Chapter 18

When Regina stepped inside the house Daniel just gave her a skeptical look and told her to get a shower. She merely nodded and ran upstairs, relieved that she would be alone for a bit.

Normally Daniel would loom over her, and refuse to let her out of sight. He had been loosening the reigns a little, but she was still only allowed to go to the stables by herself. Even that was very rare though.

As she took off her clothes her relief turned to pathetic sadness. She refused to meet her own reflection in the mirror. She then opened the shower curtain and turned on the shower.

She began to cry as soon as she felt the water hit her skin, as if the water would wash the sadness away with the tears. She hated that she had effected Emma the way she had. She sunk down to the floor and hid her head in her hands. The thought of Emma's sadness popped into her head. This right here, the way Regina had made her feel, is the reason Emma kept her distance from everyone in the first place! Immediately after that thought though, her heart just…..shattered. There was no way to fix this. Not that she could think of.

Regina stripped down to her bra and paintes. Emma on the other hand, sat on the bed in her boxers and tank top, with a troubled look in her eyes. Regina kneeled down on the floor in front of her girlfriend, then cupped her face in her hands.

"Emma, what's wrong?" Regina asked carefully, then waited patiently for Emma's answer.

"I...I'm scared…" the blonde stuttered. Tears burning in her eyes, just begging to fall. The sexual tension had been building between the two for a while now, and Emma was scared shitless. Only made worse by the fact the she honestly wanted nothing more than to feel Regina. To feel and taste her all over. There was something at the forefront of her mind though, and she couldn't shake the thought. The feeling, really. She was so afraid that her demons, her own torment from another life, would fuck this up for her. They had always managed to do so in the past.

Regina pressed a tentative kiss against Emma's lips then smiled at her. Hoping to alleviate some of this fear.

"Don't be scared baby. Just do what feels natural. Okay?" Emma nodded soundlessly as Regina climbed onto her girlfriend's lap.

Emma's heart was beating like crazy. Regina kissed her neck and Emma heard a moan escape her own lips. Regina continued to kiss down to her chest as the tank top was thrown to the floor. Regina let her hands cup Emma's breasts. The blonde felt how her body was set ablaze by the firm but gentle touch. Then when Regina looked up and met her eyes she gave the blonde a full smile. Emma returned it weakly.

"Are you okay?" Regina asked carefully. Emma didn't know how to respond. She really didn't know the answer to that question. She had never done anything like this before. She had never voluntarily let anybody touch her like this, or get so close. Physically, or otherwise. Plus, even though Regina had already seen her scars, she was nervous. She shrugged and signaled for the brunette to let her up as she stood, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I don't know.." Emma whispered. After a few seconds of charged silence she continued "I have never done this...willingly."

She could feel the reassurance and love coming off of Regina in waves, but Emma was still scared shitless. Since the rape when she was 12, she had not even thought about having sex. Obviously, in some way she wanted to have sex with Regina. She loved her, but her mind was playing tricks on her. The blonde groaned and sat down on the bed next to her girlfriend, then laid her head on her shoulder. She focused on taking in, then releasing a deep breath. Regina laid her arm around the blonde, and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Emma, I'm sorry. I got carried away. I shouldn't have pushed." Regina sighed. Regina felt terrible. She had pushed Emma too far. She was actually surprised that Emma hadn't flinched away from their current embrace.

They sat in silence for a bit, listening to each other's breathing and hearts beating. Emma looked up and met Regina's dark eyes, then offered a small smile.

"I love you." she said honestly. Hoping that Regina could feel the truth in her statement

"I love you too, Emma Swan." Regina replied and kissed her lips as gently as she could.

"I'm sorry that I'm acting weird. You know, I really want to do this, but I don't think I'm quite there." Emma shrugged. "Yet." she added quickly.

"Don't feel sorry Emma. I'm proud of you. That you said it, and did not immediately run away." Regina stated simply with a proud grin. Emma saw the honesty all over her face, but the words hit her hard. It was true. This was the first time ever, that Emma hadn't run away when her mind had started to race. She had stayed put. That's something new, huh? Emma Thought to herself.

"Yeah I'm really awesome, ain't I?" the blonde grinned cockily. Regina knew that was sarcasm, but was relieved to feel some of the tension release. She smiled, then gave Emma a look and rolled her eyes.

"Yes you are dear, yes you are." the two shared an open smile

Emma was always so careful and sweet. Gentle and caring. Even though Emma had lived a terrible life, she cared about the important people in her life now, and especially about Regina.

