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Chapter 40

Dean was snoring softly on the couch, the baby wrapped up in his makeshift crib beside the couch on the floor. One of Dean's arms dangled down, his hand resting on the baby's belly.

A prickly feeling on Dean's neck, causing him to twitch in his sleep. He rolled over onto his side, frowning as he woke. The feeling got worse; it felt like he was being watched. Opening his eyes and peering around, he threw the blankets off of himself. There was nothing to be seen in the darkness of the house.

Something rustled in the corner of the room, and Dean's heart jumped into his throat. Reaching over to the light switch, he flicked it on. At the same time he grabbed for his gun on the coffee table.

The figure that stood in the room raised his hand to his eyes at the sudden brightness. Dean froze when he saw who it was, and dropped his gun onto the couch cushions with a soft plop.

He knew it must be a dream, a wonderful dream, when Cas started toward him.

"Dean," he croaked, his voice dry like sand. "Is this..real?"

The hunter took a few steps forward, and they met in the middle. Castiel reached out hesitatingly, placing his hand on Dean's cheek. When he felt the warm skin under his hand and realized it was indeed real, his body grew weak with relief.

Dean was staring at Castiel, as though he still wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not. He slid his hands over Cas' arms, running them down the length of them.

Tears were prickling Cas' eyes, and he threw his arms around the hunter, nuzzling his head into Dean's neck. The hunter hugged him tightly and he still couldn't believe this was real.

"Cas," he whispered in the angel's ear. "How...you were dead. How did you come back?"

Cas was crying into Dean's shoulder, but he heard the question and he choked out in between his sobs, "I don't know, Dean. It was bright...heaven..there were so many doors in this hallway and I chose one...then I was in the garden-"

Prying himself away fom Dean, he looked up, eyes wide with shock. "The Garden. Dean, it was God."

"What?'

"I believe God brought me back."

Dean placed a hand on either side of Cas' face, gazing into his eyes. "Well, whoever it was deserves a big thank you from me."

Cas through his arms around the hunter again, happiness filling his heart. "It is over then? Is Lucifer-"

"Yeah. He's gone 're finally done. We can have a life now." Dean kissed the angel firmly.

"A life." Cas repeated, almost in wonder. He suddenly touched a hand to his stomach and winced slightly. "The baby? Is the baby ok?"

Dean grinned. "Come and see for yourself, babe."

Dean tugged the angel over to the couch. Cas sat down, watching Dean, excitement rising in his face. Dean knelt carefully and picked the baby up from his drawer before sitting next to Cas on the couch.

Cas held his arms out, looking a bit unsure, but Dean guided his arms into the right position as he handed over their son.

"He looks like you," Dean whispered, putting an arm around the angel and holding him closer. Cas stared at the baby, cradled in his embrace and again, it felt like this was just a dream. Dean ran a hand through Cas' hair, and placed a few kisses on his neck and face.

"I didn't name him yet, Cas. I couldn't think of the perfect name."

Cas drew a finger down the baby's cheek and he grabbed the finger in his tiny fist, holding on tight. Grinning, Cas glanced up at Dean. The hunter felt the intense wonder and joy coming from the angel, and it was the best thing he had ever felt.

"I was thinking about names while I was pregnant." Cas said quietly, his finger still in the baby's posession.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? And what did you come up with?"

Cas hesitated, his eyes trained on his son. "I don't know if you'll like it. It's an angel name."

Dean drew his hand down Cas' cheek. Cas closed his eyes, letting his face rest in Dean's warm hand. It had seemed like he had been parted from Dean for an eternity.

"Just spit it out, Cas." Dean said softly. He was sure whatever Cas picked would be great.

"Kamael. An angel who presides over beauty, happiness and contentment. I thought since the baby brought such joy to us, that it would be an ideal name. But if you don't like it-" Cas started to add quickly, but Dean silenced him with a kiss.

"I think it's perfect." Dean had been going over names as well in his head this evening, but nothing that came to mind seemed to fit. "Kamael." he repeated, enjoying the sound of the name. "Kam for short?"

