(Alright, in this time of writing is Valentine's Day. I remember it as the day Al Capone killed people, what does this say about me? I'm not sure myself. That is all. On with the story!)
Clothes Make The Man and The Psychopath
Axel's POV
I'm glad Ruby was able to get Roy out of bed, and I'm glad that he told me that I was right. So as of this moment, I am doing one thing that I most certainly hate above all else.
"C'mon, let's hurry up and get something for you to look good for Yang eh?" Coco asks with the sort of grin you'd find on a fox, or Ahri. I hate shopping. I sigh and trudge along behind the lady in shades, we've been in here for a full hour and we haven't even found anything that she thinks would be fine.
'It'll be fun!' she said, 'I'm only gonna help with more combat oriented clothes.' she said, I WAS FINE WITH THE FIRST SET OF CLOTHES GODDAMN IT! We've just got enough clothes for us to dress a town, WHY WOULD I NEED TO TRY ON ALL OF THEM?!
I haven't even gotten to see anyone else yet, feels like I'm getting dragged around in order to simply be tortured. I blame you past life.
I like this girl
Oh, would you kindly go drown?
I'm just poking fun! God, you're grumpy
You try doing this...oh wait! You'd burn yours to ash
"Hey, the quicker we get this done. The quicker we can leave, 'kay?"
"How do your teammates put up with you?" I mumble
"Ohhh, they manage." She says with a bit of a chuckle, and here we stop. Looking around it's...suits.
"Is this about the dance?" I ask flatly
"Yup. And as a favor for helping out Vel, I'm gonna get you a suit." She says already checking through each and everyone of them.
"Is it because every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man?" I ask in the same flat tone, "Have a secret crush on professor Scale? Hot for teacher eh?" I add with a wry grin, in response I get a handbag to the face.
"Oh shut up, it's just clothes."
"Why the hell are we getting me a sui...ohhhhhh, you're in charge of the dance. Aren't you?"
She gives a playful smile and nods, picking out some clothing. Warm black suit jacket and slacks, and an orange tie with the same colored dress shirt. "Gotta have you dressed to impress Yang, am I right?" She asks
I frown a bit and stand up, taking the clothes and heading for a dressing room. "Well, if you need me I'll be tryin' to pick out something out of this pile for ya." Coco says with her voice slightly muffled by the door blocking some of the noise.
Let's just get this over with.
I hurry up and take off everything but my underwear and socks. Starting with the pants I just do it the good 'ol fashioned one leg at a time deal, right before slipping on the dress shirt and then the tie before the suit jacket comes on. Ok, that's done. I step outside and stretch out my arms
"Well? Is this fine? Or do we need to go through a thousand more suits?" I ask in a flat tone, she laughs and shakes her head. "Nope, you're looking good. Now onto the next part." She says tossing me the next set of clothes: a dusty orange coat, a pair of dark-colored jeans and dark brown boots. I give a small smile, "Okay, so maybe you're good at this fashion thing." I admit
She snorts, "Told you so, now. Try this on, I'll go get the rest and have Vel come on back and see you. Alright?"
"IIIIIIII...guess so, see you then Coco." I say with a shrug, heading back into the dressing room. Quickly taking off the suit and going back to just socks, folding it up and laying it down. Putting on the jeans, then shirt, back to the coat and finally boots. I gotta admit, I think it looks pretty alright on me.
I take the suit and my shoes and step out. There I see someone.
A guy dressed in a jet black and violet coat, steel grey pants, and mud brown shoes. Blonde and tied into a ponytail, he's humming along as he's looking through clothes, right before I see a catch of his eye. Blood red.
He turns around to give a more proper appearance of himself, soft and young looking features. Giving a smile.
"Oh, hello there." He says, his voice sounds a mix between velvet and poisoned honey. It's a bit nice to hear, ok maybe it's really nice to hear.
"Uh...hey there. Looking for something?" I ask curiously
"Juuuuust gonna get a present for a friend, he's coming to town soon and I figured he needs something new to wear." He says with a shrug
"Really?"
"Yep. I was thinking something...red. Oh! Where's my manners?" He sticks out his hand, "Call me Ash."
I take his hand and give a shake, there's...something about his eyes that don't sit well with me. "Axel. Axel Lind."
"Nice to meet you friend, hope you don't mind if I ask what you think I should get him. Not really good at this."
"Get him some sweatpants and sneakers, maybe a hat. I'm pretty sure your friend can get himself a shirt, sorry if I can't help there...Ash? Is it?"
"Oh pffft, you're all good man." He says casually, "By the way. I've been looking for a book, might've seen it? Hm?"
"Yeah. I know where, the library." I reply utterly deadpan, his expression flickers for a moment to some anger. But it quickly goes back to a more friendly appearance.
"Yeah. Right then. You probably wouldn't have known, sorry." He apologizes with a humble bow.
"It's fine. So what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a musician for a living, in a band in fact."
"Really? What do you play?"
"The flute. With the others playing drums, trumpet, and clarinet."
"Ahhhh, classical music. I like it."
"Yes...well, I best get going now. Before I end up running late."
"Oh, get your friend a hat. Wide brim one."
"Thank you kindly, have a good one." He says with a wave before walking away, there's something about him that seems off to me. The eyes.
"Hey Axel!" A familiar voice calls out, turning around there stands Velvet with bright eyes and smile. I smile back, "Hey Velvet. Time to go isn't it?"
"Yep, let's-" there's a buzz that cuts her off. She pulls it out, checking it and her expression turns sad. I tilt my head out of curiosity, "Something wrong?"
She sighs and puts it away, "Team and I gotta go on a mission ASAP...gonna end up missing the dance." She laments sadly
"Hey, why don't you have RWBY do it? Maybe me and my team could help out too." I suggest smiling
"That uh...that sounds pretty nice. Thanks for the offer." She says a bit more happily, smiling ever so slightly. "Not a problem." I reply
"Ready to get going?"
