Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Read on, oh faithful ones...
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Chapter Thirty-Three
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"You've been avoiding me."
Mouse looked over at Puck, but couldn't deny his words. She swung back and forth on the park's swing set slowly, almost wishing that he hadn't found her here. Granted, she hadn't gone too far from home since Sarah was out picking Candy up from school, but Mouse still thought she'd be able to avoid Puck for another day or two. She especially wished that he didn't sound so hurt and confused; surely they both knew their relationship couldn't last? Everyone knew that long-distance relationships were doomed from the beginning.
"I know what you're going to say, Jane," Puck said, moving to sit on the swing beside her.
"How can you know what I'm going to say?" she asked before he could continue talking.
Puck sighed, wondering if there was a better way to phrase this other than 'please don't let me go'. Mouse's phone rang, startling both of them, and she turned away to answer it. Puck barely heard her side of the conversation, still trying to work out how he wanted to say everything. Mouse hung up from the call with a sigh, and she turned back to Puck.
"I'm really sorry, Puck, but I've got to get back home. Sarah's got a racquetball competition and can't look after Candy."
"That's all right; I'll come with you," he offered.
"No, it's okay. You don't have to do that; I'll be fine on my own," Mouse replied quickly.
She pressed a brief kiss to his cheek and hurried off before Puck could reply. He sighed and headed over to his car, watching as Mouse almost ran down the street to her house. Puck turned the radio up loud to distract himself from his own thoughts and headed back home.
"Night and day I've been doing the math,
To calculate where we wandered off track,
But I know that this love was never easy.
Something's fading inside of your heart,
So you're crusading to tear us apart.
It's clear now, I know you're gonna leave me,
So disappear now, I won't get in your way.
"Ohhh, let me down easy,
Let me down easy,
Ohhh, before you go.
"How do I begin to convince you to love me?
When you're a star in the sky up above me,
And I'm too far down below?
"Ohhh, let me down easy,
Let me down easy,
Ohhh, before you go.
"Because I know you'd rather run than stay and try,
Because I know it's that much easier to say goodbye.
Yes, I know, so if you've made your mind,
Take what you want and get out of my life,
But can you do this one last thing,
And leave me with my pride?"
Puck stopped singing abruptly, shutting the radio off and almost smashing the buttons on the console with the amount of force he used.
...
"Now, I still don't know whether I should wear a navy blue suit and a red vest with a white shirt, or a red shirt and white vest? I know they're Dalton's colours, but they're also Blaine's colours, and I want to show my support," Kurt said, making his way through the racks of clothes to find something appropriate.
"What's all of this for anyway?" Mouse asked, trying to distract herself from thinking of Puck. Again.
Kurt stopped, turned, and frowned at her. "I've only said it three times, Mouse. Haven't you been listening to me?"
"Sorry; kind of distracted. What's it for?" she asked, smiling brightly and hoping he wouldn't ask why exactly she was distracted.
"My father and Carole have invited Blaine over for dinner this weekend. Finn's going to football practice, or something, so it's a big to-do with Blaine formally meeting my dad and Carole," Kurt said. "Now, this vest and shirt, or this shirt and vest?" he asked, holding up the two combinations.
"Uhh. The white vest and red shirt. Wait, what are you having for dinner? You don't want to freak out about sauce on your vest," Mouse said with a slight frown.
"I don't know, actually. It doesn't matter, anyway. There are rules in the Hummel-Hudson residence regarding my clothing, and the main one is: no less than three napkins when saucy food is nearby."
Mouse laughed, hugging him briefly. "In that case, definitely the white vest and red shirt. But I'll have you know I'm a lost cause when it comes to fashion, so you might want to do the complete opposite of whatever I say."
"Now, now, I already knew that. Why else do you think I invited you to come clothes shopping with me?" Kurt asked, smirking at her.
"Oh, the burn. I'll need to go to the hospital for that... Actually, why the hell did you invite me? You know I hate clothes shopping."
"Yet you still willingly agreed to come clothes shopping with me, and that's how I know something must be really wrong. Now, is it with Sarah, or is it about Puck? Oh, Puck," he said, seeing her wince slightly at her boyfriend's name. "Come on, let's go get ice cream and you can dish all the goss."
