Hey folks! Lauren finds herself reminded of an old idea, which stirs her ever-present, ever-daring scientific curiosity. Hope you enjoy!
PS. I'd like to take a moment to thank you all so much for your reviews! I enjoy reading your theories on how the story will unfold and I absolutely love hearing which parts you liked in particular – the more detailed, the better! That being said, reviewer SN (much love to you, too!) had a few questions, which have arisen before, so here are some answers:
1) What happens next? – You already know, what I'm going to say, don't you? I'm not giving away anything; afraid, you'll just have to wait and see.
2) Can I recommend other fics to you? – Definitely! Best would be active authors, because I've read pretty much all the old stuff at this point. However, the recommended story should be complete, as I've found that I don't do well with having no ending.
3) I have this idea; would you like to hear it and turn it into a story? – While I truly appreciate your trust, I'm afraid inspiration doesn't work like that for me. But if you want my advice, go ahead and try it yourself! A great idea is already half the battle, and you can always go slow – try writing a bit of dialog or a description of a room; eventually, the words may just come pouring out, and we'll all have a new Doccubus writer!
Last, not least, I'd like to give a heartfelt message to a reviewer, whom I can't get a hold of otherwise: GuestL, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for your always kind, encouraging, positive, and funny reviews. They never fail to make me smile and I just needed this said :)
PPS. I'm still on Twitter (roxkitten) and IG (r0xkitten), in case any of you want to have a chat.
Chapter 14 – Memories
The weeks went by and Bo and Lauren were in girlfriend heaven. The brunette had told her and Emily about her nature as much as she felt safe with and dodged their more dangerous questions as to hold true to her agreement with Théa. She hadn't mentioned the fae nor the reasons why she'd stumbled into their lives, and for now, both Lauren and her friend seemed to be content. Life was good, and Bo relished in their blissful togetherness.
As did Lauren. It had taken her some time to come to terms with the fact that Bo's succubus nature forbade her to feed exclusively from her, but eventually, after long talks with both Bo and Emily, she'd overcome her issues. The succubus' heart belonged to Lauren alone, who saw no reason to mistrust her. Besides, she was enjoying their fluffy pink bubble of bliss too much to ponder about relationship issues that may or may not arise in the distant future. Before Bo, Lauren hadn't even noticed, how much she craved an intimate relationship based on true love, so for once, she allowed herself to shamelessly bask in her own happiness. It felt good. She felt good.
Which was, not least, due to the fact that sex with Bo was of out of this world. So much so that lately, the couple spent virtually all their free-time at the brunette's apartment, making out and doing it non-stop, to the point where Emily and Jo complained that they never saw them anymore. Which was no doubt a more than accurate description of the current situation. Both Bo and Lauren had a bad conscience about it, but for now, the relationship was still fresh enough to get away with neglecting their friends, occasionally making up for it with small gifts from Emily's favourite tech gadget shop or the Cosy Corner.
On a Friday morning in August, Lauren woke up to bright sunlight seeping through closed blinds. She squinted, taking a moment to remember, where she was… Bo's bedroom. With a wide grin, she reached out to check the mattress next to her, but her girlfriend wasn't there. A second later, clattering of porcelain against metal from the next room reached her ears, and she smiled and kicked away the blanket to luxuriously stretch her body. She felt a little achy, but not in a bad way. Bo had given her some chi last night to intensify her orgasm, which had healed most of the small sores that great sex tended to leave behind. Lauren's grin grew even wider, and she closed her eyes, thinking back to the past evening… when Bo's muffled voice ripped her from her reverie.
"Ow! Goddammit!", she shouted from the other side of the bedroom wall.
Lauren sat up, frowning at the door, pondering for a second, whether she should run to Bo's aid or if that would be a bit of an overreaction. The brunette hadn't sounded like she'd given herself any major injuries and Lauren didn't want to come across as overprotective. On the other hand, she was a doctor and not going out there kind of went against her nature. With a shrug, she swung her legs out of bed, quickly threw on some underwear and a threadbare old shirt from Bo's drawer and opened the door, peeking her head through the gap to see if her girlfriend was indeed still breathing.
The brunette was standing in the small kitchen, looking a little lost, as she was clutching her left hand in the other.
