Trigger Warning: Gore in the first scene. Might be squicky for some.
Blood - everywhere.
Stagnant red covered him from head to toe, fat drops crusted in his hair, his face, his clothes, and everywhere in between. He could hardly breathe around the coppery aroma that filled his nose, forcing itself down into his throat so that he nearly choked on the taste.
"What a shame," said the sorrowed voice of his mother. He wiped furiously at his eyes with his left hand, hoping to clear his vision to glance at her beautiful face. "That's your best suit. I was hoping you'd wear it to my funeral, Shuichi."
His own blood, flowing relentlessly through his veins, ran cold at her words.
He blinked away the rest of the blurriness at last, green eyes roving frantically in their sockets before he spotted her lying on her back at his feet.
She smiled at him softly, not a care in the world despite the massive hole in her chest where her heart should have been.
"W-where...where is your - "
"It's with you, son. It will always be with you."
Something in his right hand twitched and stuttered, drawing his horrified attention. There in his palm, beating weakly, gushing blood, sat her heart.
It was the screaming that woke him-not his own, though Kurama had a feeling he'd been about to scream, in his dream or otherwise.
Drenched in sweat, panting hard, the fox slowly sat up in his bed and palmed his face in one hand, allowing the tension to drain from his trembling body. That had not been the first dream of her, and it would likely not be the last, but each time it was like the wound in his heart over her loss split deeper still. Eventually, he surmised, it might just break in two.
But today was not that day.
Another sudden scream made him flinch, and though it did not sound like a scream of terror, Kurama felt the need to search out the source with his own eyes.
Gathering his strength the fox swung his feet off the bed and stood, wrapping his forest green robe tighter against his pallid skin. He felt cold, despite the sweat, and considered grabbing his blanket as well before the third scream, high and shrill, brought his attention back to the matter at hand.
He wasn't sure what he expected when he opened the door to his bedroom and made his way through the hall and down the stairs, but it certainly wasn't to find Yusuke holding a small brunet upside down by the ankle in the middle of the living room. He blinked comically, opening his mouth to speak; however, the youngster noticed him beforehand and beat him to it.
"Uncle Kurama!" squealed the boy, tiny face overtaken by a wide grin. "You're awake!"
Yusuke, who had frozen solid at the sound of his name, recovered quickly and tossed him a sheepish grin, swinging the boy gently up into his arms so he could set him down. "Sorry, man, didn't mean to wake you. Kai gets his big mouth from me."
Kai Urameshi, with his feet finally upon solid ground, waved so enthusiastically his little body shook. His warm eyes, more reminiscent of Keiko's light brown than anything else, sparkled with delight at his father's words. Yusuke was obviously his hero and being compared to him tickled him pink.
"It's perfectly all right," Kurama replied, attempting a smile that teetered more towards a grimace. "I would have awoken soon anyway, on my own." It wasn't even a lie, really, though he did omit the fact that he would have woken up screaming out for his mother.
The memory of the nightmare darkened his tired eyes, which did not go unnoticed by Yusuke. Kurama could tell he wanted to ask about it judging by his tense stance, and perhaps he would have if his son wasn't looking up at him with a wide, questioning gaze.
"Daddy, can we have breakfast now that Uncle Kurama is awake?" the child pleaded, reaching to tug at the hem of his father's shirt with his small hand.
Yusuke spent a few more seconds carefully studying Kurama's face before he clapped his hands together once, making the other two jump nervously, gaping at him.
Wearing his best shit eating grin, Yusuke said, "sure, squirt! Breakfast it is! Why don't you catch up with Uncle Kurama while I start." With a wink at Kurama's withering face, he turned on his heel and retreated to the kitchen to prepare their meal.
Some moments thereafter, Kurama curled up on farthest side of the couch he could away from the boy on the middle cushion, uncomfortable under his shining gaze. It had been much easier to interact with Kai when he'd been younger, less aware. Young as he still was, Kurama could tell that those eyes now looked upon him with deep, unwavering sympathy. He shivered a little, vacantly watching the papers on his coffee table flutter with the breeze from the open window.
"Here," said Kai, suddenly closer than before. A soft blanket was draped over his shoulders and Kurama sighed softly, snuggling it close. "That looks better. Daddy brought lots of blankets if you're still cold."
"I'm fine," Kurama managed to say around the steadfastly forming lump in his throat, "but thank you, Kai. You are far too kind, just like your father."
Beaming, the child reached up to pat the fox's shoulder in a surprisingly empathetic way for a seven year old. "Daddy said you're sick, and that big brother and me should help take care of you."
