Okay, so as you know I watch every episode multiple times to sense the mood and catch every intense look etc. But this episode was making it very hard for me, it just was to much half naked Vincent and it killed my concentration every single time :-) Also I spent hours trying to find the right words for this. Like the kiss I don't know if I succeeded. Any way, as always thanks for your kind reviews and I hope you enjoy!

Catherine: I thought maybe the two of us could hang out, if you're not doing anything.

Vincent: Right now?

Catherine: Yeah...

Catherine:

When I slowly awakened from my stone like sleep, I needed some minutes to realise that him and me had really happened. Two days ago he had kissed me, said he loved me. And oh my god, that kisses. I've never been kissed like that, slowly and carefully like I was the most precious thing in the world. It had been more than I could have ever imagined in my head. I knew that he would be gentle but the way his big, strong hands had held my neck made me feel safe and loved. His eyes had been full of wonder when I told him that I loved him. Almost like he couldn't believe it, couldn't comprehended that he, Vincent was the owner of my heart. I would do anything in my power to show him that my Love only belonged him and that he deserved it more than anything. I smiled at that thought and while the bright morning sun flooded my bedroom I pulled my covers back and made my way to the bathroom.

I had some spar time and thought of what to do with the hours during my search for clothes. It also had no particular reason that for once my underwear matched and that my body was shaved and smelled lightly like roses. In the end I chose a light, white blouse, feeling very feminine today. I knew what my heart and body wanted to do but maybe it was to early to go just over there. We had needed so much time for just a kiss maybe we would need the same for the other steps. Oh good, I hope we don't. This Kiss had opened a tiny, locked box inside me where all my more primal urges where hidden until now. Now they all hummed through my body probably mating with the butterflies that lived in my stomach. While I drank my coffee, I tried to lose that smile in my face but I just couldn't. No matter how hard I tried to control my thoughts, they where always coming back to him, and his words and these kisses. Okay maybe when I would see him and we would talk (or kiss) a little, I would be able to work later. So I filled my coffee in a to go Cup and grabbed my jacket.

I had used the emergency key he had given me a few weeks ago and overheard J.T.'s sarcasm, I had gotten used to it. It was very hard to sound cool when he was standing there without a shirt, looking so handsome like he just woke up. Ever the best friend J.T. made a very unsubtle departure and not without to mention that he would be gone for several hours. Now, that we were alone I smiled at him and waited for any kind of approach. But no, instead of my personal hope of loosing clothes, his first thought were putting some on. So not what I had thought but yes of course put on a shirt, why not a sweater and a jacket on top. And while he struggled with his shirt I was making a complete fool out of myself by talking like a crazy one. He looked more than a little uncomfortable in that moment. Of course I had thought about that, more than just once but I hadn't wanted to tell him that right away. So I rebooted my brain in hope to turn this around but he just started to bolt. Like really bolt. Told me he needs to go while we both knew that he has nowhere to be right now, no job or anything.

Why was he acting so weird, was he having second thoughts? Was it too much after all? I took take a deep breath and ask him between the lines if something has changed, if he doesn't want to be with me. None of us was speaking in full sentences, not knowing what to say or how to say it and it just felt awkward. He said, he so wants to... And I almost begged him to finish that sentence but I think I know what he had in mind. It's just doesn't felt like it when he was literally running from me in the same moment. And then a thought popped I my head, he was still feeling guilty. He had to comprehend the next blood on his hands while I only had his hands on my body on my mind. So I told him right away that he didn't need to, that I will be forever grateful for him saving my Sister. And even if he looks like he is still fighting with this last blow, dealing with the guilt he feels so deeply, he just thanked me quietly, gave me a hurried kiss on the cheek and than he was out the door. What the fuck did just happened here?

Through I was more confused and frustrated than before visiting Vincent, I tried to fight this feelings with out powering myself. And when that wasn't helping I'm called Brooke since Tess wasn't available for girl talk any more. Maybe I needed more Girl friends for situations like this I thought when suddenly an almost naked man came in my view. We had a weird conversation before he realized that he is indeed somehow in the wrong locker room. Thanks for the Ego booster but really what was it with this day? Why was nothing going the way I wanted it too?

So I tried the last possible option that I have, I grabbed my money and bought her favourite cappuccino. And for a few minutes it was working, before said half naked guy stood in front of me, this time in a suit. It sting, how Tess is introduced us. When I saw the new agents my blood ran cold. One look and I knew what kind of Agents they are, I had met this type before. The don't shoot first and ask questions later, the don't asked questions at all. So in my lunch break I drove to the ware house again, this time in full speed.

Catherine: Vincent, I'm... I'm afraid, things start getting out of hand.

Vincent: I know and I need to explain...

Vincent:

To hunt me. That was nothing new to me, I had lived with that feeling for the last decade. I had accepted that I probably wouldn't die old and grey, with grandchildren surrounding my bed. But in contrast to Muirfield Joe would hunt me till his last breath, because this was personal for him. She seemed shocked by my calmness but what had she thought? That we would live happily ever after? She had known my situation the whole time. The only thing I really feared about this was causing her pain with my death.

