AN: Probably should have clarified last chapter and my decision to merge Leda's story into the main story. It does take place in the world of Avatar the Last Airbender but it won't follow any storyline and knowing any prior knowledge of that world isn't neccessary.

Also, just saw we are over 300 followers. I'm beyond thankful people still find an interest to my story, despite my painstakingly slow updates.

Enjoy!

Chapter Fifty-one: Grains of a Hourglass

Small feathers snowed with an aura of warmth, falling with grace and comfort. They were a gateway drug that I embraced as the numbness corroded my frantic mind. No longer recalling why I felt so distraught. All future negativity felt impossible to fabricate as I continued to welcome the feathers with open arms.

I was no longer standing. Did I fall? Did it matter? I couldn't remember previous actions as I laid under the open sky. The radiant sun beaming down. Above me, the source of the white feathers, were birds circling as black as midnight.

Even though I felt grounded, safe, I became envious of these avian Grim Reapers. They had an aerial view of this world. A view no matter what tree I climbed, how tall of a mountain I scaled, would not compare to their bird's eye view. While us humans were down here plodding about with unbearable weight on us, birds soared effortlessly above. Maybe they're laughing, feeling pity for us earthbound creatures. I wouldn't blame them. I, too, would laugh if I were lithe and my path depended on where the wind wanted to take me that day. Travelers in their free, non-grounded world.

The feathers laid besides me, delicate enough to crumble upon touch, resting on soil I wasn't accustomed to. The deep, rich, earthy tones were replaced with grains that stung my nostrils if I breathed in too sharply. Grabbing a handful, the grains trickled through my fingers.

"Sand! I want to see sand!" The words didn't come from my lips.

"Sand? You mean like the beach?" They surrounded me with no exact source. A conservation between an excited girl and a distorted male.

"The beach is certainly somewhere I want to go, but I had the desert in mind." Was this sand? Was I at a desert? As if the birds could hear my unspoken thoughts, they scattered, disrupting their circle of peace.

"What's so special about the desert? It's hot and windy." The memory, or non-memory was coming back to me. I recalled this discussion when I was placed under that awful spell- the Back to the Past jutsu.

"Exactly! I want to feel the sand in my toes, feel wind on my skin..." I couldn't feel the sand in my toes, nor the wind on my skin. My body was numb to this world.

"I'll see what I can do." My emotions tried to take over as I recalled what came next. The drug was wearing off and my vision began to warp, like I was underwater in the driest place in the world.

"Really? You would do that for me? You're the best!" My heart fought to feel once again, fighting the undertow.

"I love you"

Like a switch, the world became dark. All signs of birds, excited girls and sand was replaced with darkness.

"The trials are going great. We are making great progress and promises." This felt wrong.

"It better be. We need her." I no longer felt numb. Like an addict, I begged for the drugs to return, my Savior, but to no avail. I winced as I struggled beneath the strap that held firmly across my forehead.

Suddenly, my perception of the world was thrown off balance as I laid sideways on the ground. Dirt and grime rubbed abrasively against my cheek. Heavy-duty chains wrapped multiple times around my frail body, binding me in place.

This wasn't happening. My heart was in flight mode, pounding on my chest. I so badly wanted to go back. Back to the sand, the birds, the freedom.

I knew the footsteps were coming before they arrived. I felt this nightmare countless times. I fought it no less than before. I gasped as my body was thrown into an upright position. I winced even though I knew the needle would be plunging into my upper arm. I prayed to wake up from wherever hell I was trapped in.

The pupil-less green eyes haunted me. The red was deep like Unknown's blood.

"Run."

"Leave me alone!" I cried.

"Run."

"I said leave me alone!" I clawed away, anyway I can get away from the pain. But there was nowhere to go. There was no escape for me.

"RUN!"

Many imagines flash before my eyes. The storm where Kakashi found me, the hospital where I struggled to walk, the ambush that capture voiceless me, Sasuke and the team, the fight with James, the fight with Orochimaru, with the Sound Nin, with Mae. To Gaara, Sasuke, Naruto, Kiba, everyone came and went with lightning speed. It made my eyes water, my head spin. Until finally it stopped and landed on images of the desert.

"STOP!" The beautiful desert gone. The distorted voices were replaced with clear ones. Ones of people screaming and fighting. For a second, I was afraid I was in my dreams, but I realized that this was reality. And it was mayhem.

"Did I hurt you?" Sakura's eyes round as saucers.

I didn't understand her question until I realized she must have thought I was yelling at her.

"No… of course, not… thank you for waking me." And I was thankful even if my voice trembled. Thankful to be anywhere but that awful place. Anywhere away from those eyes. With an extended hand, Sakura helped me to my feet. Accompanied her was Naruto and a small dog with a Leaf headband who I didn't recognize.

Throughout the arena, civilians were out cold in their seats, slumping on their neighbors for support. Surrounding the heavy sleepers were shinobi fighting with blades and bloodshed.

