Remorse

by Jackie The Half-Blood Lion

When Christmas brings an unexpected letter, the Golden Trio must figure out two things. One, who sent the mysterious letter, and two, how to deal with the sticky situations it might lead to. But will Harry be able to forgive, not one, but three people? One of which he is so close to, he never would have suspected.

5. Chapter 5: Past Lives

Tom Riddle's POV

I was thinking. I had gone back to referring to myself in my mind as Tom when I began to feel emotions again. To me, Tom Riddle II was a lost, lonely young boy. That was how I felt now, all empty and unloved. Most of my life had been spent alone. In the orphanage, I had tried to make friends, but I stopped soon enough. The worst situation was with a boy named Otto.

The orphanage had made a trip to Marwell Zoo. It was fantastic, and at lunchtime, they bought all the children an ice cream. I dropped mine and Otto laughed. I was furious, how dare he laugh at my misfortune? The next thing I knew, Otto was in with the cheetahs, screaming for his life. I spent the rest of the day in the reptile house, talking to the snakes. They understood me; they were just as supressed as I felt.

Everything had changed when I went to Hogwarts. The Sorting Hat didn't actually touch my head at the start of year feast. A dangling strap brushed my shoulder and the Sorting Hat practically shrieked "SLYTHERIN!" I went and sat down between two boys called Goyle and Nott, who I immediately took a liking to, and they to me. From then on, I was never alone unless I wanted to be. They laughed with me, did their homework with me. I was truly happy for the first time in my life. I felt like I belonged. That all went away when I met Lucius in my third year. He was a power-hungry, self-centred, pompous pain-in-the-backside, but he got to me. He persuaded me that I didn't need friends, only followers and allies. In time, I grew used to him and began to push my friends away, favouring the dark side of Slytherin instead.

But now, I wanted change, just like Lucius' young son. He had wanted Draco to receive the Dark Mark, but I refused. After all the corrupt and depraved things I had done, I realise that power was not the only thing in the world that mattered. I didn't want the only thread of reality I had tainted. So I refused the boy his Dark Mark and told his father that it was his fault, so he would punish himself instead of Draco. That was best. And if it was the only good I could do, then I would do it. I would not taint his soul.