"There's no goss to dish. There'll be no dishing of any kind," Mouse protested.
"Jane, sweetie? You've willingly spent almost two hours clothes shopping with me; there is definitely goss to dish. Come on," Kurt said, hanging the shirt and vest back up, taking her arm and guiding Mouse out of the store firmly.
"Didn't you want to buy those?" Mouse asked weakly.
"Oh, sweetie, I've already had my outfit picked for this dinner for weeks. Mind you, I chose the same colour combination you did, so maybe your cause isn't as lost as you think."
Mouse sighed heavily on seeing Mercedes, Tina, Quinn, Brittany, and Santana waiting at the ice cream parlour.
"What took you two so long?" Tina asked, waving over at them with her spoon.
"I had to see how bad it was for myself; Mouse let me take her clothes shopping for two whole hours," Kurt said.
The others all winced, murmuring to each other that they hadn't realised it was that bad.
"I'm standing right here, you know. I can still hear you," Mouse muttered sourly.
"Uh huh. What ice cream do you want?" Mercedes asked, indicating to the display.
"Something chocolatey with lots of caramel in it."
"Turtle caramel swirl," Quinn and Brittany chorused.
"Uh, what?"
"It's the name of the ice cream; also known as the Comfort Swirl because it's what everyone wants when they're depressed," Santana informed her seriously.
"I just like chocolate and caramel," Mouse protested.
"Yet you always have mint choc-chip ice cream whenever you go out for ice cream with Candy," Quinn pointed out, her arms crossed over her chest.
"How'd you know that?"
"We asked Candy," Brittany said with a shrug and smile.
"Come on, sit down with your Comfort Swirl and dish out the goss," Mercedes said, patting the chair next to her.
"I haven't ordered it... yet," she finished on a sigh as Kurt returned to the table with a large glass of Comfort Swirl ice cream for her.
Tina and Kurt nudged her onto the seat next to Mercedes before sitting next to Mouse, ensuring she couldn't get out. Before she could slide onto the floor and make her daring escape that way, Quinn, Santana and Brittany moved around until they were blocking any spare space. Six pairs of eyes watched and waited expectantly.
"I hate you all," Mouse muttered, taking a big spoonful of her ice cream.
"We know. Now start talking, Franklin," Kurt said.
"And share the ice cream," Tina added, handing her a small spoon.
Mouse gave them all a small spoonful each and then hogged the glass. "You've already had your ice cream; leave the rest of my Comfort Swirl alone," she muttered, pouting at them.
"Stop stalling and talk."
"Ugh, fine. You're all very insistent, you know that?"
They didn't reply as she hoped they would (just a few seconds to redirect the conversation, that's all she needed), and Mouse looked down at the tall glass in her hands.
"I'm thinking about breaking up with Puck."
There was a moment of silence, but they'd all suspected, especially since Puck had been desperate enough to call Kurt for help since Mouse was avoiding him and not answering his phone calls, emails, or texts.
"Are you happy with Puck?" Santana asked.
"Well, yes, I am. But I'm going to college soon, and everyone knows that long-distance relationships never work out."
"Jane, sweetie, when has your relationship ever been based on what other people think?" Kurt asked with a laugh.
"It's not just that; it's the facts."
"I think I'll need a few references and citations for that, Little Miss Librarian," Quinn said, shaking her head.
"That would mean I have to let go of my ice cream. Not happening," Mouse muttered, taking another bite.
"So, what else? You're happy with him, and long-distance isn't an excuse anymore; not with all the ways you can keep in touch with each other," Mercedes said.
"What... What if I'm not the best person to make him happy? I mean, what if it's all just going to end in pain and tears? I'd prefer to end it now before it gets to that."
"Who says it's going to end, let alone in pain and tears?"
"Besides, isn't that what every person in a relationship risks?" Brittany asked. "You never know if you're going to end up happy, and chances are you probably won't be, not all the time at least - life is never one big cloud of unicorns..."
They all waited for Brittany to continue, but it seemed that she'd been distracted by the thought of unicorns.
