Devotion 4
Edward was back in his flat in twenty minutes. He hadn't eaten the spaghetti. He'd gone into Shaniqua's room and looked at her trolls, her sparkly shoes, the bracelets she made with the help of Aunt Alice, her vacation Bible school cross made out of Popsicle sticks and twine.
Sisters. He knew how that could go. Women could be hard on one another. These two were vicious. Shaniqua was a source of discord. Maybe jealousy. And he presented a threat and reached into their fear and history by standing in the room, invading their space. He was a clear pervert far as Alice was concerned. Old wounds, and fresh wounds. Funny, he was more in sympathy with Alice. She should be suspicious. Bella was too open.
I knew every inch of him.
Edward had a theory. The guy that was in this flat before him had provided Bella a refuge. An escape from 3B. It was just a guess.
Shaniqua was hers. She must have had her young. Alice seemed close to the girl. Her watchdog. Shaniqua hardly noticed their arguing. Already, it was normal to the child? Seemed so. What had it been like for her, Bella holing up with the man in his apartment. The courtyard was all she had, Alice had said. Had they watched from outside, Shaniqua in the courtyard, Alice in the third story window? Did Alice hate Edward because the other guy was abusive? A pedophile? Had Bella let in a pedophile? Yeah. He got Alice.
His mind wanted a problem to work but he lacked the initiative to work it.
Bella was a walking disaster.
Speaking of, he saw her crossing the courtyard for work. He turned to the boxes again lest she think he was spying but he knew she was passing his windows now. He knew…
A knock on his door. He crossed without hesitation.
She stood there holding a plate covered in a bread wrapper.
"Oh…you shouldn't have..," he said.
"You didn't eat! You snuck out like that? Seriously?" she said.
She was mad.
When he'd finished looking at Shanni's treasures they were still arguing. Bella held onto the arms of Alice's chair, her nose two inches from her sister's. He left.
"Look," she said. She shoved the plate at him and he took it. "Look. We fight like that...it's the south side coming out. You know? We ah…we don't get along. She blames me…for her life. And I…blame her for mine. So what are you gonna do?"
"You don't have to…"
"She said some stuff up there…her mouth just goes sometimes. I can't shut her up! She gets that thing going in her mind, you know? Now it's pedophiles. The building could be full of them. We don't know you. She didn't used to be this way. Her world is like…it's small, you know?"
"Why didn't you take this apartment? Ground floor…"
"You think I've got the extra five hundred for ground floor?" she threw her hair over her shoulder and Edward tried not to stare, but he did. He looked her up and down. Behind a bar she'd be trapped under so many staring eyes. She had everything they wanted. Perfect.
"You hearing me?"
"Yes," he said.
"Edward. Come on. She said we didn't have food before grocery day. Things like that. We have food, all right? My kid has food."
"She's a great kid," he said softly. He hadn't heard Alice say anything about food. He'd tried to listen to Shanni. He'd tried to wrap it up and get out. But the little girl had gotten to him. So many things had flooded him there. In the room she shared with her mother.
Bella.
"You eat that before it's cold. Some welcome wagon, huh?"
"Thanks." He was out of words.
"Hey. What gives with you? You're like…really sad," she said. "I don't have any time, but I know how to cheer it up a little in there. Like I could give you tips or something. Marvin had this place looking really nice."
"I'm a..," he rubbed the back of his neck and looked around. She grabbed at the plate because he'd forgotten to hold it straight and nearly dumped it.
"What gives with you?" she said, her fingers tight around his wrist. She wanted to get personal? Man, she was all over. If she looked too close, like now, he'd cut this off so fast.
"You better get going," he said. "You don't want to be late."
They stared at one another for a beat. "How do you know? Maybe I want to be late. Do I need you to tell me, Edward? Think about it." She was smiling, but she was serious, too.
She was a fighter. And he had no need to play defense. Drama queen.
"I'm not…you don't have to worry about Shanni. I would never…I'm clean."
"Clean? You recovered?"
"No. No. I meant…no record. Not a pedophile. You can tell Alice. I'll keep to myself. I…won't trouble the waters."
She stared again. "Can I be blunt?" She didn't wait for an answer. He didn't think she could be anything else anyway. "You have a fineness about you. Maybe it's a stick up your ass, no offense. I don't have it figured out. But I see all types. And I've seen something like you but never something like you, either. I'm not going to lie. I come home, I'm beat. But sometimes…a little something to settle me down…you know? I could knock. And that's it. We don't need to talk about it. Yes or no?"
"Drugs?" he said stupidly. It made immediate sense under the circumstances, that she'd want to do drugs over offering her body. But he already knew, that's exactly what she offered.
"Sex, Edward." She held his stare. No problem and no shame.
"I…look, Bella…"
"You look a minute. I'm a very warm person. Very warm. But I start it with some of the guys at Vibe and it gets ugly. I've done that, some idiot sitting at the bar thinking we're…married or something. Fights. I lose my job. No thanks.
"I want something quiet. On the side. They don't know about it. I'm good in the sack, Edward. I know my way around. I'll put a smile on that sad mug of yours." She didn't laugh. She meant this.
He had to laugh so he could breathe. "Wow. You don't even know me."
"Hey, don't judge. Your parts work?"
"What?"
"Your parts work? You clean…there? I am. I get tested."
He laughed again. "I'm clean," he said, then regretted it. "I mean…"
"So clean," she laughed. "Everything is clean."
"Bella…go to work. You've had a…you're stressed. And a…thanks for the food."
"You offended? I know what you're thinking. You want to pretend you're put out. I can tell when a man looks at me. You want sex."
"What?"
"You want sex. It's normal, right? I mean…we look good together. I'm attracted to you. Right off."
He took in a breath. "Okay. Enough. I'll ah…get your dish back."
"You pissed off? Just think about it," she said moving her hand along her side, like showing the goods he'd been oggling all day. "I gotta admit, I don't usually have to work this hard."
"Goodnight, Bella." He eased the door closed then. Something hit it, hard, low enough to be a kick. He walked away, went to the kitchen and set down the plate. He peeled the wrapper off. It had been slit along the side to make a flat. Poor man's Saran Wrap. It got to him. His hands were shaking. Everytime he wanted to let them go…
He hurried to the window and watched Bella walk to her car. She drove a beat up Focus. The car looked thirsty. Figured.
They were struggling. Alice was trapped on 3 and the child played in the courtyard and Bella worked the bar and asked a stranger if she could whore for some diversion? He didn't want to know this. Not any of it. But then, it was yanking him into another world…no the same world. Only he was different here. He wasn't anchored to anything. He wasn't safe.
He was barely aware of shoving a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth.
This was their argument, then. Between Alice and Bella. This was what they fought about.
Guys like he was now.
What was he now?