"Big brother and I," Kurama corrected automatically, paling at the mention of his state. Sick, indeed.
"Big brother and I, then, whatever!" The boy laughed a careless laugh, smiling up at the redhead very sweetly. "We're gonna take care of you, okay? So don't be sad! Turn that frown upside down!"
Kurama gulped down a few precious breaths of air to stave off any unsightly hysterics at this situation, whatever it was, before he mustered up the courage to smile back.
"I'm sorry again, about waking you," Yusuke said to Kurama some time later, after breakfast had been prepared. Sitting at the kitchen table with a plate of omelete and bacon in front of him, the redhead shook his head.
"As I said before, Yusuke, it's no trouble. I'll admit that I haven't had...guests in quite a while, but you and your sons are welcome here."
"That's not what you said the other day."
Thankful that the younger son had gone outside to fetch his older brother and Kuwabara, Kurama winced. He supposed he should also be thankful for Yusuke not bringing that day up in front of anyone - Kuwabara was especially perceptive, and would not miss the tremor in his hands, no matter how minute. "Not my finest moment, I know," he admitted. "I've apologized profusely since then."
Yusuke, at the kitchen counter plating more food, turned on him with pointed look, one that spoke of embarrassing tantrums and wholehearted threats to evict the Mazoku via plantlife. If he hadn't felt so weak at the time, Kurama might have actually gone through with it, too.
"I'll wager you realize why I was upset," the fox said, meeting that glare with an apologetic look of his own, "but just for the sake of clarity...he is...not a part of my life at the present moment. He was right to tell you that it was of my own decision, but I did not order him away." Kurama swallowed thickly, the rising pain in his heart lodging in his throat. "I did ask him to leave. I suppose in his eyes, that may very well be the same thing."
Yusuke watched him carefully. Surprise sparkled in those appraising eyes, like he couldn't quite believe the words his ears picked up.
Kurama couldn't even blame him. This was the most he'd spoken of his situation with Hiei in days, even after finding out about the fire apparition's lingering presence. He'd thrown a fit instead, cursing in some lost language of Makai and yelling at Yusuke to "get out, you aren't wanted here, any of you."
Of course, Yusuke had not left. Hadn't even batted an eyelash.
"I'll get out when you make me," he'd said, already in a defensive stance with both fists raised. "Come on, fox boy, show me what you've got."
Even drunk and bitter and hurting, Kurama hadn't been fool enough to try, and that had been that. Life went on. They managed to coexist, not without tension, but even so...the fox could admit that Yusuke's presence was something of a salve for his wounded soul.
"We'll finish this conversation later," promised Yusuke, just before the back door burst open to admit three more grumbling guests. "Now eat your breakfast before it gets cold."
Despite the harsh pain that accompanied them, the haggardly sighed words, "yes, mother" were absolutely worth the expression on Yusuke's beautiful face.
As all medically inclined people knew, healing took time. A broken bone could not be expected to mend overnight, nor could a broken mind.
Kurama knew this fact well. He'd been a healer himself, once upon a time, and a decent one at that. He'd nursed himself back from the brink of death so many times he'd lost count. He defied death, flirted with it, but never crossed that intangible line into beyond where it waited patiently with open arms.
Yusuke, on the other hand, had never been a healer; only a fighter, stubborn to the very tips of his toes. He'd fought with Kurama many times over the past four days, pushing and poking and prodding when he'd very much rather be left to his own devices and allowed to drown in his misery.
Still, he thought as he quietly watched Yusuke and the children clean up after breakfast was over, it was nice to have a friend like him.
"What's in that cup?" said friend imquired as the tidying finished up, noticing Kurama's hands curled tightly around a colored mug.
Sipping demurely, Kurama declined to answer. He had no need to, for his fourth guest huffed from across the table.
"Relax, Urameshi," Kuwabara answered, "it's tea. I poured it for him."
By the furrowing of his brows, Kurama could tell Yusuke didn't quite accept their friend's words. But having no reason to distrust Kuwabara or his watchful eye, he said nothing more on the matter and resumed putting the final dishes away.
Taking another sip from his cup of 'tea,' the fox smiled to himself. Good to have such trusting friends indeed. The recently-emptied flask hidden in the pocket of his robes weighed heavily against his side, but he couldn't feel too bad about it.
After all, he told himself, he was still healing.
A/N:
Hello, all. Bet you thought this story was dead (I did, too). But nope! Had part of this sitting in my files for months, and decided today to take a crack at fleshing it out and posting it.
I can't promise consistent updates, if I'm being honest, but I will say I do like this story and want to finish it. So take what you will of that. Thanks for reading, if you're still here.