— CHAPTER SIX —

In the months that followed, Harry kept good to his promise. Voldemort had gone underground but Harry was constantly digging up strongholds and slaughtering Death Eaters. There were Order casualties, but never any members who fought with Harry. It gave people courage. They would follow him to hell and back.

Harry had never been happier for Christmas to come, however. He knew he could not stay at Hogwarts long, but even a few hours would mean the world to him. He entered the familiar dungeons, knocking on the door to Severus's private rooms. The door opened, revealing Severus in his original male body, looking just as Harry remembered him, with the notable exception of the infant in his arms. Harry beamed at him happily, "Severus. You have no idea how I've missed you."

Severus stared at him blankly, perhaps taken aback, and Harry quickly remembered himself, "Sorry, I meant 'sir'."

He lowered his gaze to his son, smile softening, "He's gotten so much bigger. May I hold him?"

Severus extended the swaddled baby to him. Nicolas cooed and smiled at Harry, melting Harry's weary heart. Harry whispered, "He is so beautiful."

Severus shifted and then stepped back, "Come in."

Harry glanced up, surprised by the simple invitation, which lacked any malice. Harry glanced about curiously as he walked in, loving the warmth and coziness of the rooms. He took a seat on the couch, still cradling Nicolas. Severus sank down on the other side of the couch, fiddling with his hands in his lap. Harry was not sure what to make of the nervous-looking gesture. Severus's face was as impassive as ever. Before he could question Severus the man's hands stilled and he announced, "I have had a great deal of time to think about you and our marriage."

Harry had absolutely no idea where this was going. Severus wasn't looking at him, but instead glaring into the fire, "It has been made clear to me that I have vastly misjudged your character and it is my wish to begin anew. I wish to attempt to have a civil relationship with you, to be your friend and, perhaps, eventually your lover as well, if the idea appeals to you."

Severus's hands twitched in his lap again and he squeezed them together tightly, knuckles white. He continued on in the same matter-of-fact tone, as if he were discussing the weather or teaching a class, "You said once that you wanted me. I do not know if you meant that physically or romantically or else-wise, but I do believe now that you meant it. We are bound together forever and there can be no other for either of us. For our own sakes and for Nicolas's sake, we should try to... make of this what we can. You should call me Severus."

Harry was seeing Severus in an entirely new light. There were small changes in Severus's physical appearance that Harry had noticed and appreciated but had given no meaning to. Severus's words revealed that these changes were deliberate and actually very meaningful indeed - because Harry was almost certain that Severus had made the changes for him. The cooked teeth were now straight and white. The capped lips and skin were smooth and supple - still pale, but with a markedly healthy radiance. The black hair was no longer greasy but silken and evenly cut. The nose was straighter and a bit smaller and no longer hooked either. There were no potion stains on the long, slender hands. Even the robes he wore were new and flatteringly cut, though still black.

Harry stood and said, "I am going to go put Nicolas down for a nap."

Severus closed his eyes, his expression tense and pained. Harry bent and pressed a quick kiss to the other man's cheek. Severus's black eyes snapped open, shocked. Harry smiled at him softly and murmured reassuringly, "I promise I will be right back."

Harry found Nicolas's nursery and put the sweet baby down in his crib. Nicolas stirred in protest, preparing to work himself up into a fit, but Harry cast a gentle sleeping spell and Nicolas drifted off into a peaceful sleep instead. Thank god for magic, Harry thought.

Harry returned to the main room and sat down right beside Severus, "My desires have never changed, Severus. You've made me happier than I know how to say."

Harry took Severus's hand in his own and assured him, "I will be overjoyed by whatever it pleases you to give me. Friends or lovers - either is so much more than I have dared to hope for since the day of our bonding."

When Severus remained quiet, Harry added, "I hope you know you look incredible tonight. Though, you should also know you needn't have changed yourself. I assure you, I could not want you more than I already do."

Severus was still just staring at him. Harry fell silent, trying to contain his excitement and read the other man's expression. At last, Severus said, "You truly mean that."

"Of course!" Harry replied immediately. "If you don't believe my words, you are welcome to my thoughts."

Severus raised a hand to touch Harry's face and Harry was startled to notice that Severus's hand was trembling. Severus asked, "Why do you feel this way? How long have you felt this way?"

"Oh I hated you as a child," Harry chuckled, still feeling giddy. "The love came later."

Severus went rigid, his hand stilling on Harry's skin and then falling away slowly. He whispered in a rather strangled tone, "Love?"

Harry considered Severus for a moment, wondering if perhaps he shouldn't have said that, but then nodded and murmured solemnly, "Yes."

Severus was silent again and Harry felt compelled to fill the quiet.

"I'm not sure if Albus has ever mentioned it, but I have a minor gift for foresight. Powerful witches and wizards usually have at least slight inclinations about things to come. The first time I saw you, I felt such keen recognition. I didn't understand it but I felt that you would be important to me in some way. Then, I learned to hate you in potions class and I decided I was wrong about you, or that, at the very least you were an important figure in my life because you took pleasure in tormenting me."

Harry chuckled self-depreciating and then continued, "As the years passed, the nagging feeling of significance intensified but I confused it with growing hatred. It was only after turning of age at sixteen that I actually understood. It hit me like lightning then. 'Oh,' I thought to myself, 'you are going to love him.' Then after that, I started really seeing you, without all of that confused hate. Inevitably, the softer feelings followed quickly. I admire you vastly, Severus. For your bravery, your incredible intelligence and skill, your dark and surly attitude, your biting wit and sarcasm, your passion for potions, your loyalty, your strength… and your twisted sense of humor."

Harry grinned at Severus, then that grin faded quickly and he confessed quietly, "When faced with the choice of who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, it could only have been you for me, Severus. I knew it was wrong, to take away your choice, but I also knew I could never have convinced you to say yes within two days - if ever. I should have tried earlier, to change your mind about me. I suppose I always thought I would have more time. I wanted to deal with Voldemort first and I guess I hoped you would eventually change your mind about me on your own.

"It was a terrible choice I had to make, Severus." Harry shrugged a little, frowning slightly and studying his hands. He was subdued now, as the old guilt ate at him.

"I am glad you made it for me," Severus replied suddenly and unexpectedly. "It is probably the best choice anyone has ever made for me."

Harry's head snapped up and he was utterly taken aback. Severus held his gaze and said solemnly, "I forgive you, Harry."

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, with unspeakable relief. It was as if a weight the size of Severus Snape had been lifted off of Harry's chest and he could finally breathe easily. He opened his eyes and leaned close, brushing his lips gently against Severus's. He whispered earnestly, "Thank you."

Harry drew back a bit, reaching up and tracing the line of Severus's face with reverence, "I only have a few hours. I wish I could stay longer but… May I write you?"

Severus nodded, "That would be... satisfactory, yes."

Severus stood and added, "Perhaps we should move to the bedroom. If there is more to be said, it can be written. However, it may be quite some time before we see each other again. Therefore, we should spend our time together wisely."

Harry grinned slowly, "That… would be so much more than satisfactory, Severus."