Killian's head felt clouded from Emma's kiss. She had felt so right against him and all he wanted to do was keep kissing her. He wanted to push all thought or reason from his head and wrap his arms around her but he couldn't. Instead, he felt embarrassed sitting beside her. He wanted to reach for her now but she was leaning away from him, her eyes on the floor and her teeth nervously chewing on her lip. Killian breathed out, calming himself before opening his mouth. "Come on Swan. You're brother's just here to take you home," He said to her, reaching out to give her a hand but she ignored him.

"Are you okay love?" Killian asked her quietly but he already knew the answer.

"I didn't mean to kiss you. I forgot my glasses at home. I was… I was a little intoxicated and…" Emma blurted out.

"A little intoxicated?" Killian laughed, instinctively moving out of the way of Emma's hand as she moved to hit him.

"Yes! I mean maybe a bit more then a little but still," Emma laughed.

"It's fine Emma," He said shaking his head.

"No its.."

"Sh," Killian added, placing a finger to her lips and trying not to smirk at her. She rolled her eyes, facing him. She was beautiful, even in her inebriated state, leaning against the wall of a dimly lit bar. Killian looked down and met her bright green eyes looking back at him. She was more then just a beautiful girl. He could see something in her eyes, a glint of something he had seen before. He could look at her forever, but not here, hiding out in a hallway while her brother was out there probably causing a scene. Killian waved his hand a little to remind her that he was still offering it to her and peaked out from the hallway to see if anyone had found them, "Come on, love. We'd better go."

"He's going to yell at me," Emma said quietly.

"Emma," Killian looked back at her, "just take my hand. I'll take care of you."

"You don't need to do that."

"I want to," Killian said simply but Emma just stared at him, looking confused. She looked worn out, like she was already sick of fighting with David before they had even started and it made Killian's heart twist in a desperate need to take care of her.

"Why am I not allowed to take care of you?" Killian asked.

"Because… I… I can't think right now but I have reasons," Emma mumbled, holding the palm of her hand against her forehead.

"Emma," Killian whispered, pulling her hand away from her face, "Trust me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to help you."

"Why?"

"Because I care about you!," Killian said back at her, running his hands over his forehead in exasperation.

"Oh…," Emma said, still leaning quietly away from him and Killian could feel the knots in his stomach tightening at every inch she moved away from him. But then, finally, Emma turned and reached out to grasp Killian's hand, giving him little explanation for why but with a small nod she whispered, "let's just get this over with."

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"Go Killian," Emma said roughly, nudging him to start walking. He sighed again, not bothering to fight her. She always seemed to get weird when he got sentimental and he wasn't about to push her anymore tonight.

Emma kept her hand in his as they walked around the corner but the bar was still bustling with laughter and chatter, and for a moment Killian wondered if they would even be able to find David in the dim lighting.

"SHE'S ONLY 18!" Killian heard towards his left. Guess not.

"KILLIAN! HEY KILLIAN!" David's voice reached Killian's ears and he turned to see Dave pushing through the crowd of people, waving over his friend. Killian felt Emma's hand slip out of his but he only had time to give her a quick glance before David had pushed his way towards them.

"Hey mate," Killian said, more smoothly then he had expected.

"Where's Emma?"

"Um.."

"I'm right here," Emma said loudly, waving to her brother. She looked sober, in control, like she had no fear towards anything her brother would say to her, but she was putting a little too much weight against Killian's side for him to truly believe that.

"Jeez Emma," Killian mumbled, trying to hold her up.

"Sorry I… I'm still a little drunk," Emma murmured, attempting to whisper back to Killian.

"Well that's just SUPER," Killian whispered, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Emma… What are you doing here? How did you even get in here?" David asked, looking between the two of them.

"I came here with a date!" Emma smirked, looking towards Killian who immediately felt the color leaving his face. "Emma… come on," Killian growled at her as David's mouth started to fall open.

"Not me mate!" Killian jumped in, annoyed as he pushed himself in front of Emma. Was she trying to get him killed by her own brother?

