KRETASH EYES

They are such a striking feature that Sanjay recognized them in the grainy holo of his cousin's tragic murder. Shara knows those eyes as well, having gazed into them, having felt the bite of their scorn, and she is in for a shock when she comes across someone else who has those eyes. ~ DK

…

She was awoken by the insistent knocking on her door.

"Ugh." Shara pulled a pillow over her head to block out the sound. "Five more minutes."

But the knocking started up again and now it was joined by Portia's barking to be let out. She knew better than to ignore that. Shara didn't want to spend the morning cleaning up puppy mess.

"Alright. I'm coming." She rolled out of bed with a yawn as the knocking continued.

"Shara!" Jamos's voice called from the other side. "Get up!"

The excitement in his tone lent and extra spring to her steps and she opened the door to his grinning face. "Morning, beautiful. Guess what?"

"What?" She laughed.

"How would you feel about a little fishing trip?"

"I thought it would be weeks yet before it was warm enough?" She shook her head. It had to be too good to be true. She had resigned herself to sewing lessons with Lana, and more greenhouse research and planning, with maybe a dinner out at the pub to break up the monotony. Not that she didn't love her new life with the Blackwells at the Hold, but if there was a chance to have the deck of the Polaris under her feet again and work with the brylks…

"We've had an early thaw!" He laid his hands on her shoulders. "Marlon and Lana are already getting packed up." He didn't look exactly pleased with this last piece of information. Shara was sure he would have rather the voyage could have been made sans-chaperones. The two of them had exhibited remarkably good behavior since the new year, but at least they got to go. "And I've commed the crew."

"So I'm the last to find out about it." She mock complained.

"Hey, I let you sleep in." He smirked.

She stood up on her toes. "That was very sweet." And then their other little chaperone jumped up at her ankles, barking excitedly. "And we should probably let her out before we have a mess to clean up."

"I'll take care of her. You pack." Jamos tapped Shara's nose with one finger before he bent to pick up the pup. Then as he carried Portia down the hall he called back over his shoulder. "I've also already asked Ness to ask Maris if she would cogsit while we're gone."

"Did you think of everything?" She asked with a laugh.

He turned to her with his signature grin. "Aye. Nothing's gonna stop us. Now go pack!"

…

Jamos came to stand beside her at the ship's rail. Shara was wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her coat which was already crystallized with frozen tears.

"We really can't keep meeting like this." He whispered.

She knew he was referring to her first voyage aboard the Polaris when he'd come across her in this same spot crying because she'd found out she wasn't pregnant.

"You know this is only a short detour." He assured her. "As soon as we're done at Harkon Hall, we're still going fishing."

"I know." She took a deep shaky breath.

"And the Harkons are great! We've known them forever! They gave us Portia! They've been wanting to meet you!"

"It's not that." Shara shook her head. "I'm thrilled to get to meet them and see the new baby."

The message had come in on the ship's comm almost as soon as they got out of the harbor. Adria Harkon had just given birth to her baby girl. Normally they wouldn't have been able to go and visit the new addition for months, especially this time of year. But since they were already on the water, with the whole family, and Harkon Hall was only a little out of the way of their original heading, it only made sense to stop by and offer their congratulations in person.

"Then, what's wrong?" Jamos wrapped an arm around her shoulders a little awkwardly. She knew he was only trying to comfort her but they were still both a little unsure about what crossed the line into public showing of affection.

She leaned against him, telling herself it was for warmth in the frigid wind. "I was just remembering what today is. It's… it would have been…" she looked up at him. "Mel's nineteenth lifeday." She took a deep breath and continued. "A year ago we were all together at the Kiras' and we were happy. At least, I thought we were."

Jamos nodded and squeezed her a little tighter. "You're wondering if you might still be happy there if she hadn't flown away…" and crashed, he guessed.

"Yes and no." Shara mused. "I think even then I knew that it couldn't last, but how much longer might I have endured that… treatment, trying to make it work?"

