BOAT ON THE SEA
Anybody shed a few tears while you read LS's last chapter? I know I did and you might want to hold on to the tissue box. I give you three scenes of northern couples and how they receive the news of current events. ~ DK
I never knew I
Was built so strong
My heart
My heart is a boat on the sea
I never thought I
Was built for hurricanes
My heart
My heart is a boat on the sea
In the cold and the dark
You're the grace of my heart
…
"Hey, Lil' Jay, this is Daddy." Her husband knelt and spoke to her still flat tummy. "Just wanted to let you know that you are going to love having a big brother. I've got one too. It's kind of our job to drive them crazy. But don't be too hard on Kase. He's a really cool kid and he's gonna teach you lots of great stuff. I know my big brother did." Jamos looked up at her and grinned.
Shara smiled.
He went back to his narration. "You've got some great cousins, too. Oh and Portia! She might look big and scary but she will never let you down. Porsh will always be there to protect you. And so will your mom and dad, kid. Salt gods, we love you already. So you go easy on your Momma. You hear me?"
"I don't know if he can, Jay." His wife laughed.
"Or her." He corrected. "And it's never too soon to tell our little one how much we love her."
"Or him." Shara argued back teasingly.
Niamh entered then and Jamos stood up and stepped out of her way so she could do her job. It was their first appointment and the second time parents couldn't be more excited.
"You sure we can't find out the gender this early?" Jamos asked the midwife.
"You hoping to go out and get some tiny new pink or blue fishing leathers?" she asked winking at Shara.
Jamos probably would do just that as soon as he knew for sure. "Just want to know what name to call her."
"Or him," Shara said again.
Niamh pulled on her gloves to get to work and began feeling around on Shara's stomach. "That time will come soon enough. I tell you, you'll be amazed how fast it seems to go this time around now that you already have one. Today I'm just going to ask some questions and get some measurements and then we'll see if we can find a heartbeat."
"Don't they say that a faster heartbeat means a girl?" Shara asked.
"I've heard that." Niamh nodded. "But it's not a sure method. Now when do you think…"
"10 weeks!" Shara answered before the midwife could finish the question. "Going by my last cycle and when I ovulated. He should be 10 weeks."
"Or she." Jamos whispered.
Shara grinned back at him.
"Alright then." Niamh pulled out the monitor and put it on Shara's belly.
Shara remembered all the times she'd been strapped to those monitors when she was pregnant with Kason. With her early labor scare she'd had appointments once a week for her entire third trimester. She had to lie there listening to his little heartbeat and all the times he got hiccups waiting to see if she'd start having contractions.
"I guess my third trimester will begin while it's still the high fishing season." Shara frowned. She knew her husband wouldn't want to be away on a voyage after what had happened with Kase.
"That's alright." Jamos squeezed her shoulder. "Marlon wants to get Dalla out on the water as much as possible this summer. Can you believe the little, Chirn Bait is going to be six this summer, Niamh?"
"It's pretty hard to believe." But Niamh wasn't smiling. She had moved the monitor around to several places on Shara's abdomen with no sound yet emanating from the speaker.
Shara looked up at her husband and then back at the midwife with worry in her eyes. "Is- is something wrong?"
"Little one is probably just in the wrong position." Niamh tried to assure her. She tried another spot, pressing a bit harder on Shara's stomach but still with no results. "You're sure the dates are right? Maybe you ovulated a little later this cycle."
"Maybe, I…" But she knew she hadn't. She threw a panicked glance at her husband and then stared at her stomach where Niamh was still pressing the monitor as if willing it to pick up something.
"Just being shy." Said Jamos with a nervous chuckle. "Aye, Niamh?"
After a few more minutes of trying the midwife sat back with a sigh. "I tell you what. Come back tomorrow. I'll set up the sonogram machine and we'll get a proper look. My guess is that your dates are a little off and you're not quite as far along as you thought."
"Aye." Jamos agreed hopefully. "That'll be it. And just think, Shar. We won't have to wait another 8 weeks before we get to see little Jay."
"Aye." Shara held back worried tears. "Alright. Tomorrow then."
…
"How did it go?" Lana asked a soon as they entered the door and she could instantly tell that something was amiss.
"We get to go back tomorrow for a sonogram." Jamos told her. "Isn't that right, Shar?"
