"Sit. Still." Lightning growled as Fang started drumming her hands on her knees for about the twentieth time that morning. The Pulsian leant over to kiss her partner, only to have the scowling soldier move away from her. "I'm serious."
"So am I. About making a move on you, I mean."
There was the quietest of snorts from Vanille, who was sitting behind them on the couch. She was reading through copious amounts of data on a tablet and tried to ignore their conversation. She'd been granted leave to come back to the house to work on both the ship schematics and what she referred to as a "personal research project"- not willing to give anything away about Fang's current… Predicament.
"Focus. Please." Lightning implored, closing her eyes and settling back into her own meditations.
"I am focused," Came Fang's breathy response that tickled her ear, "Focused on taking this meditation session to the bedroom…" Lightning sighed, fighting to maintain her own concentration with Fang so close and making quiet purring sounds in her ear. Her eyes snapped open and she pushed the agitating brunette back with her index finger and glared.
"For the love of… Stop deflecting. I've seen you meditating in the lounge room before, why is this difficult for you now?"
Fang rolled her eyes and tutted at the pinkette, stretching out her shoulders and arms in the process. "I don't know, because maybe I am filled with less peace and tranquillity and more the knowledge that there's a monster under my skin threatening to jump out and tear everything to shreds in a five-hundred-mile radius?"
She suddenly stood and walked over to the window, folding her arms with a huff. "This is serious, Light. It's one thing to suffer from the battle-sickness… Post-traumatic stress or whatever you lot call it. But it's something completely different when it could literally cost someone their life because I can't control Ragnarok."
"Then learn to control it," Lightning said, moving up alongside her. "Yours is a very literal beast. But the core of the coping strategies is the same. You've never shied away from a fight before, so don't start now."
The redhead pondered the implications of what it could mean to get Ragnarok under control. If Fang could get a handle on the transformations and somehow manage to keep her wits about her, she would be a formidable weapon in and of herself. It would definitely come in handy with the mission they were about to embark on.
She glanced over at the tension in her sister's shoulders and hummed. Lightning caught the sound and turned to face her. "Something ticking over there?" She asked, and Vanille nodded.
"Yup. She's holding back because she's scared of turning into Ragnarok and losing control."
"I'm not-" Fang began to protest, but the pointed stares from both women had her shutting up with a pout.
"Fang, if you're hesitating you're not going to be able to control it when the time comes that its necessary. Hesitation costs lives, as I recall you drilling into my head back in Oerba. I think we're tackling this the wrong way."
Lightning already had an inkling as to where this conversation was going, she had already thought it through. She winced, watching the brunette's reaction as the realisation began to dawn.
"No. Vanille, no. You can't be serious."
"I know you're not going to like it any better but we're left with little choice and honestly? We don't have time. As soon as the ship is operational it's leaving port for the west. If you aren't ready in that time, you'll be left behind because we can't risk it." Vanille said sharply, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. She stepped forward and held onto her sister's hands.
"But… 'Nille, what if…"
"We can't get you to focus on the change if you are so scared of it, we need to focus on getting you calm when you're already in the form. Then we can work on controlling your shifts into Ragnarok without you freaking the hell out about it."
Lightning's fingers trailed along the back of Fang's neck, causing the brunette to shiver slightly. "Come on, you know we'll face whatever comes, but you are more than the bullshit graffiti on the ship. They didn't know you like I do."
Fang took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Now that she was intrinsically aware of it, she could feel the power of Ragnarok brimming just below her skin. If she didn't find a way to face it, it would overrun her and be her ruin. It wasn't quite the same feeling as when she was a L'cie, there was something more fragmented, more chaotic about it rather than it feeling like it was a part of her.
"Ok. Ok… We'll give it a go. No way you're leaving me behind."
With a brilliant smile, Lightning leant forward and kissed Fang's forehead. "Couldn't have you miss out on your sky pirate fantasies after all…"
"I'd like to register my strong objection to this entire plan?" Fang's voice crackled through the speakers in the lab, and Vanille switched on the microphone with a roll of her eyes.
"Your complaint has been registered." The redhead drawled, and Lightning's lips thinned as she stood at the window of the facility below. Fang was in a small but durable space, practically wearing a hole in the floor as she paced. Watching from behind the two-way mirror, Lightning managed to tear her eyes away from her partner for five seconds to look at the young Pulsian at the desk.
