HOSPITAL

In my mind this took place in season 4

Elliot sat quietly in the uncomfortable hospital chair, the room began to darken a little more by the minute but he didn't care. All that mattered was the woman in front of him. He watched her small, still frame and so many thoughts went through his mind. All the things he never said, never did. All the regrets he had. Then his mind wandered back to a few hours ago when everything was okay.

Olivia walked out of the bodega, a smile on her face as she leaned through the open passenger window to hand Elliot his coffee as she sipped on hers. She opened the car door and got into her seat, buckling up before Elliot took the car out of park.

"I'm glad we wrapped that case up early," Elliot said with a sigh, running his hand over his leg.

"Me, too. Hey, El, wanna get some dinner?" Olivia asked, looking over to her partner.

"Sure, lets stop back at the precinct and finish up that paperwork so we can enjoy the weekend and not have to come in early on Monday," Elliot said, turning right at a stop light.

"Sounds good to me, I want to grab my jacket anyway."

An hour later, they were walking out of the precinct, to enjoy their first weekend off in as long as they could remember. Elliot's hand found its way to the small of her back, in a possessive manner and she felt a smile play at her lips.

They walked across the parking lot to their cars and Elliot offered to drive.

"Okay, Stabler, but if I get drunk at dinner you're responsible for getting me home safe," Olivia winked at him with a laugh.

"My pleasure," Elliot answered with a grin as he opened the door for her to get in.

They made their way to the restaurant in ten minutes, a small little bar they both adored. It wasn't overly crowded and they had the best beer on tap.

They walked to their spot at the bar and sat down on the stools. The tall, blonde bartender with extremely tan skin and a tank top two sizes too small for her asked what they'd like to drink.

Olivia looked over at Elliot, allowing him to order first and giving her a second to decide if she was going to go for liquor or beer.

Elliot returned her glance as if he knew what she was thinking and then he ordered an Oberon, the bartended turned to Olivia and she asked for a Corona.

The bartended set their glasses down in front of them and smiled at Elliot. Olivia took a drink and engaged Elliot in conversation. She asked him about Kathy and the kids.

"They're good, they call almost every day," Elliot answered, sadly.

"El, I'm sorry. You could have told me," Olivia said, meaning her words as she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"I know, I just didn't want you to worry about it, about me," he said, not meeting her eye.

The bartender appeared again, asking if they would like to order and food and they both seemed to remember how hungry they were.

A few minutes later they were both eating their burgers and sipping their beers. When the meal was over, Elliot asked if she would like to stay and drink a little longer.

"You know, why don't we go back to my apartment and make some drinks and watch a movie? We haven't done that in months!" Olivia said, smiling.

"That sounds wonderful, lets get outta here!" Elliot replied, throwing money down on the bar, insisting he pay for hers.

"El, let me get it this time," she begged.

"Liv, no! I didn't even finish half of my beer! I'll pay," and with that, he dragged her out of the door.

They made their way to the car, his arm once again protectively on the small of her back. She walked around to her side and got in. They took off towards her apartment as she scanned the radio stations. After clicking through about 6 of them she finally decided on 80's.

Olivia smiled at the song and got right into it.

"There's no one like you!" She sang over enthusiastically as she pointed at Elliot, making him laugh, which only egged on her silliness. Olivia dragged this on for a few blocks and they laughed. Suddenly turning serious, Olivia started singing again, looking at Elliot once again.

"I cant wait for the nights with you, I imagine the things we'd do. I just want to be loved by you," she sang, and shivers went down Elliot's whole body as he looked at her, looking at him, her plump lips singing words he wished she would tell him in actuality.

They stopped at a red light, Olivia turning the station again. This time she found some rap and began trying her hardest to keep up with the man in the song, this sent Elliot into a fit of laughter. When the light turned green Elliot pressed the gas and drove into the intersection.

The fond memories of his night were ruined and he came back to reality, looking once again at the woman in front of him. Never taking his eyes off her.

"Excuse me, sir, you cant be here, visiting hours are over," a young nurse said, as she was making her rounds.

"I'm her fiancé, and I'm not leaving her alone," Elliot lied, hoping it'd work because nothing was getting him out of this chair and away from her side.

"Okay, I'm sorry, ring me if you need anything," she told him as she finished checking Olivia and left the room.

Elliot looked down at the love of his life and thought how beautiful she looked, even with a few scrapes on her face and her hair a mess. He smiled down at her as his eyes filled with tears. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles one by one, over and over.

"Olivia Margret Benson, I swear, if you don't wake up, I don't even know what I'll do. I have never imagined a life without you because from the moment I laid my eyes on you, have have been my world, my life, my everything. I think about you when I wake up and before I go to sleep, I imagine what life would be like if God were on my side and I got to take you home every night after work and make love to you like there was no tomorrow. I imagine you in a white dress and on a beach in Haiwii. I have named our children a hundred times over in my head. I dream of you every night. I have a picture of you next to my bed and its the most beautiful picture I have ever seen even though its been folded and the edges are starting to whither," he stopped for a moment, looking at her hand in his and wished she was awake and in his arms.