"She had some trouble finding a heartbeat," Shara said flatly. "We're going to try to get a better look tomorrow."
Lana zipped to her sister-in-law's side. "Well, I never got but one sonogram each with Dalla and Thias. And here you get one right off the dock. We can watch Kase again if you want us to or…" She smiled at both of them. "You could take him with you. So he could have a first look at his little brother or sister."
"Oh I'm sure there won't be much for him to see. Especially if I'm… earlier than I thought." Shara made an attempt at a smile. "But it would be nice to have him there. Our whole family, together."
"Then we'll bring him along." Jamos pulled her into a hug and kissed her hair.
She couldn't eat that day. She was too nervous.
"Is that morning sickness finally coming around to bother you?" Jamos asked.
"Maybe that's it." But no. She hadn't been nauseous at all these past few weeks. She had thought maybe that meant she was having a girl this time since she'd been so queasy her first trimester with Kason. Now she wondered if it was a sign that something was wrong.
That night when they went to bed Jamos whispered to her, "Tomorrow we get to see our baby." And then he seemed to fall asleep easily. She stayed awake longer and then when she finally did fall asleep she had strange dreams.
The strangest featured her mother, just as she remembered her, with her dark hair hanging long over her shoulders and her beautiful face smiling. "Whatever happens tomorrow, it's going to be okay," Hadassa told her.
Shara wanted her mother to say more, to stay and tell her what was going to happen. Those few words, however, seemed to calm her so that she slept soundly the rest of the night.
"I dreamed about my mother last night." She told her husband as they dressed to go over to the midwife's office the next morning. "She said everything is going to be okay."
"Aye? Well there you go. Nothing to worry about." Jamos squeezed her shoulders encouragingly. "I bet she came to tell you because we're having a girl and she wants us to name the baby after her."
"Jamie Hadassa?" Shara said, unsure.
"Aye. Jamie Hadassa Blackwell." He smiled. "You ready to go see her."
"Aye." She nodded. "Let's go get Kase up."
…
"Well hey there big guy!" The midwife greeted Kason and his parents as they entered her office.
"Say hello to Ms. Niamh, Kase." Jamos and she chatted while Shara slipped into the refresher to change into a gown.
When she emerged the midwife had her climb onto the table so they could get started. Niamh was quiet while she and both parents scanned the image looking for something reassuring. Shara knew there wouldn't be much to see, a tiny little bean but hopefully with that little flash of a heartbeat. Salt gods, please let us be able to see what we couldn't hear yesterday, she prayed.
"Shara and Jamos, I am truly sorry," she said after seeing something that neither of them had been able to decipher. "It looks to me like the baby stopped developing at about 8 weeks."
"You mean it's 8 weeks along. We got the dates wrong, Aye?" Jamos asked, still hanging on to hope.
"No." Niamh said gently and then pointed out in greater detail. "Here's the sack which had continued to grow a little bigger but inside… there's no heartbeat, no movement. Eventually," she said to Shara. "Your body will figure out that it's not supporting a live fetus and you will naturally expel the tissue. Either that or there is a procedure…"
Shara had stopped listening. Expel the tissue? They were talking about her baby. Salt gods, she was having a miscarriage and her body didn't even know it yet? She hated the term 'miscarriage'. It sounded like she had done something wrong, like she had dropped her child. She didn't 'miss' carry anything. Her baby was gone. She reached out for Kason and Jamos handed him over. At least she had her son. If she never had another child at least she had Kason. She held him tightly and as she did she closed her eyes and saw again the image in her mind of her mother from her dream. Hadassa was holding a tiny bundle in her arms. Little Jay was safe in her arms and not in any pain.
"Did you hear that, Shara?" Jamos was asking her softly. He was heroically holding back his own tears.
"No. No I didn't. What did she say?" Shara wiped her cheeks and kissed Kason's sweet head.
"Niamh thinks it would be best for you to go through with the procedure." He explained. "They put you out for about an hour and when you wake up it'll all be over. We won't have to wait for things to, er…" his voice broke and he stroked Kason's blond hair. "Come naturally."
"You should start your cycle again in a month or so and as long as you're both feeling up to it you can start trying again." Niamh informed them.
"I… I don't know," Shara managed.
Niamh nodded. "I'll let you two talk about it. You can get dressed and go whenever you're ready and just comm me later with your decision."