"This uh, this lab is secure, right? That mirror is shatter-proof?"
Vanille simply shrugged as she punched in a few more configurations into the console. "Nothing is absolute in this life Lightning, don't start asking me to make them now." She replied wryly. Lightning raised an eyebrow at the glib response and went to chastise the Pulsian. Vanille seemed to anticipate it and headed her off at the pass.
"I'm not a complete idiot Light, there is a massive risk doing this. If the containment doesn't hold, if she isn't able to get a hold of herself, if she… Doesn't come back. We're in complete uncharted territories and I'm terrified. So please don't take my flippant comments to mean I don't care about what's about to happen. Fang," Vanille then flicked the microphone back on and addressed her sibling, "Keep talking to us until you feel you can't anymore, it can be about anything."
"Does what I did to Lightning the other night count as a topic?"
"Fang," Lightning warned with an exasperated tone. Vanille stifled a giggle and took a deep breath before pushing a button on the console.
"What? I was going to talk about the fact that I got distracted reading and burnt dinner, which forced you to go out and pick up groceries after your shift at work. What were you thinking I was referring to?"
The blush on the soldier's face was intense and she kept gaping like a fish, trying to think of a retort. Vanille muted the microphone and kept her voice low. "Keep her talking, Light. It's important she doesn't catch onto the sedatives we're pumping into the room."
"Sedatives?" Lightning queried, a growing concern settling in her gut.
"It needs to be spontaneous, if she's semi-sedated her body will be more likely to react on instinct, and more likely to shift into the Ragnarok form. Plus, hopefully, the sedation will keep her contained."
Hopefully, Lightning's mind repeated as she flicked the microphone on. "Hey, Fang?"
"Yeah, babe."
The pinkette smiled at the term of endearment, her partner likely not even aware she'd said it. "That song I hear you humming sometimes, when you're sitting in the loungeroom of a morning. What is it?"
There was a moment of silence and they watched as Fang looked around her with a flutter of her eyelids. "It's an old hymn. About a girl who prayed at the feet of a Fal'Cie to be sent home as her focus, so she could forever watch over her homestead in crystal sleep. The Fal'Cie gave pity on her and…" Fang suddenly trailed off, stumbling forward a little. Her eyelids felt heavy and her limbs were slow to move. "Oh I see, try to knock me out will you… No… No dessert for you later… 'Nille…"
The redhead smiled sadly in the safety of the booth, and hovered her hands over a switch. "I apologise in advance, Fang." She said quietly and flicked it on, causing a hum to reverberate in the room. "The tones generate at a level that triggers the fight or flight response in the brain, we'll see if it's enough to do the job." The brunette winced and tripped forward, pressing against the wall as it vibrated from the noise. She groaned and pressed at her head as the low tones assaulted her ears.
"What're you… Try'na… Get at… Red menace…." Her vision swam and her heartbeat rose, panic beginning to settle into her mind. It was a cruel method, she realised, that they were effectively forcing her into a state where she would be sedated enough to not think, not overanalyse. Fang bared her teeth at the ceiling and snarled at the speakers. This was happening whether she liked it or not.
There'd be a time for forgiveness later. Right now, she was pissed. With an uneasy glance down she saw the first of her nails shifting into claws, savage talons growing from her fingertips. Her ribs shifted, the popping sounds making her ill as she grimaced in pain. When Fang was back in Oerba, she didn't even recall becoming Ragnarok. One moment she was reaching for Lightning, the next scrambling away from her. This was… This was definitely a sensation she'd prefer to forget.
The Pulsian's cry of pain pierced through the speakers, and both women leant forward trying to keep an eye on her as she fell forward in front of the mirror. "Fang? Fang!" Vanille yelled into the mic, while Lightning held her breath and tried to remain calm.
A massive clawed hand suddenly slammed against the glass, startling them both. Fang was no longer in the booth, only Ragnarok remained.
"Fang, if you can hear me, give me some sort of sign you're still in there…" The redhead called out, watching the savage form snarl at her reflection from the other side of the mirror. Lightning moved in front of the glass and held her hand up against it, her hand absolutely dwarfed by the blue and orange one on the other side. Ragnarok seemed to be contemplating its own reflection in the mirror, like there was some semblance of higher intelligence somewhere in that rage-filled mind.