"Killian… you wouldn't bring her here right? RIGHT?! Who brought you here?! You are in so much trouble Emma…" David started, trying to reach Emma over Killian's shoulders. Fortunately, Killian was taller then David and he seemed to be struggling to reach his sister over Killian's broad shoulders.

"Killian MOVE!"

"No," Killian said with a deep breathe, stopping David's struggles.

"What? Did you just say NO?!"

"Look, can I talk to you for a second?" Killian whispered to his friend who opened his mouth to retaliate, utter confusion crossing his face.

"Uh… I guess… What is happening right now?" David whispered back, looking confused, mad, and rather red in the face.

"She's had a really rough night, Dave. She came here with Neal and he got her drunk and left her here alone. If I hadn't found her I don't know what she would've done," Killian whispered quietly to David, making sure to leave out some important details from the night. Thankfully, Emma stayed behind him, swaying a little and looking towards the ground but otherwise seemingly okay. Neither man was sure if she could hear them but at this point Killian didn't really care. He just wanted to get her home.

"But… She needs to learn Killian," David argued back, looking disappointingly at his younger sister.

"And yelling at her is going to help her? Isn't that your parents job?"

"They don't really do well with parenting Emma… it's complicated…She's complicated," David admitted.

Killian's mind raced with confusion. What else was she hiding? "Yeah," was all Killian managed to say but David wasn't listening anymore.

"I'm not going to yell at her," David nodded to Killian, looking back to Emma who was now meeting his eyes, her arms crossed protectively across her chest. Killian wanted to ask more, but this didn't seem like the time or place so instead he let David move around him and step to Emma's side. "Emma? Are you ready to go home?" David asked her, putting his arms around her waist and letting her calm down in his arms. Emma nodded, slipping her arm around her brother and letting him lead her out to the car.

"I had everything under control," Emma whispered to David.

"Sure you did," David whispered back, nodding for Killian to follow them out.

"I messed up again didn't I?" Emma continued.

"No darling, you're okay," David smiled to her.

Emma felt warm and fuzzy as she lay in the back of the car. She could hear David talking to her but she was tired and her head hurt so she just lay there, occasionally mumbling in response and hearing him chuckle. Something warm and thick lay over her shoulders and Emma felt the sides, deciding it was a leather jacket. Perhaps Killian's?

"Where's Killian?" Emma asked, trying to sit up straight and failing miserably, her body crumpling back into a ball on the seat.

"He drove himself to the bar remember? You need to relax. Actually you both need to relax," David smirked.

"Speak for… speak for yourself," Emma laughed, laying back down on the seat, "Oh no." Emma could feel her stomach sloshing. Her head felt heavy on the seat and she scooched over to the edge, looking at the door.

"What?" David asked, trying to look at Emma and keep an eye on the road.

"Nothing I'm fine…I think," Emma responded, feeling the nausea moving up her throat..

"I'm pulling over."

"You are a smart man," Emma mumbled, burying her head in the leather jacket and hoping her nausea would pass. It did not.

"Do not throw up in this car Emma! I swear to god!" David yelled from the front, pulling the car to the side and throwing Emma's door open.

"I'm not going to… I think I'm goof… nope not good," Emma mumbled, pulling herself to the edge of her seat and feeling the alcohol move rapidly up her esophagus.

"It's a good thing I love you," David said, reaching over to pull his sister's hair out of her face while she evacuated the poison from her body and into the grass.

"Don't ever let me drink again," Emma said, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

"Because that works so well," David mumbled, helping Emma move back into the car. She grunted, pulling the jacket back over her shoulders and ignoring his comments.

"Thank you," Emma whispered, feeling herself drifting in and out of sleep in the back of David's car.

"Hey I'm your brother it's what I do," David replied, looking back at Emma who was barely keeping an eye open to look at him. Emma felt the smile appear on her cheeks before she started to doze off, her head lying on cold leather seats and her body cuddled into Killian's leather jacket.