"Bo? Are you alright?", Lauren asked and opened the door to step outside, hastily joining Bo in the kitchenette, which, strictly speaking, wasn't an actual room, but more like a niche beside the living room.
"Yeah", the brunette mumbled, although her cranky tone told another story. She turned to look at Lauren, and her mouth showed an adorable little pout.
Inwardly, the blonde breathed a sigh of relief. Generally, patients with severe injuries didn't have the capacity to sulk, so it couldn't be all that bad.
"I wanted to make you breakfast in bed and cut myself… did I wake you?", Bo asked, her crankiness giving way to concern.
"Actually, I woke up about a minute before your little outburst", Lauren replied with a headshake and reached out to check on Bo's wound. "Here, let me see, honey."
With the faith of a child, the brunette held out her hand, and Lauren immediately entered doctor mode, carefully inspecting Bo's forefinger. The cut was pretty nasty and bled like hell. Gently, Lauren guided her girlfriend to the sink, so they didn't make a mess on the floor, and grabbed a kitchen towel to cover the wound. She was about to run and fetch the bag she'd brought to take to the lab later, when she stopped dead in her tracks and turned back around, finding herself face to face with a smirking brunette. Lauren mirrored Bo's cheeky grin. She'd been so distracted by her doctor persona that for a second, she'd forgotten that Bo wasn't like other people. No, her girlfriend was a succubus… a fact, which came with certain benefits.
She sauntered back to Bo, her smile turning predatory. "My poor, injured baby", she purred in a low voice, hovering her face right in front of Bo's.
"Yeah", Bo affirmed breathily. She'd meant for her voice to sound seductive and pouty, but the anticipation made it come out as a bit of a squeak instead. Her eyes fluttered down to the blonde's lips, and she repositioned to stand with her back against the kitchen counter, mobilising her last functioning braincell to make sure that her bleeding finger remained above the sink.
Lauren's hands were all over Bo, wandering up and down her sides, as she smiled against her girlfriend's lips. With a satisfied hum, she acknowledged that the brunette wasn't wearing anything underneath her favourite red kimono, which was quickly becoming Lauren's favourite as well. "It's a good thing that your girlfriend is an excellent doctor", she said, grasping the waistband to undo the knot holding it in place.
"Mmh, lucky me", Bo replied and gasped when Lauren's hands found both her breasts, squeezing them and caressing her nipples. With her good hand, she grabbed the blonde's head and pulled her in for a greedy kiss, coaxing a moan from both of them.
Lauren didn't make her wait for long – after all, this was an emergency. As her mouth kept on exploring the succubus', she abandoned one breast and moved her hand further south, quickly finding Bo's slit and spreading her wide open to circle her clit. With a small cry of pleasure, Bo started grinding into her fingers.
"Fuck me, baby", she demanded between kisses, and the blonde complied, immediately pushing two fingers into her, as her other hand was busy pinching a nipple. Bo's breathing grew heavier. Greedily, she met each one of Lauren's thrusts, simultaneously rubbing herself against the pad of her hand, relishing in the wet noises they were creating.
When Lauren noticed Bo's body growing stiff, she upped the pace, slamming into her as fast as she could, now using her other hand to treat her clit to intense strokes. The brunette started shaking, and they broke the kiss, staring into each other's eyes as Bo's orgasm approached fast. Brown eyes met blue, and Lauren growled.
"Feed", she commanded, and Bo didn't protest. Over the last weeks, they'd practised feeding in the smallest amounts and found a pace that worked for them. The succubus came forth to take the first gulp, making Lauren shudder. "Fuck, yes", she whimpered. As always, she felt elated and incredibly happy, which in turn gave her the energy to go even faster.
Bo was close now, and feeling Lauren work her magic between her legs never failed to increase her arousal. But seeing her beautiful face beaming with euphoria was what sent her over the edge. "Lauren, baby…", she whimpered as she felt her inner walls twitch. "You're gonna make me come."
"Yes, baby", Lauren cried, too enveloped in their shared trance to utter anything more elaborate. "Yes, yes, yes…" Her hands and fingers were moving on autopilot, and it was as if she was working her own clit. Bo's feeds never failed to turn her on, and this morning was no exception. Bo was coming, and so was Lauren.
"Lauren… Lauren… Laur-AHHH!", Bo exclaimed, and the blonde kept on fucking and caressing her, as she moaned and groaned and whimpered all through her own climax.
