Chapter 26 – Journey to Afghanistan
A/n: Hello everyone :) Glad you enjoyed the previous chapter and I hope you find this one just as good.
youwannabekate: So would I! It would be a completely priceless moment. My love of facts came through for that bit but I'm glad the information is good. It might take them a while and the elephant may gain a second tutu during that time. Toni's reluctant to talk about Howard at all and Steve's still trying to fit in Toni's offhand comments into his own image of Howard. Kisses, Karma :)
Booklover2526: I'm glad it was awesome :D Well I can't have anything against people who are bisexual as I'm pansexual which is similar but not quite the same. And yes they do have an overwhelming lack of representation which is why a lot of my characters end up bi.
Ashtree1165: I always update soon and that sounds like what I do at night because I just read stories instead of sleeping
FallenDownTheRabbitHole: Hello new reviewer! /waves/ Anyway I'm glad you love it and hope you enjoy this chapter.
paisley15: Yay, coming from you I am taking that as a big compliment. Yeah, I really don't like Christine Everheart much because she ignores Tony on several occasions, when he says he's not his company, in that scene, etc…
ReadPaxJoy: Thank you very much. Glad you love it
TheGiggleMonster: Yeah, well my idea is that he was essentially a better person originally but gradually became worse over the years culminating in neglect of Toni/Tony. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he will be in it.
XxxBellaBellaxxX: Iron Man is going to be very Steve heavy but hopefully he'll stop making insensitive ones soon /yup/ I couldn't resist the wolf whistle.
skywright: That was always going to happen and I don't have the time to check it over really. And some of those his' are probably not related to Toni because gender pronouns in a sentence can be read several different ways. I don't deny some of them will be mistakes though.
LaNaturalBreezeOf-Books: I watch the movies so often that the little things are what catch my eyes. Plus with subtitles you don't need to focus on making out what they're saying as much. A lot :D But feel free to say it again 3 Hahaha :) Flustering people = :D
Toni was finding the results of this scene hilarious. She was pretty sure that Clint's eyes were glazed over and Steve kept opening and shutting his mouth as if meaning to say something but not being able to force it out. The rest of the group didn't seem all that bothered for obvious reasons but the reactions of those two were more than enough to keep Toni amused. Especially since Steve's cheeks were steadily growing redder and redder as he blushed at the mere sight of Toni sleeping with another woman. It wasn't that he was bigoted he just didn't really know how to deal with seeing things like this. It was just awkward.
Later on a dishevelled and undressed Christine was the only one in the bed lying underneath the covers somewhat tastefully. Toni was nowhere to be seen.
"You left as soon as she fell asleep didn't you," Bruce said sympathetically realising that with Toni's extreme case of insomnia in which her brain kept her awake until she literally dropped she would find it uncomfortable to stay in the room with a sleeping fling.
"Pretty much yeah," Toni said sadly, "most of them don't really care anyway and the ones that do just get offended. Not like I can help it as they'd think watching them sleep was creepy. You just can't win with these people."
Steve gave her a look which was akin to pity. He hadn't realised quite how empty those one night stands had left Toni feeling. Sure she played them up in public and was blatantly unabashed when asked about them but it was clear that they actually affected her more than she let on. He supposed it could be the knowledge that none of them really wanted her specifically.
Suddenly the lights powered on and JARVIS began to speak causing Christine's eyes to jolt open in shock, "Good morning! It's 7:00 am. The weather in Malibu is 72 degrees with scattered clouds," here JARVIS powered up the windows stopping them from projecting blackness into the room and revealing the ocean view, "The surf conditions are fair with waist-to-shoulder high lines. High tide will be at 10:52 am."
"I still remember the first time I heard JARVIS talking," Natasha recalled, "I knew Toni had an AI as it was one of the few things that weren't wiped from the file as it's kind of common knowledge. But I didn't know the scale!"
Christine wrapped one of the bed sheets around herself and walked towards the window which was displaying all sorts of data about the weather conditions that JARVIS hadn't articulated. As the shot zoomed backwards it revealed a mansion that was hanging off the side of a cliff. The whole thing appeared to glow in the Malibu sunlight as it was purely made out of glass and white materials with the only flicker of colour being the swimming pool. As the words 'Malibu, California,' were displayed on the screen.
"Why don't you live there full time?" Clint said practically drooling over the sight of the mansion. It was pretty incredible architecturally.
"I get bored if I'm on one place for too long," Toni informed him, "but until I moved to New York almost fulltime that was my most permanent residence. It's by far one of the most pleasant of my houses."