"Shar, I know she was your friend and you miss her but thankfully you don't have to ask that question." He turned her to face himself. "You did get away. You're here now and happy, aye?"

"Aye." She smiled, but the sadness wasn't completely gone from her eyes.

"And…" Jamos grinned at her trying to cheer her up even more. "Now you get to celebrate a brand new baby who shares your friend's birthday."

"That's true." She brightened, but suddenly feeling awkward about his proximity and sensing that someone was likely to come along and break them apart, Shara turned once again to look out over the sea. "Do you think they'll let me hold her?"

"I'm sure they will." He nodded confidently. "I told them how good you are with Portia and Dalla."

"Oh did you now?"

"Well, you know, they were just checking up to make sure the norcog was in good hands."

Shara's good humor was returning. "And you assured them that she is?"

"Aye, I did." Jamos smiled that cocky smile.

She couldn't let her gaze linger too long on his lips. "It helps that I have a very capable co-pet parent."

Jamos took her hand in his and squeezed it. "I think our furbaby is very lucky to have us both."

"Do you think she'll miss us?" Shara asked with a playful frown.

"Now, Shara." Jamos answered mock seriously. "Let's not spend our first chance out in months, worrying about the baby."

…

As they neared the harbor of Harkon Hall, Lana stood at the rail with Shara and pointed out the warehouses and shipyards. "The Harkons are the best shipwrights in the north. Most of the ships on the sea were built right here."

"The Polaris as well?" Shara asked.

"Mmhm." Lana bounced Dalla in her arms. "Of course Uncle Jamos has already shown you all this, hasn't he?"

Dalla was too young to remember her first trip to Harkon Hall but she grinned and repeated, "Ja Ja!"

Shara's eyes wandered to the top deck where the captain was busy giving the orders to his crew to bring them safely in.

"Look how much they've grown!" Lana marveled, bringing Shara's attention back to the dock.

The first thing she noticed was the biggest cognine she had ever seen in her life. Seated, its head came almost to the shoulder of the man standing next to it. She recognized him as Lord Glover Harkon from the holocomm last summer. Beside him we're two young red haired children. It must have been the twins Lana was referring to.

The boy had one hand entwined in the cog's fur and the other thumb in his mouth. His father noticed and stopped waving at the incoming ship for a moment to tap his son's arm and remind him to dislodge the thumb. He obliged sullenly.

That must be a hard habit to break. Shara knew better than to vow that she would never let a child of hers suck their thumb at that age. Both because there was no guarantee that she would ever have a child of her own but also because, if by some chance she did, a statement like that was likely to come back to haunt her.

The little girl was jumping up and down, her red braids bouncing on her shoulders. She was yelling something at them that Shara couldn't make out in the wind, but Shara remembered hearing her speak when she had interrupted the comm with Jamos. What was it she had said? "Is that her, Mr. Jamos. She's real pretty!"

Shara smiled at the memory. What had Jamos told the Harkons about her?

But watching the little girl made her nervous as well. She was bouncing so close to the edge of the dock. Her father didn't seem worried about it. But then Shara and Bremon used to race each other around the tree trunk like legs of the fambaas when they were that age and there was always someone admonishing that they would be crushed if they weren't careful.

Maybe that's what Shara thought was familiar about the twins as they drew closer. They just reminded her of what it was like growing up with her brother. But there was something else she couldn't quite put her finger on, something in their faces. She had caught a glimpse of the girl in the holo and of course her twin resembled her…

Just then the child lost her footing and would have plunged into the icy water if it hadn't been for the quick response of the norcog who caught the back of her coat gently between its teeth like a mother with a pup, and pulled her back away from the edge.

Shara must have let out a shriek of alarm. A hand descended reassuringly on her shoulder.

"It's alright," said Jamos. "Old Grey wouldn't let anything happen to her. Norcogs are great with kids."