"Wow", she panted when she felt like she could talk again. "Wow…"
Bo grinned. "Oh, yeah."
"Fuck, that feels so goddamn good", Lauren added passionately, locking her girlfriend's lips in a fierce kiss. They held onto each other, and the kiss went on and on.
When they parted, Bo pushed a few blond strands behind Lauren's ear and gave her a cheeky grin. "So, I take it, it's a good thing that your girlfriend is a succubus, hm?"
"An excellent succubus", Lauren corrected, mirroring her girlfriend's grin, before softening her expression into a gentler one. "Thank you, by the way. For making me breakfast." She nodded at a bowl containing pieces of fresh fruit mixed with yoghurt, and a plate with some toast and scrambled eggs.
Bo smiled warmly. "Anything for you, my love", she said and turned her head to look at her formerly wounded finger, which was now as good as new. Only a few splotches of drying blood spoke of what had happened a few minutes ago, and she wiggled it happily in front of the doctor's face. "I better clean up this mess, before hitting the shower", she said with an apologetic expression. "I don't have much time before I have to be at work."
Lauren shook her head and loosened her grip on Bo's hips. "Let me take care of that. You already heroically made me breakfast; the least I can do is remove the ensuing bloodbath", she added with a wink.
That earned her a chuckle and a kiss on the nose, before Bo went to the bathroom.
With a lovestruck grin, Lauren watched her walk away until the door closed, and then focussed back on the kitchen. Her breakfast was almost complete, ready for her to devour, as Bo had apparently managed to keep her finger intact until cutting up the very last apple slice. Quickly, Lauren moved the plates to the living room table, where she would soon enjoy her meal, when her gaze got caught on her bag.
The bag containing her lab equipment.
She bit her lip and looked over her shoulder to the sink, that was still covered in blood stains. Bo's blood. The blood of a succubus. A creature that wasn't supposed to exist outside of legends and fairy tales. A super-human…
A superhero. Emily's words from weeks ago came back to Lauren. The notion wasn't as fallacious as it sounded, even to her scientist side. Bo's superpowers were a fact. She was able to make others do whatever she wanted by mere touch, could heal herself like it was nothing, and gave Lauren the most amazing orgasms she'd ever experienced in her life… Okay, that last one wasn't a superpower, strictly speaking, but it was still pretty super.
What made Bo into a real-life superhero, however, was the fact that she couldn't just heal herself, but others, too. Such power was unimaginable, both in a good and a bad way, because of course, Bo couldn't only give life energy, but just as easily take it. Which meant that in the wrong hands, the succubus could be… no, would no doubt be abused as a weapon. But Lauren couldn't help but imagine all the good her girlfriend's abilities might do in this world. She craved to get to the bottom of her super-human nature… to study her, at least a little bit. There was no harm in a tiny amount of curiosity, right?
Right. But you're about to lie to her about it.
Lauren sighed. Her subconscious wasn't entirely wrong, but not entirely right either. Technically, she wasn't lying to Bo – she just wanted to take some blood samples. It wasn't like she was planning on creating an army of succubus clones to serve her every whim. Lauren quietly snorted to herself. Yeah, like anyone would dare to do that – she already had her hands plenty full with just one succubus, thank you very much.
While her brain was busy going through all the pros and cons of conducting tests on Bo's blood in secret, Lauren's hands moved on autopilot, and just a few minutes later, she'd taken several samples without even noticing. Snapping out of her inner debate, she took a moment to realise, what she'd done. For a while, she stood there, open-mouthed, eyeing the reddened cotton tips in her hands, equally fascinated and incredulous at her behaviour. Then, she heard a noise from the bathroom and remembered that Bo was still right next door. With a small shrug, she quickly put the swabs in clear plastic pouches and proceeded to stow them in her lab bag.
As soon as they were out of sight and the kitchen counter rinsed and cleaned, she felt a little more self-assured. At this point, those cotton buds were nothing but samples. She could always throw them out in case she had a change of heart upon her arrival at the lab. She was one of the good guys, she reminded herself – a good scientist and doctor. Her intentions were pure and totally in line with the ethics of her field, so for now, there was no need to tell the succubus about this. All Lauren possibly planned to do were some innocent little tests to satisfy her curiosity. No need to get worked up about it.
