GRANDMOTHER FLINT

Maybe the thing Shara really needs right now is a mother figure. She hardly remembers her own mother and grandmother, had a terrible experience with one mother-in-law, and missed out on chance at another but maybe another opportunity is sailing her way. ~ DK

…

A word of warning: there is a mention of suicide in this chapter. It is not a contemporary event just the memories and lingering grief of our characters. LS and I know that this is not a subject to take lightly. It is a tragic reality that has most likely touched all of our lives in one way or another. Whether you know someone who has attempted or succeeded or if you have entertained those thoughts yourself please know that we wish you hope and healing.

…

Shara very nearly decided to just give up on the whole testing endeavor. After all it was a complete hassle. Marlon was getting worried that it was all to do with Lana's pregnancy instead of her. She'd given enough blood, she was sure, to fill the river all the way down to Iziz. And what did any of it matter if she no longer had a relationship with the one man in the entire Galaxy who she would ever really want to have a child with?

But no, she told herself. This wasn't about anyone else. She was done allowing anyone else to dictate when and how she would find out what her body could or could not do. She was going to see this through to the end. And when she had those answers… and when Jamos came home…

Now it was just a waiting game. The latest round of samples had been sent out to labs, a couple of them just to the med center in Iziz but another was headed all the way to Naboo. They'd heard there was a researcher there who was studying a similar infection to the Dalgos Flu. In that case Falumpasets were the original carriers before the contagion was passed to humanoids but with similar results. Shara was just glad the mess with the Trade Federation on that particular planet as taken care of. Otherwise who knew how long it would have taken to see results.

She was trying to keep her mind occupied in the meantime. Lana had lent her a book that she was really enjoying, if she could only stay focused on it.

Shara sighed and looked down again at the page. It was a biography on real flimsy pages that Shara had been surprised to learn contained the true life story of a character she had thought was only made up for a children's story.

Melaana had told Shara that she planned on naming her daughter Sanya, after a famous sea captain. She'd had no idea at the time that Sanya Harkon had been a real person who had sailed Onderon's northern sea and married a Blackwell, cementing the friendship of the two families ever since.

By the third chapter, Shara was truly enthralled in the adventure and drama and romance. She had forgotten to eat lunch and made it to the twenty-seventh chapter by mid afternoon. And then she had just reached the wedding for which Sanya had written her own vows that were sometimes still included in northern ceremonies, when Marlon found her in the library curled up with the volume, with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," he said softly.

"No, that's alright." Shara marked her place and sat up a little straighter. "Did you need me for something or does Lana?"

Marlon took the chair next to her looking contrite. "I'm afraid it's I who needs to apologise to you."

"Apologize?"

"I insisted that Lana tell me what all this business has been with the midwife." He confessed.

"Oh." Shara nodded in resignation. "She was right to tell you. We never meant for you to worry."

"So all the extra tests have been to discern if you and Jamos would be able to have children?"

"I'm not doing this for him," she answered too quickly, her voice a little too harsh. She bit her lip. "I wanted to know for myself."

"He's very much in love with you and would like to start a family but he would never pressure you."

"I know."

"But you refused him?"

"Refused him? I've been putting him off. I don't think I've ever out right refused him." Jamos had asked her to marry him half a dozen times but other than when she was still married, and maybe even then, she had desperately wanted to say yes.

"You mean …" Marlon looked at her left hand pointedly and then gave her a guilty smile.

"He told you he meant to ask me, didn't he?"

"He did." The man admitted.

"Salt gods only know if he'll still want to after our argument." She sniffed. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I want to stay at the Hold and help Lana with Dalla and the baby. Maybe I should think about studying to become a midwife."

Marlon studied her for a moment. "Shara, do you know what bothered me most about not knowing what was going on with Lana these past several weeks?"

"No." She shook her head guiltily. His needless worry had been all her fault.

"It wasn't because I was afraid something might be wrong with Lana or the baby, although that certainly was a concern. I was sure she would have told me if it were something really worrisome."

Now Shara studied him.

"It was because I knew she was bothered about something and she didn't feel the need to come and tell me about it."

Shara sighed. "I asked her not to. I'm sorry I…"

"Now I'm not saying this to blame you for anything and I wouldn't want to pry into your business." He said firmly. "You say that you're not doing this for Jamos and maybe that's so, although I think he might disagree about his investment in the outcome one way or another."

"Even if he … I don't have anything to tell him until the test results come back and I…"

Marlon stopped her again with a hand on her arm. "This is a subject that you care very deeply about."

"Well, aye."

