A Certain Lady Part 30

It was a much subdued Pennsylvania who approached the door leading to Admiral Richardson's office.

The encounter with Commander New Jersey had been bad enough. To have her values and her fears so effectively neutralized. Her concerns for everyone's well being trampled. They did not see the Japanese as she did.

Few could, or would.

But it was the apology ordered that had burned far more than any rebuke from the towering Iowa-Class.

That overgrown missile launcher had accepted her forced and textbook perfect unapologetic apology with a timid and fearful expression. It was enough to make her stomach turn. But it felt wrong in a way she did not expect. Like kicking an innocent child might.

The notion that their most powerful shield against enemy planes was this same ship further confounded her anger.

But then she had turned so she could apologize to Arizona and Jane.

And her heart skipped a beat.

The look of irritation and indignation of a child she could handle. Jane's displeasure was to be expected given her age and inexperience. She didn't need to be loved to protect her charges. She only needed to be capable. Capable beyond a doubt with what arms and armor she had.

That's what she continued to tell herself even as she raised a fist to rap her knuckles against the door.

The look of angry disappointment on her sister's scarred face remained burned into her vision.

"Lieutenant Pennsylvania, requesting permission to enter."

"Permission granted."

The door opened with a slight creak, a sign the hinges were in need of some care.

Pennsylvania entered the spacious, but chaos laden office. Papers and reports littered the furniture. A large couch supported a sizable map adorned with pins, scribbles, and sticky notes of all colors imaginable while writing implements lay scattered wherever they could find purchase. About the only surfaces not being consumed were a few patches of wall and some chairs off in a corner.

"You should have seen this place before the battle against Battleship Princess. It was far worse."

Pennsylvania snapped from her stupor and laid a crimson gaze upon the speaker. It was Lieutenant Hiei. The normally energetic and borderline mad battleship had already been placed firmly on the list of individuals she would be more than pleased to never interact with so long as she lived. However there was the glint in the warship's eyes that gave her pause. A spark that she had never seen before. It didn't matter to her how short a time she'd known the warship, but there was still something ticking the back of her neck. Something telling her such an expression was not commonplace.

It hinted to her of a well restrained anger. Absolutely nothing like her own which was merely a few degrees away from boiling over at any given moment under normal circumstances. This was something nearly her entire crew all but demanded she not trifle with. Much akin to Jintsuu, only not nearly so ominous.

She would remain silent and not approach further until ordered.

The Kongou had already bested her once even missing half her main armament. A part of her was not eager to see what could be done when whole.

"Do you need anything else, sir?" queried Hiei as she turned her full attention back to Sasebo's commander.

"No, that will be all. You're dismissed." Richardson nodded Hiei and set to writing what had to be his signature on countless forms. There was nothing odd or telling of his voice. It was as matter-of-factly as she had ever heard it. Almost casual if she were to really reach for it.

There was none of the snark or irritated resignation she had come to expect of the Admiral, nor was there any hint of silliness or excessive vigor from the Japanese warship. Just an efficient and businesslike execution of work. It would have been commendable if it didn't set her on edge. But she would not allow it to show. She could not. Not here.

Hiei took her leave with little more than a salute to Admiral Richardson and a brisk stride, walking past Pennsylvania with little more than a glance from those flinty blue eyes.

Pennsylvania did not like the way the click of the door shutting sounded infinitely louder than it should have. Not helping was the following sound of Richardson's pen scratching away on paper. The ticking of a wall clock. The slug creation on his desk which vaguely resembled the trollop with the sorry excuse for a skirt. And the dismissal of her presence to top it all off. Each passing moment and each irrationally irritating element served to stoke the fires of her anger.

Before she could throw caution to the wind and speak up, Richardson cut her off.

"Lieutenant Pennsylvania, front and center."

That tone should not have felt so chilling. But regardless she did so, coming to stand at attention directly in front of his desk. Still he did not look up from his work. She felt she would not be wrong in assuming dealing with her actions was merely an afterthought right now.

"Sir!" Pennsylvania gave a crisp salute, holding it for a few seconds before returning to attention. She ignored the clinking sound of shells from her pockets.

"I'm going to give you a choice." Richardson only glanced up at her as he continued. "You can take this chance to explain yourself or you can remain silent and let me take Commander New Jersey's report at face value."

