TIME OF TESTING

So, he loves her and she loves him. They both want to get married and have babies but he's afraid he's pressuring her into something that she's not ready for, and she's afraid that she won't be capable when the time comes.

All caught up now? Good. ~ DK

…

"Would you like to know the sex of your baby?" the midwife asked as she moved the probe through the gel on Lana's belly.

Lana smirked. "Would you laugh if I told you I already knew?"

"Considerin' what happened last time I might." The midwife, Niamh, who Lana had said was the same woman who'd delivered Dalla, smiled as well. "Does your friend know the story?"

"Aye, she does." Lana remembered her friend and looked away from the sonogram to Shara, who was sitting off to the side silent as the dead. "Shara?"

Shara fixed her eyes on the sonogram and the baby whose image was captured on the screen. She could make out the outline of his or her little head in the fuzzy, black and white image.

"Shara?" Lana repeated. Shara hadn't said much since she'd come back from the island with Jamos, and she especially hadn't said anything about the falling out between her and Jamos.

Shara spoke absently, as if she hadn't even heard her own name. "Do you think? I mean, I know you're here for Lana and of course she needs you more than I do. She's the one who's pregnant. And I'm… I've never been… I just… Is it possible that you could tell me why I haven't… why I was never able… I-if I'll never going to be able to…" She pressed her eyes shut and a tear escaped past her lashes and down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. Then she swallowed and rushed to get out the whole question. "Is there a way for you to tell if I'm able to have children?"

"Shara?" Lana laid her hand on the younger woman's arm. She assessed that this must have been at least part of the reason for the strange behavior exhibited between her friend and her brother-in-law but she had no idea that things had progressed so far in such a short amount of time. "Have you and Jamos been… trying?"

"No!" Shara gasped and almost smiled. "No, we haven't even…." She bushed. "He asked me to marry him. He's asked me several times actually. But I… He's made it clear that he'd like to have children. I couldn't say yes. I-I didn't want him to get his hopes up if I couldn't…"

Clearly she didn't want to get her own hopes up either.

The midwife was all business. "Is there some reason you think you might be unable to get pregnant or carry a child? I don't see how, if you haven't even started trying…"

The woman didn't know Shara's history. Well, if she was going to help, then Shara supposed she needed to tell the professional all of her worries. She took a deep breath. "I was married before. We were… together for about two years, and never…"

The midwife frowned thoughtfully. "Two years is not an uncommon length of time to try. Remind me Lana. How long did you and Marlon try for Dalla?"

Lana answered. "Two years. It was exhausting, but she was worth it."

"And some couples have to wait much longer than…" The midwife started to explain.

"But that's not the only thing." Shara cut her off. "I'm sorry. When I was a child I was infected with the Dalgos Flu." She looked from Lana to the midwife and back again. She knew Lana had heard the story but just the mention of it didn't seem to faze either of them. "All of the mares who survived the plague were left sterile."

"Oh." The midwife looked back to her sonogram machine and then said "Well, I don't believe it would hurt to take a look. Shara, if you'll fill your bladder for me I can scan you as soon as I'm done with Lana here."

Shara nodded and filled a cup from a sink installed along the wall to do so when something occurred to her. She turned to Lana with a pleading expression. "Please don't tell Jamos, and please don't tell Marlon either."

Lana nodded. "What happens in this room, stays here."

Between gulps of water Shara rambled. She hoped it would be useful information and after days of near silence it felt good to finally unburden herself. "I was almost 15 before my cycle began. I had no idea that was late. We lost my mother to the flu." She told the midwife. Lana of course already knew that part. "My father wasn't comfortable talking about women's things. My friend Edda saw to that."

"And was it she who told you that you might have been sterilized by the illness?" The midwife asked skeptically.

"I'm sure she knew that it was possible but she said it was good that my cycle was strong and regular, once it started that is. I don't think she wanted to discourage me anymore than father did."

"By strong you mean heavy? Painful?" She didn't mean to worry Shara with the inquiry.

Still Shara had nothing to compare to her own experience. "The cramps are pretty nasty the first day but that's… is that bad?"

"Let the professional take a look." Lana said encouragingly as she clambered down from the exam table and things were cleaned and readied for the next patient. "If not your father or Edda, who told you about the possible effects of the flu?"

"I first read about the connection when I was taking care of Sophia's mother. She was the dalgos I delivered." Shara explained to the midwife. "I didn't really consider at first that it might apply to me and then on my 16th lifeday Brem… he didn't mean anything by it. It was just sort of a joke between friends. He kissed me."

She rushed on having already professed to Lana on more than one occasion that she and Brem were nothing more than friends. "His uncle found us and he dragged me back to my father. He said…" Shara remembered the words like they had been spoken yesterday. "He told my father to keep his whore daughter away from his nephew because he knew I'd had the plague. And my father must know that I couldn't give an heir to House Kira if I was as barren as the beasts."

"He said that?" Lana asked in shock

But the midwife had picked up on something else. "Did you say House Kira?"

"My friend Bremon is the last heir of House Kira." Shara said simply that had never mattered to her. In her mind he was just Brem. "But…" she dropped her voice to a whisper. "He's also supposedly a direct descendant of Freedon Nadd. His uncle found the old writings. They said he practiced the old magik, that he had received prophecies and could see the future."

