A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far :3 I hope you enjoy this chapter! There are so fluffs xd

(13) Confession

Emil peeked at Lukas's face through the rear-view mirror. He looked pale and expressionless as usual. Emil tried to notice any fundamental emotional changes and decided to give up. The silence suffocated him. He remembered Leon's hug and the slight annoyance Lukas showed when he appeared. He knew, for one, Lukas was an extremely jealous person. Basically, he allowed nobody to touch his possession. When he caught Mathias messing with Gilbert and Alfred, he went haywire. And since Emil was a child, Lukas had been there to fight away his bullies, help him overcome any obstacles and take care of him like an actual mother. Their parents were estranged. When Emil bravely suggested studying abroad, Lukas immediately vowed to follow him, abandoning everything he had ever had in Norway.

'Lukas?'

'Yes?' Lukas's lips curved upward. He was trying his best to give Emil a friendly smile. Emil knew he had to be careful of what to say next. The last thing they wanted was end up hurting each other.

'Do you like Leon?' asked Emil bluntly.

Lukas's smile didn't fade, but his gaze remained on the road ahead. Leon had refused to take the ride. He said he would stay in the library for a bit longer to finish his last assignment. Lukas didn't force him and drove Emil home instead.

'That,' sighed Lukas. 'I'm sorry, Emil. You've seen something, haven't you?'

Emil nodded.

'You can be honest with me,' said Emil. 'There's nothing between me and Leon.'

'I know,' said Lukas. 'Otherwise I'd have strangled him long ago.'

Emil fought back a chuckle. That was so Lukas. He knew everything. He was basically everywhere.

'And I wouldn't lie to my little bro,' said Lukas. 'If you really want to know, I'd say I do feel something. He fascinates me. And we're still getting to know each other. I doubt he shares the same feeling though.'

Emil stared out of the window and admired the view of the town park outside. The flowers had blossomed and kids were frolicking gleefully around the fountain. The sky was still blue and the breeze gently caressed his face.

'Why can't you be more…um…' Emil paused, trying to look for the right vocabulary.

'I thought he knew,' said Lukas. 'Maybe not.'

'Lukas,' said Emil as he turned back to glance at his brother. Lukas's smile had vanished. He looked stern again.

'Call me big brother.'

Emil blushed and pouted. 'No, you shouldn't tease Leon too much. He can't take it. He's sensitive. Even more so than me. I know you would find it hardly believable but it's true.'

Emil could vividly remember Leon's tears when he rejected him.

It was a few days before summer vacation began. They were in grade 11, having been best friends for two years or so. Leon had prepared a bouquet. He claimed to have hand-picked all the flowers from the gardening club. Lavender. It matched Emil's eyes. His confession was unnecessarily elaborated and awkward. He even made and decorated an album full of photos that captured their past memories. What he didn't expect was that Emil could never reciprocate to his feelings.

When Emil told Leon candidly that he was asexual, Leon only stood there, somewhat puzzled and ashamed. Puzzled because he was truly embarrassed and didn't know how to clear the mess he had made. Ashamed because he would forever blame himself for not noticing this side of Emil earlier. They both apologised and their friendship crumbled. Leon, unable to face Emil, started avoiding him. Emil knew Leon was crying and breaking inside. He tried to resolve their problem but before he succeeded, Leon had started going out with Arthur.

Arthur was the same age as Lukas, three years older than Leon. He was studying law at that time. He was after Leon's brother, Yao, at first but for some reason, he ended up dating Leon. Emil never got to ask for the details. He was grateful that Leon stopped avoiding him and they began to slowly mend their broken friendship. When Arthur dumped Leon, Emil was there to witness the impact. The sorrow. The shattered dreams. The false hope. He somewhat loathed Arthur for hurting Leon, but Leon kept the accusation to himself. He thought he wasn't good enough for Arthur. He knew he would never be good enough because he was just a substitute. Yao was whom Arthur craved for initially.

'I know,' said Lukas. They stopped in front of their house. Lukas kept his hands on the wheel and asked, 'If, let's say, I really date Leon, will you feel uncomfortable? If yes, I'd-'

'No,' interrupted Emil. This time, he was certain what he wanted. 'I want him to be happy. I want you to be happy too, big brother.'

(14) A Bond

The rain tapped against his window. Some splashed into the room and drenched the curtains. Leon lay languidly on his couch with his eyes shut. He enjoyed rainy days. More often than not, he would have zero motivation to go out and staying home simply listening to the soft symphony of nature soothed him. It was on a rainy day he met Emil. That clumsy boy forgot his umbrella and he ran around the campus like a fugitive. When Leon offered to share his umbrella with him, Emil was soaking wet. He looked like a lost child, someone Leon wanted to protect desperately.