Daniel on the other hand, had lived a life full of privilege. Getting everything he had ever wanted. He was l used to taking what he wanted. Just as he and done with the stable boy position. Just as he had done with Cora, convincing her that Regina needed guidance and a caretaker while she was away. Just as he had done with Regina. He didn't view her as a person anymore. Maybe he never did. She was just a possession to him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Belle didn't know how long she had walked or how long she had cried, but when she dried her eyes and looked around, she frowned. Was she... No, she couldn't be, or could she? The brunette turned left and realized she had actually walked as far as to her childhood home.

It wasn't at all close to the city, so she had walked quite a long way. Belle took a deep breath and almost wanted to cry as she saw her old house abandoned.

She knew her parents had sold it, but apparently it had been left to rot away. The sight broke her heart. She had loved this house, and still did. Some windows were broken and the door was kicked in. She hesitated at first about what she should do, but ultimately decided to follow her gut. Belle took a deep breath and decided to walk inside.

It was a really weird feeling walking into the house. She hadn't been here for years. She wondered how the second floor looked, where she had had her dream room and very own little library. The floor creaked as she walked upstairs, as they always had. Her parents had been talking about replacing them before the place and their land was sold.

She was happy to see that the old bookshelves were still there, and even the old wallpaper she had chosen when she was around 10 years old was still there. She sat down on the old armchair, that was placed next to her bookshelves, and just smiled.

"Wow" she said to herself. An idea started forming in Belle's head.

What if she could buy back this house and restore it? It had many rooms downstairs and a big basement. They had a big barn and even room for fields if they wanted animals.

She and Ruby could have their bedroom upstairs and their children could have rooms either downstairs or in the basement.

Whoa!

Belle stopped herself for a second. Kids? Did Ruby want kids? They had only talked about it briefly once, but they were only 16. They had plenty of time to discuss that! But still! The brunette groaned and dragged her fingers through her hair. She knew Ruby was the one, and Belle saw a future with her. To live here again, even if they didn't have kids, would be a dream come true! Truly!

R - Where are you baby? I just came home and you weren't here. Is everything okay? Xo xo

Belle smiled at her phone. Ruby must have a sixth sense or something. She always texted Belle when the brunette was down, and if they were hanging out, Ruby hugged her tight even before she had said she was down. If she only knew how much I love her.

B - I'm was just out walking and well, I kinda ended up in my old house.

R - Wow. That's a long way to walk. Do you want some company? I got a feeling you're sad…

Belle looked around confused. Is she following me? Does she have surveillance cameras...everywhere? She looked around and chuckled. If she did she wouldn't have any in the woods, or in her childhood home.

B - I don't know how you always know that baby. But yeah I want you here.

R - Sit tight. I'll just ask Granny if I can borrow her car. Love you.

Granny had hired two new waitresses on, just to lift some of the weight off of Ruby's shoulders, since Emma wasn't working at the moment. The diner was small enough that she didn't feel like she needed more. Not that she could really afford it even if she wanted.

One of the girls, Teresa, was a natural. She had worked in a big restaurant in new York before she had decided to move to a smaller town to get away from the stress. Granny had hired her within seconds, not just because she liked her, but also because she knew she could fill in as manager if Granny wanted some time off.

The other waitress though, Elsa, wasn't even allowed near the stove. She was good with the people and serving the food, but when Granny had tested her to see if she could cook, she had nearly burned the place down. So she was literally banned from the kitchen. Elsa had just laughed and agreed she was better out on the floor.

Granny was standing by the counter and had just served some men coffee when Ruby laid her hand on her shoulder, looking out into the diner.

"Well look at you, hiring more people huh? Should I be worried about getting fired now?" Ruby grinned and her grandmother just laughed.

"I thought it would be good for us to not have so much on our plates all the time, so to speak." Granny said and turned around to face her granddaughter.

"Yeah. You're probably right….but I miss having Emma around." Ruby shrugged and scraped with her foot on the wooden floor.

"Me too Ruby, but we have to give her some space. At least she's eating a bit better now Hm?" Granny said with a gentle smile and Ruby just nodded her agreement.

"I guess, but ehm I gotta ask you something?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Ehm, can I borrow your bug? Belle needs to be picked up. She took a walk and wandered off pretty far."

"Is she okay?" Granny frowned. It wasn't like Belle to just wander off somewhere. At the same time though, nothing was what I had been before. The whole family was literally falling apart. Perhaps Cora was right after all.

"Well kinda. I don't know. She went for a walk in the forest, and apparently walked all the way to her old house." Granny almost gasped because that was a long way to walk. She reached down into her pocket and gave Ruby the car keys.

"Drive safe and give Belle a hug from me. Okay?"

"Yeah, of course. I promise! Thanks!" Ruby smiled and left the diner.

Regina had taken a long shower and was now standing in in front of the big mirror. She had tried to avoid it, but here she she stood. She looked at her body with disgust in her eyes. She wondered if this was how Emma felt about her scars, and the brunette signed. She prayed to God that none of these bruises would leave permanent scars.

