Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.
Thank you, as always, for your thoughts and reviews: ShugoYuuki123, Angel Hatake, wajagirlliz, SakuMiChanNoGaara, Jemmy, The reviewer, Paperboy Jacky, Tsuki!
The reviewer: To you and anyone who's interested. Chapter two of story Leda will be posted next Saturday!
Happy reading!
P.s. Thank you Angel Hatake for commenting a few chapters back about ANBU's Back to the Past jutsu. I honestly forgot all about it and was just going to make something up. But this makes it so much more convenient.
Chapter Forty-two: Back to the Past.
"Sit down, relax," Gachero-Sensei coaxed. My mind couldn't comprehend, but my body followed his command. I slumped into the closest chair; wooden, fragile, on its last working spools, ready to topple over at any moment.
Like my life.
Gachero-Sensei scurried into what I assumed was the kitchen. This was the first time being at his place. I was surprised I even remembered where his lived, I only walked him home once long ago.
His place wasn't anything spectacular. Small dining room set/ living space following the entrance way. There was a kitchen down the hall one way and I presumed his bedroom and bathroom was down the other. It described Gachero-Sensei perfectly, minimalistic.
Snapping me out of my trance was a glass filled with a clear liquid.
"Here," Gachero-Sensei gestured.
I stared at it as if it was foreign. My brain wasn't putting two and two together.
"It's water. Please, drink some water," Gachero-Sensei spoke softly, placing the cold glass in my frozen hand.
"Thanks," I murmured and took a sip. I didn't realized how dehydrated I was. The cold water felt smoothing on my sandpapered esophagus, a very short-termed paradise.
The glass was already empty by the time sensei grabbed a dining room chair and placed it in front of me.
Gachero-Sensei gathered a quick assessment. He obviously had a million questions and theories rummaging through his mind. Like why a girl was covered in blood, why his student was covered in blood, whose blood was on his student?
What could I have done?
Sensei lightly placed a reassuring hand on my knee. I instinctually flinched, scared it would come and this time destroy me.
"I don't want to pressure you, Quorra," he said calmly. "You don't need to tell me what happened, but just know as your sensei and as your friend, I am here for you."
Everything and nothing flowed through my dendrite-less mind. Should I? Could, I? Did I even have the slightest clue what happened? Gaara and I were talking, the next, I was covered in blood of a guy I presumed was dead.
But he was dead, I was sure of it this time. Dead and rotting in hell where he belonged instead of haunting and torturing my mind, body and soul. Nothing in the heavenly world could revive him. The evidence was covering me from head to toe, but if I thought last time was the last time, this could be a trick, too.
"I don't know what I believe anymore," I cried quietly.
"You can trust me, Quorra. Just talk it out, maybe we can sort it out together."
I nodded, even though I wasn't sure I believed him. I wanted to, I truly with all my heart wanted to think this was okay. That it was just a dream.
"I thought I saw something," I began.
"You think?"
I nodded. "Yes, a creature."
Gachero nodded this time, slowly. "What kind of creature?"
"I don't know. It was too dark to see, but it was massive. Angry tentacles of hair…"
I stopped myself short. Hair? Was that what I saw? Or was I mistaking it with visions of Gaara's hair? The deep redness of his hair like the color of…
"Or sand, or something," I continued. "But it attacked someone, someone who I met during the Chunin Exams."
I stared at my red-stained attire as proof. He got the picture.
"Who was it?" he said.
I shrugged my shoulders. "All I know was that his name was Dosu and that he was from the Sound Country."
His groomed brows furrowed. "All Sensei have access to updated records of the participating shinobi and their status. They do this so that all the nations can be assured there isn't any suspicious business going on and there's proof that all the nations are being treated fairly. No patterns that suggest one nation is pinning against the other and so on."
I wasn't seeing what he was getting at. What did that have to do with what happened to me?
Gachero answered my unspoken thoughts. "All Sound nin were declared dead, their bodies recovered and sent back to their homeland for a proper burial."
I froze. He thought I was crazy. Maybe he thought I was suffering from a delayed PSTD, making me hallucinate. Who knew anymore, maybe I was fucking crazy.
"You don't believe me," I said, somber.
"I didn't say that," Gachero snapped. "I just think you are under a lot of stress and there's only one way to know the truth."
Gachero's eyes softened again. "Why don't you get yourself cleaned off? Have a fresh slate, and then we can talk about our possibilities. How's does that sound?"
Okay.
