So only one episode more and than, this little project part 1 will be done. This Episode really broke my heart, sitting him there taking that pill... so sad! As every day, thanks for reading and reviewing this (Susannah65 and BettyEs this is for you) and I hope you enjoy!
Vincent: I thought we were careful...
Catherine: We were and it's probably negative but we will know in three minutes.
Vincent:
I knew I had the worst reaction to a possible pregnancy ever, but I needed her to understand that, beside the frighting thought about passing my insane DNA on to another poor human being, there wasn't a chance in the world that I wanted to become a father with my life like this. I wouldn't be able to go outside with him, her or maybe thanks to my genetics something other. I could never take it to a park, the zoo or simple to a playground. Couldn't be there for him on his first or last day at school, or any sports game. My father had done all this and I honoured these memories with him all my life, what would my child remember? Thanks Daddy for making me a Freak? For never being there? For hiding me all the time? It couldn't even had my name or it would be hunted just like me. No, there wasn't any possible Prospect were I would let a child pulled into this freaking mess. And while I was seconds away from a panic attack, this stupid Gabe called remembering me that she could have all that way better, with another man. Gabe for example. They would be joyful expecting there first child, he would lovingly caress her belly as she would buy the first shoes. With me she would never have that and as I told her that she said that she didn't wanted a baby right now either. Right now? She needed to understand as sorry as I was this would never be in our future. It hurt that she reminded me that we couldn't even go to a restaurant, as I could forget that. It was like all the doubts I had constantly pushed out of my head came crashing back full force. I had beat myself up with thoughts about our future, always trying to assume when it would stop being enough for her. A Year? Three? At last when her biological clock would start ticking. To stop myself from coming completely depressed I tried to work with what I had, pushed some furniture around, fixed some Lights. And installed the TV so we could make a romantic Movie night here. I tried, hoping it would be enough for just a little longer.
When she came back, completely freaked out I first thought he had finally made a move, asked her out or something like that. Catherine was a beautiful, smart woman and it was just a matter of time until some guy came and tried to take my place, offering her all the things she always said she didn't wanted. But no, she almost hysterically informed me of Gabe's transition, that she saw his turned yellow. I couldn't believe it because he could never be like me and walk around outside, living a normal life. And than she dropped the bomb. Medication, pills. I didn't wanted to trust him, the Idea of talking to him, exposing myself to him was too much of a risk, it made me feel far to vulnerable. Gave him to much power over me. But as I looked at her I saw the excitement, the hope of a normal life starting to shine through her eyes. And besides my bad feeling, tried to trust her judgement. Tried to let me infect with her hope, but all it brought up were memories of the last time I allowed myself to hope. Let's just say it didn't went very well. In the elevator the gunshots just confirmed my intuition. And now he was fully transformed and on a rampage.
When we had finally found him at our place, after we just had searched the whole city for him I was more than just a little shocked. First that there was indeed another one who was like me and than the way he looked, crouched and growled had surprised me. That's was how I looked when I was in beast mode? I never had a chance or the thought to take a look at myself, I knew about the veins and the yellow eyes but seeing Gabe like this... How could she see me like this and not freak out? Not run away? And thank god, he hadn't hurt J.T., I would have killed him. Also this whole tracking device thing, he would have very much explaining to do when he woke up again. When we finally had him under control with his meds it all turned even more strange. He really thought he was the one in the weaker spot, how could he when he could go out with his girl, working in his Job while I had spent the last decade hiding in an old warehouse, observing humanity from afar. He seemed desperate for my help, or more my blood while I wasn't finish making a decision about this situation, helping him and getting a chance with this meds. Would they work? Would they help me? Maybe it would make my life more like his, going outside, working... A Chance to be more normal, more for her. Then, as if she had a spy in my head, Catherine surprisingly changed her mind, after she had pressured me the whole day into trying this, believing it would be the flicker of a chance for us she now said it wasn't worth the risk. But my mind replayed the look of hope in her eyes and I knew, if I had a chance to be better for her, to make her wishes come true I would do anything for it.
J.T.: DNA is not a fancy gadget made in China.
Catherine: I know that you guys worked at a cure for years but now there is someone else with corrupted DNA, too.