When Vanille called for her sister again, Ragnarok reeled back and growled at the speaker on the wall. Roaring in anger, it leapt forward and started clawing at the cage, trying to tear the speaker from its housing and destroy it. Then going on a rampage in the confined space, it began to claw at the walls and attack the glass.
"Light, the sedatives aren't doing anything to slow her down… we're pumping them at full capacity into the cell and it's having no effect."
The pinkette looked over the scene and unconsciously drifted her fingers over the hilt of her gunblade. She hoped it wouldn't come to this, but then by the same token, it was how it had to happen.
"Vanille, open the door, I'm going in."
The redhead stared at her incredulously, her nose crinkling in outrage. "Look, just because you're sleeping with my sister doesn't mean you have to try to match her levels of insanity."
Lightning ground her teeth and exhaled forcefully through her nose. "Just. Open. The door. Vanille." She growled and marched through the door to the hallway. Standing at the door to the cell on the other side, the soldier took a few moments to steady her breath. Her hands shook and she focused on slowing her heartbeat. It wasn't Fang in there right now, but something that was intent on destroying the brunette. Lightning wouldn't allow it.
"Right. Open it."
The door slid open and the pinkette strode into the cell, finding Ragnarok snarling and spitting with rage at the intrusion. Lightning gave a quick glance around the room, eyeing off how little space they had to manoeuvre. "Fang, I don't want to hurt you, but if you don't calm down you're going to go down. Hard."
The beast merely growled, the sound guttural and threatening low in its throat. Suddenly it shot forward, claws outstretched with lethal intent. Lightning slid out of the way just in time as the hulking body crashed into the door. The soldier immediately unsheathed her blade and parried every dangerous slashing of talons that came close to her, a few times catching on her uniform and tearing the fabric.
She couldn't let Ragnarok win. This was Fang's greatest fear, and Lightning needed to prove that she was stronger. That she could overcome the raw power and rage spewing forth from the monster. Lightning gave a determined smile and ran up the wall as she was pursued, flipping over the beast with agile grace.
"Come on Fang, either snap out of it or catch me. I haven't got all day." Lightning called out, beckoning Ragnarok with a crook of her finger. The beast's eyes narrowed, frowning as if absorbing the quip. It shook its head, its long mane moving about like waves. There was the briefest glimmer of recognition in the white eyes, a barely noticeable twitch of facial features before dropping back underneath the mask.
Ragnarok leapt forward again with a roar, anticipating Lightning's dodge and slammed into her torso with its tail. It sent the pinkette careening into the wall, and she hit the floor with a thud. Barely having time to roll out of the way, Lightning just managed to miss getting her face clawed and stood, clutching at her ribs.
"So, you're smart enough to adapt to my fighting style, but not smart enough to overcome the beast? Really, Fang?" Lightning drawled, annoyed at the ludicrousness of the situation. She sucked in a pained breath, and counted at least two broken ribs from the pangs in her chest. "You are going to owe me more than a foot rub later on, you know…"
Trying to heal herself as she avoided the talons coming down at her, she cried out as one decisive slash hit its mark, drawing angry red lines along her stomach. Lightning was fed up with the proceedings, and snarled back at Ragnarok. "You asshole!"
In a move that startled the beast, Lightning threw her sword straight at it, and then lurched forward and clocked it on the jaw. It seemed to knock the monster off kilter, and it staggered backwards. Lightning stalked it and forced it into the corner with a savage growl from her own lips. If Fang wasn't going to respond with reason, she'd speak the language of the beast as well.
Ragnarok eyed the pinkette warily and raised its upper lip in defiance of the soldier, earning a shove back into the corner of the cell.
"Enough!" Lightning snapped, picking up her blade and pressing the sharp curve against the beast's throat. "Enough, Fang. Please." She repeated a little quieter. The choked sob that came from her throat caused Ragnarok to tense, then press back a little as Lightning leant forward and wrapped her arms around the beast's neck. "Please come back to me…" Lightning whispered in the beast's ear, feeling the tears slip from her cheeks onto its shoulder.
