Chapter Six: Only Human

Cid gave Vincent some clothes then left him alone to take a shower. He walked back out of his room and down to the cargo area where the others had gathered. Tifa walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm glad we found him." She whispered softly in his ear before pulling away. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "How is he?"

"Not sure really." He muttered. "Didn' speak a goddamn word, but I spect he's just tired." Cid sighed. "Thanks fer comin' ta help find 'im."

"What'd he mean 'bout Chaos?" Barret rumbled.

"Chaos is gone." Cid replied, glaring at the huge man. He'd heard what the brute had been saying about Vincent and he was pretty sure the gunman had heard as well.

"How?"

"I dunno. Vince didn' talk much 'bout it." Cid growled. "An' don' ya go askin' 'bout it either. Man's been through fuckin' hell and he don' need no one stirrin' it up."

"How can ya all protect that monster?" Barret snapped. Cid wasn't aware that he had moved until his fist crashed into the bigger man's face.

"DON' FUCKIN' CALL HIM THAT YA BASTARD! He roared, breathing heavily. Barret stared up at him in shock. He'd been knocked to the floor by Cid's blow. The pilot was about to hit him again, but a gentle hand wrapped around his wrist. He looked back in surprise to find Vincent there, hair damp from his shower. He wore the clothes Cid had given him, which were entirely too large. It still shocked the blonde to see how skinny he was. The sweater hung off one of his shoulders and went down almost to his knees while the sleeves covered his hands. The soft flannel pants dragged on the floor. He looked slightly ridiculous, but also cute, which was not a word normally associated with the raven haired man.

"Let him think what he wishes." Vincent's deep voice sounded rough and it looked as though talking was painful. Cid noticed dark bruising around the other man's throat. "I have thought it myself more than once after all."

"B-but it ain't right." Cid stammered. "Yer not a monster."

"High..." Vincent's eyes closed for a moment then opened and met his gaze. "Cid, even I do not know what I am, whether that is human or not remains to be seen..." He trailed off and his eyes seemed to grow distant. "I do not think that is a good idea." He murmured under his breath.

"What ain't a good idea?" Cid asked in confusion. Vincent blinked as though startled by the question.

"I must be more tired than I thought...I was speaking to Galian."

"That one of yer demons?" Barret sneered, getting to his feet. Vincent cocked his head and blinked.

"Yes...he wishes me to tell you that your hatred of us is shared...not by me, by him." Yuffie snickered as Barret's face reddened. "I do not hate you Barret and I do not care that you hate me, but if peace is to be kept among friends you may want to keep your derogatory remarks about me to yourself." Vincent's voice was quiet and polite as always, but Cid could see a dull anger burning in his crimson eyes.

"What's that now, Vamp?" Barret growled.

"Cut it out Barret." Cloud snapped. The swordsman pushed past the huge man and walked up to Vincent. "I owe you an apology Vincent. I've been an ass. I didn't understand what you were going through and..." He trailed off, biting his lip. "I haven't been a good friend. For that I am sorry." Cid saw Vincent's face soften.

"Your apology is accepted Cloud, though I do not feel as if I needed one." The gunman replied bowing his head towards the younger man. "If I recall correctly it was I who frightened you. I apologize for-"

"Don't," Cloud said quickly. "I know it wasn't your fault and if I'd been thinking clearly I would have realized that." Vincent looked up at him in surprise. "Tifa and I had a long talk and it put things in perspective for me." The swordsman continued. "I remember what I went through at Hojo's hands and for you...it was a lot worse. So this whole thing with the demons is his fault. It isn't yours and...I don't think you're a monster." He took a deep breath. "I won't lie and say that I never have, because I did think that for a long time, but now..." He trailed off, looking at Tifa, who smiled encouragingly. "I think you're as human as me or any of the others." Cid saw a single tear slide down one of Vincent's pale cheeks.

"Thank you." The gunman whispered. Cid could feel his hand trembling slightly where it still held his wrist. "It means a lot to hear you say such things." Cloud smiled up at the taller man, relief evident in his eyes. Tifa came forward then and gingerly wrapped her arms around Vincent's small waist.

"You are human Vincent." Cid heard her quietly murmur before pulling away and wiping at tears of her own. "Don't let anyone tell you different." Vincent nodded solemnly then stepped quickly to the side as Yuffie launched herself at him.

"Can't I have a hug too Vinnie?!" She cried, holding out her arms.

"If you quit calling me by that ridiculous name then...yes." The gunman replied curtly.

"Vin?"

"No."

"Vince?"

"...I suppose." Vincent sighed and allowed her to hug him.