"My brother loves you. He may be an idiot and not know how to express it all the time." He smiled, trying to coax a smile out of her as well. "I'm sorry about that. We'll work on him. But, don't you think that he might like to be the one you turn to when you are dealing with something that is really important to you?"

"Oh!" Shara's eyes widened. "I hadn't thought about that. I'll talk to him when he…"

Lana's entrance into the library put a halt to the conversation. "Ship coming into the harbor."

Shara perked up and Marlon gave her a wink. "That brother of mine finally decide to show his face?"

"No actually this time it's my brother and if I can make a wild guess I would say we should be getting a comm in about 3 - 2 -" Lana pulled the chiming comm unit out of her pocket with a smirk. "What did I tell you?"

She clicked to activate the unit and above it materialized the small image of a well dressed elderly lady. "Hello, my dear."

"Hello, Grandmother." Lana gave her a respectful nod.

"I have commandeered your brother and his ship to bring me to Blackhold and we are within sight of your lovely little island now."

Lana shot a smirk at her husband before she politely asked, "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Do I need to have a reason to visit my favorite granddaughter?"

"Making sure that our list of prospective baby names is up to your standards?" Lana teased.

The older woman smiled and then sighed dramatically. "I suppose it is up to me to make sure my next great grandchild doesn't end up with something as bland and overused as Dalla. I have six great-granddaughters named Dalla! And that's not counting all my great-nieces."

"We happen to be very fond of the name. But we promise out of deference to you that we won't name the next one Dalla."

"I can hardly wait to see her. It's been far too long since I've seen any of you." She betrayed a smile and then straightened, switching back to business mode. "Well I shan't keep you. I'm sure you've plenty to do to prepare for our imminent arrival."

"It's no problem at all, Grandmother. We'll see you soon." Lana keyed off the connection with a laugh.

Marlon groaned. "Would it kill that woman to comm ahead once in awhile?"

Lana gently smacked him. "That's my grandmother you're talking about."

"She still could comm!" He complained but he kissed her cheek all the same.

Lana waddled off, yelling over her shoulder back at Marlon and Shara. "I'll fix up some rooms for them. You get Dalla ready!"

The door shut behind her and Marlon sighed and with mock exasperation "In-laws!"

"Sounds like a family thing." Shara attempted to excuse herself. "I'll just hang out in my room, finish my book."

"You think you're getting out of this that easily? You're probably part of the reason she's here. Come on." He looked mock pleadingly at her. "You can't leave me alone with all these Flints. Without Jay here you're the closest thing I've got to family. I always wanted a kid sister." He offered his arm to escort her and she took it with a smile.

"You really think she wants to meet me?"

"Aye, she'll want to hear all the first hand news about her southern cousins to add to her database. But she'll most likely also appoint herself as your honorary Grandmother/Matchmaker. Who knows she might have a candidate to rival my brother stowed away in her luggage."

Shara rolled her eyes. "I never had a mother or grandmother to fuss over me. And Sanda certainly never made me wish for one."

Marlon sobered and smiled sadly. "Wish you could have met Jay and I's mother."

Jamos hardly ever mentioned his mother, and Shara had steered clear of the subject but now she had to ask. "Was it an illness that took her to the salt gods?"

He bowed his head and spoke heavily. "She… took herself to the salt gods."

"She… I'm sorry. I had no idea." Of course that was why they didn't want to talk about it.

But after the tooka was out of the bag a weight seemed to lift off young lord's shoulders and he continued with calm assurance. "It was an awful shock when we first discovered that she had walked down the sea stairs and would never be coming back. I guess she had never really been the same after my father died. She stayed with us long enough to see Lana and I married and officially settled as Lord and Lady of the North and she knew that Jamos was happy sailing on his ship."

"But she never got to meet Dalla. She missed out on so much." Shara thought of all the things she wished she could share with her own father. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be adopted by Lana's infamous Grandmother Flint.

"I see a lot of her in Dalla." His smile was wistful. "Her temper." He chuckled, remembering. "Of course Jamos got that too. The way he gets sarcastic and says things he doesn't mean. Momma did that and then she'd apologize and she was so sincere it would break your heart. She was really very kind and she knew exactly what to say at the right moment."

"Like Jamos," Shara whispered.

Marlon sniffed and drew himself back to the task at hand. "Well, we had better get Dalla ready to meet her great grandmother or we'll both be facing someone else's wrath."

…

"See the sigil?" Marlon gestured to the black banner with the bright orange flame. "People joke that the Flints chose the flame for their sigil because they spread like it."

"I believe you're helping to spread little half-Flints." Lana smirked.

"Well the other reason they chose it is for their ability to appear out of nowhere, with no warning."

