Karasuno High School Referral Form
Name: (Name)
Class: 2-3
Reason for Referral: Overreacting to American Holidays
Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not come to school dressed as an American pilgrim instead of wearing my school uniform. I will not take my role as a pilgrim seriously by speaking strangely and claiming to be almost 400 years old or argue with the teachers by saying "thou shall not keep me from mine duties". I will not wander off in the middle of mathematics claiming that the cows need tending to. I will not wander over to the running track and scream in agony because "the fields have been ravaged". I will not weep during lunch because 'they young'uns are eating e'rything in sight' or 'we shall starve during the winter months'. This was inappropriate.
When the volleyball team loads up onto the bus to go to Nekoma for practice matches, I will not continue with my 'ridiculous charade'. I will not entertain my teammates with stories of the Mayflower and complain about how "the colony's (Karasuno's) lands are quite pitiful". I will not poke at Noya's hair and ask what witchcraft he dabbled in.
Once at Nekoma, I will not exit the ugly yellow ship and mutter about the "newfangled contraptions". That was not very pilgrim-like. When the team enters the gym I will not point and scream "the Indians!" and hide behind Asahi.
I will not follow Kenma until he becomes uncomfortable and whisper "witchcraft" and then run when Daichi comes to collect me. When Coach Ukai suggests I go take a breather outside, I will not call him 'Chief Pilgrim' as that was probably not historically correct.
When I feel it is time and I have collected my thoughts, I will not burst into the gym holding turkey carcasses and yell "the feast will take place!" This was also inappropriate.
I have shamed my family, my school, and myself with my actions. I will no longer be allowed to be a pilgrim on Thanksgiving. I will apologize to my classmates, my teachers, my teammates, Nekoma's coaches and players – especially Kenma, and apologize to whoever/whatever I got the turkeys from. I was not a good pilgrim, student, 2nd year, or member of the volleyball team. I will make up for my wrongdoings and write a three thousand-word essay on why I did a bad thing.
On the plus side, the Wal-Mart turkeys I had shipped over for today made for an excellent feast. Maybe I'll give one to Nekoma's team. Turkey is delicious and a sign of peace and friendship, right? Yeah. Sounds good.
Anyway, I will not be allowed to be a pilgrim ever again.
Maybe next year I'll be Squanto.
Student Signature: (Name)
Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei
AN: Happy Thanksgiving guys! Thanks for reading!