BUILDING BRIDGES, BURNING BRIDGES

A little time has passed. Dalla is 8 ½ now. Thias just turned 6. Kason is 4 and double trouble are just about to enter their terrible twos. Life is busy at the Hold so we'll take a detour Bralyk Keep. ~ DK

…

"Women! The bane of my existence!" said Hugo but there was no malice in it. He was squeezing Suzelle's hand and he only left off gazing at the image on the sonogram screen to throw her an excited grin.

"Both of the baby girls are growing healthy and strong," Sheela, the Keep's midwife who had delivered Talia into the world, assured them.

"That's the most important thing." Suzelle brushed happy tears from her eyes with her free hand. This was the best salt and light gift he could have ever given her, or her to him.

Hugo brought the hand he was holding to his lips and kissed it gently. "They're going to be beautiful just like their mother."

Suzelle couldn't say that he had changed exactly. This tender, caring soul had always been there beneath the gruff exterior. It had just taken her a while to coax it out of him. "I wish Talia could be here with us to see this."

The freeze had come early this year, a full week before the first night of salt and light. It had caught his daughter and her crew away from the Keep. At least she had been safe at Harkon Hall and Talia could wait out the season with friends. She confessed that she had sailed there to see if there might be a fresh litter of norcog pups so that she could bring one home for her new brother or sister.

It wasn't easy being away from his girl for the holiday, even though she was nearly fourteen now and a responsible second mate. There was the other thing, though, about the Harkons having a nearly fourteen year old boy in the Hall. Well, Suzelle had assured him that she and Talia had had a nice long talk about that and they were still too young to be thinking of anything of that sort, anyway.

"We'll send her a holo," Hugo beamed. "Tell her to bring back two of the fur balls with big pink bows on their collars."

Suzelle laughed and then sobered slightly. "There's someone else I'd like to share the news with…" she knew it was still a touchy subject, "Shara?"

He was silent for a moment before he nodded. "Aye. If you'd like." Then he smiled again. "Dxun, if you'd like to have her over for a visit in the spring, I don't mind."

"Really?" She couldn't believe it. There had been so many times in the last couple of years that the two friends had tried to get together but the weather or the season or just the general business of life had gotten in the way.

"Aye." He nodded again more sure of the idea. "I know it means a lot to ye."

"Oh, Hugo, it does! It would mean the world to me!" She pulled him into a hug, made awkward in the presence of the midwife who hadn't yet finished all of her scans.

The gruff man cleared his throat and laughed. "Kriff, we'll have her bring the whelp and the whole crew."

"Now, you can't call him that." Suzelle swatted his arm but the smile couldn't be erased from her face. "And you're going to have to clean up that language in front of your daughters. I don't have enough hands to cover all their ears."

"Aye, aye, Ma'am. I'll do my best." He kissed her before stepping back to let the midwife finnish her exam.

…

Shara had news of her own that she'd been dying to tell. Only her husband knew about the positive test she'd taken just after Kason's 4th birthday. They'd agreed to keep it a secret and to only tell the immediate family during salt and light so that they could include the blessing in their new year's prayers.

Jamos had told everyone he was only going along to Niamh's for her regular yearly exam because he was bored since the frost had come so soon this year. Lier. Like anyone could be bored in a holdfast with five children under the age of nine, all excited about salt and light, and birthdays, and the new year. And no one could miss his beaming smile when the two of them came back after they got the report that he or she was measuring right on schedule and had a healthy heartbeat.

"Oh." Shara pouted playfully at her husband. "Can't I at least tell Suzelle? She'll be so excited that we're both having little ones next summer."

"No." Jamos laughed. "Absolutely not. She'll tell Bralykburn and then he'll tell the whole planet and we won't get to surprise anyone."

"I guess so but it will be absolutely forever till the thaw!" she complained.

"You sound like Emoth." He tapped her nose. "Let's worry about getting he and Kase ready for a new little brother or sister. The thaw will be here before you know it."

…

No one expected for the first ship to enter Blackhold harbor after the freeze had lifted, to be flying Bralykburn banners. It had been years since any ship of that designation had even attempted to sail beyond the Hold's gates. But it wasn't coming from the direction of the Keep and it was flying all the flags of peace and truce. No weapons were to be seen on the deck.

Most surprising of all, however, was the lanky, young, female second mate who bounded down the gangplank as soon as it hit the dock requesting excitedly to speak to Lady Shara Blackwell.

Shara, as soon as she heard, dropped what she was doing and found someone to keep an eye on the children. She wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and ran for the pub where she had been told the visitor was waiting for her. She knew who it must be from the description and though she had never met the girl, she felt like she knew her from Suzelle's letters.