"What the fuck happened?" I was in awestruck.

"It was the sand village," Sakura explained.

I didn't understand. "They attacked us?"

Sakura sadly nodded. "Along with the Sound village. We were ambushed."

An ambush which knocked Leaf and other lands' civilians cold while the Sand and Sound attacked. Countless battles were transpiring as the seconds ticked. But why? What was their reasoning? What kind of ruthless person could give such a command which sacrifices hundreds of lives?

My attention was drawn to the Kage stands which were barren, replaced with an enormous black rectangular prism.

"Where's Hokage-sama?" I demanded. Afraid I would hear the worst.

Sakura winced from my forcefulness. "In there," she pointed to the black shape. "It's a barrier."

"In there?" My mouth dropped, not wanting to believe it. "Alone?"

Sakura was hesitant, her mouth hung open but no words were spoken.

Unfortunately for her, I wasn't in a patient mood. "Sakura!" I barked. "Is he in there alone?"

She wasn't telling me something. I was going to ask her again, demand her to tell me. My hand was reaching towards her scared green eyes when a realization struck. I was adding feelings into the brewing pot. My hurt from the words people held from me and my pain from my nightmares or visions or whatever the hell you would call them. That resentment was changing me, finding it difficult to trust people. That was foolish. In the grand scheme of the shit that was happening, my feelings can be dealt with later.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried," I apologized guiltily.

Her frightened expression softened. "Hokage-sama isn't in there alone." Her eyes began to water. "Orochimaru is with him."

"What?" Now I knew why Sakura was holding back. She didn't want to admit it, didn't want to say that horrible name aloud.

She nodded. "He was disguised as the Kazekage."

A cold sweat ran from head to toe as the realization quickly pieced together. The very Kage who Hokage-sama introduced me to earlier today. The slimy bastard who stared me down and claimed how I was intriguing. The fucking monster who I sat next to not long ago as he begged Hokage-sama to give Sasuke time to arrive. All because the Kage didn't want to disappoint the crowd. The bullshit he was threading- he wanted Sasuke for himself.

He didn't touch me, that snake, but I never felt so violated, so wronged and deceived. I was mere inches away from him and I didn't even know it. Maybe if I wasn't so consumed in my own self-pity, I would have realized something was wrong. I could've warned Hokage-sama. I could've warned Sasuke. I could've prevented bloodshed to all these people who were going to die today.

I could've have said a lot of things, but the only words that could escape my lips was the sad realization. "This is a declaration of war."

My nails dug into my palms, the pain grounding me to reality. "I need to go help him."

"Quorra…" Sakura sounded hurt.

"You don't understand. I was up there," I pointed. "When the exams began, I was in those stands. I sat next to him, Sakura. Don't you see? This is all my fault. I should've known. And because of me this is happening. People are dying because of me." I jammed the nail of my thumb into my chest, not caring that it was leaving an indentation.

Neither teammate said a word for several moments. A selfish part of me hoped that they would prove me wrong. Convince me that no one could have known this was to happen. It was human nature, wasn't it? To say things that you hoped were wrong and have people tell you so? But as the silence grew out, I knew the words I spoke were true. This was my fault.

Sometimes I wished I didn't have human emotions. I wished I didn't have to feel this constant pain in my chest, struggle to take in a fresh breath of air. I was about to leave when Naruto finally spoke.

"Listen," his voice was low, shaken- polar opposite of his usual quirky self. "I get it-"

"No," I cut him off. "You don't get it. None of you could get me-"

"Just shut up and listen!" Naruto snapped.

I couldn't hide my look of disbelief. This was very uncharacteristic of him. As much as I wanted to refute, I bit my tongue and waited for him to continue.

Naruto took a big inhale before continuing. "Alright. Maybe I don't understand, but I do know what it feels like if you weren't so goddamn blind, things would have been different. And it sucks."

I knew he was referring back to the hospital where Gaara tried to kill Lee. He thought he should've known by one look into Gaara's crazed eyes that he had to do whatever it took to cancel Gaara's battle with Sasuke.

"And what would you like me to do? Stand by as I watch the Hokage and the village get-?" I couldn't finish the thought let alone the sentence.

Naruto winced. "No, I'm asking you to join us. Help us find our teammate."

"That's right. Kakashi-sensei ordered us to find you, but we would've came either way," Sakura quickly added. "We can't do this without you."

I shouldn't be surprised. Kakashi was always worried about my safety, like I was a fragile butterfly who would break if a gust of wind was too strong. Little did he know the things I've seen, the things I've survived through. Even though I didn't need protection, I wished he was here.

"Where's Sasuke?" Feeling foolish for not asking sooner.

"He went after Gaara," Sakura explained.