She left the room. But they weren't ready to talk about anything. They just held each other and cried.
…
Far away from the Hold, Hugo Bralykburn retired to his quarters on the Dxun's Fang as they made their way back up the river. It was so good to be back on the water, especially in time for Talia's tenth birthday. He'd been given a year off for good behavior just in time for the event and for a present he'd taken her on board as his midshipman for a trading voyage down south. She was thrilled. She'd served under Hugo's most trusted captain during the four years he was on house arrest and he'd heard nothing but good things while she was home, but it was nothing compared to how she glowed when Hugo called her Midshipman Bralykburn.
He'd been nervous about the promotion. Dominic was on his first voyage as midshipman when disaster struck and he was especially jumpy after not being on the water for so long.
But everything had gone fine. They'd done their trading at one of the river villages and now they were on their way back to the Keep, with the ship and crew perfectly intact.
The door's hinges creaked and Hugo sighed. Well, not perfectly.
"Evenin'," Suzelle greeted him and shut the door behind her.
Hugo rolled his eyes at his datapad. While they were in the fishing village along the river he and Talia were haggling with the fish merchant and Hugo was about to throw the man into the river for refusing to adjust his miserly price when the merchant's sister shoved him aside, smiled at Hugo and said "Ignore him." From that point on, the bargaining had gone swimmingly and the woman, her name was Suzelle, pulled him aside while the trade goods were being loaded onto the ship and said: "Your little girl needs a mother."
"She had one," Hugo snapped. "The very best. We lost her."
"I don't doubt it," Suzelle gestured to Talia. "But she's gettin' older. There'll be things she'll want a mother for soon." She shrugged. "I'd like the job."
So he gave it to her. She was right, about things Talia would want a mother for looming on the horizon like huge, awkward clouds over Hugo's head. If he didn't have to have those discussions with her, then he was fine with that. He asked Talia her opinion on the situation and his daughter had just smirked at Suzelle and said "Aye, Papa."
He and Suzelle were married on the dock. He'd bought her flowers because Talia said he had to, and she'd acted like he'd given her the sun. She liked pretty things, and that was fine and dandy with Hugo because Talia liked her. She'd be a good stepmother for his little girl. And his wife. Whatever. He didn't care about that part a bit, except when Suzelle stole his covers.
Just then a notification popped up on his datapad and Hugo checked it out. It was a news report, well more of a gossip report that Suzelle must have installed on the thing, but the name Blackwell caught his attention. Last he heard Blackwhelp's southern witch was supposed to be pregnant. What was it now, twins?
He read further.
No, it was not twins.
There wasn't going to be another Blackwell baby come autumn.
Hugo burst out laughing. Well, if this didn't beat all! Finally the galaxy was giving Jamos Blackwell the swift kick in the pants he deserved. Maybe now he and his beast rider whore would get off their high dalgos and grow up. It was about time.
Suzelle raised an eyebrow from across the room. "What're you laughin' at?"
Hugo threw his sheets to the wind. It wasn't like he cared what she thought anyway. "It's Jamos Blackwell and his wife. They were going to have a babe."
"What's so funny 'bout havin' a babe?"
"She lost it." Hugo snickered.
Suzelle froze and set down her holonovel. "She lost the babe?"
"Aye."
"And you're laughing?" She rose out of her seat and stalked over to him, hands on her hips. "They lost a child and you're reactin' like this?"
"Aye, I -."
The slap came out of nowhere and almost knocked his head off his spine. Hugo actually felt his head go as far forward as it could before snapping back into its rightful position.
Suzelle towered over him, looking like she was about ready to get him again with the backhand. "What are you doing laughing at those poor parents, you lout?" she bellowed.
Hugo grabbed the back of his head. "D-did you just hit me?"
She nodded. "Aye, and I'm gonna do it again if you don't quit acting like a fambaa's backside."
"Well maybe those two will grow up now," he shot back. "Besides, it's not like they lost a real kid or anything."
"Tell me." Suzelle glowered at him. "When your Yanara told you that you were gonna be a father, how did you feel?"
Hugo shut up. He was never going to admit it, but as soon as he'd known that Dominic and then Talia were on the way, they were as real and present in his life as if he was holding them in his arms already. Losing Dom was absolutely crushing; if something had happened to his children before he got to chance to say hello it would have only been worse.
