Hey everyone, I updated a couple parts of the last two chapters. I forgot to add in that Lily wears a chain that has both her and James wedding bands on it.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was one of the hardest to write for me. I wanted to get it right and I don't think that it is as good as it should be. I'm not 100% happy with the dialogue. Let me know what you think!
As Thanksgiving approached, the weather got cooler. Still warm during the day, but cold and windy at night, the trees were stripped bare of their leaves and the sunsets became more vivid and dramatic. The hustle and bustle of the little island started to slow as the number of tourists dwindled down to nothing. The ocean waves crashed upon the beach with the tide, fingers of seaweed dragging through the sand and sweeping back out to sea, turning gunmetal gray.
Remus stopped by for Thanksgiving and they watched as many of their neighbors put up Christmas lights and decorations on their houses, the men cursing under their breaths as they hit their thumbs with a hammer or stepped on bulbs. Then they just listened to the waves crash on the beach from a distance. Lily had gone to put Harry down for bed. The two men sat outside, tired and full of turkey and potatoes and casserole. As she walked inside to Harry's room, Sirius said abruptly.
"Moony, I think I'm going to marry her." Remus lowered the wine glass from his lips and looked at him, his head cocked, a small smile on his mouth.
"Does she know that?" His grin widened.
"Shut up, you know what I mean." Sirius still hadn't looked at him.
'How are you going to ask her?" At this, Sirius did look over at his friend, a blank look on his face.
"I'm not sure. I figured at Christmas or something." He paused, unsure. "Do you think that she will say yes? Is it a bad idea to even bring it up?"
"I think that you too already seem married. You've lived together, raising a child for almost 3 years. You know each other and are comfortable with each other. I honestly do not know the answer to that question, Sirius. She certainly doesn't wear her ring anymore…" He said to him and Sirius leaned back again, contemplating.
"I guess we will see."
Sirius was bringing towels from the laundry a couple weeks after Thanksgiving dinner when he looked in the bathroom. Lily was sitting on the edge of the tub. He walked in, setting the towels on the sink.
"You feeling alright, Lily?" he asked. She looked at him, her eyes a little far away.
"I– I'm… I'm late." Sirius didn't understand at first.
"Late for what? Did you have something you were supposed to do today?" He placed the towels in the alcove.
"No… Sirius, I'm late." She focused on him and he looked down at her, her words clicking into place. "I'm late." She stood up suddenly and went into one of the drawers and pulled out a small date booklet. She started muttering to herself about dates and how it wasn't possible. "When… did we… but that…"
"How late, Lily?" He asked her as he caught up to what was happening. He had a small smile on his face. When she didn't answer, he took the book from her hands and looked at it. There were red filled in circles for the days she got her monthly. She was supposed to have gotten it almost 3 weeks ago, just before Thanksgiving. His mind flashed to the one time they had made a mistake. His smile got a tiny bit bigger as he remembered and he looked at her. She had a blank sort of look on her face.
"Are you ok, Lils?" She looked at him again, confused by his smile, the sound of waves crashing in her head as she tried to organize her thoughts. He looked at her, so calm, his eyes shining as he looked into hers. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know how to react to his reaction. She had expected him to panic. "Do you need a moment?" He asked her and she just nodded. He left the bathroom and sat on the bed and waited.
He was unsure how to react now. He wasn't upset but she seemed very much upset about this. He thought of the ring that he had in the dresser and it made him start to panic. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind and continued to wait. She eventually emerged from the bathroom. She stood in the doorway, unsure of herself and gave a shy smile. Sirius stood up, grinning at her as he stood and took a few steps closer.
"Do you want to restart this?" He asked, holding out his hand for her to take.
"Sirius…. I think I'm pregnant–" she gave another shy smile and placed her hand in his. He pulled her forward and swept her up into his arms, swinging her around, a bark of laughter escaping his lips. He held her so close she could barely breathe. Tears threatened to spill. She found that she had been more worried about his reaction than anything. The initial shock was wearing off. He pulled back slightly to look into her eyes.
"Is this… is this what you want?"
She hadn't thought about it in a long time. It had simply fallen in her lap and she couldn't think of anything other than the man who had his arms around her and was laughing with joy. She nodded and he pressed his lips to hers briefly and gave a whoop of excitement. She laughed with exhilaration. Finally allowing herself to feel truly happy in the moment.
"We're going to have a baby." She said, the words flowing from her lips easily.