Shara shuddered. She made the sign to ward off Dxun's evil and then remembered that she was a northerner now and didn't have to bother with the old superstition. She held her thumb to her lips and silently prayed for the salt gods protection instead.

The midwife scoffed. "I don't know about all that sorcery." She had in fact tried very hard to keep her own practice clear of the connotation with potions and witchcraft that people had once assumed of the profession. "I know science and I know there are tests we can do to find out the truth and if we do find a problem there are plenty of treatments we can try. Now why don't you hop up here and we can get started."

Nervously, Shara changed into the gown provided to her and sat on the exam table shivering slightly. She tried to joke. "Not nearly as fun when you're not expecting to see a little profile and little hands and little feet."

Lana stood beside her and squeezed her hand. "We'll get this figured out and hopefully the next time we do this we'll be looking for my niece or nephew on that screen."

Shara smiled gratefully at her friend and they let the midwife do her work. It was an uncomfortable business and the practitioner didn't say much as she was focused on finding answers.

Lana asked softly. "I know you don't really want to talk about it, Shara, but weren't there some tests that the Rashes had done while you were with them?"

She was right. Shara didn't want to think about anything having to do with the Rashes, but she welcomed the distraction. "I think they were mostly concerned that I wasn't a carrier of Fartrad's Disease."

The midwife looked up. "You've already been tested for that one?" She smiled. "That's one we can check off the list. It shouldn't have any bearing on your other issues but I was going to suggest it because of the Blackwell family history."

Lana grinned encouragingly. "See? Good news already. Was there anything else you can remember?"

"Not really." Shara frowned. "I never told them I was a plague survivor. I think maybe part of the reason I was with Sanjay was trying to prove Naidon Kira wrong. But then the longer we tried and failed…."

The midwife spoke up. "Everything looks fine structurally and you don't have any pelvic masses, which is good."

Shara breathed half a sigh of relief. They may have ruled one thing out, but they hadn't done everything.

"Our next step would be to do some bloodwork to check your hormone levels," the midwife continued. "I'm not familiar with this dalgos flu, but I'll look into it. There may be a test we can run up here and if not we can send a blood sample to the lab in Iziz and go from there."

"Alright." Shara held out her arm for the midwife to draw the blood. "Whatever you think is necessary, I'll do."

"And I'll be here," Lana patted her arm reassuringly. "Whatever tests we do, whatever results we get, I'll be here."

Shara smiled back at her. "Thank you, Lana, for everything."

…

"Lana?" Marlon startled up from the work on his datapad. "Lana, can you shed some light on this?"

"Of course." Lana made her way across the room. "What is it?"

"Why does the midwife need all this?" He gestured to the delivery inventory which had come in on the last ship. Testing supplies, biological laboratory equipment … in the context of the midwife, it was terrifying.

Lana winced. She was afraid this was going to happen. She'd promised Shara she wouldn't divulge the nature of the midwife's visits to Blackhold and their visits to her practice even to Marlon, but when they ordered the testing supplies she knew this was going to happen when the testing supplies were delivered. Of course the Lord of the North would know that medical supplies had arrived in the Hold.

She scanned the inventory until she found something she could truthfully explain without giving up Shara's secret. "Well that's the glucose for my test. Remember, when I had to drink that awful sweet drink and then wait a while before she tested me?"

"Aye," Marlon agreed. "But I don't remember any of this other stuff from when we had Dalla."

"Maybe she needs to stock up." That wasn't exactly a lie, was it?

"Lana?" Shara's voice reached them from down the hall before she entered the room. "Saw the ship come in. Was there word from…" her eyes widened the moment she came around the corner and saw that Lana wasn't alone. "Jamos." She finished lamely. "I was just wondering if there was any word from Jamos, how the voyage was going."

Marlon frowned. He hadn't heard Shara mention his brother's name in weeks. She might have spoken of him to Lana but it didn't seem like that was what she had originally meant to ask about.

"No. I'm sorry." Lana said to the girl, kindly. "I'm sure we'll hear something soon."

Shara nodded and started to walk away but then looked back with… hesitation? Or was that hope? "Still with the arrival of the shipment, we could probably…"

"We'll go check this afternoon." Lana rubbed her growing belly.

Shara smiled and took her leave.

Marlon's frown deepened as he watched her go. The he looked back at his wife. "Is this something I need to know about?"

Lana sighed and seemed to weigh her words. "Shara is… interested in midwifery. She has a bit of experience with dalgos husbandry. It's why she's been attending my appointments." The lie, if that's what this was, it certainly wasn't the whole truth, came more smoothly as she continued with the explanation. "She knew I had this glucose test coming up." She gestured to the item again on the shipping manifest. "And with the arrival of the supplies, she must assume that it's time to be getting on with that."

Lana made a disgusted expression. "Glad someone's happy about it. Drinking that sweet stuff is not as pleasant as it sounds."

Marlon searched her face for any other clues. "You're sure that's all it is?"