"I was really worried about you." She said, her words muffled by his sweater. "I thought you'd died when..." She trailed off and Cid finally noticed that she was crying. Vincent let go of his wrist finally and placed his arms hesitantly around the girl's shoulders. "Bet you didn't know I cared, huh." Vincent slowly shook his head, seemingly at a loss for words. "Well I do you big oaf." The ninja sighed then let go of him and stepped back, scrubbing at her face. "Don't disappear like that again, okay?"

"I won't."

"Promise?" She held up her hand, pinky extended. Cid watched with a smile on his face as Vincent hesitated then reached out and hooked his own pinky around hers.

"I promise." He said quietly. Yuffie grinned brightly up at him before letting go and walking over to Barret.

"You're a real prick, ya know that?" She snapped before stomping off the ship. Tifa smiled at Vincent before reaching out to squeeze his hand.

"If you ever want to talk, Cloud and I are both here for you." She told him quietly before following after Yuffie. Cloud grinned.

"Yeah, what she said." He grabbed Barret's arm and dragged him off after the two women leaving Cid and Vincent standing alone in the cargo bay. The pilot looked up at the man he loved and was surprised to see a small smile on the man's lips. It looked so foreign on his normally expressionless face that Cid thought he was just hallucinating at first, but when Vincent looked over at him he saw the smile grow. It was so beautiful that Cid was rendered uncharacteristically speechless.

"Damn yer beautiful." He breathed, finally finding his voice. To his complete shock Vincent laughed. Cid's jaw dropped and all he could do was stare.

"I am far from beautiful, but thank you." The gunman smiled down at him, his eyes sparkling with amusement. Cid could only gape at him. Vincent had laughed. Was the world ending? Suddenly Vincent's smile faded and he began to sway on his feet. The pilot's trance broke and he caught the older man before he could collapse onto the cold metal floor.

"I think its 'bout time you get yerself into a goddamn bed." Cid muttered gruffly as he scooped the ex-Turk up into his arms.

"Past time I would say." Vincent murmured sleepily. Outside they could hear a plane taking off, heralding their friend's departure. As Cid walked towards his quarters he thought about Barret and all the things he'd said then about Vincent's reaction. Not once had the man lost control of his demons even though at least one of them had been speaking to him during the entire conversation. Cid smiled down at Vincent, who'd fallen asleep in his arms. It seemed as though the man was getting his control over the demons back. As he laid Vincent down in his large bed and covered him with the blankets he wondered what this new turn of events meant for their relationship.

The nightmares had returned. Vincent woke with a strangled cry, sitting straight up in bed and grabbing at his throat. He could still feel the teeth of Hellmasker's saw from his dream, but as the images faded the pain did not. It was then that he remembered how he'd damaged his throat. A wave of nausea rolled through him making him groan and collapse back on the bed. He curled up and clutched at his stomach as the sick feeling turned to pain. God how he hated this. It happened every time Death Gigas broke free.

'We have an idea, Host.' Galian chuckled in his mind. 'It might be that if you actually ate real food every once in a while the mindless ones would not be so hungry.'

"What do you mean?"

'We know that your survival is not dependent on sustenance, my dear Host. Ours is the same, yet in the demonic world we ate to give us strength. We thought that perhaps it could be the same for you.'

"..."

'Try it, Host, what could it hurt?'

"Nothing, I suppose." Vincent sighed. He had a slight aversion to eating after all he'd been through. "Do I have to eat meat?" He asked sullenly as he sat up, the pain had left him. Galian roared with laughter.

'Eat what you wish.' The beast chuckled before retreating. Vincent frowned then climbed out of bed and walked over to the window. He wondered where Cid had gone as he crawled up onto the sill and sat there staring out into the night. These were obviously his quarters. They were much larger and more high end than the room Vincent had stayed in before, so where was the Captain? He sighed, turning his attention to the sky. The stars were shining brightly within the cloudless expanse. They were all that had stayed the same during his long sleep and looking up at them gave him comfort. Everything else on Gaia had changed from the town to the people to the technology. It was rather disconcerting and he missed how simple life used to be...well what he could remember of it anyway. His memories were like black and white photographs of someone else's life and he barely remembered anything from his earlier years. He'd been born in Wutai, that much he knew because he had memories of the village before Sephiroth had destroyed most of it...that and his mother. He couldn't remember her face very well, but he knew that she was Wuitaian. His father was a great big blank in his memory courtesy of Chaos. The bastard hadn't wanted to return to the Planet so in retaliation for sending him into the Lifestream Chaos had torn from Vincent everything he had learned about his father and most of his childhood memories. The ones that could be considered even remotely happy. All Vincent had left were scraps, but oddly enough it didn't pain him.