After Gaara. Gaara was incredibly strong. The Talker and Doer's murder fresh in my mind, blood fresh on my clothes. The others he's killed or tried to in the short about of time since I've known him was nothing to brag about. He killed without remorse. That lack of empathy was what truly scared me with his battle with Sasuke. Sasuke was strong, but I didn't know what was going to happen. As Shikamaru said, Sasuke could handle himself so I placed my faith in those words, in those actions.

But this battle, this was nothing like I could have ever imagined. Sasuke gained the upper hand by driving his new lightning-esque technique into Gaara's defenses, but what happened next… it still ran chills through me.

The pain was what struck me. Gaara's scream sounded like a wounded baby animal, crying for his mother. Never before have I felt something so real, so raw. I never felt someone else's physical pain. It was as if we were conjoined, connected in some way. What followed after, I don't know what it was. I thought I was hallucinating from the pain, but Sasuke knew. He was eye level with the beast. He knew what he saw.

And yet. He still went after Gaara. Why?

"Sasuke…"

Naruto didn't say it, but he didn't have to. He asking for us to undo the load of screwups we have done these past few days. If we found Sasuke, it was one less thing we were to feel guilty for. One less thing we failed.

Find our teammate.

"We need to find Sasuke," I confirmed, but it didn't feel completely true. I was worried about Sasuke and what he could possibly be up against at this given moment, but my curiosity was eating at me. I wanted to find Sasuke, needed to, but I also wanted to find Gaara. I wanted to piece together what I saw today and confirmed what I saw the night on the roof was not a dream.

I needed to know what Gaara was.

"Hey, where's Kiba and Mae?" Sakura asked.

"You're right," Naruto realized, taken back he didn't notice sooner. "Where are those two? They were just here."

"They were with you?" I couldn't hide my surprise.

"They were." Naruto searched the balcony like they could be playing hide-and-seek. There was no sight of them.

"Did we lose them on our journey here, somehow?" Sakura couldn't comprehend it.

"You didn't lose them. They took off a while back," the dog answered.

The. Dog. Answered.

"Took off? What do you mean, Pakkun?" Sakura asked.

"You all were too busy barking-" Pakkun smiled, no one found it as hilarious. "Get it? Barking? Arff arff?- nevermind." The canine waved his joke off. "You were all too busy arguing to realize they left."

"Well, if you would have just believed me when I said I knew how to get here, there wouldn't've been anything to argue about!" Naruto yelled.

Pakkun didn't respond, but his smug look drove Naruto insane.

Kiba and Mae were with them? Unwanted memories returned. Kiba's hurt and anger when I defended Gaara. It was pain I never wanted to cause, especially to someone I still cared about. And Mae, the pain she caused me...

"Would you two cut it out already?" Sakura threatened. "Or I'm going to knock you two out!" She shook an angry fist, like a mother who breaks up her two bickering children.

I knew a lot has happened between us three. Terrible, deep, nasty shit that I would never forget. I knew I was the blame for some, but they were guilty as well. Did they hate me so much, so deep in their core that they couldn't put their thoughts aside to work together to find Sasuke? I was more despicable than I thought.

"Cut it the fuck out," I demanded, they froze mid-action, mouths hung mid-syllable.

"Right, sorry," Naruto mumbled, crossing his arms with a pout.

Sakura sighed, "Let's just go already."

The three were about to take off, before I stopped them.

"We can't leave without Shikamaru," I explained, who was blissfully unconscious. I didn't want him to worry about where I could have gone if he woke. Plus, despite being a bum, he's resourceful, something that could help us find Sasuke.

Without another word, we walked over to sleeping Lazy Shinobi and Sakura hovered over his face about to perform the same release technique that woke me.

"You gotta be kidding me." Sakura growled.

"What is it, Sakura?" Naruto asked concerned.

Naruto and I hung in the air of tension as Pakkun seemed to catch what was going on. He trotted over to Shikamaru's ankle.

With a painful crunch, Shikamaru shot up. "Ow, shit my ankle!"

He couldn't have been. My mouth hung with disbelief.

"He knew how to repel the jutsu." Sakura shook her fist again, ready to knock someone unconscious for real this time. "He was pretending to be asleep this whole time!"

Shikamaru ripped the Pakkun's jaw from his ankle. "I didn't want to get involved."

"Let's move already, we're wasting time," Pakkun commanded, ignoring Shikamaru.

"Pakkun's right, let's find Sasuke," I smiled because I knew the only way to move someone lazy was to move them.

"You're not questioning why I can talk?" Pakkun cocked his cute little head.

The truth was, I was questioning it. I was questioning it hardcore. I was questioning to the point where I could have written an award-winning novel explaining how this talking dog was tripping with my fucking mind.

"At this point, so much shit has shocked me today, I think a talking ninja dog falls short of the shock factor." I've been questioning everything so why not add a talking dog to the mix?

Pakkun smirked.

"Come on, you lazy son-of-a-gun," with a smile, I grabbed hold of Shikamaru, with I'll admit, a little too much force. "Time to go."

"Ow, shit my ear. Let go of my ear!"