Suzelle jabbed a finger at him. "I thought so."
Hugo stared at her in shock while she sat down and went back to her datapad. Who in salt gods' names did this woman think she was to smack him around like a mouthy kid?
Like she could read his mind Suzelle turned around and gave him a look that made him forget his entire train of thought. "You are going to show your little girl how a real man acts," she swore. "You will if it's the last thing you do."
"And what makes you think you have something to say about how I raise Talia?" he sputtered.
"You married me to be a mother for her. I'm just doin' my job," she fired back. "Got a problem with that, then comm a litigator. But I don't think you will."
And with that she opened the holobook on her datapad and began reading again, leaving Hugo to his shock.
…
Marlon eased his bedroom door open with his best seduction face and scanned the room for Lana. Usually around this time his wife would be in the 'fresher taking a shower, or over at the window looking at the water, or by the hearth reading a book. All of these were prime places for Marlon to slowly walk up behind her and propose they postpone whatever she was doing.
But the 'fresher was empty, as was Lana's favorite chair, and no one blocked the view from the window. Instead Lana lay on one side of their bed, with Marlon's two children occupying the other side, fast asleep. Dalla was starfished on the bed, taking up more space than Marlon thought a nearly six-year-old could occupy, and three-year-old Thias was flopped half on top of her and half on the foot of the bed, like a norcog.
Marlon crawled up behind Lana and spooned against her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
Lana reached behind her and caressed his shoulder. "You have enough room?"
"Mostly," he wrapped his arms around Lana and settled into his less precarious position. "I didn't know they were here."
"They missed their Mommy and Daddy," she explained. "Fell asleep before you got here."
They were all exhausted emotionally and physically after the events of the past week. But life went on and maybe now that Shara's procedure was over and she was home recovering, they could all begin to return to some sort of normalcy.
"They're adorable." He would never take them for granted.
"Mmhm."
Still some time alone with his wife would be nice. "Know what would be even more adorable?"
"What?"
Marlon leaned forward and whispered in her ear: "If we took them back to their rooms and got this place to ourselves."
Lana laughed and stuck her face into her pillow to muffle the sounds
"What?" She always went for the sexy whisper! What happened to hey there hot stuff, let's make a baby?
"This is your seduction?" She laughed when she came up for air. "This is you trying to get me in bed?"
Marlon went for the clever route. "No, this is me trying to get them out of our bed."
"Nope," Lana shook her head, still chuckling. "Nope, I'm not waking up a sleeping child."
"We won't wake them up," Marlon reasoned. "We'll be like Jedi!"
Lana hadn't even bothered to stop shaking her head. "It's not happening tonight, Nolram."
With that answer Marlon threw in the towel, but salt gods help him he was going to save face with his favorite weapon: humor. "Noooo," he moaned melodramatically, drawing out the "no" as long as he could. "I was hoping for another baby!"
Lana smirked.
"What? What are you smiling about?"
His wife slid her hand from his shoulder to his wrist, and then guided his hand from its resting place on her ribcage to her lower belly.
"Because if I'm right, one's already been made."
Marlon froze, and then sat up to look her in the eyes. "Really?"
"I didn't want say anything, especially to Shara so soon after… but they'll have to hear about some time and they'll be trying again for another of their own. Maybe they'll save some of the Brylks for this little one," Lana smiled and patted his hand over her belly. "Grandmother said the third would be a great beast master."
Marlon blinked, letting that sink in, and then kissed that smile off her before ducking down to kiss her belly.
"Another baby," he whispered, an enormous grin spreading over his face. "I bet you're going to look just like your Mommy, and she and I both love you -."
Marlon was deliriously happy but the reality of what his brother and sister-in-law had just experienced also crashed over him. "We'll keep it quiet for a while and figure out the best way to tell Jay and Shar."
Lana nodded.
Just then his daughter squirmed around in her sleep, kicking him with one of her little feet and missing Thias' head by about a centimeter.
Marlon winced. "We're going to have to get a bigger bed."
…
Life is full of sorrow and joy and the two often overlap. Having something to celebrate when someone else is in pain can be incredibly hard. It's a good thing that the Blackwell family are so close and they can stand by each other. But we'll hear more about that later. For now comment please and thank you so much for reading!