Lana stood up on her toes and had to lean awkwardly over her belly and pull his head down towards her to kiss his cheek. "I'm sure."

"Alright." He'd just have to trust her, for now. But before she walked away he had to ask. "Then what was that about Jamos?"

"Oh." She bit her lip before she answered. "Shara thinks he might be worried that if she gets too interested in another career path…" she rubbed her belly again. "That she might not want to be a Beast master anymore."

"Oh, aye." Marlon supposed that sort of made sense. But was Shara really that interested in midwifery? It seemed to him that it was a fairly recent obsession. Maybe being around Lana had reminded her of something from when she lived in Iziz. Could that have been what she and his brother had argued about?

Something didn't quite add up and he feared that the sum would still come up to a complication with Lana's pregnancy or their unborn child. "And you don't know anything about the other items on this list?"

"Now that you mention it." Lana seemed to recall. "Shara has been doing some of her own research. I think she may have told Niamh about something she had read that they're doing down in Iziz now. You know Niamh always trying to keep the practice up to date with the rest of the galaxy. That's probably what those other supplies are for, certainly nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about." Marlon repeated. "And nothing to do with you?"

"Nothing at all to do with me." Lana smiled and that was a perfectly honest smile.

Then why did the rest of this story give him such a nagging foreboding? There was one way Marlon could check the facts. He could comm his brother and demand to know the reason he and Shara had fought.

…

"Jay, I need you to tell me what got you and Shara so riled at each other." He started right in as soon as his brother's image materialized over the holotable.

Jamos was put instantly on the defensive. "I don't see where that's really any of your business."

"Please." Marlon started over again. "Lana keeps telling me that she's fine. That there's nothing wrong with the pregnancy but… I know when I'm being thrown a line, Jay."

"What does this have to do with me and Shar?" He still didn't seem willing to betray personal information but Jamos was definitely listening now.

The elder brother sighed agitatedly. "Just tell me, aye or nay. Did your argument have anything to do with Shara wanting to switch careers from beast mastering to… midwifery?"

"What? No." The confusion in his expression was enough to let Marlon know he'd been right.

Marlon swore and kicked the pedestal on which the table stood. His brother's image shimmered for a moment before it normalized again.

"What is this all about?" Jamos asked him.

Before he could speak again, Marlon fought to control his breathing. "Shara has been attending all of Lana's office visits with her. I haven't been to one of them. She brought me a disk of the sonogram but other than that… And then this shipment of supplies arrived this morning to be delivered to the midwife, testing equipment and packaging for shipping biological samples. Well, what am I supposed to think about that?" His hand raked through his hair, making it stand on end.

"I...er…" Jamos stammered.

"Jamos! This is my child we're talking about." Marlon lost all his patience. "Tell me what you know, and tell me right now!"

Jamos swallowed hard. "On the island. I did something, I said something absolutely stupid. And I guess it sort of had something to do with Lana."

"What did you say?"

"That I wanted to see...I'd like, someday, to see Shara in the same state as Lana."

Marlon closed his eyes. "Jay…"

"It was stupid, I know!" He began an explanation but Marlon didn't have time to worry about his relationship woes. Not when his unborn baby was possibly in danger.

"Get back to the Hold," he ordered. "I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is I need you to help me either find out what's going on, or in case something bad is happening…" Marlon swallowed the lump in his throat thinking of that and banished the thought from his mind.

"Alright, I'm on my way." Jamos agreed. "It might take a while. We're a ways out. But we'll put on all sail and get there as soon as we can."

…

Shara looked at the ID on her comm unit and took a deep breath before she activated the image. She'd been going over in her mind how she'd tell him about the tests but now she was too nervous to say anything. "Hello." She managed with a slight break in her voice.

"Hey." Jamos smiled at her.

Then they both spoke at once. "I just wanted to…" "it's good to finally…"

"You go first." He invited.

"No, please, you go ahead." She insisted.

"Okay." He took a breath and then said. "Is Lana okay? Marl's worried about her."

"You commed to talk about Lana?" She asked, a little disappointed. It had been so long since they had spoken and this was the subject he opened with?

"She is the one who's pregnant." He gave a chuckle.

Shara didn't see anything funny about it. "As opposed to me?"

His smile faded. "Marl said you've been going to all her appointments with her?"

"I have and she's fine. She and the baby are both perfectly healthy."

"Aye." His jaw tightened. "Everyone else's babies are fine."

"What?" Shara was lost. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just mine you don't want."

"I never said that!" Her voice rose higher.

"Look Shar, you didn't have to. I know he pressured you into it. If you don't want to have kids, I understand."

"You know nothing, Jamos Blackwell! You never even asked!" Angry tears were already blurring her vision and a sob broke her words. "I was going to tell you something, but now…"

He stared at her, baffled by the reaction. "Maybe we can talk about it when I get back. Marlon asked me to come back to the Hold."

She gave a non-committal nod. "Well, sail in the light of the salt gods and... may they guide you safely home." Shara gave him the traditional blessing and then she cut off the connection.

…

If LS gets her Tamer of Rupings, I get my Wildling. I couldn't resist. We would both love a comment or two. And I don't know about you but I can't wait for the next chapter. It's a good one!