Pennsylvania's eyes widened. She had hauled over here as quickly as she could. There had been no dawdling. And yet the Commander's report was already on the Admiral's desk? On his desk, read, and reviewed? She hadn't intended to hide anything, but still.

"Well?"

Pennsylvania frowned even more than normally, almost turning the expression into one of disgust.

"I will explain myself, sir."

Richardson made a gesture with one hand and set down the pen he'd been using with the other, finally giving her his undivided attention.

"This morning I encountered Commander New Jersey, Lieutenant Arizona, one Jane Richardson, and Japanese Carrier Shinano at the mess hall." She nearly spit out the last name given, but managed to put up some semblance of decorum for the sake of the brass before her. "I-"

"Stop." Richardson made no motion. All he did was order the standard to cease. A frown of his own crossed his features as he narrowed his eyes at her.

Pennsylvania snapped her jaw shut with a click of her teeth.

"An explanation, Lieutenant. I know what happened already. I am telling you to explain it. In your own words." Richardson tapped a folder on his desk, presumably the report of the incident in question.

His blunt words, clarifying the demand, caused her to bristle visibly.

"I have every reason and cause to have the book thrown at you hard enough to make everyone who ever served on you feel it. Assault. Disorderly conduct. Attempting to incite dissent amongst the ran-"

"I did no such thing!" roared Pennsylvania with enough force that the windows trembled.

Richardson did not appear to flinch in the face of her outburst.

"Then explain the incident and clarify your position."

"Yes... sir." Pennsylvania came just shy of growling out the words. Damn this man. Damn him to the deepest depths. He didn't understand. He couldn't. He wasn't there. And he was a human. A flesh and blood person. Not steel and oil. Not something like her.

She blinked away the angry mist in her crimson eyes and took a deep breath in an effort to lower her boiler pressure.

"I do not trust the Japanese. I can't." Her hands tightened into fists as fire and blood ekes their way into the corners of her vision. The room felt hotter. Everything felt heavier. She wanted to open her mouth to continue, but found her voice choked away by smoke that wasn't there.

And in a flash, it was gone.

"They're murderers. Backstabbers. Conniving and deceitful." Her voice rose with each word. She could see them burning, dying. The sounds of gunfire and the screams of the victims grew louder and louder. "Their smiles and friendship is all a lie. All a scam. They're just waiting for the right moment to kill us all in our sleep!"

Without pausing, she lurched forward and planted her hands on Richardson's desk with a loud bang. Papers went flying and myriad items were either knocked over or sent to the floor. With the red haze over her eyes, she was only dimly aware that the Admiral had been forced back against his chair.

"I accepted that cease-fire despite wanting nothing more than to pound that damn woman's face over and over until she was a smear on the ground! I only accepted your invitation and that damn cruiser's terms because it was for Ari's sake! But all of this training and this forced cooperation. I can't stand it. I can't protect my people, my fellow ships, my country while being forced to play nice and work with these monsters!"

"I saw one of the most powerful battleships ever made, an American battleship, chatting and having fun over a meal with a god-forsaken Japanese aircraft carrier. With my sister right there joining in! That's not right!" Pennsylvania's face screwed up in a depiction of hate and anguish, her bound red hair falling loose and making her already miserable self appear even more so. "And that innocent child was treating that Jap like a friend. She treats them like family!"

"It's going to get her killed. It doesn't matter how powerful I am, I can't protect anyone if they put their head in the lion's maw. If they play house with these vile predators! I wanted that ship gone. Gone and far away from anyone it could ever possibly hurt. I want them all gone! Even if it's only from the damn mess hall, I want them as far away from everyone as possible!"

Pennsylvania slammed her fist against the desk as the frustration boiled over.

"And you're no better than those blind fools. If anything, you're worse! Trusting your child to them. Surrounding yourself with those two-faced monsters. You break bread with them and sleep peacefully beside them. I can't stand it! You can do something about this whole farce and instead you play along!"

"I'm sick of watching them die. Watching Ari die. Over and over and over again. I hate it. I hate them all!"

There was only silence that followed.

A dull, heavy silence interrupted only by the sound of the clock on the wall and heaving breaths of the hateful warship.

"Is that all?"

"H-huh?"

"Do you have anything else to say?"

"I-No. No, sir. I don't." Truthfully, she wasn't sure if she did or not. But the bland, almost dismissive question had thrown her off balance.

"Then wipe your face and get back to attention." Richardson reached into his pocket and withdrew a handkerchief.

