(9) Bad Luck

Leon opened the door to his apartment, located on the tenth floor of a high-rise modern building. Great security. A ginormous swimming pool. Luxurious decorations. Well, Leon never thought it was large or grand enough to accommodate all his belongings. He hadn't got much time to clean up the sitting room. Parcels and letters piled up in one corner. A stack of notices caught his attention. He picked them up, expecting to see more and more bills until the warning word 'evacuation' rendered him motionless for five minutes.

'Great,' mumbled Leon sarcastically as he tossed himself onto the unnecessarily enormous couch. All this furniture cost him a fortune. He lived like there was no tomorrow, the consequence being that money left as soon as it reached his wallet.

He hadn't been able to pay the rent for two months and already they were kicking him out. He rubbed his temples and sighed. So much had been going on in his life. His phone chimed incessantly. He scrolled down the messages.

There was Alfred's invitation to another extravagant party, followed by Matthew's friendly reminder of the upcoming course enrolment. Then, there was Yong Soo's snap showing him clinging to a gorgeous girl with large breasts and platinum blonde hair. She was holding a…knife?

What the heck?

He secretly prayed that Yong Soo came back in one piece. Emil sent Leon an advanced Maths question because he was going to retake the final exam. And then…there was a text Leon never thought he would receive. It was from Lukas.

'You're kidding me,' said Leon with a frown. Lukas texted him just to ask if his butt was alright? After all the insane things he had done to him, he was asking if it hurt?

Of course, there was a sarcastic tone to his question. He wasn't sure if Lukas genuinely cared about him or he was just mocking him, again. Leon would bet on the latter intention.

He punched some words and ended up sending them to Lukas.

Wt do ya think? you creep.

He didn't expect Lukas to retaliate with a humiliating photo of him in bed. Clearly, his cheeks were red, his hair damped with sweat. He was probably moaning and was too dazed to notice Lukas snapping a photo of him.

'Sweet,' growled Leon. 'Now he can, like, blackmail me.'

He was quite positive about three things.

First, Lukas was definitely a sex maniac.

Second, he was also a sadist and…what was that word Kiku always use- a tsundere?

Third, he seemed to have laid his eyes on Leon, with whatever malevolent intentions he had in store.

Leon tried to think about the more impending problems, such as his course enrolment and the evacuation notices. He switched on his laptop and checked his stock. It hadn't risen since last month and he had generously, foolishly spent a few thousands without even a strategic planning. Maybe he ought to go back to compensated dating? Nah…he quit. It was horrendous enough to have to deal with Lukas. Right, he reckoned he ought to graduate soon and find a decent job. He immediately enrolled more courses than he was required to take, to fill up the credits as soon as possible.

Like Yong Soo said, life was too stressful for college freshmen like them. And when he was stressed, he felt like shopping and spending money, or worse, having sex.

Leon believed he was just having some sort of misfortune. Frankly speaking, he suspected that someone had cursed him. And if he had to blame someone, it had got to be Lukas. His life started going downhill since he met him. It didn't help that sometimes he dreamt of being fucked by him.

And he would wake up…rock hard.

He needed to forget about his nightmarish Christmas and tried to focus on the rent. He needed money. Quite a lot, actually.

When the new semester began, Leon got himself a new-found business. He had decided to utilise his intelligence and probably help a couple of wealthy classmates cheat in the online exam. It definitely brought in a considerable amount of income but he just never had enough to spend. He wasn't particularly pleased to see Lukas in one of the advanced courses he had inadvertently enrolled in.

Worse still, he arrived late to the lecture and there was only one seat left. Right next to Lukas.

It couldn't be a coincidence, could it? More like a curse.

Reluctantly, Leon walked towards the empty seat at the back, trying to keep his cool and ignore the stares other seniors threw at him.

'Are you, like, stalking me?' asked Leon.

Lukas was originally immersed in what the lecturer was saying before he slowly turned to look at Leon in amusement.

