Chapter 57

Kam had been fed, changed and put in his pajamas after dinner before being tucked away to bed. Dean was standing by the side of the crib, watching his eyelids droop over the blue pupils.

Bobby had voiced concern about Sam and Amber not being back yet, but Dean wasn't worried. Usually when Sam was in trouble he got an odd tight feeling in his stomach. He knew his brother was just off having fun with his girlfriend. Lots of fun, if what Amber had said earlier in the day was true.

Kam's eyes were completely shut now, but Dean continued to stare at his perfect little face. A familiar hand slid suddenly under his shirt to rest on the small of his back.

"He's so beautiful, Cas." Dean said softly, talking to his mate behind him.

Cas smiled and rubbed his hand along Dean's back. "I know."

He rested his chin on Dean's shoulder and glanced down at Kam as well. They stayed like that for a good ten minutes, watching as Kam's breath slowed, and his chest rose and fell. His new bear was tucked in with him, and he gripped its' leg tightly in his sleep.

"This is like a dream, Cas. I never thought I would be a father..I never wanted to. Now, I can't imagine how I didn't want a kid."

"I never thought I would have any of this." Cas countered, smiling. " This whole journey with you has been surreal, starting with the very first time I touched you in Hell."

Dean turned around to kiss Cas hungrily. "You have no idea how much I love you."

"I think I do, Dean. You have given me everything I ever wanted..things I didn't even know that I wanted."

Dean lowered his head to Cas' neck, placing kisses and soft nips there. Cas let out a low moan and Dean pushed him toward the bed. Falling onto the soft mattress, Cas gave Dean an apprehensive glance.

"Kam's in here, Dean-"

"Don't worry. No funny business. I promise." Dean plopped next to Cas so they were laying face to face. He began peppering Cas' face and neck with kisses, and brought his hands under the hem of Cas' shirt to hold tightly to his hips.

Taking a sharp inward breath, Cas almost drew away. "Dean-"

"I know. I'm not doing anything." He was barely controlling himself at the moment; he wanted to rip all of Castiel's clothes off. Instead he contented himself with running his hands further up Cas' stomach, and they came upon the rough stitches there.

"We should take those out, Cas." he said quietly, drawing up Cas' shirt and moving down to look. The area looked completely healed now. Cas swallowed hard as Dean kissed the area softly and teasingly, moving down near the lip of Cas' pants.

"Dean-" Cas repeated warningly, but weakly and without any real reprimand.

Dean moved back up to place a quick kiss on Cas' lips, grinning mischieviously as though he knew of the pleasurable shivers that he had just sent through Cas' body with his kisses. "Be right back. I'm going to take those out for you now, alright?"

Cas rolled over onto his back as Dean left the room. It felt so human to have the stitches stuck in his skin. It was so hard to adjust to the fact that he could not just snap his fingers and heal himself the day he often found himself concentrating and trying to do something using his Grace, only to remember that he was no longer an angel.

Dean came back with some tweezers and a small scissor. He pulled up a chair next to the bed.

"Have you done this before?" Cas asked skeptically as Dean lifted his shirt up so he could work.

"Yeah. I've done it on Sam, and myself, a few times." Dean said easily, and leaned down with the scissor to start snipping at the knots in the stitches.

Cas' body was very tense, so Dean paused. "It's alright, Cas. It doesn't hurt. Trust me..I know from experience."

Reaching over to the nightable, he flicked the radio on so it played softly.

"Just listen to the music and relax, babe."

Closing his eyes, Cas let himsefl sink into the blankets. Dean was very gentle; Cas only felt an odd sensation here and there as Dean pulled out the many stitches. After a while, there was a small pile of black pieces on top of the quilt. Dean pulled out the last one triumphantly and added it to the top of the pile.

"They're all out."

Cas blinked his eyes blearily; he had actually started to fall asleep. Dean dumped the stitches into the garbage can and tossed the tweezer and scissors onto the night table. Cas shivered as Dean ran two fingers along the long scar on Cas' stomach.

"Can't do anything about that, though." Dean said quietly, and he bent to place kisses all the way up the mark. Cas shivered at the touch.

The hunter laid his head on Cas' chest, breathing softly, and Cas dug his fingers into Dean's hair.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm so glad that I was the angel assigned to pull you from perdition."

