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Chapter 37

Amber, Bobby and sam sat in silence downstairs. None of them wanted to see what was going on in that room. There were no words to be said, no words that could change what happened.

Bobby stood suddenly from his chair and grunted. "Beers?"

Sam nodded but Amber declined, her face pale. She still couldn't believe Cas was gone. When Bobby left the room, she moved closer to Sam, burying her face in his chest.

Sam ran a hand over her back soothingly, but that only encouraged the tears to come faster.

"It's not fair." she choked out. "All the good you guys do...Cas didn't deserve this."

"No, he didn't." Sam said quietly. "But I did. I was the one that let him out. I should have just jumped in the damn pit with him. Cas wouldn't have had to do anything."

"But then you would have been there with him, forever." Amber gripped his shirt tightly in her fists. "Besides, Death said to do whatever it took. We didn't know what it was going to take so we gave everything."

Sam, although he felt like arguing, said nothing. All of this was his fault, and now Cas was dead and who knew how Dean would be.

Bobby came back into the room, handing a cold beer to Sam and resuming his position in his chair. Uncomfortable silence fell again over them as they waited for the arrival of Dean's child.

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Pat was calling from the top of the stairs to the three in the living room. "Could you bring me a basin of warm water, please? And some fresh towels?"

Amber hopped up immediately, anxious to do something to help. Bobby stood as well to help her.

"Do you even know where anything is in the house?" he questioned with raised eyebrows.

Amber blushed a bit. "No. But I can't just sit here any longer."

Bobby nodded and touched her shoulder lightly, leading her to the kitchen. "'C'mon then. I'll show you,"

Within a few minutes Amber was on her way upstairs with a few towels draped over her arm and a basin of water in her hands.

"Should we go up?" Sam asked Bobby when the older hunter came back. Bobby shook his head.

"We'll wait for Dean."

Amber paused outside the room, hesitating. As much as she wanted to help, she didn't want to see Cas' body spread out on the bed.

Pat popped her heads out suddenly. "Do you want to come in? I can use some help."

Amber nodded despite her previous hesitation and followed Pat. She kept her eyes averted from the body on the bed, but she couldn't help looking at Dean. He was leaning over Cas, caressing his hair and touching his cold cheeks, tears running silently from his eyes.

"What's your name?" Pay asked encouragingly. She could tell Amber was nervous and upset, and thought small talk might help her a bit.

"Amber."

"Alright Amber, can you put the basin there?" Pat pointed to the floor, and resumed her seat next to Cas. "The baby is just about here, and I want to clean it up a bit."

Amber did as she was told, setting the basin down and kneeling on the floor next to the bed. Her eyes were trained on Dean, his distress upsetting her. Her own throat started burning, and she wanted to reach out to him and comfort him.

Although something inside told Amber not to, she reached out a hand anyway and placed it on Dean's knee, squeezing gently. Dean didn't respond immediately, but after a minute glanced down at Amber.

"I'm sorry, Dean." She stood and moved closer to him. He looked at her with blank, lost eyes. On instinct Amber wrapped her arms around him, embracing him tightly. Dean froze in the hug for a second, and Amber regretted her move instantly, cursing herself.

She should not have pushed it with the hunter. Then Dean relaxed and returned her hug, much to her surprise.

"I'm sorry, " Amber whispered again, and those words brought more tears fom Dean.

"Amber," Pat called suddenly. "Can you please help me?"

Amber was almost sad to let go of Dean, it was the first time they really bonded. But she did and turned to help Pat.

The nurse was holding the baby in her arms, and she had it wrapped in a towel in her lap. She frowned as she studied the baby; there was no crying, just intense blue eyes staring at her as though seeing through her very soul.

"Can you clean the baby while I stitch Cas up?" Pat pushed the baby toward Amber, it's gaze starting to unbsettle her, and turned her attention back to Castiel.

Amber was beaming at the baby in her arms, full of life and warmth, and glanced at Dean. He had finally taken his eyes off his dead mate to stare at his child instead.

"Help me, Dean." Amber patted the carpet beside her, smiling despite the tears in her eyes. There had been death, but there was also a new life to think about. The baby should not come into this world surrounded by sorrow, but to smiles and love.

Dean slid off his seat and kneeled beside Amber. She unwrapped the baby slowly, putting the dirty towel aside.

"Looks like you have a little boy, Dean." Amber grinned, and lowered the baby into the water.

"A boy." Dean repeated slowly. He could not take his eyes off his son. The baby was perfect. Literally. No mishapen featues to grow into. Glowing skin. Bright blue eyes, exactly like Castiel's.

Dean watched as Amber gently cleaned the bloody fluids from the baby. His heart ached as his son looked at him; he almost felt like it was Cas that was staring at him. Tears of sorrow burned his eyes, but they were mingeled with tears of happiness as well.

Amber grabbed another clean towel and lifted the baby out of the water, wrapping him up snuggly in the towel. Holding him out to Dean, she smiled.

"Congratulations, Dean."

Dean was afraid he would hurt the baby; he seemed so fragile. Amber guided his arms into a cradling position and handed the baby off to his father.

There were no words to explain the feeling of holding his son in his arms...it was just joy. Pure joy. Dean leaned to place a light kiss on the baby's forehead.

"Cas would have been proud, Dean. He's a beautiful baby." Amber said softly, patting Dean on the back.

Pat stood from her seat, placing the instruments she had been working with on the table with a clink. Her motion drew Dean's eyes to her, and they darkened considerably as she drew another clean sheet over Cas, covering his pale face.

The hunter stiffened, and Amber patted his back again. The baby started finally crying in Dean's arms as the hunter stared at Cas' outline under the sheet. It was as if the infant knew his father was dead on the bed next to them.

"Dean, why don't we go downstairs, huh? Show the family the new addition." Amber got to her feet, tugging Dean to make him move. It would do Dean good to get out of the depressing room with Cas' body.