She wanted to talk to David more and tell him everything she had done wrong in the past couple days but she didn't. She couldn't and she knew that. So instead, she curled into herself and let sleep take her, only waking slightly when David moved her from the car to her bed, whispering a goodnight in her ear and leaving her to fall back asleep in the comfort of her blankets. She was happy, at least she wanted to be, but she couldn't help but miss the leather jacket around her shoulders that smelled of the man sleeping in the room next door.

Emma woke late the next morning, her head spinning, and her stomach making queasy noises that did not sound okay. "Ugh," She mumbled, pulling her blankets over her head and trying to ignore her feelings of disgust that were creeping up her insides. Peaking out from her eyelids, Emma could catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror. I need a shower, Emma thought to herself, noticing the greasy mess of hair that was now covering her makeup streaked face.

Pulling herself out of bed, Emma stripped from her party clothes, wrapped a towel around herself, and headed straight to the shower across the hall.

"Emma? Is that you?" Killian's voice whispered to her from his room and Emma groaned internally. His door was slightly ajar and he was peaking out at her with a face of determination until he saw that she looked rather displeased and was in nothing but a towel outside of his door.

"Uh… I was just going to ask if we could talk about last night… but it can wait," Killian mumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

"There's nothing to talk about. It was a misunderstanding and it won't happen again. Don't worry about it," Emma replied, turning back to the bathroom.

"Cmon, Swan."

"I'm sorry," Emma said back, her face turning scarlet with embarrassment as she shut the door behind her before Killian got a chance to reply. Her heart was pounding too hard to deal with him right now. She wasn't sure how long she could escape talking but she was going to find out.

Sighing, Emma leaned against the door, sliding to the ground and covering her face in her hands. She felt unsettled as she sat on the cold tile floor but a shower would have to do for now. Get up, it's okay, She told herself and slowly she did get up and turned the water on letting the steam fill the bathroom and trying not to think about anything but cleaning off. Unfortunately, thoughts from last night seemed to keep forcing their way into Emma's head and she groaned. I have to push him away. Killian would never be allowed to stay here if David found out, Emma told herself, trying to convince herself she was doing the right thing. But there in the back of her mind were memories of a knot in her lower abdomen, Killian's mouth against hers, and a want she had never felt before.

"Shit," Emma murmured, feeling butterflies pushing at her insides just thinking about him. She leaned against the cold wall of the shower grunting in annoyance and let the water cover her body, hoping the warmth would wash away her thoughts. Pulling her hair back to allow her body to be fully submerged, she scrubbed all of the sweat and dirt off of herself. She could feel a quiver in her stomach though, one that urged her to slip her hands between her thighs and think of nothing but pure bliss and the man across the hall. Slowly she moved her hands around her body, scrubbing every inch of dirt and trying to focus wholeheartedly about anything other then that. I can't be thinking about him, She told herself, pushing any thought of him out of her head. Besides, she had another boy to deal with, Neal. Neal, oh no, once again Emma groaned to herself not wanting to think about him or the fight they would have about this. "What a mess," Emma groaned under the water, removing her hands from her body and back up to her hair. She had too much on her plate for any normal 18 year old and she didn't want to deal with Neal right now. What she wanted to do, was wash the filth from her hair and call Ruby.

Two hours later, Emma's hair was still soaked and pulled up high into a wet, tight bun that weighed about 5 pounds all on it's own. Thankfully though, the air was breezy and warm and was drying her topknot as she walked down the little beach by the lake with Ruby at her side. "Can we please do something fun today," Emma asked Ruby, closing her eyes and feeling the sun burn her cheeks. Somehow the little burn always made her feel better.

"Ohhh of course. What'd you have in mind?" Ruby raised her eyebrows mischievously but Emma just smiled at her.

"Let's go on a hike," She said simply and Ruby's nose crunched up a little in annoyance.

"Exercising hurts my body," Ruby sneered.

"It's good for you," Emma replied, pushing her toes into the sand. It was already almost two in the afternoon so their hike would have to be shorter then usual but still enough to make her sweat out the toxins and anger that seemed to swell in Emma's chest.

"Alright let's head back then. If I'm going to be sweating, I can't be wearing anything jean," Ruby mumbled annoyingly looking down at the barely there jean shorts that did not actually cover anything. Emma snickered at her friend but agreed to turn around, chatting casually about Ruby's night and very carefully avoiding any talk of Emma's.