Regina shook her head and walked back into the shower, turning the heat up to almost max this time. She wished she could wash away Daniel's touch from her body, wash away the anxiety and self hate. She knew she couldn't. Even if the water was so hot that she burned her skin off. It would always be there. She broke down in tears and wondered how many times she had actually cried in the shower these past couple of days. She wasn't sure, but she knew it was a lot.

Ruby killed the engine of the bug and closed the door behind her. She hadn't been to this house since she was a kid. Back then this house had been so beautiful! Now, it was missing it's grace, but Ruby still saw the beauty inside. It could be fixed up. It just needed a family, who cared properly for it, to move in. She shook her head with a chuckle and wondered when the hell she had started to be so deep with her thoughts. Ruby walked inside and immediately went upstairs where she found Belle.

"Wow, it's a bit creepy here, I have to say." Ruby said carefully and kneeled down in front of her girlfriend. "I really love this house though. I always have"

"Let's buy it?" Belle blurted quickly and Ruby frowned at the suddenness.

"Huh, and here I thought I was the crazy one?" Ruby grinned. Belle smiled wide then rushed to speak her mind.

"Just hear me out, okay? When I'm 18 I'm gonna get my inheritance, and we can actually move here! We can fix it up, and Granny could even live here with us!" Belle rambled on and Ruby was too busy falling deeper in love with the brunette to stop her. "She can help us raise our kids, and we can take care of her diner when she's older, and.." Ruby finally cut her off with a kiss. She knew Belle would talk too much and be embarrassed by what she might say.

"I love you Belle, you know that right? I really love hearing you talk about our future. Let's talk to Granny when we get home okay? I know she has some money in the bank, and maybe we can borrow it and like, buy the house now? Then when you get your inheritance you can pay her back?" Ruby suggested and Belle beamed at the possibility.

"Ok" Belle said still holding her beaming smile

"So kids, huh?" Ruby asked and Belle immediately blushed. Ruby let out a big laugh and kissed the other woman squarely on the lips.

As the weeks passed, Emma basically saw her and Regina's relationship as over. Her texts had gone unanswered and she hadn't seen Regina on her morning runs one single time. The sheriff still wouldn't tell her any details of Regina's case, or if there even was one. Emma was so tired. Tired of being a victim, so now she stood in front of her mirror and smiled at her reflection. Swan, you're a warrior. You're doing fine. She told herself as she headed downstairs for dinner.

"Swan!" Ruby smiled at her sister.

"Hi Rubes. Nice to see you're over for dinner, or has Belle thrown your ass out?" Emma teased and Ruby struck her shoulder.

"Really funny Swan, but no. She had some assignment for school and she said I was a distraction." Ruby shrugged. "Besides that, Granny's making her lasagna. Nobody can say no to that huh?"

"You bet that's right!" Emma replied and walked into the kitchen.

"Emma, my dear." Granny greeted happily. She was so happy to see Emma slowly become herself again, a little more as each day passed. Deep down she knew Emma was still hurting, and was fragile. Granny didn't push or ask anything, because she feared Emma would pull back again.

"You need any help Granny?" Emma asked and made the old woman snap back to reality.

"Oh, no thank you dear, give Ruby company in front of the TV instead. I'll handle this." Granny smiled.

Regina was sitting on the toilet with a pregnancy test in her hand. She had asked Rosita to buy one since Regina still wasn't allowed to leave the property, and she was terrified of asking Daniel.

She had taken the test but still couldn't bare to look. Daniel had raped her constantly for weeks now, so when she opened her eyes Regina wasn't surprised the test was positive. "Damn it!" she cursed. She was too upset to even cry about it. What was even the point? She didn't have anybody anymore. She didn't even have Emma anymore, right? Off course she didn't. Regina hadn't even answered any off her texts but she kept rereading the last one.

E - Im done. I'm sorry Regina. I love you but I don't know what else I can do. I can't get near the house because Daniel is watching the yard like a fucking guard dog. I haven't seen you on my morning runs and I fucking miss you Regina. I really do. I miss your eyes. Your smile. Your laughter and I miss you. I really do. But do you miss me? Do you even remember me? It doesn't feel like it. I mean, how hard is it to just text me back, and just say you're okay? I love you Regina. I'm always gonna love you but now I have to move on. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I have to move on. If you need me, you know where to find me.

Regina groaned and put away her phone. She knew she was stupid for ignoring Emma, but she told herself it was for the best. Emma was better off without her, and all the chaos she was living in. Cora could surely make Emma's life even worse somehow. On top of that, how could Regina tell her that she was pregnant? The brunette fiddled with her phone, and she who never swore, suddenly heard herself curse out loud for the second time that day "Fuck it!" as she wrote Emma a text.

R - I'm not okay.