CONFRONTATION

Shara has been dreading this but now the time has come to deal with her in-laws. By: DK

…

She knew they hadn't expected her to give the order to take her father off the machines. She knew they would be concerned when they discovered that the credits for his medical care had been refunded to their account. Shara didn't care what the Rash family thought. He was her father and these were her decisions to make.

Sanjay said he hadn't told his mother that Shara wanted a divorce but she must suspect something of the sort. Shara had been away on the Northern Sea for over a month and since she'd been back in Iziz she hadn't set foot in the Rash estate. Had he really expected that he could just welcome her back with open arms and she would submit to everything they way it had been before?

Shara paced back and forth across the floor of the Bonteris' sitting room. She was wearing a mourning gown borrowed from Lana, the stays pulled extra tight to fit her thin frame. Her sickness on the sea voyage, secluding herself from captain and crew, and then her worry over her father had left her almost gaunt.

She smoothed her hands down the front of the dress. What if she had been pregnant? Would she have even risked her beast master duties?

She'd been reckless. It had been a gamble that her last encounter with Sanjay had been just as fruitless as all the rest. And she was glad for the first time since their relationship began. Shara was unspeakably thankful that there was no child growing within her to tie her to the House of Rash.

What else was there? The vows they had said before Naidon Kira? The crazy old man was the only witness and no one had seen him since he'd been denied Bremon's child who had been prophesied to be a powerful Force user. Surely if that had been the case Mel and her baby wouldn't have died in that crash.

Everything changed that day. The promises she and Sanjay had made to each other months before their so called wedding didn't seem to matter anymore.

She remembered what it had been like in the beginning, the compassion she had felt for the lord's son who was under so much pressure to live up to his family name. He had seemed so sad and all she had wanted to do was to bring some joy into his life.

She remembered the way his eyes would light up when she'd arrive with the fruit delivery and she'd tease him that it was only the jogans he was excited about and it had nothing to do with her. Then he would take her hand and lead her to some quiet corner where they could be alone together. He'd been shy at first but she'd drawn him out. He'd been so surprised when she'd told him that she didn't have a boyfriend and had never really ever had one.

"How is it possible that a girl as beautiful as you has gone so long without an army of suitors?" Sanjay had asked her.

She'd gone on to explain how her father had always tried to protect her from the wrong sort of attention or had charged one of her beast rider 'brothers' to watch out for her. As such everyone among her own circle had tended to stay away.

"Do you want me to stay away?" Sanjay had asked before he bent to kiss her that first time.

She was still thinking of that kiss when the man himself came charging into the sitting room. He raced to her and then his mouth was on hers. It was only because she'd just been reliving old memories that she allowed the kiss to linger. And then rather than Sanjay, another face swam into her imagination. How was it possible that she suddenly felt as if she was cheating on Jamos with her husband? She pushed him away and she saw that his mother had followed him into the room.

"You're too thin, Shara. Haven't your hosts been feeding you properly?" was Lady Rash's greeting.

Shara gritted her teeth. "Worried your broodmare isn't getting sufficient nutrition?"

"Shara?" Sanjay whispered, shocked at her words. "Mother was only trying…"

"You said it, not me." Lady Rash waved a hand haughtily.

"Mother, she's just lost her Father." Sanjay put an arm around his wife.

She attempted to shrug him off but still gave him a grudging, "Thank you."

"Of course, my love, that's why we're here." He tried to kiss her temple but she bowed away from him.

"You still haven't told her." Shara accused him.

He pulled her closer even though she was attempting to leave his side. "I was sure it was only the worry over your father," he whispered. "You couldn't possibly want…"

The Blackwells entered the room then, followed by their hosts Dane and Mina.

Sanjay loosened his hold enough that Shara was able to move away from him and she went to stand between Lana and Mina.

Lana gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. Dane and Marlon stood imposingly on either side of their wives.

Sanjay seemed to shrink a little, faced by the wall of opposition, before his mother elbowed him and forced him to stand to his full height.

After a few more uncomfortable moments of silence Sanda Rash huffed with annoyance. "Are we expecting anyone else? Is this…" she gestured towards those present as if they were beneath her. "My daughter-in-law's full guard?"

"You're the one who called this meeting," Marlon growled. "So why don't you tell us what it's all about."

Lana patted his arm to calm him but the look on her face was just as stern.

