nudging him and telling him to get up.
"We're stopping for a few minutes to stretch our legs."
Cas sat up drowsily as Sam and Bobby got out of the car. The Impala pulled up next to them in the gas station parkinglot. Struggling to get out of the car, Cas saw that Amber was out of her seat in a flash.
Bobby was already inside, but Sam was walking around, moving his long legs that had gotten stiff from being in the car so long. Amber practically ran to him, and he grabbed her before she knocked him over.
Cas stood, using the door frame to pull himself up. Dean had a sour look on his face as he glanced at Amber. Now that they were closer, Cas could feel Dean's emotions again: fear, frustration, guilt.
Sam was hugging Amber. Although she hadn't said a word, he guessed Dean probably said something to her. Riding with a pissed off Dean was like torture. If the expression on Dean's face was anything to judge by when Bobby drove off with Cas in the back, Dean was extremely pissed.
Sam brushed the hair away from her face lightly and she smiled, bringing her hand up to hold his hand against her cheek. Bending slightly so they were level, Sam leaned forward so their lips touched.
"Thank you." Amber whispered when they parted. "That was awesome. But on a completely different note, I never want to ride alone with your brother again." She didn't want to say what exactly Dean had called her, lest it lead to a fight, but she needed some comfort from Sam. She was only trying to help after all.
Sam smiled slightly. He had that feeling many times, but there was nothing he could do to change it. He glanced across the lot at Dean, who was leaning against the Impala with his back toward Cas,who had managed to get out of the Chevelle.
The angel moved hesitatingly over to the hunter. Coming around the back of the Impala, Cas reached out for Dean when he was close enough.
"I'm sorry."
Dean snorted. "For what? Punishing me for disagreeing with you?"
Cas leaned against the car next to Dean, stretching out his aching back. "I just want you to understand, and maybe if you thought about it-"
"Yeah, I thought about it. My answer is stil no." Dean interrupted.
"God damn it, Dean!" Cas burst out angrily. "I'm trying to apologize and explain-"
"You're doing a hell of a job."
"Because you won't let me!" Cas voice broke, and he took his weight off the car so he could start backing away. Tears were rolling from his cheeks now, dripping to the concrete.
"You're a dick," he muttered, choking through the tears, before storming off across the parkinglot. Wishing with all his heart that he could harness just a little power to transport himself to anywhere but here, Cas found that he had to content himself with walking instead.
Sam and Amber looked concerned when he went past, crying and muttering about stubborn hunters. Sam threw a dirty look in Dean's direction, who didn't seem to be paying attention, while amber slipped away after Castiel. Although heavy with pregnancy, the angel had made it across the parkinglot already and began down the side of the road. Amber ran, breathing heavily by the time she caught up with him.
"Cas, wait," grabbing his arm to stop him, she panted, trying to catch her breath.
Biting his lip to try and control his tears, Cas shrugged her off. He didn't feel like talking to anyone now. Well, he wanted Dean, but as the hunter was being a stubborn ass, that wasn't happening.
"C'mon. We need to go back." Amber said gently as Cas continued walking on.
"Why? So Dean can keep arguing?" Cas wiped his face with his sleeve.
"He was a dick to me too, in the car. He was just upset that you didn't ride with him. I've never seen him in such a sour mood."
"Then why did he act like that when I was finally beside him?" Cas turned around to face Amber.
"He's scared, Cas. And worried that he's gonna lose you." Amber patted his arm lightly and smiled. Offering her hand she said, "Let's go back."
Cas took it hesitantly, not very eager to argue with Dean again. Common sense overcame his feelings, however, and they started back.
88888888
Sam glared at Dean until his brother looked around.
"What?" he spat.
"What did you say to Cas?"
"Nothing that shouldn't have been said."
"Dean," Sam said exasperatedly. "He's really upset."
"And you don't think I'm not?" Dean rounded suddenly on Sam. "He's about to do something and we don't know what the consequences will be."
Sam folded his arms and stared at Dean. "So if Cas doesn't do this, what is the alternative? Me taking Lucifer into the pit alone, right? We know exactly what the consequences of that will be, so you're ok with it?"
Judging by Dean and Cas' conversation the night before, he knew Dean wasn't. The fact was, it irked him that Dean was so concerned for Cas, even though Death gave his ominous warning.
"He doesn't know what he's doing. The hormones are messing with his brain." Dean said. "I can't let him."
"What do you think Death will do if I fail? He might kill Cas. He warned you, Dean. At least Cas has a chance this way. Who knows, if this fails, Death might kill all of you and I'll end up Lucifer's meatsuit for eternity." Sam pointed out. "Is that a better alternative? Think about it, and apologize to the damn angel before it's too late."
Sam left Dean standing there dumb-founded. This time, he actually did think about it. What Sam was sating made perfect sense. But that still didn't mean that he had to like it. Raising a hand to his eyes to block the sun, he glanced across the parkinglot to see Cas coming back with Amber. When he left, Dean almost called after him, but his stubborness won out. Now however, he went to the angel, and felt guilty when he saw how miserable Cas looked.
Amber gave Cas a reassuring pat and shot a glare at Dean before leaving so they could talk.
"If you could move, I need to sit down." Cas said flatly. Instinctively he made for the Impala, and Dean hurried to get the door for him. Cas sat on the edge on the passenger seat, huffing a little; the brief excercise had made him extremely tired. He just wanted a bed...he shifted uncomfortably on the seat while Dean made himself at home on the asphalt next to the open door.
"Are you ok?" Dean asked quietly.
"No, I'm not." Cas snapped. A few more stray tears squeezed from Cas' eyes. Dean slid a hand up to cover Cas' on the seat. Although Cas was still angry, he couldn't help but move his hand slightly so their fingers entwined.