He fell in love with Emil at first sight. His pale porcelain skin. His light blond hair. His pout. His blush. His…everything.

The doorbell broke Leon's train of thoughts. Whoever out there was torturing his ears by ringing the bell incessantly. Each time louder than the last. Leon rolled off the couch and strolled towards the door.

'Geez, I'm, like, coming!' he yelled and opened the door.

Lukas stood in front of him, soaking wet. His face was white and his glare stabbed Leon almost instantly. He shoved Leon back into his house and slammed the door shut. Leon, too thunderstruck to speak, landed on the couch when Lukas cornered him.

For a moment, he thought it was Emil.

They had both run recklessly in the rain, just to meet him.

'What-'

'Shut the fuck up,' hollered Lukas. He took out a paper ball and flung it at Leon. It took Leon a few seconds to realise that it was the cheque he had posted to Lukas several days before.

'What's the meaning of this?'

'Well, you see-'

Lukas tore the cheque into pieces. Droplets of water trickled down the ends of his hair and landed on Leon's petrified face. He stared at the remains of his cheque and balled his hands into fists.

'Are you out of your freaking mind?' he bawled at Lukas. He basically sold his beloved Mercedes and withdrew half of his stock. He didn't want to owe Lukas anything.

'Let's end this,' said Leon. This dangling relationship hanging on a loose thread had to end sooner or later. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. He didn't want to live believing that somebody genuinely cared about him and the next moment his hope shattered. It turned out that he was just a passer-by in Lukas's life.

'No,' said Lukas firmly. He grabbed Leon's collar and yanked him up. 'I decline.'

'You had, like, no reason to help me.'

'Are you that dense?' cried Lukas. 'What else did I have to do to make you get it?'

Leon kept silent. His gaze wandered off to the ground.

'Look at me,' demanded Lukas. 'Listen to what I have to say.'

Leon blinked at Lukas and sighed. He unwrapped Lukas's hands around his collar. 'Go on.'

'We're going out.'

It sounded simple and crystal clear enough. The question that had been roaming in Leon's mind for the past few weeks seemed to disappear in the blink of an eye. Yet, he never felt relieved.

Rather, he was appalled by the unconventional way Lukas did things. Did he have to go through so much trouble just to confess? And did he have to torment his own crush and mentally scar him? Leon could never fathom how Lukas could so confidently claim things selfishly. The entire world revolved around him and Leon was nothing but a tiny chess in his play.

'Woah, that's…like a bit sudden,' responded Leon finally. Before he could try crushing Lukas's pride with a blunt rejection, Lukas said, 'You have no options by the way. Never said you had a choice.'

'What?'

'We're going out,' said Lukas. 'As lovers. That's settled. I don't want to receive any cheque again.'

'Wait, hold on a sec-'

Lukas shushed him with a fiery kiss. Leon knew he stood no chance debating with Lukas. This guy would always get what he wanted. He broke the kiss gasping for air. Lukas traced his lips along his neck and gradually reached down to his shoulder blades. He marked every inch of skin he could possibly explore, never showing mercy to Leon's sensitive areas. Leon slouched back against the couch and let Lukas unbutton his shirt. Frankly, a furious confession like this was definitely one in a billion. He still couldn't keep up with Lukas. He was always way ahead of him, stealing his thunder, destroying his integrity and disrupting his otherwise tranquil life.

'At least,' wheezed Leon. 'Give me a reason. Why me?'

'I'll let you spend your whole life figuring that out,' said Lukas plainly as he briefly exchanged a glance with Leon. He circled the boy's nipple with his thin, long fingers. Leon groaned when he felt an abrupt pinch.

'And if I, like, fail?'

Lukas bit hard onto Leon's neck, causing the boy to yelp in pain. A stream of blood stained his lips. 'Not a chance when I'm still alive.'

Leon chuckled. How romantic. Now he was monopolised and dominated for good. He wondered when Lukas was going to carve on his skin 'Lukas's property'.

(15) Ill

'Damn it,' coughed Lukas. His forehead was burning. His head was spinning. Fragments of his nightmare lingered. His car broke down on the highway and his urge to punch Leon was able to propel him to hop out without an umbrella and dash in the pouring rain.

Leon placed his hand on his forehead. Lukas smacked it away. So much for his pride. He shot Leon a swift glare and snuggled in the blanket, curling up like a pathetic child.