"Talia!" she exclaimed as she blew in through the pub door with a cold rush of wind. She hugged the girl in welcome just as she would have Dalla if her niece had just returned from a long voyage.

"Lady Blackwell." Talia backed away, a little embarrassed by the greeting and gave her an awkward curtsy in her fishing leathers, trying to remember what her step-mother had taught her about addressing nobility.

"Now, come on." Shara took her hand and led the younger girl to a booth. "Please call me Shara, and you must tell me all the news!"

They sat and Lady Blackwell put a hand to her gently swelling belly as she squeezed into the seat. This woman was nothing like what Talia had expected from her father's angry ranting. She was pleased that Suzelle's impression had been the more correct.

"Well, I didn't come from the Keep. I was stuck at Harkon Hall for the whole freeze. I went there to see if they might have a cog pup for me to bring back for the baby." A grin broke out over her features. "Or babies I mean! She's having twins! I'm going to have twin sisters!"

Shara half gasped and half squealed with delight. "A double blessing indeed!" She laughed and shook her head. "You must tell her I couldn't be more happy for her, for all of you!"

"I will." Talia dropped her gaze down to the table and then looked back up inquisitively. "That's partly why I stopped off here at the Hold. I was sure you'd have a letter for her that I could bring back with me."

"I do." Shara nodded. "But it's back up at the holdfast and i'll have to gather the holos I meant to send with it."

"I can wait. I'm sure the crew would enjoy a little shore leave before we continue. And…" again she paused hesitantly. "I wondered if you might want to come along for a visit. Suzelle would love to see you and she asked Papa and… he agreed."

"Oh." Shara sat back against the padded wall of the booth with an expression of surprise. "Well I'm sure they would rather follow a more formal flow of invitations and acceptance and scheduling… instead of just finding me on their doorstep."

Talia bit her lip in disappointment.

Shara sighed. "Now, Talia, it was a wonderful thought." She reached across the table and patted the girl's hand. "I would very much like to go and see your stepmother."

"But you can't travel because you're…" Talia gestured toward Shara's belly that was hidden under the edge of the table.

"I am." She smiled conspiratorially. "I've wanted to tell Suzelle for so long. It's all in my letter to her."

The girl perked up a bit.

"And I haven't been restricted from travel. So…"

"It might still be possible for you to come!" Talia beamed.

Shara nodded and smiled back at her. "I'll wait until I get an official invitation from the Keep just to make sure your Papa hasn't changed his mind. And my husband might take some convincing as well." She gave the girl a playful grimace.

Talia laughed. "I hope they can finally be friends."

"So do I." Shara gestured to Maris to bring them each something non-alcoholic before she continued. "Were you able to get cog pups for your sisters?"

"No." Talia frowned. "Ephraim doesn't think they'll get another litter till late summer. I might have to go back and pick a couple of them out then.

Shara thought she detected just a hint of color blooming in the cheeks of the young girl when the boy's name was mentioned but she didn't pry. "Well, there's not much a newborn could do with a norcog so it might be better to wait anyway. Maybe for their first salt and light?"

Talia nodded and sipped the muja juice that was put before her.

…

Before Talia left to continue on her journey Shara collected her letter and holos to be delivered to Suzelle and placed them thankfully into Talia's hands. Shara also took the girl to the little gift shop by the harbor. It was where sailors sometimes bought little trinkets to bring home to their sweethearts from their travels. Most of the items sold there were junk but Shara found two stuffed norcogs and made sure that each one had a pink ribbon tied around its neck.

Shara pulled the girl into a hug. "You give Suzelle my love and tell her I will come if it is at all within my power to do so."

"I will." Talia waved from the deck of her ship and called back. "Thank you!"

…

It was a little disappointing but understandable when Hugo's daughter descended the gangplank and ran first to her stepmother rather than himself. Talia hugged Suzelle and then handed her a flimzy package and two stuffed norcogs, before she gave him a rather guilty look.

"I stopped off at Blackhold on my way here to fetch Lady Blackwell's letters for Suzelle."

"That was very thoughtful." His wife also shot Hugo a look. "Wasn't it, Dear?"

He supposed he should have been angry at the unscheduled detour but really he was only glad that their little family was all together again. "Very thoughtful, Girly." He opened his arms for a hug and she finally went to him with a relieved smile.

Suzelle glanced through the items in the package and laughed. "If I'd known we had a free delivery service, I would have waited till you got back and sent you back with my letter for Shara."

"Oh!" Talia bounced on the balls of her feet. She couldn't wait for her stepmother to read the news for herself. "Speaking of delivery. You'll never guess! Shara is pregnant again too!"

