Interspecies Relationship Support Network: Tri-Burrows Chapter

by Gabriel LaVedier

The Tri-Burrows may not be a sweeping metropolitan bastion of culture but folks out there still need things, like an organization for folks that love outside their taxonomic category. To that end they've brought the Zootopian network to the Tri-Burrows. Of course... some mammals might not be very happy about that... A Murder, She Wrote style tale of an ever more worldly small town.

4. Housewarming

I do not own Zootopia, that belongs to Disney. This a fan work made solely for the sake of amusement.

Interspecies Relationship Support Network- Tri-Burrow Chapter

Chapter Four: Housewarming

By: Gabriel LaVedier

"Who would have thought that, with all the work we knew would be involved, the last things to get done would be the boring insurance stuff?" Travis asked, as he leaned back in his chair and stared at the acoustic tile ceiling of the office.

"That's how it is. We always think about the big, complicated physical things, then forget about the paperwork. It's hard work being an adult," Jaguar replied, tapping away at his phone.

"He said, while watching a bear berserker plow her way through enemies in just fish leather and decorative chains," Travis chuckled.

"I have a properly balanced team with a healer, a mage, an archer and a battle-invoker," Jaguar countered.

"Did you buy the custom skin to make your berserker a grizzly bear?"

"Did you buy the custom skin to make your squirrel rogue black-furred?" Jaguar queried.

"I don't even play that game," Travis asserted. An uncomfortable moment later he picked up his phone and tapped a few things. "She doesn't have quite the stats of the fox rogue but I use her in all parties."

Jaguar chuckled softly and drummed his claws on his desk. "Tonight's the night. The insurance came through, the sprucing up is done, and the word has gone out. Everyone has promised they'll be there, just to appreciate all the space."

"Everyone indeed, even the frequent flakes. Rose and Simon, Nancy and Thomas, even the Martens have said they'd come. I hear Princess Weaselton is even going to be there, lone-jilling it," Travis said with a slight lowering of his voice.

"Don't count on it. I passed the shop and Meister was giving her high holy darkness about going out to the place. She has a good head on her shoulders, I suspect she'll listen to him."

Travis shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe... least weasels have a chip on their shoulders most of the time, or so it's often been said. Other spring-weasels tend to give them a wide berth if they set their mind to something. A forward jill like Princess might just do it."

"I'm not about to get into the middle of a family dispute. I have enough soft pressure from my own family. 'Ay, mijito, un oso?' Sí, mama, un oso. It's not their business who I date. It's not like I'm bringing shame on the family by living in disgrace. I intend to marry her, we intend to have children. With a dozen little osogato nietos crawling around her paws she'll hardly care."

"I'm a little upset at how quickly my family accepted Ermintrude, because I know exactly why they were so okay with it. Dreyson money makes friends very quickly. I should probably be insulted, when dad tells me how proud he is his son 'landed a great catch,' like Ermintrude was just a fat skipjack. Maybe it's because she's wider than me but not a muscle-crazed berserker like a badger or wolvertine or ratel. Little secret, a lot of the spring-weasels have a low-key love for weighty women, as a plump jill is a healthy jill. And, well... Ermintude is one cozy lady. So is Ursula, if I can say so about your lady."

"Say it all you like. I love it when someone compares her to a Jack Savage lady. It's sometimes hard to think how lucky I am. My family has no idea how happy she makes me," Jaguar confessed, looking to a photo of the two of them on his desk.

"I hear Gideon say that a lot. And yeah... I feel the same way. Hard not to. I don't remember you having a hard time but Gideon and I both assumed we'd end up in some kind of trouble, not involved in great romances."

"Well, things are as they are. We should just enjoy them. Like tonight. Are you bringing anything?" Jaguar asked.

"Big Daddy donated a platter of walnuts and plums, and Ermintrude is going to bake a plum pudding, maybe two. I don't have a knack for that kind of thing, I'm a basic bachelor cook. I hear Attie and Martin are bringing fried fish and fried vegetables. They'll have big signs to say which is which and promise to keep them strictly separate," Travis said with a chuckle.