Dean rested his chin on cas' chest so that he could look up at him. " So am I."

There was an odd sound from outside, like a car motor struggling to keep going. It stopped quickly, and a minute later they heard the front door open.

Somebody was bounding up the stairs, and Dean heard Sam hissing, "Amber, they might be asleep-"

Dean had left their door ajar, and Amber suddenly popped in. "Dudes! I bought a car!"

Sam came in behind her, and stopped at the sight on Cas lying in bed with his shirt pulled up.

"I was taking out his stitches." Dean said before either of them got the wrong idea. Grasping Cas' hem, he dragged the shirt down to cover his skin.

"We're going to have our own metallicar!" Amber squealed, dancing around Sam. "It's in pretty good shape for the price-"

"Do you believe this whole time she had a bank account full of cash? And she let me pay for dinner." Sam huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Firstly, there wasn't that much, and secondly I just withdrew it all and split it with you." Amber waved her hand in the air. "But that's besides the point. We can make it just like the Impala, with a secret trunk compartment and everything!"

"Wait a minute." Dean stood, eyeing his brother. "What is she talking about?"

"Hunting, Dean. Duh." Amber interrupted, shaking her head in exasperation at Dean's lack of understanding. "We're going to be hunting, so we need a car to get around."

"You're going to hunt with Amber?" Dean repeated slowly, clearly addressing Sam this time.

The younger Winchester rubbed his neck. "Yeah. She doesn't want to go back to her old life, so I offered to teach her. Then she saw the car for sale...I couldn't talk her out of it. Odd thing was the previous owner was actually parked at the same motel we checked into. We met him when we left."

Sam shifted uncomfortably before continuing. "We were actually going to hit the road tomorrow...I found a simple case a few towns over for her first hunt."

There was a hollow feeling in the pit of Dean's stomach as sam's words washed over him. He felt like he was being replaced, and by Amber of all people. Cas reached out and touched his hand reassuringly.

Dean forced a smile onto his face for the sake of his brother. "Great. Now you have someone to watch your back."

Sam knew that Dean was upset and felt rejected. The plain truth was that Dean wasn't going to be doing any hunting anytime soon. Sam could hunt on his own but it got lonely. It was also better to have a second pair of eyes when doing reasearch or when going into a situation that was dangerous, which was pretty much a hundred percent of the time in hunting.

He wasn't going to argue, wasn't going to try and make Dean feel better. This was what Dean wanted, to be normal. What did he expect would happen? For Sam to drop everything and become their maid?

"We'll see you in the morning, ok?" Sam said quietly, pulling Amber out by the hand and closing the door behind them.

"Dean?" Cas tightened his grip on the hunter's hand. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Dean said easily, but Cas could detect that he was upset. Dean let himself fall into bed beside Cas. He threw the covers over them and flicked out the light.

Cas was perplexed; after everything they had been through together, Dean was still trying to hide his feelings. He heard Dean sigh softly in the dark, and he wished that they were joined by his Grace so he could feel Dean's emotions.

The hunter suddenly wrapped his arms around Cas and held him close, burying his face into the crook of Cas' neck. There was silence between them, but Cas could feel Dean shaking behind him.

Turning in Dean's arms, Cas pressed his lips to Dean's and whispered against them. "It's okay. Everything will be alright."

Dean did not reply, so Cas kissed him again and spoke soothingly into the darkness of the room. The shaking stopped after a few minutes, but Cas remained where he was, pressed tightly to Dean.

"I love you, Cas. Nothing could make me change the decisions that I made for you and Kam. Nothing."

The words were firm and decisive, but Cas couldn't help but feel that Dean was trying to convince himself with them as well. Cas knew that he wanted everyone to be together, but it couldn't work that way. Sam was going to make his own path, and it was obviously not here with them.

"Sam will be ok, Dean. I know he will."

Dean snorted into his pillow. With Amber by his side? Not only was he being replaced, but also being replaced by a newbie who didn't even know how to shoot a gun. Sam would not have a chance.

"Go to sleep. Everything will be better tomorrow." Cas kissed the tip of Dean's nose and snuggled into the hunter. Dean's eyes stayed wide open while Cas' slowly closed. There was no way he was getting any sleep tonight.