"I shouldn't have had to request a meeting. If Shara had been allowed to come home where she belongs…"

"I wanted to stay here!" Shara spoke up a little more harshly than she intended. She swallowed and then began again. "I wanted to…"

"To be closer to the med center." Sanjay stared imploringly into her eyes. "To be closer to your father. But now that… now you can come home and be with your family."

Shara shook her head she wanted to scream that she would never return to that prison. But the pleading in Sanjay's expression stopped her short.

She remembered the first time she'd given herself to him, how he'd promised that as soon as they had a child on the way they would tell everyone. And then his mother would see how they were meant for each other.

She had cried out in pain when he took her and it wasn't until then that he really believed that he was her first. He must have grown so accustom to deceptions, being raised by his mother, that he would never expect that that a pretty girl would be honest about saving herself for him.

Thinking about himself, Shara realized in hindsight. He hadn't held her to console her in her pain and the loss of her virginity. He had thanked her for giving him her friendship and some day soon a child to carry on his name.

"Of course, Sanjay, I love you." She'd told him, needing to hear the words in return and only then did he look back at her and smile. It was like she'd spoken the words in a foreign language that he only now had come to understand. And she'd wondered then if his parents had ever told him that they loved him.

"I… love you," he'd said then, brokenly for the first time.

She had felt so sorry for him, thinking about how much her father loved her and how much she loved her father. That was why she wanted so badly to give Sanjay a child and why she had sung him that song on their wedding night, the old beast rider's song about a child's love for his father.

Sanjay had told her enough times since then that he loved her but now she wondered if he ever truly understood what he was saying. He had told her he loved her a month ago while he was taking her against her will. Even if she was a whore, he'd said, he still 'loved' her.

Shara pressed her eyes shut so she didn't have to look at him standing there across the room.

"That still doesn't explain why the credits we had paid to cover her father's treatment were refunded to our account from the med center," Mother Rash was saying.

Shara shook her head to bring herself back to the present. "I wanted to pay for that myself," she spoke up.

"You?" Mother Rash stared at her in surprise. "What means have you of coming up with such a sum?"

"I… got a job."

"Shara," Sanjay drew her attention once again with the offended tone of his voice. "There was no need for you to go back to work. I took you away from all that when we were married. I … my family will provide everything you need."

"I like working." She dropped her gaze. "I was bored shut up in that house all the time."

"She's good at what she does, too." Marlon added, not very helpfully.

The color rose in Shara's cheeks at the praise and then burned brighter when she heard the jealousy in her husband's voice. "We'll find you something to keep you occupied here. You needn't run all the way to the Northern Sea because you're bored!"

"That's not exactly what I…" Shara began but she was interrupted by her mother-in-law.

"Of course you will allow us to help with the burial arrangements and expenses." It was not a question.

Shara straightened her spine and looked the elder Lady Rash in the eye. "The Rupingwood tomb is in the beast riders' cemetery. It's where my mother was laid and it's where my father wanted to rest as well." She was glad she was able to finish the sentence without breaking down. A small sob escaped her as soon as the words were out.

Sanjay stepped towards her and took her hands in his in an attempt to comfort her. It was a sweet gesture but it was too little too late.

Dane and Marlon closed ranks protectively but Sanjay hardly seemed to notice. "Come home," he whispered to her desperately. "Let me take care of you."

"That's not my home." Shara replied. "I want…"

He didn't let her finish, throwing a worried glance back at his mother. "Alright, if you need a bit of time and space to grieve." He looked around, annoyed at the Bonteris and Blackwells as if they were the ones crowding his wife.

"I assume you will comm us with the date and time of the funeral?" Mother Rash asked, clearly done with the audience.

"Yes, of course we will." Mina spoke up for the company. The others seemed preoccupied with frowning at Sanjay in various degrees of anger and incredulity.

"Come along then, Sanjay." She ordered him like a child or a pet.

To her surprise he didn't immediately follow. "In a moment, Mother. I'd like to speak with Shara." He looked around at the others. "Alone?"

"I'll be outside in the speeder. Please don't keep me waiting long. It's a warm day." Lady Rash made her way towards the door and Mina as lady of the house went along to see her out. The others seemed in no way willing to leave Shara alone with the young man.

Sanjay visibly relaxed once his mother had left the room. "Please." He said again looking this time directly at his wife.

"It's okay." Shara nodded to the others.

"We'll be right outside if you need us," Dane assured her as they hesitantly left the couple alone.