"I'm in a similar state. Ursula has said she's going to bring a strudel, but not what kind. Possibly apple, but she might make it peach, put some money into your wife's pocket," Jaguar chuckled.

"You laugh but it means our future is secure and we can have all the children we desire," Travis said.

"And Ursula being a doctor means much the same. But for now... is it my imagination or have we been light on work today?"

"It happens. Legal advice, accounting and contract witnessing aren't always a needed set of skills. I have something working but until..."

"Mr Dreyson, Kenny just picked up the mail, and you got... wow, are you a book editor in your spare time?" Sylvia asked with a note of humor, dropping a huge manilla envelope onto his desk, which fairly bulged with papers.

"Some days it sure feel like it," Travis replied with a chuckle. He opened it up and gave a quick look at the intimidating stack of papers. "When Ermintrude and I... well, simultaneously confessed mutual feelings and got engaged, she was showing around a Zootopian fruit distributor named Miss Ayotoch. They were looking into a bigger kind of deal, and after quite a long process of negotiating, here's the contract they want to go with. It's long, sure, but they took their own sweet time getting it here."

"You know Zootopia, it's all rush and fuss until a company gets involved. It's why I live here now. It's slow but in the good way. Plus, no more Tundratown chill," Sylvia noted.

"At least you had the fur for it," Travis grumbled. "I probably don't have to tell you, but stay out of Tundratown if you can avoid it. My roommates liked going there because the fish was always fresh, but it hardly mattered if it was almost frozen."

"I stayed squarely in the Rainforest District. Warm, humid, rainy. I do miss it sometimes, but this is my true home. This flat land of temperate weather is where I want to stay. And with Ursula here, I don't have any reason to go anywhere else," Jaguar said firmly.

"I'm gonna have to look this over. This is big. The family can expand even more into Zootopia, and I can really show off my worth. Give Big Daddy results and he respects the glow out of you. I'm not quite his favorite son, but I get things done and he loves it."

"That's an intimidating contract. Can you get through it all today?" Jaguar asked.

"I'd better. I don't want to put things off, and the faster I look through it the faster I help the family. It's standard, printed on one page, big margins, and they didn't even bother with really small print. It's an optical illusion that it's too big to do in one sitting. It'll just take me a bit longer than the average. I'll be there, just a little late. You don't have to worry about me. Enjoy the place. Encourage the Martens to speak, like any new couple, offer encouragement and sharing. Gideon will be there to keep things going smoothly, he had the same leadership training I did."

"It hardly seems right to start things off without you, but life is like that. We'll be expecting you. Will Ermintrude be delayed too?"

"I'll ask her to go without me. She probably will, she understands how important this is. I think she might be showing Jules around the place, but no guarantees. He's still in his mode of pretending he has no idea everyone knows he's an Outsider. It's almost funny."

"Are you going to need me to stay here with you, Mr. Dreyson?" Kenneth asked, hopping into view.

"Nah, that's fine, Kenneth. It's a boring contract and I can make my own coffee if I need it," Travis said. "You enjoy your evening."

"If the Martens are closed I'll just have to see about something else to do for dinner. Maybe I'll go home, they always have plenty."

"There's free food at the thing they've got going on tonight, you can just show up, listen to a few speeches and sneak off before they ask you up," Sylvia said with a grin.

"This is an important network for folks who get marginalized in society. Especially here, it pains me to say. While your uncle wasn't entirely right, he wasn't entirely wrong either, Jaguar," Travis said. "And you can't just cheat the system, you do have to sign in and pay dues. This is a tight-knit community. It's not the vastness of Tundratown. You stand out very clearly around here, Miss Arctica."

"First meeting is free, I know all about it. I was just suggesting it as a way to get a free bite. I understand it's important but it's an opportunity. Sometimes those shouldn't be passed up," Sylvia responded.