"Lily, this–this is amazing!" He spun her around again and placed her feet on the ground, giving her a quick kiss as Harry came into the room, looking inquisitive. Sirius walked up to him and swung him into his arms. The little boy laughed.
"You're going to be a big brother, Harry! " he said, walking over to where Lily still stood, a tear escaping her eye, but she was smiling and that was all that mattered. Sirius gently wiped the tear away. The smile on Harry's face grew even bigger.
"A brother?" Harry asked and Sirius gave another bark of laughter.
"With any luck!" He embraced the little boy, kissing the top of his head as he looked back at Lily, her cheeks had tears on them and he felt his own eyes prick. He pulled her into him and together they embraced Harry.
It was such a new feeling for Sirius. If you had asked him even a few years ago, he would have said that he had never considered being a father. Harry had changed that. He had tried to be a good father figure for him. He had tried to be there for him. Never trying to take the place of James, but to be someone he could rely on. Someone he could lean on. Someone Lily could lean on. He hadn't been perfect. He didn't always know what to do. But he knew he would always be there for them. It was the promise he had made to James the moment he had said he would be Harry's godfather. He would be there to guide him when James couldn't. Be that separate entity that he could come to when his parents were too hard to approach. He never thought it would end with something like this.
"We're having a baby!" He said again and her smile was radiant.
They were lying in bed that night. Lily had gone quiet and so had Sirius. They didn't say a word. Sirius was looking up at the ceiling, screwing up his nerve to say what he wanted to say. Of course it came out all the wrong ways.
"Lily?" She looked at him, rolling onto her side. She waited as he hesitated. He just spoke it. Calm and even.
"Marry me?" He looked away from the ceiling and at her. Her face froze, again. Maybe now wasn't the time, he thought to himself. He cringed when she spoke.
"Sirius, you don't have to… just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean–" he interrupted her, because he knew immediately what she was thinking.
"No. Lily" He sat up and looked at her. "Marry me." She blinked at him as he asked the question again. He continued. "Because it has nothing to do with the pregnancy and everything to do with the pregnancy. Because aside from that–." He paused as he got up and went to the dresser. He pulled out a box. "I had already been planning….I know you haven't been wearing the ring James gave you," he said. Nervous she would get mad, nervous she would say no because from the look on her face, he was pretty sure she would say no. "I–" he didn't know what else to say so he just opened the box and showed her. It was the ring James had given her, but it was different. There were two stones in it now. The diamond James had given her and a sapphire. Side by side. She felt her eyes well with tears as she looked up at him.
"James is never going to be forgotten. He is as much a part of you as he ever was. He was my best friend. My brother, a part of me as well, and I don't want you to let go of the part of you that loves him. Because I know you always will. I do not want to take his place, but I do want to take my place at your side. I'm not him and I never will be, but I love you, with everything I have. And I love Harry. I'm in this, all the way. I'm not going anywhere, ever." He looked down into her gleaming eyes and he felt tears well in his own eyes. He blinked and one slipped past and ran down his cheek. "I've said it before. I meant it then and I mean it now. I want to marry you. And I'm asking–" She got up and pulled his lips to hers, stopping him from talking any further.
"Yes." he looked at her as if to argue his point some more, but then he closed his mouth, looking at her hard.
"Y-yes?" he stuttered, barely believing his own ears.
"Yes." And she smiled a dazzling smile as she put her left hand in his, waiting. He slid the ring onto her finger. She reached her hand up and wiped away the escaped tear with the pad of her thumb, keeping the palm of her hand to his cheek.
"I was afraid you were going to be mad… about the ring." He mumbled, eyes on her lips.
"It's perfect." Her lips were a breath away, he felt her breath dance tantalizingly across his own lips. He closed the space and kissed her.
The smell of the Christmas tree greeted her in the morning, the baubles glittering in the weak morning sunlight streaming through the windows. Miri was investigating the packages underneath it and eying the branches mischievously. Lily shooed her away and she gave her a baleful look as she retreated from under the tree. Lily touched her hand to her belly, still flat, but without a doubt, she was pregnant. She felt as sure as she had been when she had been pregnant with Harry. Sirius walked in and handed her a cup of tea, giving her a sweet kiss on the lips.