Besides… there was also something else. An ancient idea, newly resurfacing in the very back of Lauren's mind. Lost in thought, she walked over to the sofa and sat down to take a piece of fruit. With a concentrated frown, she chewed and closed her eyes, taking the time to try and focus on the sweet taste alone. The coolness of it created a pleasant feeling in her throat, but it seemed her mind wouldn't let her enjoy her meal in peace.
The recent revelation of Bo's succubus nature, combined with Emily's talk of superheroes had reawakened not only one, but several ancient memories. Initially, Lauren couldn't quite make sense of the fragmented images and impressions of her past, as they must've got buried somewhere along the line. But now, they were re-emerging. And the more of these memories returned, the more she realised that her newly developed curiosity about the succubus' blood had at least as much to do with Bo as it did with Lauren herself…
XXX
17 years ago…
"Mummy, come here, quick! Help, help!"
Immediately, Diane Beattie dropped the knife she was using to chop up some vegetables and rushed outside into the backyard. Her daughter was standing there, near the hedge enclosing the large garden behind the Beattie homestead. The girl was impatiently shifting from one leg to the other, clutching the seam of her flowery summer dress. The fabric was covered in mud and grass stains, but Diane didn't notice over her little one's light brown eyes swimming with tears, as she faced her.
"Honey, what is it?", the woman asked quietly, kneeling down next to her crying child in order to inspect her for any injuries. "Are you hurt?"
"No, but…" Instinctively, Lauren's* arms wrapped around her mother's neck, and she started sobbing uncontrollably.
"Shh, it's going to be okay, my love." Diane held her close, soothingly rubbing her back. It hurt to see her daughter this heartbroken, but she was confident that all was indeed going to be okay. Still, Lauren didn't cry often, so when she did, it usually meant that something had particularly upset her and Diane was determined to help her kid overcome whatever tragedy she was dealing with.
Luckily, her mum's embrace never failed to soothe even the worst of Lauren's moments, and the sobbing soon ebbed away.
"Now, can you tell me, why you cried?", Diane asked, grabbing a tissue from her pocket to tentatively clean her daughter's cheeks and running nose, and combing her fingers through dishevelled blond hair.
Lauren nodded with trembling lips and incredibly sad eyes. She turned her head to point at the ground right behind her. "She's dead, mum", she informed her mother with a tremor in her voice. "I was too late. She's dead."
With a frown, Diane let go of her child to get a good look over her shoulder. "Oh", she said, when she saw the reason for Lauren's distress. Among leaves and small twigs lay a tiny little bird, wings spread out wide to both sides, and its head bent in an unnatural way.
"Kirk got to her before I could, and now… she's just dead. Just dead."
Diane leaned back to rest her behind on her heels and wiped a stray tear off her little angel's cheek. Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest. Sometimes, she wondered, how much a mother could possibly love her offspring, but Lauren surprised her every day. She was an incredibly curious child, interested in virtually everything the world had to offer, and a never-ending fountain of questions, which her mum and dad tried to answer the best they could.
"He can't help it, you know that, don't you?", she asked, referring to their cat – the alleged culprit in the present case of the murdered bird. "It's in Kirk's nature to hunt little animals."
Lauren nodded vigorously. "I don't blame him", she hurried to assure her mother. "But… I'm still so sad, mum."
"I'm sorry, darling. I know it's tragic. I'm very sad, too."
"Really?"
"Really, really." For the first time since she'd rushed to her daughter's aid, Diane saw the ghost of a smile appear on Lauren's puffy, tear-stained face. "But I know, how we can make sure that she'll go to bird heaven, where she'll find loads of new friends, and where neither Kirk nor any cat can ever reach her."
"Oh", Lauren said, her interest instantly piqued. "How?", she whispered, as if her mother was about to reveal humanity's best-guarded secret.
Diane bent down and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "We'll give her a proper burial. Right here, in our garden."
Lauren's eyes sparkled. "Oh", she repeated. Not the incredible secret she'd hoped for, but an excellent idea nonetheless. "Yes, please."
"Come on inside, my love", her mother said, getting up and holding out her hand. "Let's get you cleaned up and fetch a shovel from the garage. And then, we'll lock the bad boy Kirk in the house and have a lovely little ceremony for Birdie here. How does that sound?"
"Awesome!", Lauren said, feeling a lot cheerier than ten minutes ago. Her mum always had an answer for difficult situations, and she really, really loved her.