ξ
Gachero offered me a fresh pair of oversized clothes as he placed my stained ones in the wash. I turned the shower on and let it consume me with its warm watery embrace. I watched the red tainted water swirl around the drain before entering the pipes where my evidence of this massacre could be taken far, far away.
Being in the shower brought me back to the first night I was in Konoha. Kakashi walked me into my new apartment and I took what felt like my first ever shower. Even then I remembered feeling the warm cascading water embrace me like the mother I never had.
Reluctantly, I turned off the shower, dried off and changed. As changing, I noticed the mirror was fogged and wiped it with my sleeve.
There she was, me.
I didn't know why I was surprised by this. It wasn't like I was a vampire or anything. Obviously I would see my reflection. But the memories of that first night trickled in; learning what I actually looked like as I glanced into a fogged mirror.
A year could do a lot to a person. I looked older, matured, but I still had that frightened, unknown look. I traced the outline of her/my face in the mirror.
This girl— me— had no clue what she was. What her aspirations in life were. What her future held. A year might have gone by and I might look different, but I felt the same, lost. And I was so tired of it, so fucking exhausted.
I needed to do it. I needed to have sensei help me reveal my past. The girl in the mirror looked so sad and all I wanted to do was help her, help me.
When the decision came into my mind, the girl in the mirror eyes' widened, no longer somber but determined. We were in this together and we'll find out our past.
Together.
ξ
"Okay," I told Gachero-Sensei taking a seat. "I'll do it."
He looked pleased. "Are you sure? As I said before, the risks aren't pretty. It has to be a full 100% commitment."
"I know." I took a deep breath. "I understand that. I'm ready."
"Right, let's get started then."
Gachero-Sensei began to set up the room. He took dry herbs and lit them, letting their essences diffuse the room.
"Lavender," he explained. "Burning lavender helps with anxiety, unsettlement."
He lit a different herb. "And Sage, for cleansing." He wafted the smell into the room and the combination made my sinuses clear. My mind emptied of its problems.
"I think it's working," I smiled.
He returned the gesture. "Good."
He sat in the chair in front of me. "As ANBU, we were trained in many sections of battle, both upfront and behind the curtains. That also included mastering interrogation techniques."
"So what are you going to do? Swing a pocket watch in front of my eyes or something?"
The joke left a smirk. "Not exactly," he began. "It's a jutsu called Back to the Past where you will be put into a state of reverse hypnosis which will hopefully allow you to remember details that you couldn't remember on your own."
"Okay… what about the side-effects," I asked.
His face scrunched at the question. "Like I said before, there are possible consequences for using this type of technique. The brain is a very powerful tool, stronger than people take it for. The jutsu tricks the brain into tapping into stored memories. It works flawlessly with people who are withholding information because they are choosing not to say anything. With your case, if could be your brain is instinctually protecting you from recalling a traumatizing event."
I was surprised by what he was saying. "You think something bad happened to me?"
"I would hope not, but with these types of jutsu, we have to take everything into account," he explained. "If that is the case and your brain is protecting you, that would mean I would have to be more forceful and dig deeper into your subconscious. But too much force could lead to you shutting down into a catatonic state."
"Catatonic state?" I echoed.
"Right… meaning some pretty heavy-duty permanent damage can come from this." He could see the horror in my eyes and added. "But not to worry. This technique requires you to stay awake and answer the questions I would be asking. If you are in any discomfort or pain, say the word and the jutsu will be cancelled."
Gachero performed the hands signs. "Are you ready?"
I didn't know what to say. My heart was pounding so hard against my ribcage, I couldn't focus my efforts to say the words. I nodded.
Gachero-Sensei nodded with agreement. "Back to the Past Jutsu."
Invisible waves crashed into me like I was being swallowed whole by the Moby Dick of storms. Whether my eyes were closed or if I saw black, I couldn't tell. The crushing pressure of whatever force this was, was making me hyperventilate.
"Relax, I'm right here," a familiar voice called. "Just listen to my voice."
Right. Gachero. I'm under a jutsu. I need to breathe. Relax.
"That's it, good." I could imagine him smiling with glowing celestial blue eyes.
"I'm going to ask you a few basic questions," he said. "First, what is your name?"
My name? It was something so simple, yet so complicated.
"It's Quorra," I said, hesitant. Was that my real name? I remembered being called that, named that, but it felt wrong off the tongue.
"Right," he reassured. "And how old are you?"
"Fourteen." That felt wrong, too.