Santana sighed and continued for her best friend, "What Brittany's trying to say is that no matter what, you have to be willing to take the risk because no one knows what it's going to be like in the end."
"He doesn't hurt you, force you to do things you don't want to do, and from what we've seen, Puck's been nothing than a complete gentleman," Tina added.
"It's actually kind of weird seeing him like that, knowing what an ass he could be before," Quinn muttered, Santana nodding in agreement.
"So I'm changing him? I never wanted to do that, I didn't set out to do that!" Mouse said, almost knocking over her empty glass.
"We know that, Mouse; we all know that. He's not changing because you made him change, Puck's changing because he wants to. Everyone can see he's crazy in love with you, and he\s just trying to be the best man he can be for you," Mercedes said, shrugging.
Mouse was quiet for a long time, watching as she spun her spoon around in the empty glass until it was snatched away by Santana or Quinn.
"Say something, Jane."
She took a deep breath, wishing that she didn't have to voice this fear, wishing even more fervently that she didn't have this fear in the first place. "What if I'm not enough?"
"What?!" they chorused in surprise and shock.
Mouse didn't look up from the table, her cheeks burning as they all stared at her. "What if I'm not enough for him? I mean, we all know what Puck was like with women before... before me, and what if I go away to college and he finds older women attractive again? It's not like I'll be here to see him every day, and his job lands him smack-dab in the middle of cougar central. What if he breaks my heart?"
"Then we break his legs," Santana said simply, her response making the others laugh and breaking the tension.
"Puck hasn't cheated on you since you started dating, has he?" Kurt pointed out. "He's a grown man - mostly - and is able to control himself, I'm sure. He may find older women attractive still, he may not. Either way, he's in a relationship with you, and Puck is actually taking your relationship seriously. Besides, it's not any different to you being attracted to Loki, really."
"I don't see Loki every day, and he's a fictional character," Mouse pointed out.
"Who's Loki?" Brittany asked with a bright smile, looking between them all.
Mouse held out her phone so she could see the background picture.
"Ohh, him. Yeah, I can see that... You do see Loki every day then," Brittany said, grinning at her phone.
"Not in person, not like Puck does with all of the cougars," Mouse replied, her cheeks flushed as she pocketed her phone quickly.
"After this is over, you have to send me that picture," Tina whispered to her, Mercedes nodding seriously in agreement.
"Have you two had sex yet?"
"W-what?" Mouse spluttered at Santana's blunt question, her face turning red.
"I'll take that as a no."
"No, we haven't. What's that got to do with the price of eggs, anyway?"
"Not a damn thing; I was just curious."
Mouse frowned, but Santana just smiled in return.
"Now, we've established that you love him, that he's a decent boyfriend, that you're happy together, and that your relationship isn't conventional by anyone's standards... So I'm still failing to see the problem here. If you try long distance, what's the worst that could happen?" Quinn asked, redirecting the conversation.
"He could hurt me, or he could hurt Candy if things go sour. I mean, everyone's nice at some point in their life - " Santana snorted in amusement here, but Mouse continued on, " - but when they've been hurt, there's no telling what people are capable of doing."
"Jane, sweetie, Puck loves Candy like he was his own brother. No matter what happens between the two of you, he would never hurt Candy. Not in a million years," Kurt said.
"Besides, if he tried, we'd hunt him down," Tina added helpfully.
"In fact, we'd probably be just a few in the long, long, long line of people that would want to hurt him for hurting Candy," Mercedes added, grinning.
"What you need to do are establish some ground rules: making sure to contact each other at least once a day, week, whatever; do things together - watch movies or TV shows at the same time if you can; talk to each other even about the small things; plan visits to each other; that sort of thing."
"How'd you get to learn all of that stuff, Brittany?" Quinn asked, looking at her friend with a newfound respect.
"The Internet," she replied, smiling. "I was looking up pictures of unicorns, but I thought this would be better," Brittany added.
"Yeah, it was. Thanks, Brittany. Thanks to all of you. I guess I'd better go talk to Puck."
"Oh, thank god we called him already. He'll be here in a few minutes, so just stay put," Kurt said, patting her hand gently.
"When did you call him?" Mouse asked in surprise.