"I need coffee. Lots and lots of coffee," Killian mumbled, as he ran his hands through his greasy hair. Approaching David in the kitchen, he moved rhythmically beside his friend, pouring himself a cup from the pot that someone had so thoughtfully made. David nodded in agreement, holding up his own cup before taking a big gulp of the hot drink and laughing as Killian did the same.

"Reminds me of so many mornings in Ireland," David laughed.

"Yeah, my mornings while you watched and laughed," Killian shot back, shoving David in the shoulder.

"Yeah… well do you see now why it's hard for me to relax? I have spent my whole life spending nights like that. Just picking Emma off the ground and dusting her off so she can go make the same mistake the next day."

Killian listened to David, watching those familiar creases in his forehead. David looked tired, overworked, like a father of three kids rather then the brother of one. And then he remembered something David had said at the bar last night. Something about their parents not parenting Emma. "Hey Dave," Killian spoke up.

"Hm?" David asked lazily, rubbing the creases out of his forehead.

"I know I asked last night but… Why is it not your parents job to take care of Emma?"

David sighed and looked silently at the floor. Killian waited patiently, sipping on his coffee. If David didn't want to talk he didn't have to but Killian felt there was more to this story and eventually someone was going to have to explain. It was like there was a big secret looming above everyone's heads and no one felt the need to acknowledge it.

"Emma doesn't do well with parents," David said finally, speaking carefully.

"Why?"

"Bad experiences."

"What does that mean?" Killian looked questioningly at David but David was looking somewhere else, barely answering any questions.

"Maybe you should ask her," David nodded, looking behind Killian towards the back porch where Emma and Ruby were just walking up.

Emma's eyes were on the ground again, avoiding his own and Killian felt his jaw tightening up. He wanted her to look at him, he wanted her to talk to him.

"Hey guys!" Ruby called out, waving a hand at the two boys who just gave a small wave in return, "Jeez did someone die? It's like a morgue in here you're all so quiet," Ruby added, looking repulsively at them.

"Good morning Emma," Killian said loudly, ignoring Ruby's comments.

"Hm?" Emma mumbled, following Ruby through the screen door and heading straight for the stairs, barely stopping when Killian called for her.

"I said good morning lass," Killian said again.

"Morning," Emma replied quickly, not bothering to even glance at them before disappearing into the staircase, pulling Ruby behind her.

"Well that went well," David chuckled.

"Always does," Killian smirked, rolling his eyes and feeling rather embarrassed. The girl really was the most frustrating woman on the planet but Killian didn't feel annoyed with her. He just wanted her to open up to him and he was afraid he was just pushing her farther and farther away. As if David could read his thoughts, Killian felt David giving him a big pat on the back. "Don't take it personally, man. She's 18. She doesn't want to be hanging around with her older brothers.

"I'm not her older brother," Killian stated, trying to push that idea out of everyone's heads before Emma started seeing him as that.

"Last night? The way you helped her get her home and took care of her… Seems pretty brotherly to me. Either that or like a boyfriend but we both know that's not going to happen," David laughed, nudging him.

"You sound so sure," Killian raised his eyebrows at him challengingly but David's smile didn't budge.

"Sorry to tell ya this but if Emma wanted you she would have made a move by now," David explained, shrugging in apology, "I know Emma."

"Yes you do," Killian laughed, shrugging to his friend and forcing the little smirk on his lips out of his mind.

Emma threw clothes at Ruby and rushed around the room and trying to push spandex on, her new running shorts, and a somewhat acceptable t-shirt for their hike. "What's the rush?" Ruby asked, taking her time to decide what to wear.

"I don't want to lose daylight," Emma said, lightly shooting her friend a smug little smile.

"Orrr you don't want to see Killian again before we leave?" Ruby guessed, crossing her arms across her chest and waiting patiently for Emma to reply. Instead Emma just snapped her fingers and pointed down to the pile of clothes. "Pick something please."

