Devotion 10
It took fifteen minutes for Bella to knock on Edward's door. It was fierce knocking. Not fit for three a.m. or p.m.
He put on his shirt and undid the chain and opened up.
She was livid. He saw that.
"You've gone too far. One word from me and those guys out there will kick your ass," she said.
"I saw the gun," he said. That didn't take her wind, but it calmed her down for a beat or two.
"So? Everyone in this building owns a gun."
"Not everyone," he said, as interested in his own words as she seemed to be.
He started to button his shirt, and her eyes went to his hands.
"You upset her. You upset Alice," she said, her eyes so dark with emotion.
"Yeah." He stood back. "Come in," he said.
She hesitated. "Why?"
"My windows are open. You can call for your boys if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable."
"I'm not afraid of you," she said breezing past him. He closed his eyes for a moment and quietly closed the door.
She walked a few feet in and turned, arms folded. "You're giving us shit, Edward. I'm not going to take it. You had no right to go up to my apartment. You know I don't want you there. And she sure as hell don't. This is my kid, Edward. My kid!"
"I have something..," he said.
"What?" she said, her hands going to her hips. "Are you hearing me?"
Unfortunately, he heard her. She made no sense but he wasn't trying to straighten that out.
He went in the kitchen and retrieved the bag. She waited in the living room. In seconds he was handing her the purchase from the hardware store.
"What's this shit?" she said taking the bag with both hands. She quickly pulled the box from the bag letting the plastic sack drift to the floor. She opened the box and looked inside, then read the box and looked at him. "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"
"It's a lock-box. For the gun. It's a cheap one, but it could save a life," he said.
She stared at him, then at the box, and at him once more. Then she thrust the box toward him. "Take this. I don't need this. And if I do, I'll buy it."
Edward put his hands up in surrender. "Take it."
"Shanni knows not to touch the gun. I'm not an idiot, Edward. Why do you keep making me feel like such a piece of shit?"
He thought about her lovely mouth. Her lips were guileless when they were closed. But now that he knew her…enough, he was amazed at how they twisted when she yelled at him.
"Shanni is a good kid. I see that. But what about the other kids? This place is full of little idiots who could steal that gun."
"They'd have to get past Alice!"
"It happens all the time. I've seen it. It puts Shanni in peril. You raised your kid to know better, good for you. But that girl she plays with, those punks that sprayed the hose in her face? Who is raising them? Lock up the damn gun. Please."
She was chewing her lip, her eyes burning into him. "You want to start with all the things around here that could hurt Shanni? You don't have enough ideas to keep my baby safe. But I do. I've kept her safe for eight years, Edward. And Alice would die for my girl."
"This is a no-brainer, Bella."
"You saying I'm stupid, Edward? Again?"
"No. You're taking it wrong. I'm saying to take the box. It's a gift."
"I don't want no fucking gift from you," she said. Wow. What had he really done to be the object of this much hate?
"Look…Bella. You're right. You're right. There's a lot out there. Bad stuff. But this is one thing. One thing that could happen. I've seen it."
"You keep saying you've seen it. You a doctor or something?" The anger had leeched an infinitesimal crumb. He was a pro at feeling this stuff.
"No. But I've been around death. Accidents."
"So I'm supposed to calm your fears too? Like I don't have enough to take care of?"
"No. It's for Shanni."
"And why are you even thinking on my daughter again?"
"I'm thinking on the gun. And Alice. She threw a box out the window. It could have hit Shanni."
"Alice would…"
He spoke over her, "It didn't. But it wasn't a good decision."
"Are you threatening us?" Rage again.
"No. I'm just telling you what happened. As the parent. You're the parent. I'd want to know if she was…mine."
"She's not yours. Creep."
"No. She's not mine. But Alice has a temper…" He let that hang.
"What was she supposed to do? Ever since Jasper got out, he won't leave her alone!"
He wasn't up to this conversation. All the new feeling, fragile though it was, that had opened in him since standing up to Alice ran right out of the soles of his feet. He couldn't do this with Bella. He was digging in so deep. In the morning…the other morning where people actually functioned, he'd look for another place.
"You call DCFS or something on me I swear to God, Edward…"
"No. That's not what this is. It's okay. Do what you want. I tried." He walked toward her to usher her out.
"You mean it? You're not going to call?"
"No."
"Alice is…I told you she can get going. I said that if you'll remember."
"Yeah. You said that," he said, so tired. He put his fingertips lightly on her arm, to turn her toward the door.
"Listen. I know…the gun shouldn't be out. I get it. But…Alice would never lock it up. It's the only thing that makes her feel safe. You know?"
She was coming down off that high red mountain she'd come in on. But he didn't care.
"Are you listening? The gun is holstered on her leg. All day. All night."
"What?" he said, all attempts to push her out on hold.
"That's why…no one will steal it. She wears it all the time."
"And this comforts you?" he said, his head moving side to side.
"No. I mean…in a way. Alice won't hesitate to keep Shanni safe."
That's if she could survive Aunt Alice. But he didn't say that now. He was out of words again. Drained.
Bella looked around. "Marvin was a good guy. I miss him, you know? He ah…he was a watcher, too."
A watcher? Was it becoming his MO?
"You haven't asked about Jasper," she said.
He got moving then. No more. He gently pushed her toward the door.
"And I won't ask about him. Goodnight, Bella." He opened the door, and she stumbled a little.
"I'm trying to give you this if you'd hold on a minute. You're rushing me like I'm the last guy who won't leave the bar."
"Yeah." He took the box from her.
She nodded. Her expression…behind all the twisted mess of Bella Swan was a dangerously attractive woman. It wasn't something she wouldn't squander. She didn't know how to use it, and it probably had gotten her in more trouble than not. But it wasn't his problem.
She wasn't his problem. Alice wasn't. Shanni wasn't.
He closed the door while she was saying thanks.
Whatever.