"While I was getting your ice cream. I figured an hour would give us all enough time to talk, and if that didn't work, we were going to lock you two in a small space until you came to your senses," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.
"That sort of thing never works outside of books, TV shows, and movies, y'know," Mouse said, trying not to grin at the idea.
"We were willing to give it a try," Tina said, shrugging.
"So, are you all going to do long-distance relationships too?" Mouse asked, looking between them.
"Blaine and I are both going to be in New York together; Rachel will be there too. According to her fathers, she's re-packing her suitcases for the fifth time, which is why she couldn't be here," Kurt said, shaking his head.
"Artie and I are going to the same college," Tina replied.
"Terrence and I are going to try long distance. We're about four hours apart, not including the time difference," Mercedes said with a shrug.
"What about you two?" Mouse asked, looking to Santana and Brittany.
"Jane," Puck called, smiling broadly and a little uncertainly on seeing her surrounded by the girls and Kurt.
Her pulse raced on seeing him, and she managed a smile even though it felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest. Mouse had no idea she could be this nervous! The others started to get up and go, and she almost wanted to call out to them to stay, to remind her of everything they'd just discussed. Now that Puck was here, she was suddenly terrified all over again that he would leave her for someone skinnier, someone prettier, someone older, or richer, or smarter (or dumber, though Mouse didn't like that idea at all); she was terrified that he'd leave her for someone that she could never be.
Would you trade me for all the pretty girls,
All the ones who came before?
Who left you broken hearted,
With your back up against the wall?
Would you cash in all your high times,
For some lasting company?
Or a warm soft breast for you to lay your head on,
For all of eternity?
Well if you're holding out on something,
Then just reach and you'll rise above,
Give me sun, give me dirt, give me water,
Give me sweet everlasting love.
Kurt hugged her briefly and left along with the others. Mouse looked down at the table as Puck slid into the booth across from her.
"Are you all right, Jane?"
She went to reply, tell him that she was fine, but Mouse found herself shaking her head instead.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered hesitantly.
"Not just yet. Just... talk to me?" she asked quietly, glancing up to look at him.
Puck nodded and reached out as if to take her hand. He changed his mind at the last moment, and slid his hand back to his side of the table quickly.
"I was accepted into the trade college, so I'll be learning how to use more of the chemicals and equipment. It's also got a business section included, so that could get me into a business degree if I think I like it," Puck said with a slight grin.
His pulse was racing, and he was almost resigned to the fact that Mouse was going to break up with him. Puck felt his chest tighten at the thought, but he really should have seen this coming. She was so much more than he could ever hope to be, and he should just be glad to have spent this much time with her.
First class and fancy free,
She's high society.
She's got the best of everything,
What could a guy like me,
Ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be,
Why should I even bother?
'Cause she's so high,
High above me.
She's so lovely,
She's so high.
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc,
Or Aphrodite.
Mouse could see the heartbreak that crossed his face, and she reached across the table to take his hand in her own.
"Noah? Would you like to try dating me long-distance?"
He stared at her in surprise, not expecting this at all. "Is this some kind of pity thing?" he asked warily.
"No, it's not. I really want to try this. I mean, I know what people say about long-distance relationships, and I'm probably going to be a hundred times shyer on video chat than I was before you met me, but I really want to give our relationship the chance it deserves; it's a chance we both deserve. I mean, I was terrified earlier, but I have to trust you like I'd trust you to trust me, and know that neither one of us would cheat on each other. And we'd have to plan things, like Brittany said, but I'm okay with that, and I really want you to be in this with me," Mouse said, all too aware that she was rambling but unable to stop the words from pouring forth.
"Of course I want to date you long-distance. You're sure you'll want to date me? I mean, what if I grow a beard while you're away?" Puck asked seriously, a smile tugging at his lips.
Mouse blinked. Okay, that wasn't exactly the kind of response she'd expected. "Nope, a beard's a deal breaker," she said, grinning back at him.
"Good to know. Now, what else did Brittany say?" Puck asked, squeezing her hand gently.
They both sighed in relief; even if they were going against all odds, they would be going against them together.
...
End of the thirty-third chapter.
Thank you for reading; I hope you liked it!