"How many houses do you own Lady Toni?" Thor asked.
"I don't know the exact number but it was over thirty the last time I thought to check," Toni said after contemplating the question briefly.
"You don't know how many houses you have," Bruce said disbelievingly.
"People keep attempting to bribe me to do one of three things, go back into the weapon's business, hand over the plans to the Iron Man suit and the arc reactor or give them majority shares in my company. I am willing to do none of these things but as these people try to pass their bribes off as 'gifts' they can't take them back without looking suspicious and some of them have been known to give me their summer homes which I usually end up rebuilding on the site. You will not believe the interior design decisions some of these people make."
Christine walked through the house having pulled on a pair of underwear and a designer shirt both of which probably actually belonged to Toni. "Toni?" she called out as she walked out into a lounge area, "hey, Toni?"
"One of the few who actually came looking for me," Toni acknowledged, "I quite liked her fire but she's sometimes not a very pleasant person. Then again I can't really talk as I'm sometimes not a very nice person either."
She walked around for a while examining all of the art that Toni had up on the walls when she came across an access panel to one of the lower levels. She contemplated her next move for a moment before reaching out and touching the dial on the panel.
"Bad idea," the Avengers shouted along with Phil. They'd had bad experiences with some of Toni's traps which stopped people who weren't authorised getting into her labs.
"I didn't build anything nasty into them until I got back from Afghanistan," Toni informed the group.
The door access device flashed red and beeped loudly causing Christine to jump back, "you are not authorised to access this area," JARVIS informed her dangerously.
"Jesus," Christine said backing away.
"That's JARVIS. He runs the house," Piper said from behind her. He was dressed in a sharp business suit but the image of professionalism was somewhat ruined by the dry cleaning bag that he carried.
The others looked at Toni to see how she would react to seeing a version of Piper for this first time since she had broken up with him but she didn't even flinch. Toni didn't seem to mind seeing Piper in the films which was probably a relief as they had a feeling that she would mind a lot of the rest of it.
"I've got your clothes here. They've been dry-cleaned and pressed," Piper continued clearly unimpressed with Christine, "and there's a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you'd like to go."
"Efficient," Clint said, "I'll give him that," he hadn't been particularly fond of Piper because the first time he had met the Avengers (excluding Natasha) he had apparently hated them on sight for no apparent reason. Clint could of course now guess with almost 100% accuracy that it was because he was jealous of how well they could relate to the 'new' Toni.
"You must be the famous Piper Potts," Christine reasoned as she walked towards him.
"Indeed I am," Piper confirmed.
"After all these years, Toni still has you picking up the dry-cleaning," Christine said taking the bag containing her clothes.
"She's attempting to claim superiority over Piper on the virtue that she slept with me," Toni laughed, "I'm pretty sure that Piper would pretty far down in the business if everyone I've slept with outranked him."
"I do anything and everything Miss Stark requires," Piper said in a perfectly pleasant voice, "including, occasionally, taking out the trash. Will that be all?"
"Yeah Piper has clearly spent too much time hanging around with you," Natasha acknowledged, "That was a good dig at Miss Everhart."
Back in the lab Toni was working on the engine of one of her classic cars with blaring rock music in the background that would probably deafen anybody else who came into the room. In the background Piper could be seen beginning to walk down the stairs just as Toni began to scan the engine telling JARVIS, "give me an exploded view."
"I have a feeling you're delaying something for your beloved cars again," Natasha predicted.
"There is no reason not to blow something off for a car okay. Cars are works of pure machinery, everything has its place and if you want maximum horsepower and efficiency without any natural under or oversteer then you need to keep them there. And making changes to a car like a Bugatti Veyron to make it go even faster than it could already is a thrill of the highest order. I like thrills. Hence I love cars," Toni said passionately.
"The compression in cylinder three appears to be low," JARVIS informed her bringing the schematic of it up on a screen.
"Log that," she told the AI distractedly reaching for something else as Piper entered the room shutting down the music and talking on his phone, "please don't turn down my music!"
"You didn't even turn around and that music was loud until it was switched off," Steve said incredulously.
"I don't like people sneaking up on me now but I had that before I went to Afghanistan," Toni told him, "it was far from the first kidnapping I went through. I'm the daughter of a billionaire after all."
"I'll keep you posted," Piper closed the phone call before turning to Toni, "You are supposed to be halfway around the world right now."
"You were putting off flying to somewhere halfway across the world to work on a car," Clint said in a monotone, "what worries me is that I can actually believe that you would do that."