This time Lana rolled her eyes. "Grandmother likes you, Marlon. Please, try to stay in her good graces."

"Me, leave someone's good graces?" Marlon pointed to himself in mock surprise. "That would never happen."

Shara smiled a little at the couple's antics and then turned her attention to Dalla who was peeking around her parents' legs at the ship. "What about you, Dalla? Are you excited to see your great-grandmother?"

"Don't hide!" Marlon fished his daughter from her hiding place and pretended to cower behind her. "You're my bodyguard, Dalla. You have to protect me from your grandma."

"Marlon."

Just then the gangplank was lowered and the elderly woman from the hologram descended on the arm of a young redheaded man who grinned hugely at Lana.

Lana smiled back. "Wyman, Grandmother. How was your trip?"

"We've had good weather all the way," the young man said and released the woman's arm when they reached the dock before he tackled Lana in a hug. "Good to see you, little sister."

Lana hugged him back. "How did she manage to commandeer your ship?" She whispered into her older brother's ear.

Wyman winced. "She didn't exactly ask."

Lana must have expected as much. She silently sighed and then held out her arms to the woman. "Grandmother, you look lovely."

"I'm not lovely my dear, I'm old." Grandmother Flint accepted the briefest of hugs. "But don't apologize, I let my favorites get away with such things."

"Good thing I'm your favorite."

Grandmother flashed her a small smile before she moved onto the others. "Marlon. Has the fishing season been going well?"

"It has." He ruffled Dalla's hair. "Say hello to your great-grandmother, Dalla."

"Ah yes. My generically-named grandchild." Despite her complaints Grandmother's smile returned when she looked to Dalla. "Hello, dear."

"Hello." Dalla said cautiously.

"You probably don't remember me. The last time I saw you, you were just a baby. You've certainly grown up now. Tell me child, how old are you now?" Dalla held up two fingers. "Two! That's a good deal of space between siblings."

Wyman raised his eyebrows. "Lana, don't you and Marlon want to keep pace with the rest of us?"

Lana bopped him in the shoulder. "Let's not scare Shara away before she's even been introduced to the both of you."

In an instant the matriarch's gaze was on Shara. "Shara, is it?"

"Aye, Lady Flint." Shara gave her a respectful nod. "My name is Shara Rupingwood; I've heard so much about you and it's so good to finally meet you in person."

"As have I heard about you." Grandmother Flint seized one of Shara's hands in her own. "You are beautiful."

Shara blushed. "Thank you, ma'am."

"Not ma'am," Grandmother scoffed. "Grandmother. No one's called me anything but since my first grandchild was born. Well, except for that Bralykburn fellow once, salt gods take his soul."

"Hugo Bralykburn?" Shara asked.

"No dear, his father. Filled his foolish head with ale and called me Lady Hag. I may be old, but I believe I've aged rather well. And so did he, after I informed his crew of some of his more private business endeavours."

Shara blinked.

"Besides." The Lady went on. "You must have some Flint blood in you with that fair, amber hair." she reached out a hand and touched the braid that was draped over Shara's shoulder.

"My mother nearly married a Flint." Shara burst out not knowing quite what to say. "But he had nothing to do with my hair." She blushed. "I have my father's coloring."

"We'll check the records all the same. It seems as if my family is everywhere these days." She locked arms with Shara. "Well, let's go inside before we all freeze to death out here."

"I'll escort this little lady inside, if she'll have me." Wyman Flint held out his arms to his niece.

Dalla studied him for a moment before she grinned and ran to him.

"There's my girl!" He scooped her up. "You can keep me company while I'm away from your cousins."

The little girl nodded and giggled.

"Who's your favorite uncle?" Wyman asked.

Without a beat she answered, "Jamos!"

Everyone laughed except for Wyman, who groaned, "How am I supposed to compete with that?"

"Maybe if you came around more often to visit." Lana patted her brother on the shoulder as they all continued into the Hold.

…

"So tell me about this almost step-father of yours." Grandmother Flint demanded as soon as the three women were settled before a warm fire in the sitting room.

Lana shook her head and smiled indulgently down at the tiny fishing leathers she was sewing.

"His name was Klint." Shara informed the matriarch. "At least that's what my mother's journal said."

"Klint Flint?" Grandmother sighed dramatically and picked up one of the datapads she had arranged on the table in front of her. "Aye, I remember that one. Whatever possessed his parents to name him that…"

"They didn't have you around to approve name selection." Lana teased.

The older lady raised an eyebrow in her granddaughter's direction but she didn't comment. Instead she brought up a document on the datapad. "It seems like that name came up in my research recently. Let's see… It says here that Klint fathered 14 children. His wife died delivering the youngest."