Much later that night, when the girl was alone in her room, lying in bed, she thought of Birdie the little bird, who now peacefully rested in a cardboard box deep in the ground, right where Kirk had got to her. Mum had even made a tiny headstone, in the shape of a piece of wood nailed to a stick, which read:
Here lies Birdie
198? – 1987
Lauren sighed. She really was happy with everything her mum had done – like the burial and the little ceremony they'd had in the afternoon. She'd suggested to her daughter to say a few words in honour of the deceased bird, and Lauren had written and recited a short poem. Afterwards, they'd had pancakes with apple sauce – Lauren's favourite food in the whole wide world – and then they'd snuggled up in a cosy blanket to watch Star Trek III. She'd even given Kirk a few cuddles when he joined them on the sofa, even though she hadn't fully forgiven his crime quite yet. He was her cat though, and she couldn't stay mad at him for too long. But no amount of forgiveness would ever bring Birdie back.
A tear snuck out, rolling down Lauren's cheek, and she sniffled. She didn't really understand, why the death of this particular bird hit her so hard. She was only six, but she was very smart and had figured out quite some time ago, how nature worked. It was just like her mum had said – Kirk couldn't help chasing after little animals, even though his feeding dish was always waiting for him in the kitchen. Predators hunted and killed other animals. That's just, how it was. But for some reason, Birdie was special.
Lauren grabbed one of her stuffed animals and tucked up her legs, pressing the teddy bear between knees and chest. Then, she buried her face in its soft fur and started crying quietly for little Birdie.
She was about to fall asleep, exhausted from all the sadness and events of the day, when she felt something soft brush against her face. She didn't look up – she'd probably only imagined it anyway – but the gentle ghost of a touch to her cheek lifted her spirit and made her feel better. Seconds later, she fell into a deep slumber.
14 years ago…
"What did he do, my love?" Roger was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, dabbing at his daughter's many scrapes. He knew they must sting like hell, but the girl didn't bat an eye. When she'd arrived at home about an hour ago, her jeans and t-shirt had been covered in muddy stains, her hair had some debris and leaves stuck in it, and her elbows and face had been laced with quickly reddening wounds. But all he'd got out of his daughter until now was that Jimmy, one of her classmates, had told her something hurtful.
"Promise me that you won't go to his parents", Lauren said, instead of giving an answer.
Roger sighed. "If he's the one, who caused all these scrapes, I'll have to do something, baby. I can't just let something like this slide."
Lauren huffed and grimaced at a particularly intense sting. "Fine", she said. "If he tries something again, I'll just punch his stupid face."
Her father winced. He wasn't used to his gentle little girl uttering aggressive statements like that. She was friendly to everyone and always preferred the verbal approach to open conflicts. Which gave Roger confidence that Lauren didn't really mean what she'd just said, so he chose to leave it uncommented. "Please tell me, what he did, honey", he repeated his earlier request.
Lauren's angry stance faltered, and she slumped a little, before taking hold of her father's wrist to interrupt the wound treatment. Suddenly, tears were stinging in her eyes, and she let out a sob, which turned into another and another.
All of a sudden, the floodgates opened, and Roger immediately reacted, pulling the girl into his lap and cradling her in his arms to gently rock her back and forth, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief, because she was finally ready to talk. "Shh, baby, we'll figure this out, I promise."
And Lauren believed him, because somehow, he always managed to find the right words to make things better. Both of her parents did. Even though they weren't her biological parents… Which was what Jimmy had somehow found out about and thrown in her face earlier today.
"He followed me home after school", Lauren stated in a quiet voice, when the tears had ebbed away. "I think he was mad at me, because I knew something in class he didn't."
Roger closed his eyes, already struggling for patience with the boy, and hugged his little girl a little tighter. He had a hunch of how the rest of Lauren's story would go, but didn't interrupt.