'This is Advanced Economics,' said Lukas. 'More like you're dying to see me.'

Okay, that was definitely not true. Maybe he was a little bit excited to see Lukas for reasons he didn't want to explore, but he wasn't dying to see him, regardless of how attractive and skilful in bed he was.

Thinking of their sex made Leon blush again. He had been drowning himself in other stuff, money-making, computer hacking and reading to occupy his mind. And now, this happened.

When the lecturer explained the assessment, Leon couldn't pay attention at all. Because Lukas was freaking touching him!

He traced his hand along Leon's thigh. Leon tried to scoot away but if he moved too much, the student next to him would know. Lukas was merciless with his trick. His fingers inched closer to Leon's crotch. Leon dropped his pen and grabbed Lukas's hand. He glared at the Norwegian, who was seemingly multi-tasking. While indulging in the tease and testing Leon's reactions, he was also listening intently to the lecture. How did he manage that? Leon wondered.

'Stop it, pervert,' whispered Leon.

'We'll have some fun later,' Lukas whispered back. That didn't reassure Leon at all. Now he was in trouble.

When the lecturer asked them to form a pair for a group project, Leon missed it. He only realised what was going on when Lukas said he had put down both of their names.

'What?'

'Don't thank me,' said Lukas. 'Treat it as a favour. Nobody would want to pair up with a freshman.'

It was true. Why did he even sign up for this course?

But still, even if nobody was willing to pair up with him, Leon wouldn't resort to Lukas. Hell no.

(10) Breakdown

A second before Leon was still thinking of his financial 'crisis' and now his mind was completely swept away by Lukas's kiss. Bites were planted along the crook of his neck. He buried his face into the other boy's shoulder, trying to suppress his moans. Doing it in the toilet was never Leon's favourite. It felt dirty. But then again, that was what Lukas said about him. Dirty. Low. The same thing Arthur had said about him as well. He had always been a sellout, betraying his own dignity in exchange for a fleeting moment of pleasure. That was why Arthur dumped him. He didn't even love him and yet he fell prey to his beautiful lies, a delusion that somebody actually wanted him.

Leon wanted to change but didn't know how. He wanted to spend less, but he couldn't stop it. All the stress and pressure was pushing him over the limits. He would break down. He had been depressed once and it wasn't a pretty sight. He cut himself in middle school, isolated himself from the rest and even attempted suicide once. Nobody knew his problems and he concealed them. He needed some sort of distraction to quell his pain and then he came across Emil and Yong Soo in high school. They made his life better. Sometimes, he also enjoyed Alfred's and Matthew's company. They were a pair of eccentric twins. Polar opposites. But they were fun to chat and hang out with.

They were rubbing against each other. Leon didn't have much stamina. He wanted to get to the peak quickly and leave the toilet. Lukas had him pinned up against the wall.

'Just…' he stammered, trying not to moan too loud. 'Put it in.'

'As you wish, babe.'

Did he just call him 'babe'?

Leon was too carried away by the pleasure to think. As soon as Lukas thrust into him, they had to stop. Somebody had entered the washroom. They heard a door open and slam in the cubicle next to theirs. Leon's rod was twitching. It was leaking and it didn't help that Lukas was stroking it deliberately. He dug his teeth into Lukas's neck to muffle his groan. It was embarrassing, with Lukas inside his body.

Once they heard the washroom door open and shut, Lukas pushed Leon harder against the wall and rammed deep into him. It struck his prostate directly. Leon whimpered.

'I bet you want others to hear you,' whispered Lukas into his ear.

Leon wanted to curse but then again he was the one being banged, stripped and dominated. Oddly enough, he enjoyed it. All the biting, the dirty insults and the rough thrusts. It drove him crazy. His mind was in temporary haze and when that happened, he forgot everything in his miserable life. He wanted that moment to last.

Lukas's teeth grazed through his skin. He shivered and bit Lukas's ear in return. Lukas didn't seem to mind the blood dribbling down his earlobe. The pain. The pleasure. The ongoing conflict. The friction. Oh God, it was perfect.