"Oh," she answered as he smiled down at her. Is that why he'd gotten Portia for her? Did he hope that their little ones might have a faithful protector one day? She couldn't think about that. She looked away.

"Won't be long now. Just coming along side." He told her.

"I see."

Soon enough both the anchor and gang plank were down and the Blackwells descended to be welcomed by their lifelong friends. Shara held back, awkwardly.

That is until she was enveloped in a bear hug by the Lord of the Hall. "So glad we finally get to meet the new beast master in the flesh." Glover raised his eyebrows in approval at Jamos but he only said, "And this little slip of a thing controls brylks like she was born to it?"

Shara held her own before the captain could answer. "Actually I was born to trick riding dalgos. As it turns out the two require a similar skill set." Then she smiled. "It's good to meet you, Lord Harkon. Thank you so much for having me."

"It's Glover." He winked. "Now come and meet the twins. They've done nothing but talk about you since they found out you were coming."

But when he turned to the two little redheads they were as silent as the salt gods' halls. They stared at her in amazement.

"Hello." Shara attempted cheerfully with little response. And then she tried a different tact. "I do believe this is the biggest cognine I've ever seen in my life."

"He's Old Grey." The boy ventured, his left hand curling in and out of a fist as if he were trying to remember his father's instructions.

"Would it be alright if I pet him?"

They both nodded and the girl said, "He's real nice. He's Portia's grandsire!"

"Is he?" Shara reached out and scratched the big beast behind the ear. "Well, you'll be happy to know, Mr. Grey, that your grandpup is doing very well. She loves her home at the Hold and I love her very much."

"Is she?" The little boy asked. "Is she really happy there?"

"Mmhm." Shara assured him. "She likes to play and eat and she's growing like crazy." She rolled her eyes and the little girl giggled. "Do you think she'll get as big as Old Grey?"

"Not quite that big." The little boy grinned. Distractedly his hand rose toward his mouth again but before he could defy his father's wishes, Shara caught the hand in her own.

She took hold of the little girl's hand in her other. "What are your names?"

"I'm Elinor and he's Ephraim," she answered before her brother had the chance.

Ephraim scowled at her.

Shara handily defused the argument before it began. "Could the both of you show me the way inside? I'm freezing!"

"Aye!" They answered together, giggling.

"Beast master in deed," Glover Harkon nodded, impressed. "You'd better watch out Jamos. I might steal her away from you to help keep these two monsters in line."

Before Jamos could answer Shara called back over her shoulder, "She might take you up on that during the off season if the pay is competitive."

Jamos raised his hands submissively. "She's the boss."

Marlon laughed and gave his brother a playful punch in the arm. "Quick study, this one."

"Aye, he'll do." Lana grinned as well.

"So did the rest of the litter find good homes?" Shara asked the Harkons as they continued towards the Hall. She was watching the way Old Grey was herding them all forward.

"Aye." Ephraim said sadly.

His father mussed the boy's red curls fondly. "Last one went just yesterday. Bought and paid for by Hugo Bralykburn, if you can believe it."

"That old pirate? Pay?" Jamos's reaction was immediate and harsh. "You sure he didn't just sneak into your kennel and swipe the last one?"

"Who is this?" Shara asked, her curiosity aroused.

"The Bralykburn clan have been known to go pirate in a slow season." Lana explained.

"Thankfully they haven't resorted to that for years." Marlon, as Lord of the north, would be the one who would have to set them straight if they did.

"But if they haven't gone pirate in so long then…" Shara began to ask.

"That…" Jamos interrupted her and then, remembering that there were children present, censored himself. "Challenged me to a game of sabaac. Tricked me into putting up the Polaris." He admitted sullenly.

"You bet the Polaris in a game of cards?" She asked amazed.

There were smiles on the other faces but they let Jamos tell it. "I was twelve. It was after my first catch. The crew brought me into the pub at one of the Flint harbors to celebrate. This shady character offers to buy me a drink and teach me how to play. We played a few hands. Don't remember much after that. You'd have to ask Ness for the full story."