The first thing Shara did once the door was shut was to take two large steps to put some distance between she and her husband. His disappointment was palpable. "You left your necklace at the med center. I'm sure it was an accident. Your mind was on other things."

"I don't want it." She turned away from him.

"Is there someone else?" Sanjay jumped right to the question he most wanted to have answered.

Of course Jamos's face sprang into her mind almost immediately, but she hadn't even known him when she had first decided she had to get away. "No," she said and she was glad that it didn't feel like a lie.

"When I said that… when I called you… I never should have called you that! It was inexcusable. But what I meant was if… you had been with someone else… I would still love you."

She didn't say a word.

"Is it because of mother?" He stepped up close behind her and put his hands on her waist.

"In part, I suppose." Shara tried to move away from him but his arms circled her holding her in place.

"She was right about your getting so thin." His breathing was becoming more ragged. "I could fix that. Let me put my child in your belly."

"Sanjay, please I…"

"It's what we both want, what we've always wanted."

She managed to twist out of his grasp. "And we tried for two years and failed. Besides, it's… it's not the same at all. You want a way to carry on your name. I want a baby to hold in my arms to love and sing to and nurture, to watch them grow up and teach them what's right…"

"I'll give you that," he said grabbing for her again.

"No. Even if we could..." She backed further away. "You know it wouldn't happen that way. As soon as your mother has an heir it will be all wet nurses and nannies and tutors and boarding school. She won't want me to have anything to do with raising her precious grandchild."

He tried to make a joke. "Then she will leave you and I free to make another, and surely the second will be allowed more leniency. Melanna was always able to get away with…."

"And what if I can't give you a second!" She yelled and then fought to calm herself. "What if I can never give you any children at all? Let me go, Sanjay. Go find someone else who's worthy and capable of providing the next generation of the House of Rash."

"I don't want anyone else, Shara." He seethed. "I want you!"

Just then the door burst open and in marched Lady Rash followed by a droid. "I nearly forgot. You may be thin as a whip but you could still be hiding the spark of life deep within your womb."

"You want that thing to scan me?" Shara asked, raising her arms to give the optical sensors better access to her midsection. "Fine. I've nothing to hide."

As the droid began its scan, Lieutenant Bonteri raced back into the room. "What's going on here?" Dane demanded.

Shara had reached her limit. She was done with being polite and she was done with the House of Rash. "My mother-in-law is just making sure I haven't been prostituting myself on the high seas."

"Shara?" Sanjay exclaimed, shocked.

She turned on him, even as the droid proclaimed that her womb was still empty. "Tell her! Tell your mother what I want."

He looked back and forth between the two women. "I- I can't … don't want…"

Shara fumed. "Well if you won't." She turned back to the elder Lady Rash and looked her fearlessly in the eye. "I want a divorce. I want to be free of you and your son and your whole family!"

Sanjay came to her side, incoherently pleading with her, practically grovelling at her feet.

She tried to shake him off. "That is if a divorce is even necessary." Shara went on. "As we had no family witnesses and the man who performed the ceremony is long gone."

"Oh, Sanjay, stop sniveling. You're making a fool of yourself," his mother chided him. Then she heaved a great sigh as if she had known this coming all along. "If it's what she wants and she's failed to provide you with an heir…"

"Mother, I love her!" Sanjay whined. "I vowed that I would be hers and she would be mine forever!"

Shara was about to say something but she didn't have to. For once in a lifetime she and Sanda Rash agreed on something. The matriarch shook her head. "And there was no one present to witness your vows which makes them all but invalid."

Sanjay frantically tried to salvage the situation. "But everyone believes us to be married. Think of the scandal, Mother."

Shara looked to Dane for help. The Lieutenant had certainly dodged a blaster bolt when he had married Mina rather than going through with his betrothal to Melaana and joining this insane family. He nodded to her in solidarity.

Mother Rash was just answering her son's point, "That is why you will stand up with her at her father's funeral and then we will set a date to quietly address the issue of the annulment of your marriage."

"It is time for both of you to leave." Dane said as politely but firmly as he could.

"You are quite right." Lady Rash motioned to her droid and then to her son. "Come along, Sanjay."

Sanjay turned to Shara once more before he followed his mother out. "I will stand by you at the funeral. I will always stand by you. I love you, Shara." Before she could react he kissed her hard and then swept out of the room.

"Are you alright?" Dane asked her, worry evident in his expression as well as embarrassment that he had allowed such a thing to take place under his roof.