"I never thought I'd say something so offensive, but you give foxes a bad name," Jaguar noted.

"Now hold on, Sylvia is just being honest about how she feels about things," Kenneth said, stepping up to stand between Sylvia and their bosses. "It's kind of unusual but she's not hurting anyone, and the first time really is free. I've heard you say so. Maybe there are better ways but it's not such a terrible thing. Not like she's saying to steal all the food and do it every week. Some Zootopia folk just like to act a little wild."

"Thank you, Kenny. I mean, I didn't need the defense, but I'm glad someone understands. I'd like to add, I did grow up a little on the poor side in the big city, and I puzzled out a very... pragmatic way of going through the world," Sylvia explained.

"You take a little bit too much joy in your... pragmatism," Travis grumbled.

"I won't say it's a fox thing, because Mr. Ovine proves it isn't a fox thing. But foxes do have a certain amount of residual low status stigma, as the intellectuals say, and that means if we're raised in certain situations we can have a rather flexible view of appropriateness."

"And act like terrible mammals," Jaguar muttered.

"Okay, I'm not perfect, maybe I don't fit in right with Bunnyburrow," Sylvia yapped. "But I made a choice to move here and I stayed here even when it got tough, before you gave me this job. And yes, I'm grateful that you and Mr. Manchas gave me this job but I've always had a personality based on being a little silly and very loose with how serious I am."

"You should accept her personality. She's not hurting anyone, and I happen to like her way. It goes on well with the Peaceground way. The watering hole of the world is vast and we all have to learn to live with the mammal that drinks beside us," Kenneth said.

"I mean... he has a point. It's more explicit in that Peaceground religion, but you know very well the Convocation teaches us about generous allowances for our differences. Predators can be very different in terms of diet, say," Travis said to Jaguar.

"There's still a difference between eating fish or bugs and being arrogant and prideful about being antisocial. But... you're right. I'll get used to her attitude at some point," Jaguar said, slumping down in his chair.

"Cheer up. Just forget that and think about having a date with Dr. Arctos, enjoying the fellowship and the brand new barn."

"Well, it's hard to deny the good feeling from being with Ursula. We'll be sure to enjoy the new location. It's finally sized right for her," Jaguar mused.

"That's the spirit!" Travis said. He looked down at the contract, then over to his employees. "Meanwhile... back to work everyone. I don't know about everyone else, but I've got a lot to do..."

o o o

"Testing, testing! Bobby, how are we looking?" Sharla asked, glancing aside from the podium to a low place beside the stage they had constructed.

Bobby was fiddling with the wires on a mixing board, slowly nodding his head before closing it back up. "Sounded good, it should be fine. How's it sounding, Jenny?"

"Works just fine up here!" Jenny called down from the loft, straining her usually quiet voice in order to be heard.

"Okay, that's the sound system. The elevator works, the lights have been wired, and we got a pretty decent internet signal set up. Everyone who wants to use it can pay in to cover the monthly fee," Sharla said with a broad smile.

"And I didn't even have to call my father," Bobby noted with a hint of pride.

"I'm still on the fence about how happy I am about that," Sharla said. "But the important thing is, we got it all done, just in time. Folks should start coming around soon enough, and then we can get to the activities."

"Sooner than you think, darlin'," Gideon said, coming through the doors carrying a tray with three still-steaming pies. "Plenty of other folks were just behind me." He set the tray down on a long table set up along one wall and set to work cutting the pies into wedges. The spiced smell of apple, berry-carrot and malted oat and timothy hay wafted through the barn as he pulled out a wedge of each and settled them onto paper plates.

Next through the doors were Jaguar and Ursula, who nodded at the size and spaciousness of the location. "Now this is more like it. All the room I need, with no fears of running into anyone or otherwise causing some kind of unfortunate incident. A doctor should strive to be socially proper."

"And privately less," Jaguar said with a low rumble and smile up at Ursula.