"I prefer my workshop to public appearances any day," Toni said simply, "I wish they would just let me name a spokesperson or something so I can get out of them but it would look weird after going myself all this time."
"How'd she take it?" Toni diverted.
"Like a champ," Piper replied with a slightly bitter tone to his voice.
"Why are you trying to hustle me out of here?" Toni asked still absorbed in her project.
"Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago," Piper told her disapprovingly.
"That's funny, I thought with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me to get there" Toni retorted.
"That is actually a fair point," Natasha acknowledged, "I'll give you that one even if it does make things inconvenient for air traffic control."
"Yeah, well the people I've met in ATC are thoroughly unpleasant so I took great pleasure in making things inconvenient for them," Toni said haughtily.
"Toni, I need to speak to you about a couple of things before I get you out of the door," Piper sighed.
"He knew me so well even back then," Toni laughed although it had a bitter quality to it.
"I mean doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane," Toni continued moving to sit on the wheel arch of the car, "if it departs before you arrive."
"Larry called. He's got another buyer for the Jackson Pollock in the wings. Do you want it? Yes or no," Piper said having grown used to Toni's attempts at misdirection over the years.
"Which subject are they discussing now? The changes are rather abrupt," Thor queried but the others figured the rest of the conversation would answer his question and so didn't tell Toni to give him a reply.
"Is it a good representation of his spring period?" Toni asked.
"No," Piper explained, "The Springs was actually the neighbourhood in East Hampton where he lived and worked," here Toni interrupted with a 'so' which indicated that she probably already knew this, "not 'spring like the season. I think it's a fair example. I think it's incredibly overpriced."
"I need it," Toni said with a blank expression springing to her feet, "Buy it. Store it.
"Why do you need an overpriced painting?" Steve asked puzzled.
"I buy the painting and put it in storage, it leaks out that I consider it worthy enough to have a copy and the prices shoot up. Once I have enough paintings of the same artist I auction them off, the price goes through the roof and all the proceeds go to charity," Toni told him, "I've been running things like that for years.
"Okay," Piper said with a smile, "The MIT commencement speech…"
"Is in June. Please don't harangue me about stuff that's way, way, down…" Toni interrupted clearly not interested in what Piper was now talking about.
"Well they're haranguing me, so I'm gonna say yes," Piper informed her.
"And he just accepts thing on your behalf," Bruce said incredulously. Toni never let anyone order her around even if it was for her own good.
"He knew I was just going to agree to it eventually so it cuts out all the bickering in the middle. We have a system at this point," Toni replied.
"Well deflect it and absorb it. Don't transmit it back to me," Toni said grabbing herself a cup of coffee.
"I guess hacking policies do work elsewhere," Steve said finding this comment amusing.
"I need you to sign this before you get on the plane," Piper said opening a file that she was holding.
"What are you trying to get rid of me for?" Toni said in a teasing voice, "What, you got plans?"
"As a matter of fact I do," Piper told her.
"I don't like it when you have plans," Toni said although she was still clearly teasing.
"So the banter has been around for a while then," Clint observed.
"Practically since I hired him," Toni confirmed.
"I'm allowed to have plans of my birthday," Piper deadpanned clearly thinking she had forgotten.
"Yes," Toni acknowledged, "and that's why your present is waiting back at your penthouse and I've given you full access to the accounts today as usual. Enjoy!"
"That is one hell of a birthday present," Natasha said with a wolf-whistle, "and now I'm having sneaking suspicions about where that Alexander McQueen dress came from on my last birthday."
"I saw you eyeing it and it's not like it even lightly grazes my income," Toni said with a shrug.
"You actually remembered," Piper said stunned.
"Yeah, it's kind of strange. Turns out it's the same day as last year," Toni said feigning shock.
"Even when you're being nice you need to come up with a retort," Bruce laughed. He didn't get why Toni thought she hadn't had good motives back then. And that everyone else seemed to believe that the philanthropist part of her title was just for show as the socialite part clearly was. She was giving endless money to charities back before Afghanistan and before the arc reactor. So, she was inherently a good person even if she sometimes thought otherwise.
"Well then, thank you Miss Stark," Piper said recovering.
"You're welcome, Mr Potts," Toni replied with that she drained the last of her coffee and exited the room with a quick, "okay."
"You never signed that form," Clint pointed out.
"Piper forges my signature more often than I write it myself. And in light of events that occurred after this I doubt the company were worried about whatever was on that form," Toni explained.