"I'm sorry." Dean pushed out. "I just don't want anything to happen to you."
Cas didn't reply; Dean still felt some annoyance radiating from him. Tugging gently on Cas' hand, he said, "Come here."
As much as he wanted to disobey the command, he couldn't. He was being drawn to Dean now, he needed the hunter. Cas slid off the seat slowly, Dean guiding him gently down onto his lap. Then angel bent his knees on either side of the hunter's legs so that they were facing each other.
"Cas," Dean said, and that was all he needed to say. Reaching a hand out to cup Cas' cheek, the angel leaned into his hand. Cas bent forward slightly to touch his lips to Dean's.
"I love you. You know that, Cas." Dean smiled warmly. "I haven't been this happy in a long time."
Cas leaned into the hunter, resting his head on Dean's shoulder and wrapping his arms around his back. Stroking Cas' hair softly, Dean closed his eyes and wished whole heartedly that things were different.
Dean felt his shirt begin to dampen and he knew Cas was crying again. His poor angel...and this time it was his fault.
"I need to do this. If Lucifer is not locked up...Dean, I don't want to raise a child in the Apocalpyse." Cas choked out through his tears. "It would be no life. I need to ensure the happiness of my child...no matter the cost to myself. Do you understand?"
Dean did understand; he felt the same way about Sam...and now Cas and his baby. He was ready to sacrifice himself for any of them. But when he was on the other side, it felt completely different.
"Baby...I know."Dean answered simply, because it was all he could think to say. He had always tried to care for the people he loved..but he knew now that they should be allowed to make decisions for themselves. Sam was no longer a child, and Castiel was an angel. Dean could not stop them from doing what they believed was right. It was better to show support and stand with them then argue and stand against them. Especially since Death was also giving him cryptic warnings.
Cas sat up, shocked slightly. "Are you saying that you're ok with this? That you will allow me to do it?"
Dean reached out a hand to ruffle Cas' hair affectionately. "I won't allow you to do anything. I can't control you. Even if I said no, would you still do it? It's your decision."
They sat in silence for a moment, the gaze held between them.
"If I survive, will you still love me, even though I won't be an angel?"
Dean laughed softly, and Cas looked disgruntled. "If you think it's a joke-"
"Yes, babe. I will love you no matter what you are. Haven't I proved that?" Dean tugged Cas down for another kiss. He rubbed his hand over Cas' stomach, feeling the baby. For the first time, he felt like everything would be okay.
The angel pressed back hungrily against Dean's lips, and the hunter knew the fight was over. Dean hugged him tightly, and Cas relaxed in his arms.
A sudden bang on the Impala's trunk made them both jump. Bobby came around the corner of the car, banging on the hood again. "What are you doing? We need to move now."
Dean's heart jumped. "What happened?"
Cas grabbed the door to help heave himself up so Dean could stand. There was something in Bobby's tone that scared him..something desperate.
"On the TV in the gas station...Chicago is in trouble. There's a major storm brewing. The authorities are warning people to evacuate the city, but it's coming on fast. Remember what Death said?"
"Shit." Dean cursed. "Did they say how long?"
"No, but I have a feeling we ain't got a lot of time." Bobby said grimly. "We need to do whtever we're gonna do now."
Sam and Amber had run over, Amber looking terrified.
"What's going on?"
"We need to lock up Lucifer. Now." Bobby said quickly.
"I can call him here." Sam said quietly. "He'll come if I offer myself to him."
Dean stiffened beside Cas, and the angel pressed against him to reassure him.
"Sam. If you do say yes, you will need demon blood. Gallons." Cas said quietly and Sam nodded.
"We better go get a demon then."
"There's a crossroads back a bit. Amber can summon a demon and we can drain it." Bobby suggested.
"Let's go then. Time's running out." Sam said, heading for the Chevelle. Amber followed him quickly, looking desperate and scared.
Bobby clapped Dean on the shoulder and said gruffly, "Decide what's going on with you and Cas. We'll need to be ready when the time comes."
Dean looked taken aback as Bobby left, hopping in the Chevelle and roaring off. He stood stock still a minute before gesturing Cas to the Impala.
Turning the key in the ignition so the Impala roared to life, Dean looked over at his angel. "Do you think it will work? Using your Grace?"
Cas gave a nod.
"Do it then. But afterwards, Cas...do you have any idea what'll happen to you?"
"No. The human male is not made to carry children..the organs of this vessels may be damaged to a point where they can't be healed..or something else may occur." Cas scooted closer to Dean as he spun off onto the road.
"I will do everything to help you. I can bring you to the hospital, maybe they can-"
"I don't want you to do that. The doctors will want answers, and we won't have any for them." Cas buried his face in Dean's shoulder. "Just take care of the baby, Dean. If anything happens. That's all I want."
Dean felt like he was spiralling down a dark hole with slick sides; there was nothing to grab onto to haul himself back up.
Cas was kissing Dean's neck, and Dean felt the wetness on his skin from Cas' tears. All their plans...burned up like the bodies they so often cremate.
They reached the crossroads and pulled to the side of the road behind Bobby. The others were already in the road, digging a hole.
"Dean, I love you. Don't forget that."
Dean glanced at his mate, gazing into the blue eyes shining with tears and felt a burning in his throat. Touching his forehead to Cas, he whispered softly, "I won't."
Dean wanted so much to stay with Cas in the car, hold him and kiss him until the end of time, but he couldn't. They might be saving the world from the Apocalypse, but his own personal Apocalypse would still rage on; it could not be prevented. His brother and his mate, both in danger..and he could do nothing to stop it.