He hadn't felt this good in a while. Mathias would never let him do this, part of the reasons why they broke up. Of course, there were more. Lukas felt that Mathias was more like his own brother than a lover. A year after they went out, they decided to go back to being best friends and sworn brothers.

Lukas had always been looking for someone to love and bully at the same time. His form of love was twisted to the core and not many people were able to stand that. In fact, nobody could stand it. Apart from Emil, everyone was nothing but a part of the game to him. Side characters.

But Leon was attractive in many ways. He would never admit so. This boy was so broken inside it excited Lukas. He wanted to break him even more until he couldn't survive without his existence.

Was it love?

Obsession?

He just loved his moans, his childish whines and the defeated face he made. Conquering someone and stripping them of their pride turned Lukas on.

'Lukas…'

It was the first time Leon called him by his real name.

'Touch me,' demanded Leon.

Lukas smirked. He kept his thrusts and whispered into Leon's ear, not forgetting to lick it in the process. 'You've got to beg if you want something.'

Leon's face was burning. He wanted to come desperately. He wanted Lukas to stroke him, to fiddle with his length or just do whatever to make him climax.

'Please.' It came out as a faint whisper but it was full of helplessness and emotions.

'Louder.'

'Please.' This time, it was more of a moan. At least, Lukas could hear it and he was honoured to grant Leon's wish. He stroked him hard and pounded into him so deep the boy's toes curled.

They came just a second before another person entered the washroom. Leon panted, his bangs soaked in sweat. Lukas stayed inside him for a while before he pulled out with a low groan. Leon felt dirty all over. His inside was hot. And it kinda ached after the pleasure was gone.

'Can you walk?' asked Lukas, not in his usual kind of teasing tone.

Leon wanted to think that he really cared about him, but he knew Lukas was incapable of caring for someone other than Emil.

The feeling of shame and guilt overtook him. He broke down in tears. Lukas looked astounded. He didn't expect Leon to cry. Well, it wasn't his initial intention. He just wanted to…tease him and break him a little.

Maybe he went overboard.

Lukas thought he was crying because of the pain, but actually Leon was crying because all his problems came back to him once the sex was over.

He was such a loser.

'Hey, are you-'

'I'm fine,' said Leon. He grabbed some tissue and cleaned himself. He put his jeans back on and wiped his tears.

'You sure?' asked Lukas.

'I'm fine,' growled Leon. He glared at Lukas but soon his gaze softened. He was surprised to see Lukas looking rather…concerned?

Or was he mistaken?

'I'm, like, really fine,' said Leon.

'If you say so,' said Lukas monotonously, but he left a rather long kiss on Leon's lips.

(11) Ambiguity

Leon wasn't sure if it counted as dating.

The time he spent time with Lukas had increased. They talked about the project, texted each other, grabbed lunch together and of course, there was sex.

The sex part was always pleasurable. It made him forget his problems. But sometimes, he couldn't help thinking that Lukas was just after his body, the same way Arthur did. He was repeating his mistake.

'Where's your car?' asked Lukas one day. He had seen Leon walking with grocery bags on the street and asked him to hop in. Leon didn't want to take a ride from Lukas but since he had asked so politely, he accepted the offer. Lukas had toned down a little since that time Leon broke down in the toilet, or maybe it was because they were getting to know each other more. He hadn't been sarcastic all the time. He still teased Leon and filled him with dirty talks while they were doing it, but they were at least able to have normal casual conversations without verbally attacking each other in every single sentence.

'I, like, don't drive anymore,' said Leon. He tried to focus on the road ahead. His hair was messy. He hadn't got time to style it. He was wearing a hoodie and a pair of random jeans he grabbed from the wardrobe.

'You're not quite yourself lately,' said Lukas. 'And why is that you're not driving anymore?'

'Um…' Leon looked out of the window and decided not to tell the truth.