Hugo fought valiantly not to roll his eyes. Suzelle still threw him a warning glance to which he shrugged innocently.

"Salt gods, bless them." Suzelle rubbed her own belly but then she frowned. "But now I've already sent her invitation. What if she's not able to travel?"

Again Hugo bit back what he really wanted to say and instead squeezed her shoulder. "If she's able, she's welcome. And the whe- the captain."

…

"Well, I know you said his daughter passed on the invite." Jamos sat at his desk shaking his head. "But I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it in black and white."

Shara stood back watching his reaction carefully. She folded her hands over her baby bump that was beginning to show in earnest now. In another week they'd be able to find out if they were going to have another boy or finally even out the gender balance in the Hold. "It could be a brand new start for the friendship of our families. Niamh has said that the baby and I are doing just fine. She said that she's even going on a voyage of her own to see family after my sonogram appointment. And I've still got ages till my due date. The boys would love a trip on the Polaris and…"

Jamos laughed and waved off her tirade. "Aye. Okay. I want you to be able to see your friend. I know this invitation has been a long time in coming."

She squealed, ran around the desk and threw herself into his arms. Jamos made the most of having her in his lap and kissed her.

"I still want you to see Niamh again first. After the sonogram appointment we'll send them our acceptance. If Niamh says it's okay for you to take such a long journey."

Shara kissed his face again and again. "Oh I know she will! Thank you!"

…

There was a post ship at the dock the afternoon after Shara's appointment but she had to race with her hastily scribbled note to catch it before they raised the anchor and set out.

"Dear Suzelle," She had scrawled. "Another boy! Can you believe it? And the midwife says we're perfectly healthy for a voyage. Jamos and the boys are just as excited to meet you as I am. We eagerly await your reply so we can begin to make arrangements. See you very soon, my friend. - Shara."

…

"Maybe I should have commed instead of sending the reply by post." Two weeks later, Shara paced back and forth, distracted from the planting she and Lana were attending to in the greenhouse.

Lana sighed. "You still could, you know. We have the comm ID for the Keep. Maybe the post ship got held up."

"Do you think I should? I didn't want Hugo to think I was too eager."

"You are eager." Lana laughed. "And if they never got your acceptance than they wouldn't know to contact you to make arrangements."

"You're right." Shara nodded. "If there's nothing on the post ship today, I'll give them a comm."

There was something on the post ship, but not what they were expecting. It was a simple announcement, addressed to all of the northern clans. Hugo Bralykburn was the proud father of two new daughters Kora and Kayla. Though they had arrived early, both were thriving. Sadly their mother, Hugo's second wife Suzelle Flint-Bralykburn, had not survived the ordeal of labor. She went to the salt gods shortly after her second daughter made her way into the world.

…

In the days that followed, Shara cycled through shock and sadness, anger and questions. Then she dried her tears and settled back into determination. She threw herself back into packing for a sea voyage and Jamos found her dragging a loaded sea chest towards the door one afternoon after receiving a worried comm from Lana.

"What are you doing, Love?" He pulled her away from the luggage and coaxed her into a chair.

"He must be devastated. We didn't do anything for him after he lost Yanara and his son. We cannot just sit here and let him go through this alone. Again!" She had thought she had to be done with crying by now but the stubborn salty stream still washed over her cheeks.

Jamos held her. "Do you think it might be possible that Hugo doesn't want us there?" He tried to say the words gently and laid his hand on her belly. "With you still…"

She pushed his hand away and stood. "She was my friend. Talia and those poor baby girls… I grew up without a mother. I know what they're going through. I can't sit here and do nothing!"

"Shar, this can't be good for you, for our baby. Please just…"

"Niamh cleared me for travel. Jay, I need to do this," she begged but some of the fire had gone out of her. She let him gather her again into his arms.

"When Niamh gets back from her trip," he hushed her. "We'll have her check you out and if she says it's alright, we'll go together."

Shara nodded against his chest and for the first time realized that he was crying too.

He shrugged when she looked up at him trying to make light of it but when he spoke his voice broke. "I don't want to lose you. I - I don't want to raise our boys alone."

"Oh no." She gave him a sad smile. "You're stuck with me, Captain. I'm not going anywhere."

…

"It's a good thing you didn't go on that voyage." Niamh told them as she finished her exam and then asked. "You're sure you've been feeling fine, no contractions or backpain?"

"No, I've felt fine." She was being completely honest not just trying to get off with a good report. "I guess I've had a few of those painless contractions that I had with the other boys but as you well know both of them had to be induced to get them moving."

"Why? Is something wrong?" Jamos asked.