"I knew right from the start of term that he was going to be trouble, but I refuse to let him intimidate me", she announced passionately, tightening her grip on her dad's shirt, and Roger smiled into her hair. He was proud of how brave his baby girl was, but even more so, she was smart… very smart. Her parents had pondered for a long time, whether they really wanted their daughter to go through the stress of skipping several grades and consequently being constantly surrounded by older kids. But Lauren had been getting increasingly bored at school, so in the end, they'd asked her and she'd excitedly agreed. And while most of said older kids were cool, as Lauren kept assuring her parents – her charm and wits had even won her some friends – of course, there always had to be at least one troublemaker. And this year, his name was Jimmy. The boy would get an earful from both Roger and Diane, that much was already clear to Lauren's dad. But he needed a few more details, before he could take care of the situation in a way that Jimmy would leave his daughter alone once and for all.
"He waited until I left the schoolyard, where none of the teachers could see him and then came running up to me", Lauren continued, her voice now firmer and back to defiant. "At first, he just made fun of my hair and my clothes, but I told him to get lost." She sniffled, and Roger handed her a piece of toilet paper, so she could blow her nose. "I told him you'd punch his stupid face if he didn't stop bullying me." The confession came out as a whisper, and Lauren slowly, carefully looked up to meet her dad's eyes. "I'm sorry, dad. I know you wouldn't do that, but he was so annoying and mean, and I didn't know, how else to get rid of him."
Roger smiled down at her and wiped a tear off her face. "I know, baby. I understand."
Relieved, Lauren snuggled into his chest. "It didn't even work anyway", she said with a frustrated huff. "And then…" She paused to take a deep breath, bracing herself for her next words. "Then he laughed in a really evil way and said he knew I was lying, and there's no way you'd do that for me, because you're not even my real dad and that I don't have a real home because you're not my real parents and, and…"
"Hey…", Roger interrupted her rambling in the gentlest voice he could muster given that he was seething on the inside. The nerve of that little snot-nosed brat!
It wasn't that Lauren didn't know Roger and Diane weren't her biological parents – on the contrary! They'd quickly caught on to the fact that their little girl was exceptionally intelligent and therefore decided to explain to her at the tender age of four, what an adoption was and why people did it – in their case, because they couldn't have any children of their own…
At least that's what they'd thought, until they found out that Diane had unexpectedly fallen pregnant with Lauren's brother Arthur four months prior to finalising the adoption process – a miracle in her doctor's eyes, and a curious one at that, because due to the unusual timing, Arthur was only six months younger than his big sister.
"You know that's not true though, don't you, baby? We love you so much, and this home is yours as much as it is mum's and Arthur's and mine", he reminded her, leaning back to look into Lauren's eyes, hoping that his gaze would convey the truth behind his words.
"I do!", she said confidently and without hesitation. "And I wanted to tell him just that. I stopped to face him, but I didn't realise, how close he was on my heel, and he bumped into me. He pushed me away, on reflex, I think, and I landed in the flowerbed outside the schoolyard… the one with the thorny hedge. That's why I'm all scratched and dirty." She sighed and lifted her left hand, which sported a particularly nasty abrasion. "I'm pretty sure, this part wasn't what he intended, you know. But once I got back on my feet, he'd already run off…"
"Little coward", they both said at the same time and exchanged a conspiratorial smile.
Later that night, when Lauren was in bed, cleaned and patched up, she thought back to Jimmy's hurtful words. It didn't matter much that he was the one who'd uttered them. He was just an idiot, who didn't know what the hell he was talking about. No, what bothered Lauren was that what he said had been this powerful. She knew that her home was warm and welcoming; knew that her parents loved her, probably a lot more than poor Jimmy's parents loved him, if he felt the need to bully other kids all the time.
So, why on earth couldn't she let go of this?
"I know they love me, I know it", she informed the little unicorn soft toy next to her. "And I really love them. Who cares that mum didn't give birth to me?" The unicorn didn't have an answer, and Lauren sighed sadly and closed her eyes. Sleeping was probably a good idea. Maybe, her head would be clearer in the morning.
Two tears silently trickled down her face.
Then, something curious happened. Something that wasn't entirely new, but didn't exactly occur often either. A soft brush against her cheek, like the touch of a ghost, but not scary – on the contrary. It was gentle and soothing. And warm. It made her happy.
Lauren kept her eyes closed, because she had a hunch that if she opened them, the touch would disappear, and tonight, she wasn't ready to let go of her ghostly friend quite yet.
Some minutes later, she fell asleep with a grateful smile.