"Quiet you," Ursula hissed, setting down the tray she was carrying. "I don't mean to steal any of your thunder, Gideon, but I made an old family recipe. Peach strudel."

"Not a problem at all, Dr. Arctos. More food for everyone," Gideon said.

"And more than that besides!" A cheerful voice cried from the entrance. A pair of smaller mammals entered the barn, both hauling along a metal cart stacked with aluminum trays throwing off the scent of fish and grease. The one who had spoken was a petite example of the European beech marten, standard light brown with a white splotch from under her chin and down her chest, into the frilly top she was wearing. It was white and all ruffles, like something out of a medieval fair. It missed covering her midriff and showed the white didn't go past her upper chest. Her lower attire was also very antiquated, being puffy-legged pantaloons in black with vertical gray stripes which turned into a more standard pant below the knee to the ankle.

Beside her was a most unusually large mouse, an anomaly similar in proportion to Bongo and Zeke, with an understated musculature that leaned toward someone that had been to the gym but worked out mostly through just living and being active. He was a similar brown to his wife, with a white front as well, though it was more a soft cream color. He was also dressed a bit archaically, in a loose purple jerkin and purple leggings. "Naturally, fish and bug food is on Attie's side, and the vegetables are on mine. I can and do eat both but don't worry, we kept them strictly divided. How... ironic."

"Some divisions make sense, others don't. You have to learn to be grown up about things and accept the difference," Ursula said, leaning down once the Martens reached the food table. "May I help you with that?"

"Oh thank you, Doctor Arctos, that would be a great help," Attie cheerfully chittered. "Martin could manage, but I don't want him to strain overly much. He does that enough at work."

"I mean, there's scaffolding around the back and hefting them is nothing for me, but if Attie says take it easy, that's what I'll do," Martin commented, flexing one arm to show off a good amount of muscular definition once it was being displayed.

"He's supremely competent at all tasks," Attie giggled, fanning herself as she looked over her husband.

Ursula chuckled softly as she set the foil trays on the table with the proper labels clearly visible. "He seems like a good guy. But at the meetings we should strive for comfort and freedom. Ease."

"I dunno. I worked hard all my life, tried to make the best I could of being out here. I don't really relax that much," Martin admitted, pulling the empty cart under the table to get it out of the way.

"He's always working around the house or the shop. It's why we only hire part timers. I swear, that man of mine is going to run himself ragged," Attie said, having climbed up onto the table to better talk with Usula.

"Even with all the hours he puts in I'm glad Jaguar has an office job. He's a strong mammal, certainly, but it affords him a bit of rest," Ursula replied with a nod.

"Mental work is still work," Jaguar noted, coming into the barn beside Ermintrude. He was carrying a platter of walnuts and sliced plums, while Ermitrude carried two steaming, dark-colored plum puddings.

"Mm-MM! Missus Dreyson your plum pudding is always a delight. I'm a bit biased, I love me some plums but it's true," Gideon said, licking his lips as he regarded the steamed desserts.

"Well thank you, Gideon! Coming from you, that means a lot," Ermintrude said.

"You outta sell them in my shop. I won't mind at all."

"I'm not a professional, just a home cook. I couldn't possibly do what you do every day," Ermintrude noted with a shy wave.

"I wouldn't mind havin' 'em in once in a while. They'd sell quick by the slice. If you ever change your mind just let me know."

Other members filtered in, and were greeted by Sharla, who had come down from the stage to the door, carrying a tablet. She entered names and checked the status of those that came in, as well as giving a quick introduction to the ones who were new, getting information so they could pay the next time they came in.

Later, once things had been settled, folks had eaten and the time for the meeting had arrived, everyone stood around the edges of the barn or sat at the rows of variously sized chairs facing the stage. There was enough room that no one needed to be up in the loft when everyone was arranged for speeches.