Pennsylvania took the offered cloth and stared dumbly at for a few moments. It wasn't anything special. Just a generic piece of cloth with a naval theme. She could probably find dozens more at any store. So... why?

"Sir?"

"You heard me, Lieutenant." He leaned forward and steepled his fingers, keeping his eyes firmly on Pennsylvania's. "You look terrible right now."

"Why do you care?" she managed to snarl half heartedly despite doing as she was told.

"I don't." There wasn't any mirth in his eyes or in the tone of his voice.

Pennsylvania found she didn't really have a good response to that.

"Lieutenant, are you or are you not aware that the second world war ended seventy years ago?" questioned Richardson. However the manner in which he spoke it made the words sound more like a statement than any kind of actual query.

"...Ye-"

"You are also then aware that for every loss we suffered, we repaid them two, ten, twenty, a hundred fold?"

"Y-!"

"That we smashed their war machine so completely that they were forced to resort to some of the most desperate tactics seen in recent history to even make us bleed for our domination over them?"

Pennsylvania had been about to speak a pitiful acknowledgement, but was silenced by Richardson's furious gaze.

"That you are fully aware that the Japanese are of absolutely no threat to anyone but the Abyssal Fleet and your own desperate hatred."

"I know that, you loathsome man!"

And with those words, Pennsylvania felt herself break.

A twist sound of grief tore its way from her throat as she collapsed to her knees, the admission of truth too heavy to bear. The supports of a hatred so potent buckled and were pulled away.

"I know that!"

Richardson stood from his desk and walked around it to where Pennsylvania lay.

"But the screams. The burning. Being struck by debris that was once a pair of destroyers just resting there peacefully." She drew a ragged breath and cradled her head in her hands. She did not dare try to look away from a point in the distance only she could see. "Ari was safe and sound one moment. And then the next, she's gone. A giant ball of fire where she used to be."

"They killed her. They killed everyone."

She froze when a hand rested upon her shoulder. But she couldn't see beyond the fire to hurl it away.

"I swear, you two are so alike it's frightening." Richardson's voice eked its way through the smoke, blood, and fires consuming Pennsylvania's world. Just enough for her to recognize it, but little more. "And I'm not just talking about your looks."

Pennsylvania blinked, but did not look away from the carnage playing in her mind.

"Ari's an angry woman. Angry and hurt. She couldn't get more than five minutes of sleep before the nightmares started up when she returned. You want to know what demons haunt her, then ask her. I won't betray what I know." Richardson paused before tightening his grip on the battleship's shoulder.

"But she's never stopped thinking about that morning. Not even once. Those scars aren't ever going away."

Pennsylvania turned and slapped away Richardson's hand. How dare he. How dare this ignorant-!

"She had the life of Kaga in her hands and no one would have blinked if she'd told her kill to herself. She could have left Hiei to die instead of pulling out every stop she could to save her."

"I know that! You did something. You had to have! There's no way..." Her hollow accusations died on her tongue as she thought back to what she had seen. Seen and tried to ignore. Ignore so she could continue feeding the beast.

Arizona smiling and laughing.

Working alongside others with ease.

Raging about inappropriate dress.

Her dear little sister, scarred and tormented, living the new life she had been given.

"But... how?"

"How, what?"

"How does she deal with it?" Pennsylvania turned a pathetic and broken face to the Admiral. And in that moment, she hated him more than anything in the world. But still, she awaited an answer.

"Dunno. One step at a time? The fleet of stuffed warships she sleeps with? The teasing from Mutsu or one of Jane's crazy ideas?" Richardson shrugged as if he knew the answer but refused to spill.

"I hate you."

"You and so many others, Pennsy."

"Don't call me that."

"Too bad. Now get out of my office. I have work to do." Pennsylvania glared at him with everything she could muster as she stood from the floor.

"Am I to understand I am going to be punished, sir?" asked the warship when she had managed to regain her footing. She could have simply walked out and left it at that, but she did not want to leave any loose ends. At least no more than there already were.

"Unquestionably." The man smiled in a dark manner that was eerily fitting on him. "Upon completion of this mission or prior to deployment, whichever is doable, you are to provide snacks for all personnel being deployed."

"You cannot be serious."

"Homemade. And don't even think about making separate batches for the Japanese girls."

"How is that a punishment!?"

Richardson's smile turned into a grin.

"What better punishment for hate is there than to do something kind?"

Pennsylvania, once more, had no good response for that.