The Reverend Rites
By Reverend Magister
Well, firstly, I am aware of the misspelling above. Our dear Parish Secretary, Miss Skibblehorn, insisted that this column title has been a tradition for decades, and moreover insisted would be amusing to some in our parish. I'm not aware of how forgetting a letter would be amusing to any but the most ignorant and poor witted creatures not only of this village but any village in the entire Universe, but nevertheless I have chosen not to seek disagreement, and bide my time. For now.
This week, our Gospel reading is from the book of Matthew, Chapter 18, verses 12-14, the parable of the lost sheep. The Shepherd, who finds one sheep out of his flock of 100 missing, searches the wilderness for the one that is lost, and is considered a Good Shepherd. And rightfully so.
What is a sheep? It is an animal. It is not intelligent, not able to care for itself. It is raised to provide wool and meat and die. This may not be its choice for its life, but it would be foolish to expect an ignorant beast like a sheep to be responsible for its own life choices. The Shepherd knows what is best for the sheep, that it should remain penned in captivity with the flock where it can achieve its purpose, rather than it be lead astray and have no strong leader to guide it in the wilderness. Some may see an inferior animal like a sheep as needing to be free from the captivity, and they are fools. The strong, the intelligent, rule the weak and ignorant animals, such is the way of all things.
For if a lost sheep is left to wander, what would happen to it? Many of you will be thinking, perhaps a wolf will kill eat, or it will starve without the intervention of the kind Shepherd. And that is all true. But there is a greater risk not only to the lost sheep, but to the Shepherd himself. What if the lost sheep were to meet a rival Shepherd, one who has known the good Shepherd from old but whose philosophies put him against the good Shepherd time and time again. This rival Shepherd may be thinking the Sheep should be free to make its own destiny, not caring about the chaos that will bring about. With the assistance of this rival Shepherd, the lost sheep may be able to lead to the escape of many more sheep from the flock, and without warning, the Shepherd will be overthrown by an army of attack sheep! Even the best Shepherd could not hold off an aggressive army of 100 bleating, biting attack sheep.
But after this revolution, the sheep would be lost without the shepherd to guide them. Their existence will be pointless with no one to collect their wool and meat. By working with the rival Shepherd, the Sheep has destroyed all of the flock. Truly it would have been better for the Good Shepherd to destroy the lost sheep rather than let that fate doom the flock.
As Vicar of this Parish, I am your Shepherd. You are my flock. And I give you my solemn vow, that if any of you should become lost, I will spare no effort, no expense to find you and bring you back to the flock.
Before I close I would like to remind you all that Mrs Cheeseman has kindly donated some of her homemade chutneys and preserves in order to finance the Church's restoration. You should purchase these items to help restore the church. You will purchase these items to help restore the church. You will obey me, and purchase these items to restore the church.