'You're, like, running a fever,' said Leon. It was rather amusing to know that someone like Lukas would fall prey to some silly germs. In all his life, he had never once imagined how Lukas would behave when he was sick. Freaking sick.

Would he whine like a kid? Would he drop his pretence and look frail? Would he throw a tantrum?

Leon chuckled, which only irritated Lukas more. He grabbed Leon's collar and growled, 'What's so funny?'

'Nothing,' said Leon. 'You were, like, pretty loud last night. My ass still hurts. Would you like me to carry you to the clinic?'

'Fuck you,' cursed Lukas. He let go of Leon. The room was whirling around him.

'You already did,' joked Leon. 'Should I tell Emil?'

'What?'

'That you're ill,' said Leon as he read Emil's messages. 'He's, like, asking if you're at my place.'

'Just tell him I'm staying over for the project,' said Lukas. 'Now leave me alone.'

'Are you sure?' Leon raised his brows dubiously. Emil was definitely not going to fall for that lie.

'Just stop talking,' grunted Lukas. He turned over and dug his head into the blanket. 'My head hurts.'

Leon sighed. He left the room and shut the door. Now, Lukas was all alone in the spacious, silent room. The heat was suffocating. He was shivering and sweating at the same time. Seriously, why would Leon leave? Well, he did lash out at him and ask him to go but then he was expecting Leon to insist on staying. He was sick. Coughing. Sweating like crazy. His heart was racing. Was Leon annoyed? Was he fed up with him?

Lukas tried to shake all those negative thoughts out of his mind. He regretted what he had said. Hell, he regretted everything he had done so far. He shouldn't have met Leon in the first place. He shouldn't have teased him so much. Now, he was so ineluctably drawn to him. He wouldn't call it an obsession. No, not yet. Morbid fascination, probably. He was dishonest, way too outspoken and downright rude. And Leon had tolerated all his smug advances and brutal tactics.

Lukas wondered how many times he had to torment Leon and inadvertently drive him away. He was always the one tidying up the mess, regretting. He was the best brother but the worst lover on Earth. That's what Mathias had said about him, also what Emil had to agree with.

'It's got to be karma,' thought Lukas. His head was suffering. Someone was squeezing his brain. He could feel the cells pop and explode. Gosh.

The door was booted open. Familiar footsteps echoed in the room. Leon grabbed a chair and sat down beside the bed. He put down a tray on the nightstand. Only then did Lukas realise that he had been hiding in the blanket grumbling inwardly for half an hour.

'Come on,' said Leon. 'I've, like, cooked you something. You can't take the pills with an empty stomach.'

Leon gave him a nudge. He half expected Lukas to yell at him to keep quiet or worse still, he might just dump the tray on the ground. Lukas slowly got up and glared at him.

'Let's, like, get you well enough to go back home,' said Leon. He took the bowl of porridge in one hand and a spoon in another. 'Seems like you don't wanna see me much.'

'Idiot,' said Lukas. He crossed his arms and croaked, 'Are you going to feed me? If yes, I'm waiting.'

Leon blinked incredulously at Lukas. Did he just ask him to feed him? Actually, he thought he might just hand the meal to Lukas and let him eat by himself.

What a tsundere.

'Um, if that's what you want,' said Leon. He scooped up a spoon of porridge and let it cool before feeding it to Lukas.

'It tastes weird,' commented Lukas, but it was delicious. He decided not to say it.

'We call it congee, actually,' said Leon.

'What's that?' Lukas pointed at the mysterious ingredients in the congee.

'Oh, um, prickled tofu, carrots and salted duck eggs,' said Leon. 'Bet you have never tried the Chinese kind of congee.'

'I have,' argued Lukas with a slight pout. 'A second ago, I just did.'

Leon laughed. Oh well, his laughter was adorable. Lukas hadn't seen him smile in a while, at least, not in front of him. He admitted that he felt jealous sometimes, whenever he saw Leon smiling so unreservedly when he was with Emil. He barely smiled when he was with him. And the more jealous he got, the more he wanted to vent it on Leon.

'So, is it really that bad?' asked Leon as he fed Lukas another spoon.

'Edible.'

'That's, like, merciless of you.' Leon giggled. He didn't know if that blush on Lukas's face was caused by his fever or it was genuine, but either way, it was absolutely tempting. Lukas cleared everything in the bowl. Leon handed him some medicine and a glass of warm water.

'You should, like, sleep,' suggested Leon.