"Fuck," he mumbled. This night could have gone so different if only he'd been paying attention. If only some drunk idiot hadn't rammed into him. If only they'd left a little earlier. If only he'd finished his beer and they stayed a little longer. If only.

Elliot thought of what he wished could be happening now, a slightly too buzzed Olivia laying draped across him on the couch, her eyes struggling to stay open, Elliot's hand running through her hair, her hand on his leg. The movie not getting any attention because Olivia had already fallen asleep and Elliot was too preoccupied with how close Olivia was to him and too concentrated on not moving because he didn't want to disturb her. He would wait a few more minutes to grab the blanket on the couch behind his head and drape it over her as he finished his beer, watching her sleep peacefully as he had many, many nights before. Oh, how he wished this night could have ended like that, instead of this. At the hospital, scared to death of losing the only woman he's ever truly loved before he had the chance to tell her.

"Olivia, wake up," Elliot cried, "please, babe, you have no idea how many times I've called you that while you were sleeping. Wishing I had the courage to call you that when you were conscious. And there was one time, when you kissed me while you were so drunk, it was the most sloppy, most perfect, drunk kiss in the entire universe. I knew you wouldn't remember the next morning and right after you let go of me, you threw up on my shoes. I never told you because I didn't want to tell you about the divorce yet and I knew you would feel bad for coming onto a married man. But I'm telling you now, even though you cant hear me. I just need to get all of this off my chest." Elliot stopped to take a breath, realizing tears were streaming down his face in constant flow.

"I need you, Olivia. More than I need anymore. More than I need the sun, or oxygen, or any single thing in this world. I need you. Without you, I am nothing, I have nothing. There is nothing I want more than you, you are my world, Liv," Elliot whispered, the tears running down his face as he looked at his shoes while holding her hand close to his heart.

He felt her stir beneath him and looked up to meet her eyes, welling with tears and she squeezed his hand. His breathing caught in his throat, and he feared he was imagining the whole thing.

"Liv? Can you hear me? Do you need a doctor?" He asked, his voice shaky and full of concern.

"Elliot," she whispered, placing her battered hands on either sides of his cheeks as the tears fell from her eyes. "I love you with all my heart."

"Liv, how long were you awake?" he asked, not caring how much she heard but was still curious.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, "long enough," she said with a smile.

"Let me get the doctor," Elliot said, rising to his feet.

A few moments later, he returned with the doctor behind him.

"Miss Benson, how are you feeling?" he asked, while examining her.

"Quite well, considering. I just ache a little," she answered and Elliot knew she was down playing it so she could leave sooner.

"Alright, well from your scans earlier it looks like you have no brain bleeds and you have no serious injuries but you did hit your head so you'll have to stay overnight," he told her as he stood to leave.

"Thank you, doctor," Olivia said as he exited then she turned to Elliot, "how long was I out for?" she asked.

"The longest and most painful two hours of my life," Elliot answered, looking her dead in the eyes.

"I really do love you, El, I always have," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"And, I really love you. Every single word I said, I meant. Babe, don't cry, this is a happy time, minus the hospital," he said with a light laugh and she smiled.

"Come lay with me?" she asked, as she scooted her body to the far side of the small mattress and pulled the sheet up for him to get in.

Elliot walked over to her and peeled off his jacket, throwing it onto the back of the chair as he climbed into the bed with put his arm around Olivia.

Olivia grabbed his face and brought him to her, she brought her lips to his and savored the moment then she parted her lips slightly and crashed hers with his. At first, the kiss was gentle and soft but it quickly became heated and primal. She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and bit gently. His hands got tangled into her hair. She found herself climbing onto his lap and strateling him. He arched his erection up to her and she moaned into his mouth, making him crazy. Her hands were clawing franticly at his shirt, trying to remove it.

"Liv," Elliot said, breathlessly, breaking the kiss and regaining his senses, "we can't do this here, now, in a hospital."

"El, baby, I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life, and i know you want me too," Olivia said with a wink, grinding down on his erection, making him weak.

"Oh god, Liv, baby, you're making me crazy," he whispered, his voice rough.

"You have no idea," she said with a seductive grin as she kissed him again and began to rub his member through his jeans with her palm.

The kiss, once again, was primal and full of years of pent up feelings and sexual tension. Elliot's hands found their way out her hair and to her bra clad breasts, as she was only wearing a hospital gown. He toyed with her hard nipples through the thin fabric, causing her to moan.

"Goddammit, Liv," he growled, "I want nothing more than to fuck you senseless right now but this isn't right. I want our first time together to be perfect. I want it to be special."

"Who said we had to fuck?" Olivia asked with a grin as she leaned back into kiss him.

"You are going to be the death of me," Elliot said against her lips right before her tongue slid into his mouth and her hands found the buckle to his jeans.