"Happy Christmas, Lils." She took the mug from him and held it in her hands. The fire was already going in the hearth. Harry was still in bed. She breathed in the smell of bergamot mixed with the smell of pine. Sirius came up behind her and kissed her neck softly, his arms circling her waist, his hips against her bum and he swayed slightly. They heard the patter of little feet and the scrabble of nails on the hardwood as Harry and Charlie came running into the room, Miri took off to another room as Harry collided with them and Charlie chased the cat around the house.
"Happy Christmas!" he shouted at them, his smile wide as he jumped up onto Sirius's back from the floor. Impressive, but he had used magic to do so. He was getting better at it. Lily was surprised he had managed to stay in bed so long, but it had been a late night for all of them.
"When is Remus gonna get here?" He asked in Sirius's ear. He looked down at his watch.
"Pretty soon, kid. Why don't you open your gifts? Go get the one from me and mummy first." Sirius pointed to the long slim box on the floor in front of the tree. Lily rolled her eyes. Wondering why, of all things, Sirius would get a 4 year old this. Granted he had gotten him a toy one like this for his first birthday. But this one wasn't a toy. Harry unwrapped it hastily and his eyes got huge and his mouth opened in silent awe. He reached in and pulled out the gleaming handle of a child size Bluebottle.
"We can go somewhere and I'll teach you how to use it." Sirius said excitedly as he knelt down next to him. "Your dad was amazing on a broom. He was a great quidditch player, too. Got to get you ready for when you go to school." Lily sat on the couch and watched as Sirius talked about the broom with him.
"What broom did dad have?" He asked.
"A Comet One Ninety. They have much better ones now, though." he looked at Lily. She had agreed that he could have one, but she looked a little apprehensive.
"Do you have a broom, Sirius?" he asked, his eyes still on the broom in his hands.
"Nah, I had a flying motorbike. So much better." At this, Harry turned and looked at him.
"Can we go on that!?" But Sirius just shook his head.
"I don't have it here. And Mum would kill me if I let you on it, anyway."
Just then, the fire flared and Remus stepped out into the living room, brushing ash off of his sweater. He smiled as he saw the Bluebottle in Harry's hands.
"Really? Lily, you agree with this? Happy Christmas by the way." He leaned down and gave Harry and Sirius each a hug, handing them their gifts, and then sat next to Lily on the couch. He handed her a box. Harry ripped open the paper and immediately opened the box of chocolate frogs, his favorite, and bit the head off of the frog, looking at the card, the Bluebottle forgotten for a moment. Sirius opened his. It was a kit for his motorcycle and a guide for how to perform intricate maintenance.
"For when you get back to your bike," he said as Sirius smiled. He did miss the bike a lot. Lily opened her gift and smiled as she pulled out an intricate flower pot from the box he had given her. She looked up at him, a questioning look on her face.
"It goes with Sirius's gift. It's enchanted. I'm not really sure what it is enchanted to do, but Sirius said to get this specific one." Sirius stood up at that moment and sat next to them. He pulled out a small package from his pocket and opened it. He poured the contents of it into the pot. Dirt filled it to about three quarters of the way and from the soil sprouted a single flower. A larkspur. Next to it, a small sprout started, but did not bloom. Just a dark green sprout, waiting expectantly.
"The larkspur is the flower of July. Harry's flower." Sirius said he looked down at her hands, one of her hands reaching for the soft tiny blue petals of the flower. Remus looked amazed at it. It was a beautiful bit of magic. Not something that he would have expected from Sirius. His gaze went from the larkspur to the sprout and then to Lily and Sirius, knowing what it meant without having to ask. His smile widened.
"Expecting another flower, then?" He asked and one of Lily's hands went to her belly as she smiled down at it. Harry, who had been watching as the flower grew, walked up to get a closer look.
"Mummy's going to have a baby!" Harry exclaimed. Remus looked at the two next to him.
"Really? A baby?" He remembered her words, wanting a large family. The sadness that had filled her voice when the realization that that would never come to pass. The look that passed between them made his heart ache in a way that made him both happy and sad at the same time. He embraced Lily and gripped Sirius's arm in congratulations. Harry was over the moon with the knowledge that he would be a big brother.
Remus shoved his own emotions down as the morning continued on. Crackers were pulled and as the night came to an end, a cup of hot chocolate in each of their hands, a light snow began to fall. The small flakes swirling through the air as the neighbors all stepped outside as well to watch the snow fall from the heavens.
I actually did some research and Christmas of 1984 in Charleston South Carolina, there was a light snow that fell that night! I thought it was super magical, so I included it. I thought it was a good conclusion of the chapter!