"Good, good. Now we're going to go into the deeper questions. You ready?"
I nodded yes, but wasn't entirely sure what that meant.
"Can you remember what happened tonight? You said you saw a creature."
A creature? I didn't know what he meant.
"Gaara," I said.
"Gaara?" he asked with puzzlement. "From the Sand Village?"
"I saw Gaara and Dosu… of the Sound."
"But the Sound nin are—
"They are not dead," I barked. "He was not dead. Dosu wasn't dead!"
"Alright, alright, calm yourself." I tried to feel soothed by his word; let the invisible waves take its course.
"So you saw Dosu?"
"Yes he was still alive but a creature killed him," I explained. "Gaara… creature….Dosu…death…"
When there wasn't anything left to say on the matter, I couldn't tell if Gachero was pleased with my answer.
"Let's move on. You struggle to unveil your past. Do you know that?"
"Yes," I spoke.
"Let's focus on that. What's the first born memory you can you think of?" I felt the waves intensifying. If I didn't know I got sea sick before, I did now.
"Quorra, your first memory," he pressed.
My first memory…
"I don't know… I don't know!" I begin to panic again. My stomach was doing flips. I was going to be sick.
"Breathe! Relax!" I felt a pressure on my knee, at least, I thought it was my knee.
"Okay, not a first memory then," Gachero said. "Why don't you go back and tell me something, anything."
Anything…
The stomach settled and the waves calmed. I was in the eye of the storm. Suddenly, my soul felt like it was being plucked out of my body. My soul took me somewhere; an outer body experience. I was trying to show me something.
Anything…
The breeze felt fantastic; better than I could ever imagined. It ruffled in my hair and through my long, white dress.
The view was perfect from here on this rock. The long grass swaying in the open, plateau field; the forest not too far off.
"It's the same forest."
"What forest?"
"From my nightmares. I've been here before."
If he asked my anything else, I couldn't tell…
I stared down at my feet and kicked them, playfully, over the edge. The wind felt great even between my toes. A smile plastered on my face. I have never been this happy in my entire life.
"Thank you for taking me here!" I sang.
"Who am I talking to?"
"Who are you talking to, Quorra? You need to communicate with me," he pleaded but I was already gone.
"I can cross this off my list of places I wanted to go now," I continued. "The caves aren't nearly as fun as this!"
I sounded so happy, so comfortable. I didn't think I ever felt this peaceful before.
"Where else would you want to go?" said a voice. I was with someone else. They sounded distorted, but I was sure it was male. Was it the same voice that called to me in one of my other nightmares? I couldn't tell.
My playful kicks were faster, building up excitement. "Sand! I want to see sand!"
"Sand?" the distortion spoke. "You mean like the beach?"
I sat in wonderment. Thinking how to answer his question. "The beach is certainly somewhere I want to go, but I had the desert in mind."
"The desert," the voice sounded preposterous. "What's so special about the desert? It's hot and windy."
"Exactly! I want to feel the sand in my toes, feel the slashing wind on my skin and see…um, what did you call them? Dumbs?"
"Dunes," he corrected. "They're called dunes."
"Right!" I felt my cheeks heat up from embarrassment. "I want to see dunes and stand on top of the tallest one I can find. I want to see the world from up there!"
The voice chuckled, amused by my enthusiasm. "I'll see what I can do."
I felt my eyes lit up as if a genie appeared to grant me three wishes. "Really! You would do that for me! You're the best!"
Suddenly I had a dandelion in between my fingertips. A perfectly spherical, puffy, white dandelion. I took a deep breath and with all my might, I tried to blow all the little white fluffs off the stem, each carrying a seed to start a new generation. They flew past the voice, a dark figure. All I could see was green pupil-less eyes and red. Everything else was blurred.
I almost succeeded with one last seed and tuff of white remaining. In the background, the world shifted. The grass was scorched. The dandelions that scattered the ground were nothing more than matchsticks, like last time. My pure white dress was once again covered in red.
I felt my cheeks become stained with tears. The emotions felt so real, I thought I was going to vomit them up.
"Quorra, what is it?" Gachero asked. "Please talk to me."
"I'm sitting with him on a rock. He promised me to take me to the desert," I explained.
"Who's taking you to the desert? Why the desert?" he persisted.
I smiled. I knew the answer. I felt it in my being, but I didn't understand it.
"I love you."
"I love you."
As soon as I said it, the vision disappeared. Like fire to film, the edges crumpled and burned away, taking my precious dandelion and perfect landscape with it.