The baby looked at Dean with wide eyes when he spoke the name. It was as if he was giving his approval. The newly named Kamael opened his mouth, yawning widely. His eyelids slowly began to droop, and Dean smiled.

"I think he's tired, Cas. as much as you are." Dean hadn't failed to notice the exhaustion in the angel's face, his paleness, the dark circles under his eyes. He took Kamael gently from Cas and placed him back into his makeshift crib. Reaching down, Cas tucked the blankets tightly around him and bent to place a kiss on his son's forehead.

When he righted himself, leaning back against the couch, he found that Dean was staring at him. The gaze was unblinking, held steady...as if Dean was afraid that when he looked away, Castiel would disappear. The hunter wrappd his arms around the angel, hugging him tightly.

"I had no idea what I was going to do without you. Back on the field, when you died, somethng in me broke, Cas. Like a piece of me disappeared. I knew I would never be the same again."

Cas nuzzled into Dean's neck. "But I'm back now. Does that mean that you're whole again?"

Dean pulled Cas down so that they were both laying horizontal, and dragged the blankets over them both.

"Yeah." he smiled. "I feel as good as new."

Reaching out, Dean tugged at the lightswitch to bring darkness to the room once more. The blackness seemed to cause Cas to draw even closer to him, not out of fear but the need to know that Dean was there even though he couldn't see him.

Dean wrapped an arm around Cas, resting his hand on Cas' stomach, an old force of habit. The angel had his back pressed to Dean's chest, his head resting on the couch cushions that Dean had placed under his head. His eyelids were already starting to flicker shut...Dean's warmth was helping sleep to come quicker.

The hunter reached under Cas' shirt, needing to touch his warm skin, to reassure himself yet again that Cas was really alive. Bumpy stitches rose beneath his fingertips as he brushed them lightly over Cas' stomach. There was a sharp intake of breath from the angel and Dean frowned.

"Cas...what-?"

"It's just the incision, Dean." Cas answered sleepily.

"The incision from the surgery? Why didn't God, or whoever brought you back, heal it?" Dean questioned and his tone contained a bit of anger.

"They brought me back, Dean. Now the healing is up to me."

Dean brushed his fingers against the area around the stitches, which felt somewhat swollen. "So why don't you heal yourself?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew the answer. He had almost forgotten what had landed them in this siuation in the first place. The sight of Cas had drawn the actual cause of his death from Dean's mind...losing his Grace. As Cas spoke, Dean knew exactly what he was going to say.

"Because I'm not an angel anymore, Dean. I'm a human now."

Although Cas stated it quite straight forwardly, there was something in his voice...bitterness, sadness. Dean knew that even though Cas had rebelled from Heaven, had fought against his kin, he still felt bonded to them. Still felt a need to help them, which he could not do anymore. He was no longer a part of Heaven.

"I'm sorry, Cas," Dean said softly, and he truly was. Cas had given up everything he had ever known and believed in to help the Winchesters. Now he had lost part of himself as well..his Grace.

The angel turned in his arms, pressing his face into Dean's chest. The tears were silent but Dean could still feel them soaking through his shirt.

"I love you, Dean, and I wouldn't change it for the world..but it is difficult to realize that my Grace, which made me who I was, is no longer with me. It will be hard to adapt, but I have lived with you these past months as a human. I have learned much and even though there is learning to do, I know that I can be a human with you standing beside me and helping me."

Running his hand through Cas' hair, Dean whispered in his ear," I will do everything that you need me to do, and more."

"Thank you." Cas tucked himself into Dean and the hunter hugged him tightly, making him feel warm and protected, and he knew everything would be alright.

Dean kissed the top of his head lightly, and listened as Cas' breathing slowed after a little while. Soon Cas was asleep, and Dean stared out into the darkness of the room.

Cas might have lost his Grace, but he would always be an angel to Dean.

I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I am GOD! I can bring characters back to life!