J.T.:
She just didn't get it. We had no idea how this pills were working, what they would do to him and he would take them anyway just because she wanted to go to a fucking Movie. So I looked around, careful that he wasn't anywhere near and shared a little of our history. Maybe she would be smarter when she would have more informations. I told her how I had, freshly out of college, given him the first samples. We had worked a year on them, me after school, Vincent in every waking hour. He wanted his life back, more than anything. His Family, Alex. But the side effect had been horrifying, his ears started bleeding, he had headaches 24 hours, he couldn't keep any food down for a week and every day though he demanded the next shot. Nothing changed and the lost hope had made him crush my entire apartment. That's when we had to move in to the warehouse. The next series were short because after the second shot he had almost died through difficulty of breathing. Every new series of shot's had new excruciating surprises, like the one were he spent 3 Month in constant pain but his DNA, his transformations never changed. He was so frustrated, he constantly smashed our stuff, worked out until he almost passed out or just sat somewhere and starred at the wall for hours, days without moving.
We red every book, I had contacted specialists and had gone through every scientific research but after he almost went crazy hearing voices, holding a knife in his hand and threatened to kill me and himself over the last experimental shots, he had enough. He had locked himself in his room for days, sitting in the dark and I could here his sobs through every night. A sound I will never forget. The day he got out of his room was the day he visited his own grave for the first time. When he came home, he had put all our notebooks and research papers away, while I I tried to hinder him until he begged me to stop. Telling me he couldn't take it any more. That was 4 years ago and I never wanted to see this desperate, haunted and broken version of him again. When we now got his hopes up over this stuff, I didn't know if he could take the disappointment. I would check them through, see how they worked and if they could be a solution, but in my gut stayed this uneasy feeling. And sadly I would be right...
Vincent: Now, I probably have five good hours left so can we just enjoy it...
Vincent:
I sat on her bed while holding the bottle of pills in my shaking hand, feeling the sun warming my body. Catherine was still sleeping peacefully behind me. The metallic taste was gone and I could feel my senses reinforce. I wasn't happy about it. Yesterday, in the pool, it had been so amazing, I had felt so unbelievable free. Just going for a swim with my girl, having fun with her and making her smile. With Catherine in my arms and this deep peace within me, I had been brave enough to confess, that I wanted more, so much more. A week before I had never would've talked about it because when I would think it, said it out loud it would never ever go back. And I didn't want to think about all the stuff I could not have, because that meant that she couldn't have them too. A thought that killed me. But for some hours yesterday everything had been possible and while she talked about movies and dinners, my first thought had been her, in a beautiful white dress, walking down the isle towards me. Building her a house, living there with her.
It all burnt away a second after the phone call. Taking the pills would kill me, slowly but they would, J.T. had found out. I wished, I had never known about them. The had given me a few hours of happiness, of hopes and dreams only to take them away in the blink of an eye. But now, all those wishes were inside my head, I had let my walls down, from her and from myself and now they were torturing me. Showing me, what I had wished for and would never get. When we had arrived at her place, we had clung to each other, trying to make these last hours feel like forever. Kissing her desperately, falling into her soft sheets. She had noticed the difference, I had felt it in her reactions, had seen it in her face. Know she knew, how truly restrained I had been with her, how I held myself back every time I was with her. I know, I had promised to not take another one. But it felt like a drug, I knew it would destroy me but they promised me happiness for a small time. Enough time to make another wish of her come true. Just for a few hours so I could take her to the movies like a normal man.
So with one last look on her, I took the pill. I wanted to be good for her, be normal for her no matter the cost. Just for a little bit more. She deserved someone, who could give her everything and I would happily die while making her happy.
Later in that dirty alley I apologized to her. Thank god she wasn't to upset with me, maybe because she thought, getting my ass kicked earlier at her apartment was enough punishment. Who would have known that these guys choose that morning for her attack. I had wanted to help her, safe her but without my beast I wasn't really a threat. I had relied so much on my animal instincts and the strengths that came with it that I had forgot how to fight. That realization had hurt, really hurt. The look in her eyes when she asked again why, I just couldn't bear. So I told her how much I was scared of loosing her. Of not being enough for her and how much I wished to be able to give her a brighter future. But again she reassured that she would always be by my side, that she wouldn't leave. Maybe someday I would believe...