Even if he knew, Shara could tell he was too embarrassed to finish. "Sounds like he taught you a hard lesson." She said with a bit of a smile.

"Aye, don't trust a Bralykburn whenever credits or personal property are concerned." And as if that settled the matter he returned the topic to norcogs. "So when did Hugo become an animal lover?"

They had reached the Hall and continued the conversation while they removed coats and wraps in the entryway.

"Quite a family man now, Hugo." Glover told them while he helped the twins with their coats. "Past few seasons have been good for them and he's just promoted his son to Midshipman. Didn't want his little girl to feel left out. The cog was for her."

Elinor tugged on Shara's hand. "Talia's the same age as me."

"And me." Ephraim added.

"That's sweet." Shara thought it sounded like something her own father would have done.

"Hypocrite." Jamos mumbled. "He always called Marlon and me spoiled little lordlings." He brightened right away when he felt a tug on his pants leg and looked down to see Dalla pulling herself up to stand and grinning at him.

"JaJa!"

Lana nudged Shara and whispered loudly, "Of course he would never spoil his niece."

"I should have gotten her a cog while you still had a few left." Jamos told Glover as he lifted Dalla into his arms, not denying the jibe.

"Now hang on." Lana put an end to that idea. "Are you planning on taking responsibility for another cog at the Hold, because I'm not cleaning up after it while chasing a crawler, soon to be toddler around the place! Wait till Dalla's out of diapers at least and then we'll talk about a pet."

Marlon laughed and pulled his wife to himself in hug. "And what if by the time she's out of diapers there's another little one at the Hold?" He raised an eyebrow at his brother as if suggesting that it might be a niece or nephew rather than a sibling for Dalla.

Jamos grinned and Shara blushed.

"Oh, you just reminded me," said Glover. "Adria and I have a salt and light gift for Dalla. It's a holo the twins loved, about a purple mythosaur."

Shara groaned but Jamos grinned, "I told you, kids love it!"

…

Once again, Shara held back when they all gathered in the warm sitting room and Glover brought the baby out of the nursery to meet them all.

"Addy will be out soon. Said she wanted to get herself presentable for guests." He told them, rolling his eyes. "I told her she looked beautiful already, but here's the real star of the show."

"Oh look at the baby, Dalla!" Lana crooned, holding her daughter up to see. And then had to pull her hand back. "No no. We mustn't touch. She's not one of your dollies."

"Salt gods, Glove. She is a beauty!" Marlon whistled the compliment. "Looks like we're both going to have to brush up on our blaster skills."

"Just like her momma." Glover grinned.

"Ms. Shara," Elinor tugged on her skirt for attention and Shara welcomed the distraction.

"Yes, Ellie."

"When are you and Mr. Jamos gonna have a baby?"

Shara went scarlet but she attempted to keep her voice steady to answer the child. "Well, you see. Mr. Jamos and I aren't married. We can't…"

"Babies don't come from a wedding." Ephraim blurted out. "We've seen the cogs. They get pups when they…"

"Thank you, Ephraim." Jamos stepped in to stop the boy before he could go any further with his explanation. "Ms. Shara bred dalgos, I'm sure she knows how it works." He winked at her. "Besides it's her turn to hold your sister."

Jamos who had been taking his own turn holding the infant, gently placed her in Shara's arms.

Her eyes remained on him for a moment before she turned her gaze downward and got her first sight of Miranda.

And then she froze. It was as if she was seeing a tiny Melaana. Mel's baby should have looked like this. Gods! This was how she had dreamed that her own babies with Sanjay would look. She had always hoped that their little ones would have his eyes.

And then it dawned on her why Elinor and Ephraim looked so familiar to her. They reminded her of the family pictures at the Rash Estate, all those holos of Sanjay and Melaana growing up. They all had those same beautiful eyes.

"I'm s-sorry I can't." Shara choked back a sob and quickly handed the child back to Jamos. She had to get out. She couldn't stay in this place with these children who reminded her so painfully of her broken dreams.