Gideon stepped up to the microphone and waited for Jenny to give him the cue, though the slight hiss of the speakers coming on also told him when to speak. "Evenin', y'all. Most of ya know me. Gideon Ovine, one of the leaders of the Interspecies Relationship Support Network's Tri-Burrow chapter. Normally my friend Travis would be here to talk but he's busy at the office, and told me I could do it. He'd like ta be here but, life is like that sometimes. I'd like ta welcome y'all, old members and new, to a place where mammals understand ya. We respect ya. Yer special and yer safe here. We all want ya ta feel welcome, and feel like this is where ya can go fer a comfortable group-a mammals.

"We've got some new folks, so Sharla tells me. Oh, if ya don't know, fer out-of-towners, Sharla's my beautiful wife, the sheep that got yet information and deals with all the... techno gewgaws around the place. If ya got issues, ya see her. But, there's not all that much ta say. We don't got many plans, all the focus and money was put into the barn, so right now we're just focusin' on the meetings. But, we'll have more fun stuff later. Outings fer picnics, little trips into Zootopia, projects we might wanna do.

"But fer now, we've got some new faces that joined up, and we always open things up fer them ta talk about whatever they like. We got a schedule, but if ya'd rather not, that's fine too. We're still here for ya. Accordin' to the notes, we're startin' with the Martens. So if ya feel like it, come on up. Here's Martin and Attie Marten."

The two mentioned came up to the stage to the sounds of polite applause. Gideon slid a few graduated boxes up in front of the podium to allow the two to get near enough to the microphone to use it.

"Hello there. I'm sure most of you predators and a few prey know us. If not we're the Martens. I'm Attie, this is my husband Martin, and we run Attie and Martin Marten's Fish and Chips. It's been embraced by the community and that, well, that feels good. It's the kind of acceptance I never would have expected. I'm just out from Predburrow, you see, and we didn't have a lot of respect until really recently. I'd always heard Bunnyburrow was sort of a nice place. And after I met Martin and told him what I wanted out of life, he did something I didn't ever think prey would do. He respected my dream. He helped me make it come true.

"I was unsure about joining this group because, well, I always just made it on my own. As an Outsider I kept my head down, kept to myself and made as little fuss as possible. There wasn't more than a paw's worth of mammals at our wedding and it was as simple as possible. It felt like isolation and quietness made more sense. But the more and more successful we got, the more I realized how good it felt to be attached to a community. With this new barn, well, it seemed like a good time to join up, be among folks that really understood what it's like to love a little differently than expected."

Martin stepped up to the microphone after his wife waved him up, and he waited for the applause her speech had generated to die down before he began. "I'm not good with speeches, so I'll say I wasn't keen on joining because of my past. I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a loner, and I was just a scruffy drifter. I went along with a wolf-sized butterfly knife across my back, doing odd jobs and sleeping where I could. I was in Predburrow when some self defense broke my knife, and I had nothing but a blade and some handle bits. Attie was there. She took me in for the night, so I thought. She treated me like a proper mammal. In the morning, she didn't want me to go. She had a home, she had space, she had a dream. I threw out my wreck of a knife and never left her side since.

"I don't know if I really fit in here. Who I loved was always my business. I love Attie and that's it. But if it makes her feel good, and I can see it does, then being here is one of the finest things we've done. I don't need to be accepted, but I can't help it, it really does feel good. Thanks for listening," Martin said, stepping back to embrace Attie to a louder round of applause and some coos from those who found it sweet.

"Well now, ain't that sweet? I never knew that. Thank ya fer sharin', both of ya. That's why we're here. We're here fer all the folk that want to be welcome. Even if ya still don't feel quite right in Bunnyburrow, we're here," Gideon said, checking his clipboard after Marin and Attie climbed down from the podium. "Now the next one says... Princess Weaselton? Oh... gotta 'nother note here. Lone-jillin'. And a first time. Oh. Well, hope ya like it. If ya feel a little... more than zero, like some folks say, then I hope ya come back. Next up, we got another first-timer, Sylvia D. Arc-"

"You can skip her, she's here for the food," Jaguar called out, interrupting Gideon.