Lukas lay down on the bed. Leon placed a wet towel on his forehead, taking the time to stroke his soft, silky bangs. Lukas's hair was a deeper shade of blond. Emil's was much lighter, almost silvery in the sunlight. Their eyes were both indigo, except that Lukas's were much darker.

'Where're you going?' asked Lukas.

'I'll, like, finish the bibliography for our project,' said Leon.

'You don't know my sources.'

'I'll figure them out,' assured Leon with a wink. 'Will be back in a moment.'

He would have stayed if Lukas had requested, but both of them knew it was impossible. Lukas would, never, ever-

'I want you to stay.'

Leon stared at Lukas in astonishment.

'Grab your laptop. Stay here.'

(16) Feed Me

When Leon finished typing in the last reference, he closed the Google document and left the laptop on the chair. Lukas was sleeping beside him and he actually produced the same little snores like Emil did. Leon was amazed by the subtle similarities the brothers shared. Perhaps Lukas was simply the more expressive alter-ego of Emil. They might be the same in the core.

He changed the towel, glad that Lukas's fever had abated a bit. He bent down to kiss his cheek. Soft. Smooth. Just like Emil's.

Lukas wasn't a substitute. Leon reminded himself that Lukas would always be Lukas. And if he ever knew that he had kissed him during his sleep, he would have tossed him out of the window or flung him across the room.

Or not.

He had never kissed him unless they were having sex.

Leon thought about what Lukas had said before. Why couldn't they date normally? Why was everything so difficult between them?

The more he struggled with various questions, the more he wanted to give up pondering. He simply lay down next to Lukas, who had unconsciously draped an arm around him mistaking him for an extra pillow.

They stayed like this for several hours. Leon, too, fell into a long slumber.

The smell of Leon's cooking woke him. Lukas sat up in bed and shook his head. It didn't hurt as much as before. His limbs were numb. He could vaguely remember Leon's warmth and his unique scent. He had opened his eyes a few times, coming face to face with his snoozing partner. Leon had stayed, even though Lukas was being unreasonably demanding and wicked.

And he had his own reasons.

This seed of insecurity had been planted in him long ago. It was his fault that nobody could stand him. Everyone left eventually, except his family. Emil was too precious. Tino and Berwald would always stand by him. Mathias was better as a brother and a guardian because love and conflicts tore them apart. He couldn't afford to lose anyone he considered indispensable in his life.

He wasn't sure if he could keep Leon forever. He would have caged him if he could. Leon was different. They shared no blood relationships. They weren't sworn brothers. They didn't grow up together.

He was a new island he discovered. He had been sailing aimlessly across oceans and continents. Now presented to him was a completely wondrous treasure. Lukas couldn't guarantee he was the sole one in Leon's eyes but he wanted this treasure so bad that he would kill and hurt someone if he had to. He secretly wished that it wouldn't come true.

'Would you like some noodles and soup?' asked Leon as he entered the room with a tray.

'What kind of soup?' asked Lukas curiously. It smelled appetising.

'Sweet corn pork rib,' said Leon. He let Lukas take a look of the tray. 'Are you, like, feeling better?'

'Yea, thought I might take a bath first,' said Lukas. He couldn't stand the dirty sweat adhering to his skin. 'I'll come back when the food cools down.'

He got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. 'You got any extra clothes?'

'Yes.'

Leon quickly followed Lukas out of the room and prepared a set of clothes for him to change into after his bath.

'I'll wait in the sitting room,' said Leon. He sat on the couch and switched on the telly. He went through different channels and eventually settled on a sit-com.

Some time later, a pair of hands suddenly ghosted around him and a warm kiss was planted on his neck from behind. Lukas had come out of the bath. His hair and eyelashes were wet. He looked so pale his skin seemed to be sparkling.

'What?' Lukas shrugged. 'Can't I kiss you?'

'No, that's not-'

Lukas kissed him again, this time, right on his lips. It was the first time Lukas was kissing him gently and affectionately, not violently trying to tear off his lips or fervently tasting his blood.

They broke the kiss and stared at each other for a moment.

'Where's my dinner?'

'I'll go get it.' Leon stood up and went into the kitchen, where he had kept the tray. Lukas sat at the dining table with his chin in his palms and a rather confident smirk on his face.

'What're you waiting for?' said Lukas. 'Feed me, idiot.'

Leon rolled his eyes.

He began to question his sensibility. Just what exactly made him fall for this awful guy with an ego larger than the whole universe? He didn't know. He would never know.