"Not wrong exactly, no. Shara and the baby are perfectly healthy. Those contractions must have been doing something though. You're five centimeters dilated and his head is down. I'm contemplating if I want to send you home for the night to get some rest in your own bed before I send you over to the birthing center tomorrow or if I should just have you go straight there from here."

"What?"

"But my due date's not for another month."

"It's too early. He'll be too small."

"Can you stop labor? Can I just stay off my feet till he's ready?"

All the fears they had felt at the news of Suzelle's early labor came flooding back.

"We haven't even thought of a name for him yet."

Niamh laughed. She didn't even seem upset at the prospect. "Well you should probably give that some thought tonight. Go home. Spend some time with the boys. Just don't do anything crazy like sail off on a second honeymoon. Thirty-six weeks really isn't all that early. It's earlier than we'd like. It would be nice if his lungs had a little more time to develop but we will have everything on hand to make sure that he has what he needs if he needs a little help to get started breathing real air."

Jamos inquired worriedly, "Worst case, he might have to spend some time in special care to catch up?"

"I can't foresee any other problems." The midwife shook her head. "If you do start having contractions tonight, you'll want to go ahead and come over to the birthing center. You went pretty fast with the first two."

…

The triage nurse in the middle of the night didn't agree. "She said you were at five centimeters and his head was down?"

"That's what Niamh said at my appointment." Shara glanced, unsure at her husband.

Jamos corroborated. "That was several hours ago and she's had a few contractions since then."

"I'm only measuring three and a half, maybe four centimeters." The nurse sighed. "And I don't feel his head at all."

Shara rubbed at the hard lump of anonymous baby part that was poking up into her ribs. She had been hoping that it was his behind meaning that he was in the correct position but… "You don't think he might have rolled over so his head isn't down anymore?"

"I know it's hard to believe that he's still got room in there but it is possible."

"Well, should we just go back home then?" Jamos asked.

"No, Niamh wanted to see you in the morning." The nurse tried to placate them but she seemed baffled. "We'll keep you on the monitors tonight. Try to get some sleep."

"Easy for her to say." Jamos's smile was tired and worried.

He wouldn't leave her, choosing to stay in the hard triage chair by Shara's side rather than leave her in the care of the nurses and get some sleep or go home to check on Kason and Emoth. She couldn't blame him after the terrible news about Suzelle. She'd been trying not to bring that up and so, she was sure, had he. Still it was on both of their minds.

Shara couldn't sleep but she was glad that her husband was getting some rest with his head pillowed on his folded arms on the edge of her bed. She ran her fingers through his hair and wondered that he didn't have more early grays at his temples than he already had with all they had been through. She prayed for him and for herself and the baby, and for Kason and Emoth. She prayed for Marlon and Lana and her niece and nephews. She prayed for Hugo and his girls, Talia, Kayla and Kora…

"Kora?" Shara whispered to herself. Jamos stirred but he didn't wake. Her mother's maiden name was… "Cornel."

They baby within her moved reassuringly.

"Is that your name, sweetheart? Are you Cornel?"

Again he moved, she could only hope back into the correct position, and she smiled.

…

Niamh soberly explained her findings after her exam and the sonogram that proved that the baby had indeed moved into a breech position.

"We've got time though, aye?" Jamos asked hopefully. "There's still a month till the due date. He might turn back around on his own before then."

The midwife shook her head. "Shara was up to five centimeters dilation when I checked her yesterday. I don't want her walking around like that. It is possible," she said gently, "that, given the baby's position, the umbilical cord could be born first. It's what we call a prolapse. If that were to happen and then the baby dropped into position…"

Shara gasped having already realized the ramifications. "He would suffocate!" Jamos squeezed her hand.

"We're not going to let that happen." Niamh continued to explain. "We have some options. We could schedule a C-section. That way the conditions will be more controlled."

Shara shook her head. She wouldn't consider that unless it was absolutely necessary. Of course there was always a risk with surgery but what she really hated was the idea of her own recovery time that she'd miss out on holding her son right after he was born and bonding with him.

Jamos spoke up for them both. "There's an option other than major surgery?"

Niamh nodded once. "I could attempt to turn him manually, get him into position, and then break your water and induce labor. External version can be a painful procedure. I would suggest that you have the epidural first before I make the attempt. Even then I would like to have the operating room ready just in case."

"I had epidurals and inductions with the other boys so that shouldn't be a problem." Shara breathed a relieved sigh. She wasn't completely out of the woods but she vastly prefered this option.

"Pray about it before you make a decision. I'll be praying also for the salt gods' wisdom." Niamh left them to think it over.