The pinkette moved back as she heard a low whine escaped Ragnarok's throat. The eyes were still white and the beast was still very present, but Fang could be seen behind the eyes, in the concerned crease of the blue brow. "There you are..." Lightning murmured with a smile and leant forward to kiss Ragnarok on the lips, knowing the brunette was in there to feel it.
The beast looked down at the clawed hands that trembled a little. Lightning patted the back of one gently while she used her other hand to heal her injuries. "Good thing I like you, Fang. Anyone else did this to me and I'd be having some pretty stern words..."
A low repetitive huff came from the monster, and she realised it was laughing. "Oh, you think that's funny do you?" Ragnarok replied by nuzzling into her neck with a sound that resembled a purr. Lightning ran a tentative hand through the orange and white mane that protruded from the top of its head and was surprised by the softness. As she continued stroking the mane, it gave way to dark hair and a far more familiar lithe form. Fang looked up at Lightning from her place buried in the pale neck and wrapped her arms around her waist tightly.
"I'm so sorry, Light..." she whispered, her voice strained. Planting delicate kisses along the soldier's jaw, trying to make up for the injuries she'd unwittingly inflicted. Lightning smiled and ran her hands down the bare spine, shielding her dignity from the cameras and Vanille as best she could. The pinkette guided Fang's gaze up by the jaw and kissed her gently, reassurance that all was fine, even if she did feel a little tender after the beating at the hands of Ragnarok. This was what she signed up for after all.
"Now you know what it's like to completely lose control. Now, we can work our way back from there. You owe me dinner. Try not to burn it this time. You ready to go again?"
Fang's eyes looked fearful, but she still closed her eyes and nodded regardless. "Vanille, hit the noise again," Lightning called out and kissed the brunette once more for good measure. "I'm right here, Fang. Where you go, I go."
She let go and moved back to get a safe distance between them as Fang mentally prepared herself for another onslaught. The noise started again and rattled her skull. She clenched her jaw as the familiar feelings rose again, and once more she moved forward onto her hands and knees as the transformation took over. Before too long, a growling Ragnarok was back, crouched dangerously in front of the pinkette.
"Come on, Fang. You've got this. I know you do. I don't give my heart to people not willing to fight for it."
The beast's brow raised and eyes widened. There was a swish of the enormous tail, as if contemplative. Suddenly it brought its tail around, knocking Lightning off her feet. Ragnarok was on her in seconds, leaning ominously over the soldier. Lightning swallowed hard and stared into the ice white eyes that considered her. A twitch of its lip showed teeth ready to snap at her with a low growl, and Vanille was yelling out from inside the booth in a blind panic.
"Vanille, easy. Just, wait a minute." Lightning said slowly and quietly to silence the redhead, gesturing at the beast on top of her. "You're in there, I know. You're just feeling things out. It's ok. I'm not going anywhere, remember?"
Suddenly the piercing gaze softened and Ragnarok leant forward with a smile. Lightning tensed, for the briefest moment fearing the worst before she felt lips press against her own. Her eyes opened and she found the beast threading the most gentle of claws through her pale hair.
Lightning had a fleeting thought of whether this would be considered cheating if it wasn't technically Fang, but there was the lowest tone of a chuckle from the throat of the beast that all but confirmed that it was Fang, gaining control.
"This better not be an introduction to the bedroom in that form, Fang… I have… Limits." She said once they'd parted for air, Ragnarok licking her lips.
"What can I… Say…" The beast replied, in Fang's voice but raspier, deeper, harsher than the usual melodious accent, "Like to… Keep you on… Edge… More ways… Than one…"
Lightning's eyebrows rose and she smacked the beast on the chest. "You're a cheeky shit." She replied with a scowl, pushing Ragnarok off her.
Vanille sat at the console in the booth, her head in her hands. "Children. I am surrounded by children." She complained to an empty room.
AN - Thank you so much for your patience while I got through some more of this story! I mentioned over on my tumblr a few weeks back that I had an issue with continuing the next arc of the story because this was originally a cross-over fic before I ended up doing that with I2D (This was started first). I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that again so the updates on this stalled a little while I plotted the next course of action! I think I'm nearly where I want to be, so I'm moving ahead with what I can for the interim!