What had really messed me up that day were the papers, being called a psychopath who kills innocent people with nothing I could do about it was a hard thing to take in. I was a killer, but today my sins were published to the world, if true or not didn't mattered to me. I had no chance of defending myself. Now the world could hate me as much as I did myself. And as much as she wished to, I knew that nobody would ever testify for me. Maybe it would be better to get caught on my terms, so they could put me behind bars, even if the idea of getting in any type of cage again made my skin crawl. Obviously I wouldn't have to stay there long, Muirfield would probably get me killed in less then 48 hours. As always she believed in me, reassured me that we could get trough that or something like that. I didn't heard all of it because the second her hand touched my arm I felt that humming again, coursing though my whole body. I instantly move away.

And that was the moment she finally lost her coolness. I knew she wanted to help me but of course she didn't knew how. Because I hadn't told her. And I knew I didn't wanted to but there was no way around it now. So I confessed. About that dream of us and how it had frightened me. It wasn't just a nightmare, this was my life. The life I had to live every single day where nothing was easy or normal. Not even this particular Aspect. While dying in shame I told her about that other woman, of my lack of self control and that it had been a miracle that she survived. How fucked up was that? That she had to ask me if the last woman I had been with got killed by me? But again she didn't run, neither was she repulsed by me. In her eyes I could see even if I had killed that women she would have forgiven me that too. I tried to make her understand that all consuming panic I felt when I got closer to her, how my control did always hang on thin threads around her. What an awesome boyfriend I was, I not only pulled her slowly in the shadows and brought her life in constant danger now I couldn't even meet her expectations in that department. I was pathetic. She was quiet for some time and before this could get any worse, I changed the subject.

We talk about the case but it was to close to our situation so we were quickly back on topic. She conquered my self loath with the word hero. No word was further away from the truth but I'm touched by her way of seeing me. My hand reached for hers but she pulled away. I realised that even if her Head wanted to see only the good in me her body instinctively recoiled from my touch. She tried to apologize but I had knew that the words I told her would have an affect on her. I should have told her sooner. Maybe she would've never developed feelings for me, what would have made things easier. But no, I had selfishly taken everything that I could, to just feel some kind of warmth again. As ever Catherine found the words to make me hope that we could have a chance in some kind of way. And made the suggestion to take it slow until we could figure a way out how to deal with this mess. Before we go back to the case I wanted, no needed to tell her that I want her more than anything. If only the circumstances were different. And it makes me almost blush to hear that she wants me almost as much. Who would have thought that my scarred body could hold any attraction for her.

That evening with the masquerade ball felt like a Dream. I couldn't take my eyes of her, she looked like a goddess. With the lace around her eyes and that naked shoulders again I had a really hard time concentrating. I tried to stay on my mission but my eyes were constantly drawn to her. Only the danger she was getting herself into had let me regain focus. The way she was flirting with him made me ill and when he called her names and pointed that gun at her I snapped. I unleashed the rage within me and crushed him to the ground. All my instincts were screaming to kill him but somehow I could stop myself. I controlled myself. When we got out of there I felt so hopeful, tomorrow it would be all be better. As she took these steppes away from me I decided to give my unbelievable happiness an outlet. I just couldn't let her leave like that so I called out her name, almost ran down that stairs and kissed my girl with all that joy I felt in that moment, with all the want I desperately needed her to know. It left me breathless.

Until I turned on the TV the next day and saw that I was still the most wanted monster and that the girl I loved stood in front of cameras while her Boss told the world how they would hunt me with every possible resource until they had me. I saw the pain in her eyes while he said those words and I felt it with her. We would never get a minute of peace. She tried to stay positive, telling me she could keep an eye on them while trying to protect me. But how much longer could she fight on two sides before she was discovered? She could loose her job and her life and I would be damned if I would be the reason for it. So I told her a glimpse of my possible future which was almost non existent and gave her a chance to back out. Always the fighter she wanted to hear nothing more about it. I admired how she could have so much trust in us, so much faith in us, in me.

Softly her hands found my face, caressing it so gently that I almost cried. How did I deserved her love when I couldn't give her anything. She told me that she was different that the woman I almost hurt, that she didn't shared my fears. She disarmed me, stripped me off my defenses and when I stood in front of her I couldn't fight this any more. Couldn't fight us any more. Our hands found each other giving me the strength I needed to give her all of me. The puls of her heart and her soft moans created a beautiful serenade in my ears. Every new contact of skin was like a first time feeling, every kiss a reassurance of her Love. Her small hands held so much power, making me a slave of her desires. In her arms it felt like my body, which had been dead and cold for so long came alive, everywhere she touched me, warmth blossomed. And when her warmth turned to fire, opening the cage for my worst fears it only needed a loving caressing of my cheek to tame the beast in me. Her touch, her love was my salvation and slowly she washed away my sins.

So maybe this mysterious encounter with another Woman didn't wanted to leave my mind and I had to write about it... I don't know if we ever get to know more about it, so its just my Imagination. Anybody interested in that?