"Come on talk to me!" Ruby groaned, dramatically falling onto Emma's bed. The entire scene made Emma want to punch her in the face but unfortunately Ruby was right. She was hiding something.

"Ruby… I need this hike. I need to clear my mind. I don't want to be the stupid teenager who keeps making mistakes all her life and then sits in her room gossiping about it because she can't figure things out on her own. I'm sick of that… I just… want to hike," Emma sounded so defeated as the words left her mouth and she wondered if Ruby would actually drop the subject. They looked to each other in silence for a minute, Ruby eyeing her questioningly. "Are you alright?" Ruby said finally and Emma nodded.

"Alright. Let's go take this hike then shall we?" Ruby nodded, picking a pair of shorts at random to put on instead of her jeans.

"Thank you," Emma smiled and her friend nodded. Thankfully for Emma, Ruby knew a thing or two about hiding secrets. Especially when it came to Emma's.

Ruby and Emma dressed quickly after that and by the time they left for their hike, the boys had evacuated the kitchen, allowing the girls to be able to leave without an explanation. Stealing Dave's keys, Emma drove the short trip to the start of the mountain she had chosen for the day and Ruby groaned when the car slowed down.

"Cmon, we both know you actually love these hikes," Emma giggled, jumping out of the car and heading down the path to the start of the mountain. Ruby continued to groan, but a little smile played on her cheeks. Despite Ruby's girly and flirty attitude she was incredibly strong and athletic and Emma knew she actually enjoyed herself out here. No one in New Hampshire came here who didn't belong.

"Emma, slow down," Ruby called, jogging to keep up with her friend while they scampered up the start of the trail that would lead to a few different views.

"I just have a lot of energy," Emma breathed heavily, keeping a few feet ahead of Ruby, who was giving her space.

"Ugh, fine," Ruby said, "I see how it's going to be."

"What do you mean?" Emma turned to see Ruby running up to her, her legs bounding ahead of her.

"What?... Ruby… what are you doing?"

"Running… 1) to keep up with you," Ruby said, jogging ahead of her friend and pulling her by the arm up the road, " and 2) because obviously you want to get rid of some energy so let's just do it."

Emma thought about it for a minute, laughing slightly because Ruby had never willing run with her let alone up a mountain on a hot day. But Emma was grateful and she nodded, speeding up the pace and passing back in front of her companion. Ruby was right, she needed more then a hike, she needed even more then jogging even, she needed to sprint out all of this adrenaline, all of the alcohol, all of the bad decisions and recklessness in her body.

"Yes, I need this," Emma said softly but Ruby didn't say anything, just nodding for her to keep going, pushing her even and Emma laughed, feeling that familiar sense of adrenaline in her veins. Ruby ran at Emma's side, both girl's ponytails swishing back and forth with the wind and the twisting and curving of the trail.

Emma didn't know how long they were running for, only that she didn't want to stop until she became too nauseous to handle it. Her feet moved fast though and soon she was passing Ruby, running alone up the mountain with the only sounds being her breath and the crunch of her sneakers on the dirt. It seemed like she was moving forever but she didn't look back, in fact she barely looked forward.

Her eyes seemed mesmerized by the mountain floor, the gravel under her sneakers, and the branches that seemed littered around her. Emma could feel herself losing air but she pushed on anyways, allowing lactic acid to build up in her thighs and cause that unwelcome burning in her body that she knew would inevitably come. But still she pushed on, her breathing coming in as gasps now into her lungs and she looked up to an opening ahead of her. Smiling a little, Emma aimed for the clearing, sprinting through trees and past the barrier between forest and sun. Slowly at the edge of the opening, Emma gasped for air in her untrained lungs.

She had seen this view before, many times in fact, and it was generally a very pretty view, one that made her feel calm and at peace with the world. She usually could sit here in silence and be perfectly content but today she needed to hear her gasps for air, even when they didn't stop. Breathe Emma Breathe, She thought to herself. Emma had her hands on her knees and bent forward looking to the ground for air. Sweat passed down her face and her heart beat heavily in her ear. She barely heard Ruby moving behind her and placing a hand on her back.