'Well?' Lukas pressed on and stole a peep at Leon.

'Ran out of petrol,' said Leon.

'Then refill it,' said Lukas as-a-matter-of-factly.

When Leon didn't answer, Lukas growled, 'Well, I'm asking you a freaking question.'

'I'm broke, okay?' It almost came out as a yell. Leon didn't want to lash out at Lukas. He hadn't been in a particularly good mood lately.

He glimpsed the groceries. He hadn't gone shopping for two weeks and he was barely able to fill the fridge with some milk and bread. He had gotten thinner and paler. Lukas thought he was on diet. But then again, Leon was never fat to begin with.

'What happened to your part time?' asked Lukas.

'It's not enough,' said Leon. 'Just, stop asking me questions. I'll, like, be okay.'

'Damn liar,' muttered Lukas as he braked the car in front of Leon's residence. 'You know what I think?'

'No,' said Leon. He tried to open the car door but Lukas stopped him.

'All these problems come from you,' said Lukas. 'You want a lavish life, then make sure you can afford it. You want to stand out. Make sure you can endure the gossips. You want to live like there's no tomorrow, then you've got to abandon the future.'

It was true. Leon had only himself to blame. It was he who had decided to run away from home. It was he who thought he could make his own living. It was he who thought he could depend on himself. He was so silly and full of himself he failed to notice his own limits.

'You need to think more before you act,' said Lukas.

'It's, like, none of your business.'

Fuck his pride.

'You've made it my business,' growled Lukas. He yanked Leon's hair and pushed his head against the window. He leaned close to him and squinted. 'Nobody is going to pity you. You can continue to wallow in self-accusation, wasting time to think how unlucky you are. Life is never fair to begin with so quit whining.'

'I'm not even whi-'

Lukas kissed him. Before they knew it, they were making out in the car.

This continued until they were inside Leon's apartment, where they could let out as much noise as they wanted. Lukas tackled him to the couch.

'Sex makes you forget things, huh?'

He seemed to understand Leon better than Leon himself did.

'Well then, let's not stop tonight.' Lukas smirked and bent down to bite Leon's lips.

Leon lost count of how many times he came that night. Lukas was as rough as ever but the pain, coupled with the immense pleasure, was always unforgettable. It lingered. He had had insomnia for nights and finally, he was able to fall asleep in Lukas's arms.

When the morning came, Lukas was gone. Leon dragged his exhausted body to the bathroom and took a long bath. Lukas's marks were all over him. When he came out of the bathroom, he finally noticed the breakfast on the table.

Lukas had cooked something for him. Given the limited supplies of food in his fridge, Leon concluded that Lukas must have gone down and bought something from the supermarket.

Leon wasn't sure what to feel about this. He had mixed feelings. Part of him wished that Lukas had stayed. Part of him wondered why Lukas had to do this for him. And then, there was a part of him that wanted to cry and sleep again.

He finished the scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. He packed his things and decided to give the landlady a call. He was going to move out. He didn't need all these luxuries. They were all material objects he relied on to hide the fact that he had no self-esteem at all. He should just…recognise his limits and probably go home.

To his astonishment, the landlady said somebody had already cleared his debts and paid for next month's rent.

When Leon's phone buzzed again, he picked it up. It was a text from Lukas.

Now you're mine. You owe me a lot.

Leon's mouth gaped open. WHAT?

He stomped around the apartment and tore the evacuation notices. He punched the wall and kicked the table.

Damn it.

As expected, Lukas would never stop trampling on his pride.

(12) His Brother

'Leon, got a moment?'

Leon looked up from his laptop and exchanged a gaze with Emil. They were inside the campus library. Leon was trying to finish the last section of his essay. He patted the seat next to him.

'No, not here,' said Emil as he scanned the crowded library. Everyone was seemingly fighting their deadlines, their fingers tapping the keyboards like motors.

'Sure.'

Leon packed his things and stood up. He followed Emil out to an open space. He pulled him to one corner and asked sternly, 'Are you seeing my brother?'