"Oh? Ya sure?'

"She said so herself at the office."

"Well... foxes can be good at getting' food. It's a bit much fer a buffet but if ya come back, remember ta pay," Gideon said with some coolness. "Well, next up we got some very busy folk, but they're here today. Our blushin' soon-to-be-weds, Simon Spikel and the widow Rose Baumkuchen." Gideon yielded the stage to an older couple, a very petite pink pig woman in a simple red dress and a very grand-looking hedgehog in a finely tailored suit, which included pressed heavy wool trousers and matching jacket, a crushed velvet waistcoat and a silk shirt.

o o o

Travis checked his watch and sighed. That contract... he'd gotten through it, noted all areas that needed clarification and places that would have been a bit bad for the family and marked everything for renegotiation and clarification. It was the least he could do, lobbing the huge lump of paper and ink back for them to deal with.

It was already fully dark as he made his way up the road to the barn. It was something of a walk but in the Burrows walking was something that no one ever complained about. He still passed some parked cars, most probably from the out-of-towners who had been encouraged by the extra space and the celebratory nature of the first meeting in the barn.

As he approached the first thing that struck him was the smell. Fire. He hadn't heard about any plans for a bonfire or some kind of cookout. Then the screaming. That sound put his limbs into motion and he was off like a shot. The smoke grew thicker, and the night was lit up with a dancing light. An intense sea of red drew him to the barn, where he saw the horrifying sight that he had hoped was a mistake.

The barn was an inferno. The flames licked up over the freshly painted walls, and smoke billowed out from every opening. The blaze cast a wavering, ominous light over the scene of chaos. The members of the support network were all arrayed on the ground outside of the bar, coughing, trembling, holding onto each other. Dr. Arctos was rushing between them, checking on their conditions. Gideon, Martin, Jaguar and a few others were using a secondary tap in a futile effort at fighting the blaze, filling buckets and tossing them onto the fire.

Travis stood there, stunned, until it finally struck him to scream out, "Ermintrude!"

"Travis!" Ermintrude leaped up from where she had been and ran over to him, wrapping him in an almost crushing embrace. "Oh Travis... it..."

"What happened here..?" Travis asked, whispering the question into Ermintrude's ear as he held her.

"We were just having speech time. Jules was stammering his way through saying he wasn't an Outsider except he was, and then we smelled the smoke. Bobby checked his wiring but it didn't seem to be coming from where he looked. We didn't panic until we started feeling the heat. The whole outside was going up by the time we got out. Everyone got out, but we had to keep everyone from trampling over smaller folks. Mr. Marten protected his wife and Gideon helped direct folk in the most orderly way. We were really choking by the time we all managed to get out. It really went up..."

Sharla rushed up to the two. "I just called the fire department. They're not that far out. But... how could this happen?"

"Out first meeting here... and it's gone," Travis whispered, looking at the barn burning, the timbers crackling and snapping, roof collapsing into the ruined structure and truly showing the devastation as it was consumed.

Author's Notes

Attie and Martin's stories- As noted, these two are supremely loosely based on Redwall notions. Now, the story is very similar to any number of romance stories about the gruff lone-wolf drifter and the lonely woman who get on well together. Martin with his butterfly knife is similar to Mossflower, breaking the weapon and all. But this one gave up on a violent way to dedicate himself to a loving relationship. Attie is a bit more obscure, being loosely named after the only female pine marten (though she is the smaller beech marten) who was a villain but one of those villains that are noted for being loyal and dedicated to their orders who are killed by nastier villains. Here this is reflected by her more retiring, solitary bearing. Fun fact: She was originally going to be a ferret named Romy, after the only acknowledged penitent ferret, but I already had Travis, and besides, ferrets are kind of large.

More than Zero- A phrase cooked up by and made narrowly popular by the Support Network, based on the scale of interspecies romantic feeling, Zero being none and any more more than zero having that kind of feeling.