"Come back," I whined.
"Go with it, Quorra. It's your mind wanting to show you something," Gachero said.
I listened to his words and he was right. I was suddenly somewhere else. At least, I thought I was. I couldn't see anything. The atmosphere; however, felt different. It wasn't the same peacefulness I felt moments before. I felt hardened, like an animal that knew it was being watched.
"What do you see?" He was more assertive. He wasn't going to allow me to be vague this time around.
"Nothing," I said. "It's black."
"Push further. Use all your senses," he ordered.
I tired doing so. I concentrated on my senses.
"My skin feels cold. I'm somewhere where it's clammy," I explained.
"Like where? A basement?"
"No, I don't think so." This place felt familiar as well. In my other nightmares, this was where Unknown slept.
"I think I'm in a cave…" I left out the details about Unknown.
"A cave? Great, that's great Quorra. What else?"
"It feels different," I continued. When I've visited the Unknown before, I was free to walk around. Explore his inners and be able to see turmoil.
"Different how?" he asked.
"Like…" I tried to find the right words. "Like I'm caged."
I wasn't caged, per say, but I didn't feel free. Something besides these invisible waves were binding me.
But no matter how hard I tried, everything remained blank. "I think this vision is meant to be dar—"
Suddenly, the air shifted as I sensed someone walking in.
"The trials are going great. We are making great process and promises," spoke a voice.
The voice was different than the last. This was slimy, silvery. It sounded similar, but it was hard to tell with the distortion. All I understood was, I didn't trust this person. My heart was suddenly pounding harder in my chest.
"It better be. We need her." A second voice. This one was different as well, younger, but not as young as me. I couldn't recognize it, either.
"They said they need me," I told Gachero.
"Who does? How many? What they need you for?" he said, harshly.
"I don't know, two? I don't even know who they are!"
"Well keep listening, then," he ordered.
By the time I reconnected to the scene, I felt one less presence.
"I know we have had a few hiccups." The voice was hovering over me now. I couldn't see, but the words crawling from this man's mouth. So close I felt a hand gently touch my forehead. I wanted to flinch, but that's when I felt it.
"I'm being strapped down," I realized.
Underneath this person's hand was a thick strap that circulated my forehead. He rubbed against my restraint as he gently glided his hand through my hair.
"Are they injecting you? Are you hurt?" he questioned.
"No?" I thought that was a rather strange question to ask.
"You are perfect and you will be mine," the voice whispered, sending familiar chills down my spine.
Something or someone bombarded into the room. The footsteps were heavier, filled with determination. They were different than the other pair from before. Those were weightless; barely heard.
If the new entity answered, I couldn't hear. Pain blossomed from my brain and traveled throughout my body. This wasn't from the visions, this was from my other body, my real body.
"I can't anymore," I winced. "The jutsu is starting to wear me."
"You can't give up. We're not done yet," Gachero pressed.
Ignoring my body and listening to sensei…
"What do you want?" the voice over me hissed, not pleased with this guest.
"Someone else entered to room," my brows furrowed.
"Who," Gachero didn't asking kindly. He demanded.
"I don't know!"
"Find out. Who's there! What do they want with you!" he yelled.
The invisible waves intensified. Their momentum so powerful, I for sure thought I was going to capsized. Gachero was increasing the power of the jutsu.
"Stop! I can't do this anymore!" I screamed.
"No! Keep going!" the jutsu and the invisible waves pressed on. "I need something here— we need something!"
He wanted to find answers as badly as I did. He was only doing this in hopes I could grasp something— anything that can be concrete evidence.
And with all my will power, I surged forward. The more I tried, the hazier the vision was. It felt like I was being pulled away by a Godly force, trying to return to my real body. My soul resisted the gravitational pull.
Before I was finished for, my essence torn from the dream and violently shoved into my claustrophobic body, a voice traveled from the darkness and grazed my ears.
"Snow."
The force was doubling, tripling, more— I couldn't do it anymore. My body spun. My nose and ears streamed hot fluids. I couldn't see still; not knowing if I was back in my body or if I was being consumed by a monster.
And I wouldn't know as the pain becomes too much and I feel my body slam into the ground.
LOTS of clues and foreshadowing in this one! Any theories? If you want to refresh on Quorra's past nightmares/visions they are in chapters 6, 18, 30. (I find it ironic there was a vision every 12 chapters. Totally didn't plan that)
Gaara, Mae, and others will be in the next chapter for those who missed them.
xo