It took Leon a minute to process the question. He scratched his head and frowned. 'What do you, like, mean?'

'Well…' Emil trailed off. He didn't know how to put it. He had seen Lukas and Leon hanging out on the campus and sometimes they went off alone as well. Something was definitely going on. Maybe they were finally getting along? Emil wasn't too sure.

'You and Lukas seem to, um, spend a lot of time together these days,' said Emil.

'Oh,' said Leon with a nod. 'It's because, like, we've got this common course on Economics. We're, like, drafting the business plan for our project.'

'No, I don't mean that,' said Emil. His eyes glistened and they were seeking something. Absolutely not an excuse.

'He doesn't just hang out with anyone,' argued Emil. At least, he knew Lukas well enough to conclude that he was an anti-social guy. He wouldn't have any unnecessary association with anyone. Emil could count with his five fingers the number of friends Lukas had.

'I'm, like, sorry,' apologised Leon. 'Did we sort of, like, neglect you? You want to hang out with me, right? Wanna study together?'

'No, that's not what I mean,' said Emil. He rolled his eyes. A faint blush appeared on his face. 'What I need to know is- are you two dating?'

That question struck Leon. He glanced uneasily at the people passing by. His eyes followed them to the escalator. The sun was shining bright. It was starting to get hot.

'What, like, gives you that idea?' sighed Leon. He sat down on a bench.

'Because…well…I should be the one asking you!' grumbled Emil. 'You're hiding something from me.'

'I, like, don't know,' admitted Leon. It was true they were spending more time together but nothing really changed. Lukas was still seizing every opportunity to taunt and seduce him. And he always ended up giving in to the temptation. To say they hung out a lot, it was more like they had sex frequently.

'What?' Emil raised his voice. 'How could you not know? Do you feel something for Lukas? For my BROTHER?'

'Are you, like, mad?' asked Leon. Did he upset Emil? How should he answer?

'No, I'm just curious,' said Emil. 'Now answer me.'

'Maybe we're dating,' grunted Leon in frustration. 'Or maybe not.'

'This is ridiculous.'

'I know,' said Leon. 'Why don't you, like, ask your brother? I don't get him.'

'And you think I get him?'

'You're his brother,' said Leon. 'He trusts you more.'

'I don't understand why you have to hide this from me,' said Emil. He sounded extremely irritated. His face was red. 'I thought we're best friends.'

'Because I'm, like, very confused,' said Leon. 'And I don't want to upset you.'

Emil crossed his arms and sat next to Leon. Neither of them spoke for a long while. They watched the people chatting and walking past. Suddenly, Leon felt a pang of guilt for not revealing the truth to Emil sooner. Deep down, he still had some unrequited feelings towards this silvery-haired boy. He knew he had to get over it. It had been two years since the confession. Emil would never be interested in anyone. He was aromantic. He was asexual.

'I thought we could share anything,' said Emil. 'I'm not upset. You look so absent-minded recently. I need to know what's wrong with you.'

'I'm doing fine,' said Leon. 'Really.'

'So you like him?'

Leon contemplated Emil's words. He had been running away from this question for a while. Did he like Lukas? Or was he just physically drawn to him?

'I'm telling you this because I regard you as a very important friend of mine,' added Emil. 'Lukas isn't normal. I think you know. He has a weird way of expressing himself. If he's hurting you in any way, tell me.'

Leon wondered why Emil would say that. Was it something that happened between Mathias and Lukas? Emil was probably there to witness their quarrel and eventual break-up. Lukas might be a little bit sadistic, but he didn't exactly hurt Leon much. At least, Leon could still tolerate it. He had even got accustomed to it.

'We're good,' said Leon. He wrapped his arms around Emil and gave him a quick hug. 'Thanks by the way.'

'So you're here. I was wondering where you've wandered off to.'

Leon let go of Emil and both of them looked up to see Lukas, standing in front of them impatiently.