She left the room at a run, thinking only to get outside in the cold air. She nearly ran headlong into a woman whose looks were even more disconcerting.

The woman was almost as surprised as Shara. And then a look of understanding came over her lovely features.

"You must be Shara." The voice was soft and kind.

Shara couldn't look her in the face. She was used to keeping her own eyes downcast in the presence of this woman's doppelganger. "I- I'm sorry. I…"

"It is Shara, isn't it? That is what Lana said, I believe. I'm Adria Harkon, and it is I who should be sorry." She took both of Shara's hands in hers in an attempt to put her at ease. "Everything happened so fast, Miranda's birth and then you all were already aboard the ship."

Shara glanced up at the other woman's face and tried to speak but no words would come.

"Lana told me of your acquaintance with my sister." For the first time Adria's voice took on a harsher tone. "We meant to warn you of the… unfortunate family resemblance."

"Unfortunate?" Shara choked out the word. How could she think that the exotic eyes and delicate bone structure she shared with her sister were unfortunate? Adria was gorgeous, even a day after delivering her third child. And she had none of the haughty contempt in her expression that Shara had come to dread from similar eyes.

In fact, the more Shara looked the more she saw the sanguine differences. Concern radiated from Adria and not just the selfish regard for her own assets that Sanda had fretted about constantly. This younger Kretash sister cared deeply for people.

"You can find it in your heart to forgive me?" Adria asked, arms open to accept her new friend unconditionally.

"Oh yes, of course." Shara allowed herself to be drawn into a hug.

…

By the time Adria and Shara made their way into the sitting room, the others were back on the subject of Bralykburns.

Jamos ranted, "Tell me you're not considering marrying off sweet little Elinor to a Bralykburn!"

Glover shrugged. "I don't know. Dominic seems to be a good lad. He's polite to his mother and positively dotes after his little sister. I'm not saying I'm going to send her off to Bralyk Keep tomorrow but I'm not completely opposed to the match when the time comes."

"Even if you wait to make arrangements," Lana argued. "The boy is a bit older than Elinor?"

Adria entered the conversation with her sensible grace. "Dominic just turned ten. So there is a bit of an age gap but it's not substantial."

"It's about the same age difference between Ephraim and Dalla." Glover reminded them with a laugh.

Marlon groaned, "Glove, don't even start. You know how Lana and I feel about betrothals."

Jamos was not appeased. "Age is completely beside the point! He's a Bralykburn! Has Hugo got another boy as well? Have you already got Miranda bargained away to him?"

Adria's beautiful eyes shone mischievously. "No, Jamos. We were counting on you to provide us with a match for Miranda."

Both Shara and Jamos started to protest but then a chime made them all jump. Marlon pulled his comm unit out of his pocket. He frowned at the ID and then looked around at them all to excuse himself. "I'll just take this in the hall."

"I wonder what that was about," Glover mused.

Adria crossed to Lana who was taking a turn with the newborn and held out her hands with a beaming smile. "I'll have my daughter back now if you don't mind."

Lana obliged a little reluctantly. "She really is a jewel, Addy."

Shara almost choked up again at the sight of the mother and child, so happy. Would she ever experience that herself?

A whoop from the hallway drew everyone's attention and Marlon ran back into the room. To her complete surprise, he made a beeline straight for Shara. His eyes twinkled at her and her threw a look over at Jamos with a wink before he announced, "The comm was from Iziz. The documents have been signed. You're a free woman, Shara!"

…

Just for a little clarification: Shara uses the term 'lifeday' while Jamos uses the term 'birthday'. This was intentional. The Blackwells live in the North which is almost entirely populated with humans while Shara was brought up by merchants in the much more diverse society of Iziz. She would never wish to offend a potential customer who might have been hatched rather than born.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! And just a reminder the lifeday celebration that Shara mentions can be found in chapter 45 of the story the Ashla Awareness.