Another of Toni's sports cars sped down a road with a black car in hot pursuit. The silver Audi drew to a stop and Toni emerged laughing as Rhodey looked on angrily. "You're good," Toni laughed, "I thought I lost you back there."
"You did, ma'am," Happy informed her removing her luggage from the boot of his car, "I had to cut across Mulholland."
"Ah," Toni exclaimed, "I got you. I got you."
Steve idly wondered why Toni was speeding when her parents had died in a car accident. Surely that should have put her off. Although he supposed that was the normal reaction and he shouldn't expect anything about Toni to be normal.
"What's wrong with you?" Rhodey shouted as the pair made their way over to the plane.
"What?" Toni questioned.
"Three hours," Rhodey stated.
"I got caught doing a piece for Vanity Fair," Toni said giving him a half-truth.
Thor frowned. The more he was watching this the more he noticed similarities between his brother and his teammate. So why had his brother turned out so bad while Toni had managed to become one of Midgard's mightiest heroes? He would have to think more on this when he had more time to himself. He had a feeling the answer was important.
"For three hours," Rhodey reiterated as Toni climbed the steps to the plane, "for three hours you kept me standing here."
"Waiting on you now," Toni told him as she walked past him, "Let's go. Come on! Wheels up, rock and roll."
In the next shot the Stark Industries plane was in the air and cutlery was being laid out by one of the air hostesses whilst Rhodey tried to focus on his paper.
"And Toni's going to start a conversation now," Bruce predicted confidently.
"What you reading, platypus?" Toni began.
"Nothing," Rhodey deflected.
"Come on, sour patch," Toni teased, "Don't be mad."
"Sometimes you make it very easy to be mad at you," Steve decided to interject here which wasn't the best thing in the world he could have said but apparently wasn't bad enough to merit a Natasha glare.
"I told you, I'm not mad. I'm indifferent, okay?" Rhodey insisted weakly.
"I said I was sorry," Toni pointed out as another air hostess approached, "Good morning, Miss Stark."
"I told him I was sorry…" Toni pointed out as Rhodey kept rambling on about being indifferent to anything Toni could do anymore.
"Hot towel?" the air hostess offered clearly used to escapades like this on her flights with Stark Industries.
"I'm starting to think those air hostesses are slightly crazy for taking that job," Bruce joked.
"Probably," Toni said not bothered by the comment, "but they also chose the job because of its benefits. Well, that's the most likely reason. Pays much better than any other job you're going to get with an airline."
"You don't respect yourself so I know you don't respect me," Rhodey told Toni to round up his speech.
"I respect you," Toni deadpanned.
"I'm just your babysitter," Rhodey continued regardless, "So, you know when you need your diaper changed…" the air hostess handed him a hot towel here, "thank you. Let me know and I'll get you a bottle, okay?"
Steve frowned at this comment. Even he knew that Toni didn't like it when people acted like she was being totally irresponsible when acting on misgivings. Maybe if she'd been a little later in arriving in Afghanistan (which is where he assumed she was going) whatever awful deeds were going to be acted upon her after that point would have never happened.
"Hey! Heat up the sake, will you?" Toni said turning to another air hostess completely ignoring Rhodey's last statement, "thanks for reminding me."
"No, I'm not talking about…" Rhodey scrambled to say, "we're not drinking. We're working right now."
"Since when did that ever stop me," Toni said with a smirk. She figured she was going to need a few drinks to get her over this movie. And preferably they would be given to her whilst it was still playing.
"You can't have sashimi without sake," Toni insisted.
"You are constitutionally incapable of being responsible," Rhodey snapped.
The rest of the Avengers flinched along with Steve this time because that had been a low blow considering all that Toni did for him and his military compatriots as well as for charities.
"It would be irresponsible not to drink. I'm just talking about a nightcap," Toni told him.
"Hot sake?" the air hostess asked.
"Yes, two, please," Toni said but Rhodey wasn't backing down just yet, "No. I'm not drinking. I don't want any."
"That was never going to work out around Toni," Natasha pointed out, "she even talked me into having drinks whilst on the job and that's technically against SHIELD policy unless the situation is absolutely essential."
"I guess it's a good thing for you we're leaving SHIELD then," Phil said dropping a bombshell on those who hadn't known that had even been discussed let alone decided on.
A/n: I think my obsessive love of cars came through a bit in one of the sections. I'm a female car geek and I don't give a damn :D Did anyone else wonder why Tony needed a painting? No, just me then. And yes, they officially have decided to quit SHIELD!