Starscream strutted along the peach side, Megatron still swallowing down the sand that his former SIC had crammed into his intake. Tarn shook in rage at this unforgivable disrespect. If Megatron hadn't banned Starscream from being on The List, he would have been slaughtered mercilessly ages ago, probably two seconds after he joined.

"Listen up, lads," the screechmaster said, looking Tarn directly in the bikini tit (because he's short). "I came all the way from Cybertron to free you of your little infestation," he sneered, casually snapping Tesaurs's's bikini strap, "but you'll owe me for it!"

"Infestation?" Kaon questioned, nervous.

"THESE," Starscream screeched, grabbing Optimus prime by the swim trousers and yanking them off of him. Everybody gasped!

"Those were my favorites!" Optimus exclamated.

"Uh, wait, wrong ones, I mean THESE" Starscream started tearing Cylonus's bikini off when it suddenly had eyes. They spoke in a deep voice, "What do you think you are meddling with, you wretch?"

Starsneer sneered. "You see? You see?! YOU SEE?/ You're all being mind controlled and IM the only one who can save you!" He jabbed his servo in the direction fo the bini and looked at the others for validation.

Nobody thought he was valid, however.

"What are you jabbering about, starscream?" Megatron grubmed, finally getting on his feet. He was all sandy and his boxers looked up at Starscream. "This was our one vacation day allowed to us by cubertron! Why are you ruining it!? I was going to get laid by three mechs at once!"

"Really!?", Rodimus, Optimus, and Tarn simultaneously said (but only Tarn was unenthusiastic- Megpai was HIS, goddamnit!)

"Really", Megatron said, crossing his arms and looking very buff and handsome.

Starscream was ready to purge his fuel tanks, he was pissed. Absolutely mifffed, right completely gotdamn ANGERY. His chest fans were whirring because if they didn't hed probably start smoking.

"UGHH", he screamed.

"FINE, YOURE MORONS SO ILL BE RIGHT BACK", he stomped away.

Back to the dramma the really matters, what we're all here for, to see Tarn tear his owl cosplay off to lick Megsies's neck cables. Kaon pulled on Tarn's arm to get the big boy's attention.

"This is yoru chance! Get him before the others do!"

"YES," Tarn blasted, prancing up to megatron's side.

"Meggy, you can do so much better than these losers, please," he begged, "I'm bigger! I'm purple! I'm not a fucking bitchass wimp whoo wants to talk to governments instead of killing them! You have GOT to pick me only, pleeeeeeeease?"

Megatron stroked his robot goatee. "Hmm, I mean-"

"Shut up and stop what you're doing!" Cyclonus stepped forward and met Tarn chest to chest, "I challenge you….To a sing off."

Tarn froze…..Suddenly, Kaon sent him a comms message

K: do it.

T: why?

K: just do it. You'll impress megatron! Also you're hottest when you sing because I don't have eyes.

T: True….Megatron would like to see me crush an autobob….Then he'll fuck me…

K:So DO IT.

[[Back in real time]]

"I'll do it," Tarn said, in a manly and cool manner. Cyclonus looked like he was about to do a happy dance.

Lucky for them, the beach had a stge on it big enough for the cybertronins. The mechas were all still wearing their bikinies, but this time they had cute frills and flowers decorating all of them. Cyclonus had high heels and a wig.

All of the Lost Light Losers and the DJD gathered in front, holding pom poms and foam fingers of their favorite singers. Perceptor sat in the back with swerve, who had a giant band aid over his missing hand (see, he's nod dead).

Cyc took the stage first, singing the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody all by himself. Somehow he pulled it off, and everyone there cried near the end. Tailgate woke up from his nap in the hole just to sob about it. Tailgates tears wetting the ground behind him, Cyclonus had to walk off of the stage with a midget clinging to his leg.

Next was Tarn's turn, and honest, he was nervous. That last thing was really good. He'll have to step up his game.

Tarn shuffled onto stage. All six people who actually liked him started cheering for him to start imemdiately and shut right the hell up when he finally opened him mouth.

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen

Friday night and the lights are low

Looking out for the place to go

Where they play the right music, getting in the swing

You come in to look for a king

Anybody could be that guy

Night is young and the music's high

With a bit of rock music, everything is fine

You're in the mood for a dance

And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen

Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on

Leave them burning and then you're gone

Looking out for another, anyone will do

You're in the mood for a dance

And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen

Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen

The croud was emotional. And then the crowd looked stifled. A few people sitting in front died because the singing was so beautfiul (notbecause tarn killed them with his voice). There was a pause after he ended and then the crowd SCREAMED.

Tarn teared up. They loved him….They really loved him! He looked at megatron, who nodded at him and smirked and-

Tarn woke up. He had fainted after singing. There were dead bodies everywhere and the stage was on fiare. What happend?

Elsewhere... Starscream was steaming into his phone. "SHOCKWAVE, they wont LISTEN to meeee! The """"clothes"""" talked liek you said but they were kind of scary."

"Well," Shockwave said, he sounded tired. He always sounded tired, Starscream though. "Have you tried fighting them?"

Starscream was OFFENDED. "Me? A weak noodle man who is more useful telling other people what to do than doing things, fighting an ARMY?" He growled, "What the heck do you take me for, a common commoner?"

Shockwave signed and tapped a button "Fine. I'll send help, but he won't be happy. We need to get gegatron prepared."

Starscream snapped his phone shut and huffed. He looked at hte fire in the distance. Hoefully Shockwave sent competnet people instead of cheap knockoffs like genericons or steves. Starscream was so tired of steves. Steves and bobs and jefferies and ricks- god, FUCK ricks!

Starscream thought of megatron. Fuck him too. He daydreamed a little about that phrase in a literal sense, and jogged off to a properly sized bush to juice his baby generating tube.