"Are you alright?" Ruby asked quietly, rubbing her back but quickly removing her hand at the feel of sweat. "Do you need water?" Emma shook her head. She tried to speak but the words were jumbled, her knees to weak and her breath to uneven to get anything to come out clear.

"I'm...sorry. Just can't breathe," Emma finally whispered, her voice cracking in her throat.

"I mean yeah… but besides that," Ruby tried to joke, laughing softly.

"I'm alright. I just feel… Honestly I just feel like I can't escape the "fucked up teenager" thing, ya know?" Emma said, still breathing heavily.

"Yeah, I get that. Did running help?"

"A little actually," Emma laughed, "But then I'll go home and be a disappointment again to my family and my relationships just like I was to my friends and my… foster families," Emma said quietly, looked away from Ruby and out to the view, pretending to take it all in but her mind was too jumbled to really focus today.

"You aren't disappointing your family. And you aren't hurting Killian if that's what you're worried about Emma," Ruby said quietly.

"I will though."

"And your foster families? Really? They gave YOU up Emma, not the other way around. You did nothing wrong there and you know that."

"I hurt someone there… that's why they gave me back… that's why everyone gives me back," Emma cursed, kicking a small stone so it went off the edge of the cliff.

"You were 6… And as crazy as it seems, you've come a really long way from there," Ruby smiled, walking towards her friend and wrapping her arms around Emma's waist.

"How would you know? You didn't meet me until I was 10," Emma laughed.

"Because there is no way you could've gotten any worse then when you were ten," Ruby laughed back and Emma shoved her off.

"I could still take you down."

"Yeah and you have… MANY TIMES might I add!" Ruby yelled, running at Emma and tackling her to the ground with an ooph.

"Ah! What are you doing… you…you psychopath!" Emma struggled to yell, trying to worm her way out of Ruby's grip.

"Well they don't call me Wolfy for nothing," Ruby raised her eyebrows to Emma and then howled as loud as she could, still laying on top of her friend.

"You're mad," Emma said.

"All the best people are," Ruby winked, finished the Alice in Wonderland quote and kissing Emma on the forehead before choosing to get off of her.

"I'm sorry," Emma blushed, feeling stupid and embarrassed by her sudden outburst of emotion. Thankfully, Ruby just smiled.

"It's okay Emma… Actually no. It is only okay… if you tell me what happened last night," Ruby smirked. Emma felt herself rolling her eyes but she knew it would come out eventually. Besides, she needed someone on her side.

"I did something bad. Something 'disappointing' you might say," Emma put air quotes around the word jokingly but she knew it was true.

"Naturally."

"You can't tell anyone."

"Also naturally."

"I kissed Killian."

"Oh! What?"

"While I was at a bar with Neal."

"What?!"

"And I enjoyed it."

"WHATTT"

"And Ruby I swear I thought he would be the one who couldn't handle it…"

"But?... But it's you. You want him…"

Slowly Emma's face met Ruby's and their eyes locked, Ruby's looking fiercely into Emma's. "Yes," Emma admitted.

"YESSS!" Ruby laughed, her reaction getting a small chuckle in return from Emma's lips.

"No Ruby… This is bad. David had to come get me and…the way he looked at me… I can't hurt him like that," Emma admitted, feeling guilt squirming in her skin.

"Does David know?!"

"No," Emma scoffed, feeling more and more immature as the conversation continued.

"Oh darling, how cliché," Ruby laughed, "falling for the best friend… I'd expect nothing less from you."

"Ruby! I'm serious! What do I do?"

"Well you do what any respectable woman would do," Ruby shrugged, "See how much you can get away with." And with that Ruby gave her a wink and pushed herself up from the dirt floor. Emma wanted to retaliate, still feeling guilty and just as much of a disappointment as usual but Ruby was already running away from her, getting a head start up the hill and for one long moment, Emma kind of agreed with her. Besides, there was no way she could make this any worse right?

I am so sorry this chapter took me so long to put up! For those that are still reading, thank you and I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I still have a lot of big plans for this story so don't give up hope. As always, reviews make me happy. Thanks everyone!