"I… I'm fine. Or I will be."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner. There was a comm. Little Dalla sneezed. Marlon's brother was worried about her. Mina was attempting to explain what we did to treat Lux when he had similar symptoms…"

Just then there was a yell from out in the hallway. It was Lana's voice. "You won't come anywhere near her! If you do I will fight you here or I'll fight you in the north! I will fight you on the very steps of the palace with Dendup as referee…."

Dane and Shara looked at one another and then ran out the door to see what had happened.

The driver of the speeder was taking the Rashes away down the street as fast as the vehicle could carry them and Lana Blackwell looked as if she might run after them on foot. Marlon had a hand on her shoulder but he was smiling, proud of his wife's strength.

"What happened?" Mina asked before anyone else could, rushing out of the house with Lux in her arms.

Lana was shaking with rage. "That woman," she cursed in Onderonian. "Told her son that if Shara was still the girl he wanted that he had to find a way to get her pregnant before the date of the annulment."

They were all so busy watching the Rashes race away in their speeder that no one was paying attention to the other family that walked up and joined them from the other direction.

"Guess I'm not getting my fishing boat back, then?" A deep voice made Shara jump and spin around.

"Geb!" She exclaimed, reaching up and standing on her toes to throw her arms around the big carpenter in a hug. "I'm sorry. I left it up at the Hold."

He laughed . "That's alright, little one. I can make another."

"And Edda," Shara moved from the man to his wife and embraced the woman as well. "You came!"

"Why of course we did." Edda passed the baby girl she was holding over to her husband and held Shara back at arm's length to look her over. "We all miss him, child, but your father wouldn't want you to starve yourself."

"I know. I forget." She shrugged. From her old friend the admonishment was easier to take.

Edda gave her a motherly pat I on the cheek. "I brought you some of my jogan pie. You won't forget to eat that, will you?"

"No." Shara shook her head. "I might share a few slices though."

"These are the Blackwells I presume?" Edda asked. The Gerreras were already acquainted with Dane and Mina, and Geb, not standing on ceremony, had already extended his hand to Marlon and introduced himself.

Shara was glad. She was too drained to make formal introductions. "This is Marlon and Lana, Edda, Geb…"

"And me!" The little boy pushed his way forward past his parents and announced his presence.

"And this is Sawyer." Shara smiled at him.

He scowled. "It's Saw and that's Steela!" He pointed out his sister so she could have equal attention.

"Of course. I would never forget Steela." She assured him.

He nodded, appeased for the moment.

"She is darling." Lana told Edda. "But she makes me miss my Dalla. How old is she?"

"A year this past week, and into everything." Edda pulled her daughter's hand back from trying to grab for Lux.

Steela squealed, "Baby! Baby!"

Tears came unbidden to Shara's eyes. She remembered when Edda had announced that she and Geb were expecting again. Shara and Sanjay had only just started trying but she'd been so sure that it was only a matter of time before there would be a playmate for the new Gerrera baby.

Edda turned to her with concern when she heard Shara sob. "Ah Shar." Then she asked Mina. "Is there a place where we can go and talk?"

"The sitting room is open. You can take her there, and I'll have the droid come and bring you both some refreshments." Mina opened the door with her free hand and ushered them into the front hall.

Once they were alone and the door shut behind them, Shara allowed Edda to draw her into a hug as her tears continued to fall.

"Your father was a good man. He loved you. But he's not in any pain now. He's gone to be with your mother."

"I know all that." Shara pulled back a bit and sniffed. "I wasn't… thinking of him just now." That made it worse. She sobbed at her own selfishness. "I was thinking that… that I never… I mean that I couldn't… I'm still not… pregnant."

Edda's eyebrows raised. "Don't tell me you were hoping to be."

"Well no, of course not, not now but… What if it was my fault? What if I can't? If I'm never able to…"

"Shara girl," Edda sighed and pulled her back into a hug. "Don't you worry about that. When the time is right and when the right man comes along… "

Shara leaned back to look her friend in the eye. "I think he already has."

"Oh has he? And just who might this be?"

…

There's a lot of history between these two friends. Even though Edda is around 11 years older than Shara, she filled a big sister role and attempted to answer the sort of questions that were too uncomfortable for Shara's father to deal with. Being busy with her own family however, Edda wasn't always able to keep as close an eye on her young friend as she would have liked and to her dismay her advice was often misinterpreted.

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