…

When the time came, the operating room had been prepared and pediatric special care nurses were attending to whisk the preemie off to his own intervention should it be needed. But none of it was. Jamos and Shara's third son arrived pink and screaming into the world a bit smaller than his brothers had been, but perfectly healthy and fully developed.

The nurses congratulated the couple as they returned to their regular duties. Jamos and Shara thanked them and Niamh for everything, but distractedly, because they were so enamoured with their new little boy.

…

"Cornel Blackwell?" Jamos's brother jokingly complained when he and Lana came to visit later, bringing up all of the brothers and cousins to meet the new addition. "What's Grandmother Flint going to say?"

"Cornel Marlon Blackwell." Jamos grinned. "Unless you'd like us to change it."

"No." Marlon laughed. "My nephew is just perfect."

…

"Hello?" The voice that finally answered Shara's comm was quiet and nervous and Talia's image looked back over her shoulder as if she was afraid of being discovered doing the answering.

Shara modified her own volume but her words came out in a rush. "Talia, are you alright? How are the babies? Your Papa? We never heard anything after… Oh, Talia I'm so sorry."

"He doesn't want me to speak to you, but I couldn't just…" Talia smiled guiltily. "The girls are beautiful. Kora is fair like Su- like Suzelle but she already has a temper like Papa. Kayla has a head full of dark curls. She was smaller to start with but she's so calm and sweet. You had your baby too. Another boy?"

"Aye." Shara swallowed at the mention of her friend and her chin wobbled slightly. "We call him Cornel. He's small and sweet like your Kayla. He's napping just now."

"Suzelle would have loved to see him. She was just talking about how she couldn't wait for your visit before…" She looked back out of the holofield when she heard a noise and then Shara heard another voice.

"Who're you talkin' to?"

"Nobody, Papa." Talia's image turned away as if she were trying to block the projection on her end from someone else's view.

Then she was pushed aside and Hugo Bralykburn's image filled Shara's view with a tiny bundle in his arms. Dark curls peaked out from the edge of the blanket so it must have been little Kayla he was holding. Only then did Shara also hear another infant crying from another room of the Keep.

"The witch! I should have known!"

"Papa she only wanted to see about the twins and say she was sorry about Suzelle." Talia attempted to push back in.

"Lord Bralykburn, I've wanted so badly to come… if there's anything at all I can do to help."

"We don't need your help!" He cut her off. "Too little too late is always the way with you Blackwells, isn't it." He turned to his eldest daughter and with remarkable gentleness placed her little sister in her arms. "Go and see to Kora."

"Aye, Papa."

He watched them go before he seemed to swell, ready to give vent to his full anger. "We don't need you or your whelp husband anywhere near Bralyk Keep! Don't need you and don't want you! Might have made allowances while Suzelle was alive. She seemed to take to you, though I'm kriffed why!"

Shara knew his outburst stemmed from the hurt and loss he was feeling but that didn't make it easier to take.

"I knew you were a kriffing witch when you sailed away from that storm without a scratch while my Yanara and Dominic were taken by the sea and now you pop out a third whelp for that…"

"How dare you speak to my wife that way!" Jamos's voice bellowed as he rushed into the comm room behind her.

Just behind him, drawn by the noise, Lana came, gathered Shara into a comforting hug, and drew her away from the argument that was only escalating in volume and intensity.

"I was only trying to… I only wanted…" Shara wept into her friend's shoulder.

Lana hushed her. "Shhh… Some people just can't accept help. Don't you waste any more time on him."

"But Suzelle's babies…" Shara sobbed. "And Talia. Those poor girls growing up without a mother. Hugo… just now he sounded so much like my father after… He wouldn't accept any help either."

"Suzelle was able to speak into Talia's life these past few years." Lana rubbed her back. They walked together further away from the comm room but it was impossible to escape completely all the horrible, unretractable things that were being said.

Marlon passed them going the other way to intercede. And eventually the voices died down.

Lana continued. "Tallia knows that you're there for her if she needs someone to turn to and Adria will be watching out for her as well. The little girls will have their big sister."

"She did seem to be very good with the baby." Shara nodded and accepted a handkerchief to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.

"There's something else." Lana held out an envelope. "This just came. It must have gotten mixed up in the post."

Shara whimpered again when she saw the handwriting and the name. No matter what message it held, she knew she would always treasure Suzelle's final letter.

…

Life and death. Joy and sadness. Shara certainly has her hands full with three boys under the age of five. But she will always keep a watch on the Bralykburn girls from a distance and maybe the day will come when Hugo will finally allow her to be a part of their lives. Though you might have to wait till the sequel for that…