9 years ago…
Lauren was lying in bed, clutching the fabric of her shirt, as if she could squeeze out the unbearable sadness festering within her heart. She'd pulled herself together all afternoon in front of her brother and parents, unable to share with them quite yet, what had occurred earlier at school. For now, she needed to be alone. She needed to cry and listen to sad songs and block out everything that other people may consider beautiful in this world. Because as far as Lauren was concerned, there wasn't any of it left. As the only thing worth noticing in this whole world was now unreachable to her…
Kara.
The most beautiful girl Lauren had ever seen, with long, dark hair, a fair complexion, an incredibly beautiful smile… and a couple of really, really magnificent boobs. At seventeen, she was also much older than Lauren. And while three years may be next to nothing in the world of adults, to teenagers, the age difference was immense.
The worst part was that Kara hadn't even been mean about it. Maybe if she had been, the heartbroken girl could've just resorted to being mad at her for being a homophobic jerk and moved on without giving her a second thought. But unfortunately, Kara wasn't only beautiful and exceptionally smart, but also warm and understanding. It had taken all of Lauren's courage to seek her out this afternoon and confess her feelings to the brunette, and Kara had been nothing but gentle. But fact remained that she didn't reciprocate Lauren's love.
Love…
Curious feeling, wasn't it? It was supposed to be amazing and magical. Something virtually every human craved. It was about romantic gestures, stolen kisses and utter bliss – at least if one could believe the love flicks on TV. And Lauren wanted to believe them. She dreamed of having a person in her life, who she loved so much that she needed no-one else. Of course, she loved her parents and brother dearly. But she wanted the kind of love that gave her butterflies in her stomach. Heartthrob. Jelly legs. The whole nine yards of love clichés. Plus, she was so curious about sex. She'd figured out at quite an early age how to give herself orgasms, so she knew they felt amazing… But she couldn't help but wonder, how much better they might be if experienced with a person she was in love with.
Like Kara. She'd wanted her first to be Kara so badly. She wanted to feel her soft lips on hers… maybe even get a taste of her tongue. Lauren closed her eyes and moved her fingertips to her mouth, imagining that it was Kara touching her. But no fantasy image could erase the events of this afternoon. Lauren squeezed her eyes shut even harder and sniffled as a few tears and a desperate sob escaped. Love probably really was everything films and TV shows made it to be. Just not this particular love she was feeling. Because combined with rejection, it hurt like hell…
"Meow."
The door to her room – up until just now only slightly ajar – silently opened a crack further, interrupting Lauren's train of thoughts. She watched as the tip of Kirk's red striped tail bounced up and down beyond the mattress, then disappeared for a second, before the cat jumped to join her on the bed. With a huff, she turned her back to him… and regretted it instantly. She didn't know, what to feel right now, it was all too much. On the one hand, she was grateful for his presence – no doubt because he, unlike her parents and brother, had immediately seen through her brave façade, and decided to join her and give her comfort. But she also needed some space and alone time.
Ugh, why was she feeling all these conflicting feelings, all at once? She was in love, but she was also sad and anxious and angry… how did all this even fit together? Man, love just… sucked.
A notion, which Kirk didn't seem to share. Apparently, he wasn't even bothered by her cold-shoulder treatment. With tentative little steps, he came closer, until he was right behind her, unceremoniously planting his butt on the mattress and repeating his previous meow. A little louder this time.
"Leave me alone", Lauren whispered, her voice hoarse from crying. She grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it, letting her tears flow freely.
Kirk, of course, did no such thing. But he wasn't intrusive either. Instead, he went with a compromise and proceeded to snuggle up in the small space behind Lauren's bent knees, making sure that his head and one paw were resting on her upper leg. His touch was warm and full of affection, and Lauren sobbed even harder. Her hand wandered downwards, searching for his soft fur, and found him. The contact was both consoling and overwhelming, but she was too heartbroken to be able to process the why and how right now. So, instead, she just let it happen.
Later, she didn't remember, how long she'd been lying there, sometimes silently crying, sometimes sobbing uncontrollably. Could've been one hour, maybe two? Kirk never left her side, quietly dozing the entire time, eventually moving from the spot behind her legs to the small corner between her thighs and belly when she turned around. It did feel good, having him here. It didn't make the heartache go away, but at least it eased Lauren's crazy mix of conflicting emotions, leaving her with the more bearable amount of only one – complete and utter sadness.