"Aye, that was in Mother's journal," Shara agreed.

"But he never remarried." Grandmother tapped the 'pad, nodding. "According to this it was his oldest daughter who helped care for her remaining siblings after Klint and over half of the children were taken in the epidemic." The old Lady frowned, touched her thumb to her lips, and raised her hand to the salt gods.

Lana and Shara both repeated the gesture reverently.

"The family also took in a neighbor who was orphaned by the plague. The child was close to death herself, but they nursed her back to health." Grandmother perked up, pointing to the article. "This is why the story sounded familiar. The girl they took in married one of the brothers. Another Wyman," she nodded pointedly at Lana. "The couple just had their sixth child last year, named her Werda. Now there's a unique name for you. I'm told it's Mandalorian…"

But Shara had stopped listening, focused only on one detail. "She survived the plague and had six children?"

"Well, six so far." Grandmother shrugged. "If they can keep coming up with original names like Werda, though they ought to keep going."

Lana and Shara shared a hopeful smile.

The older lady seemed not to notice. She was still focused on her research. "But none of them are your blood relatives so let's look up the Rupingwoods and… Aye, here we are. Irena Flint married an Arkon Rupingwood… she would be your third great grandmother, dear."

Lana laughed and grinned at Shara. "So that makes us… what? 13th cousins 8 times removed?"

Grandmother rolled her eyes. "I hear you're to be much more closely related soon. Caught up with Marlon's little brother at a wedding ceremony a year ago? Hmm?"

Shara sobered. "Well, I don't know about that. Last time we spoke, we argued and maybe he's changed his mind. If he's no longer interested then, I don't think…"

Grandmother and Lana shared a look and Grandmother gave her a sly wink. "Good riddance, I say! You're well shot of that Jamos Blackwell character. I've nothing against your Marlon, dear." She reached over to pat Lana's hand and Lana had to bite her tongue to stifle a laugh. "But that younger one…" Lady Flint clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Always sailing away from responsibility on that ship of his, probably has a girl in every port. Mark my words that one is trouble."

"Jamos isn't…" Shara attempted but the older lady didn't let her get a word in edgewise.

"She'd be so much better off with one of your cousins, Lana. Don't you think?"

"That may be." Lana agreed, trying to keep a straight face.

Shara gaped at her friend.

Grandmother went back to flipping through her records. "Your cousin Marton could be a good match." She glanced up at Shara and shook her head. "Though maybe a little too young." Then she turned to another record and raised her eyebrows. "It's high time for Hugo to remarry…"

Shara nearly choked.

"She means my cousin Hugo Flint." Lana rolled her eyes. "Grandmother, she doesn't want a widower. What about cousin Cade? He was always fun when we were kids."

"No, not Cade. I'm afraid he was married last year. It was the same week you all hosted the wedding here for the pub owner's son and oh… what's her name, my great niece."

"Maris." Shara supplied with a tight frown. She couldn't believe Lana was going along with this.

"Aye, that's the one, Maris." Grandmother smiled. "But it is a shame about Cade already being taken. He's quite the looker. Can you imagine the babies, with Shara's fair hair and Cade Flint's eyes? His mother was a Kretash, you know."

Shara couldn't take this much longer.

But Grandmother Flint was still in full flow. "And all of them beast masters like Shara here. Of course I haven't done the calculations but one can only assume."

Lana must have noticed how close Shara was to exploding so she turned the topic away a bit. "You don't know if this one will be a beast master?" She patted her big belly.

"No," the older lady looked over her notes again. "According to my calculations, and you know I am very seldom wrong about these things, it will be your third who expresses the rare affinity with animals."

Lana smiled. "Oh so we'll be having another one?"

"You're a Flint, my dear, of course you'll be having another one. Now Shara, with her beast rider background will…"

"I don't want to marry anyone else!" Shara burst out suddenly. "I love Jamos!" She took a breath and tried to calm herself. "And he loves me. When - when he gets back we'll talk, we'll work through this and if we can't, then…"

"You will." Grandmother Flint reached out and gave the girl's hand a squeeze. Her smile was kind and sincere. "Just glad you said something before I started working on betrothing you to one of my grandsons."

Shara blushed. "Thank you, Grandmother."

…

Jamos paced the deck. The hypothesis had been forming in his mind for the last few days as the Polaris sailed towards home. Marlon had told him that Lana said she was fine. Shara said the same thing. But there were odd deliveries being shipped to the midwife. And Shara had been attending all of Lana's appointments along with her. Or had she? What if it was the other way around? Marlon seemed to think that Shara wanted to learn how to be a midwife but she'd never even mentioned the profession to him.