It had at first, but now as he sat there staring up at the sky he realized that hanging on to the past was useless. There was no way to get it back or go back and change things, but...he could learn from it. Learn from his mistakes. It was hard to let go of, though. He'd been trying for the past year, but he'd been mostly...distracted and hadn't focused on it. Lucrecia was the only part of his past that he had managed to release. Her memory no longer pained him or made him angry...it just was. She had made her choices and he had made his, nothing would change and now he knew that he had not failed her...it was she who had failed him. He could never hate her though. It had been she who had given him Chaos and the Protomateria, and even though he would rather have died at that moment in time, he was grateful. Without her he never would have met Cid, the first person to look past what he had become to see the man that he was.

Thinking now about Cid brought his mind to the kisses they had shared a few days ago and the words the pilot had spoken. I love you. Yer only human. Two phrases, six words and they meant more to Vincent than anything. He'd never believed that anyone would care about him let alone love him again in this life and for that same person to think him human...Vincent sighed, wrapping his arms around his knees. Cid had done more for him in the span of a week than anyone had in his life. His own feelings for the blonde pilot were so muddled and confused that he didn't even know where to start so as to unravel them. He knew he liked Cid and was more comfortable around him than anyone else he knew, but he was confused. He'd always thought Cid and Shera were an item. The truth had thrown him for a loop and trying to deal with that on top of controlling his demons was a little overwhelming.

He supposed he needed to take one thing at a time. For him regaining strict control over Hellmasker and Death Gigas was a priority. He trusted Galian since the great wolf had never once disobeyed him...not that he really gave the demon commands anyway, but that wasn't the point. He had respect for Galian and for some reason it was mutual, that was all that mattered. Once he got his strength back he could deal with what he felt for Cid. He told himself that he could not tell the pilot the three words it was obviously waiting for until he knew for sure that that was what he felt. Vincent remembered what love felt like and was mature enough to know that it was different for everyone. He would never feel the same for Cid the way he had for Lucrecia. They were different people and had done different things for him. The fact that their genders were different would never be an issue. Vincent had never loved a man, but he had also never discounted the prospect of it happening. Who a person fell in love with was who they fell in love with regardless of age, sex, or creed. Sometimes it just happened.

So he knew that he was not averse to the idea of loving Cid. There were three things holding him back. The first was obviously his demons. Literal ones and they needed to be dealt with. Galian may have given him a way to do so...as long as he didn't have to eat raw meat. A shudder past through him at the thought. The second thing holding him back was his self-hatred. He hated the way he looked. It was embarrassing to admit that, even to himself, but he was disgustingly thin, covered in horrible scars, and had a cybernetic hand. The gunman was ashamed of his appearance and it wasn't something that was going to be easy to get past.

The third thing holding him back was fear. Vincent was afraid of everything that could go wrong if he entered into a relationship with Cid. What he most feared was the destruction of their friendship. The pilot had been his first human friend. The first person to take the time to try and get to know him, which was difficult to the extreme because Vincent didn't like opening up about himself. What if Cid decided that he didn't want to be around him anymore because he was so closed off and...

Vincent closed his eyes against all the 'what ifs' now running through his mind. He was doing it again. Defeating himself before hope could blossom. He wished Cid would come in so that he wouldn't have to be alone anymore. The ex-Turk was too scared to venture out into the ship without his cape. He missed his own clothing desperately. He could hide within them and act like he was fine. Without them he felt exposed and uncomfortable. He remembered the stares the others had given him when he'd stepped out of hiding back in the forest. They had never seen him like that for a reason and their looks of shock cemented in his mind what he already knew. He was disgusting.

A/N: Oh the angst, I can't seem to get away from it. Hopefully I can write some happier chapters soon. I really hope that I am portraying the characters accurately. I realize that I don't make Cid swear near enough. In all the stories I've read about him he's like $#% this and $#^ that lol. I've been struggling just to write his damn accent. Its rather difficult for me since I talk more like Vincent, very formal and a lot of big words(Which both my husband and brother hate hahaha)

Sorry to all the Barret fans, I kind of made him a huge asshole in the past couple chapters. I never really liked him in any of the games so it was easy for me lol. Eventually he'll come around to the fact that Vincent isn't the monster he believes him to be...hopefully haha. I'm not entirely sure where this story is going and its getting long lol. I hope it isn't too boring. I would hate to bore people. I think in Chapter Seven I'm going to add a bit more fun...maybe I will torture Vincent with some interesting foods lol.