When evening turned into night, she'd cried herself into exhaustion. Sleep was finally creeping up on her, a merciful friend passing by to relieve her of this pain for at least a few hours. Her sobs died down, turning into hitched breaths and eventually growing calmer.
She was about to drift off, when she felt it…
A sensation so rare and yet so familiar that she recognised it instantly: A ghostly hand, softly touching her cheek. At first, she just silently enjoyed, as she always did. She wanted her invisible friend to stay. Over the years, nothing had ever managed to comfort her quite as effectively in her darkest hours – not even her mum's embrace.
But tonight, for the first time ever, Lauren felt the strong desire to know more about what was happening.
"I know you", she whispered. The warm caress paused for a second, but didn't disappear. "Thank you for always being here for me." The ghost caressed her once more, almost like they were giving her an answer… maybe a You're welcome.
Then, they were gone. Lauren opened her eyes and laboriously lifted her aching head. She was met with Kirk's curious gaze. His ears were attentively propped up, and he was busy looking around the room and then back at her.
"You felt it, too, didn't you?", she asked him.
Instead of answering, he got up to nuzzle her face and give her nose a little cat kiss. Then, he curled up in a ball right below her chin and started purring.
Lauren smiled down at him and pressed her face into his fur. She was relieved to notice that she felt better. Still sad, when she thought of Kara, but no longer filled with hopeless despair. She touched her cheek, where the ghost had caressed her and put her arm around Kirk. Soon, exhaustion caught up with her and she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Present day…
Lauren was still sitting at the living room table, pensively eating her breakfast. About ten minutes ago, Bo had left for work in a rush after kissing her goodbye, and left the blonde alone with her thoughts. She was still convinced to have done the right thing by getting the samples, even though her subconscious didn't want to shut up about her questionable MO. But her conscience couldn't drown out the nagging urge pressuring her to re-evaluate the momentous significance of her previously suppressed memories.
For the umpteenth time since snatching those swabs and stuffing them in her bag, she thought back to the night, days after the funfair, when Bo had left her heartbroken and alone in the dark… back to the ghostly touch and the familiar old feeling of comfort and calm washing over her, immediately making her feel better. Right afterwards, she'd been too overwhelmed, too distracted by the urge to go talk to Emily, that there had been no space in her brain to process what exactly had happened. But the more she thought about it, the more certain she became that the ghosts from her past had returned… to give her comfort, just like they'd done all through her childhood.
Lauren inhaled deeply and let out the air in a long breath. Slowly, but surely, everything came back to her. Growing up, she'd experienced many of these encounters – usually, the ghosts would visit her when she was sad, but she'd also felt their presence in happy times. They had a tendency to appear randomly and out of nowhere, but they did appear repeatedly. Even Lauren's inner scientist couldn't deny this fact, because it had happened way too many times to be pure imagination.
"Hm", she hummed. It occurred to her that while the memories may be old, the circumstances had recently changed, and a long-lost idea reclaimed its place in her head… The idea that she possessed the power to sense the presence of ghosts. A superpower in her book – not as impressive as Bo's, because she couldn't control it – but a superpower nonetheless.
Her thoughts wandered back to many years ago, when she'd just started her training to become a doctor. She'd used all the equipment her school had in store – even asked around in the physics and chemistry departments, borrowed machines to analyse air composition – the whole shebang, just to get to the bottom of her mysterious ability. But all her tests had been inconclusive.
And then, everything had stopped abruptly, when she'd made the biggest mistake of her life. Fabricating those bombs for her brother had turned her into a fugitive, ripping her from her old environment and loved ones, and somewhere along the line, she'd simply forgotten about her ghosts.
Until now.
Bo's revelation had brought it all back. With the one crucial difference that this time, she knew for a fact that people with superpowers did exist. She'd clearly given up too soon before, and it was high time she started a new round of research.
The corners of her mouth twitched upwards and formed a tiny smile. She took the last bite of her delicious breakfast and got up to carry the empty plates to the sink. Suddenly, she felt giddy, her heart beating faster at the mere prospect of what her tests might find. The reawakening of her memories had re-ignited her enthusiasm, which in turn eased her bad conscience towards Bo to a bearable level. After all, she would eventually tell her everything. She only needed a little bit of time…
*I chose to stick with Lauren Beattie, instead of Karen, because… Well, to be frank, I never found the name fitting for her. Sue me ;)