Lana wouldn't lie to his brother unless she was covering up for someone else. For Shara? Did Shara have some other reason for visiting the midwife?

He couldn't believe she was pregnant. They had never had the opportunity to even let that be a possibility. And even if she was angry with him now he was absolutely sure she hadn't been with anyone else.

But then all that testing equipment. Was something wrong? Was it something that happened to her while she was with that huttspawn? Had he been so angry that she had never given him a child that he had done something to her that made it impossible for her to have a child with anyone else?

Jamos seethed. Would the shadow of that dark era of her history follow them for the rest of their lives? He had thought they had put all that behind them when the annulment documents had finally been signed. But now… what if there were some lasting remnant?

By the time the Polaris finally pulled into Blackhold harbor Jamos's imagination had him fearing the worst and then another annoying distraction loomed before his bow. The Flint banners marked the ship as friendly but frustratingly between Jamos and his goal. And then thankfully he saw through his macrobinoculars that the ship was preparing to leave.

Wyman Flint smiled from his own deck and raised a hand in greeting as the two ships passed each other. Jamos managed a curt nod to the other captain. And then finally they were pulling into the dock and the gangplank was lowered. Jamos was down it almost before it thudded into place. He trusted his crew to do the necessary jobs that accompanied the end of a journey.

They were all there. Lana now as big as a holdfast was smiling and Marlon beside her as if he didn't have a care in the world. So much for the urgent worry over his unborn child.

And then he saw Shara. Her expression was more hesitant. His gaze traveled over her as he rushed up to the dock but it wasn't easy to tell anything as she was wrapped in a heavy cloak to guard against the chill wind. Jamos didn't even feel the cold.

When he reached her he touched her cheek and nearly wept when she leaned against his hand. "I've missed you, Jamos." She whispered.

"Are you alright?" He asked cupping her other cheek and looking her in the eyes.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I…"

"The tests, they weren't for Lana, were they?"

Shara shook her head and glanced back towards the others.

Marlon was already leading his wife and daughter back towards the Hold. Lana gave Shara a nod and then they were left alone.

"I didn't mean to shut you out. I only wanted to have some answers before I bothered you with…"

"You know I'd never want you to worry over anything on your own."

She bowed her head and then looked back up into his eyes. "I understand that now."

"Then, salt gods, what is it?" He cried impatiently before settling again into the indignation of his suspicions. "Did he hurt you? When you were with him, did he do something that made you…"

"No." She assured him quickly. "I thought perhaps the reason I could never… I thought there might be something wrong with me because of the sickness I had when I was little."

"Oh Shar," he pulled her into a hug. "You didn't do all this because of what I said? I would never force you to have kids just because I think it might be great to have a little one like Dalla. I mean we're godparents, right? And we've got Portia. I mean… what I'm trying to say is…" he held her back to arm's length again to look her in the eye. "There is nothing wrong with you." He grinned. "At least not from where I'm standing."

She smiled. "It wasn't pressure from you that made me want to do the tests, Jamos." It felt so good to be honest with him that her eyes misted a little with happy tears. "I love sharing responsibility of Portia with you and I've loved that we could teach Dalla to swim together." She wove her fingers together with his. "I'd like more than anything to experience having a family with you."

Jamos rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "Then please let me experience this part of the process with you too."

"Aye." She agreed with a sniff. Then she swallowed and gazed up at him with a smile. "It's all looking good so far. There are a few more results that we're waiting for, but Grandmother Flint was just here and she said there was a southern cousin she knew of who had the Dalgos Flu like I did and they just had their sixth. I don't know about six and I don't know if we'll even want to start right away even if we find out nothing's wrong," she rambled. "Maris had the hypo so she and Ness could just enjoy being the two of them for a while and while I really don't want to get the hypo, not with all the other shots I've had lately, and I really wouldn't mind so much if it accidentally happened right away…"

She took a breath and smiled at the way he was gazing at her. Then she began again a little slower with a blush in her cheeks "With everything I've learned from Niamh about how and when to try… I kind of have an idea now of when and how we could … avoid…"

"We can wait as long as you want." Jamos vowed. "And I promise I can be totally hands off when we need to… avoid."

"Well, not totally hands off." She blushed even brighter red with the tone of her own teasing. "I don't think hands are exactly the problem."

He laughed, pulled her close once again, and swung her around. "I love you, Shara!"

…

Yay! They're finally being honest with each other! And LS and I honestly love reviews! Thanks for yours Starwarshobbitfics and thanks everybody for reading!