"Yeah. Let's."
So she and I walk for a few minutes back to the front, and there be Silas, Uriah and Roy all dressed up. And not to bad either.
Silas wearing a greyish silver colored bomber jacket and sweats along with some dress shoes still having the tie on, Uriah having a forest green poncho over his sleeveless hoodie and a pair of vambraces on of all things, and Roy keeping the same clothes only just adding goggles.
"Well don't you all look fine and dandy." I say crossing my arms with a smile
"Time for us to go don't you think?"
"Yep, it's time Si."
Ash's POV, Hours Later
I guess that having some polite conversation with the enemy to get a location out of where in the shit a book of great power is didn't work. But still, taking a seat in this little arena we've set up is a perfect homecoming for the fine psychopathic murderer we're getting
Sorry Nyarly, gonna have to wait.
There's the sounds of heels clicking and two other sets of feet. Looks like my darling sister, Patri and Streetrat have arrived.
And in the sound of a boom. Here comes the mute, Roman and the new ginger. I need a third so I can have a collection!
"Is this the one you've sent Roman to bring along?" My sister asks with her usual 'I'm better than you worm' tone of voice, I glare at her and roll my eyes.
"Wooooooow, someone give her a PhD! A true genius we have here! Deciding flea-bitten mongrels, disgusting street urchins, and pansy patriciders are the greatest henchpeople that she could wrap around her finger!"
She gives a rather piercing glare and frowns, "So that's a yes then?"
"YEAH! THAT'S IT! NOW I'M GONNA GO NOW!" Roman shouts, taking a quick peak he rushes off with the mute leaving one Xipe there. Wearing an un-fastened straight jacket.
"What?! I was just offering you guys pork! Come on!" He complains, pulling out some meat. "Anyone want any?" He asks
"I'm hungry enough." Patri says utterly casual, and with a leap Xipe is standing right in front of him. Placing the meat into his hand
"Eat up." He whispers, and Patri starts eating before looking back to me "So! On the first hand, thanks for getting me out."
"Yep. We need your killing skill, knowledge on getting more of the other Outer Gods and Great Old Ones to come along, also for me to be more of a dick to Patri." I list out
"Hwhat do yhou mean by that?" The grey-haired moron says with his mouth full
"Errr...Merc I-"
"Oh, that's just a special recipe I got done with there friend." Xipe says happily
"What's it from?"
"Liver."
"...Like, chicken liver?" Patri asks nervously, his brow scrunched up, Streetrat's eyes darting around and my sister clutching the bridge of her nose. And then, something beautiful happens: Patri gives the most amazing 'Oh shit!' face I've ever seen him do. Right before heading to a trashcan and vomiting.
With me just howling with laughter.
"Oh my God! You're so stupid!" I wheeze out, but quickly clear my throat afterwards. Down to business, "So Xipe. We have your weapon ready, and some new clothes to put on. We'll send out some people for you to work your magic on."
He gives a toothy smile and nods, "Of course." He says before growling in pain and clutching his head. Heading off behind the trio with me now.
A Moment Later
By the time he comes back he has the same undone straight jacket on, along with the stuff that the kid Axel recommended. Gotta admit, little shit made an alright choice about the hat.
And in either one of his hands are blood red macuahuitl with a chainsaw pully, whatever at the point where the weapon meets the handle. Along the edges are what looks like depleted Dust crystals, they'll either be sharp enough to cut like a hot knife through butter or be more fragile than glass.
"Perfect. Glad I have my little babies back." He says rubbing his cheek against the blade.
"He better be worth the time." My sister grumbles
"Xipe! Go on down to the arena, we'll start out with something simple enough for you." I say gesturing to the arena. He bends down and makes a leap right back into the center of the arena.
"Hey old timer?"
"What? Want me to send out thr first wave for our friend here?"
"New batch of poor scientist you got envious over and took them to be made into lobotomized but stupidly strong giants?"
"Not my fault they thought they could surpass my work. It's hubris. Anyways, here you go."
There's a loud buzz and a door opens to show something pretty fun from dear old Donn Yell. A centaur like thing made from sewn together people, labcoats and all on it, making squishing sounds as it stumbles out just like a deer when first born learning how to stand and walk.
A triple armed torso with no legs stuck ontop of a long line of others, no lower jaw and eyelids peeled back and held by stitches to expose dry and bloodshot eyes, tear streaks bellow. It's legs being in sets, two bodies stuck in a hugging embrace for each one of the legs. And for some comedic effect the tail of it is a leg.
What a great guy, thanks Donn
"Oooooooo! I like this already!" Xipe shouts out, leaping up onto it and hacking away at the beast. Over and over and over, blood spurting and splattering out each time in greater capacity every strike. Some of it even coming as far to hit my face, and I lick the warm liquid across my face.
Tasty.
As soon as he's done hacking away, Xipe jumps down and slices off the thing's legs. The beast moaning in misery and pain, with either macuahuitl crossed between it's head. Right before decapitation.
"WOOOOOO! WHERE IS SOME MORE FUCKIN' FUN?! I HAVEN'T HAD MY FILL YET!" He shouts out thumping his chest
"I'll fight!" Patri shouts, looks like his balls grew some. Right as he rushes down to the center of the arena, taking a fighting stance.
"Ohhhhh?" Xipe smiles and giggles, "Not sure about you. Dumb enough to get tricked by-" Patri ends up cutting him off by kicking the top half off his head off. And Xipe collapsing limp to the ground, his fingers twitching as his hands open
"Hmph, so much for that." My sister scoffs, I only smile. With Patri turning around and holding his arms out with a smug grin. And Xipe regrowing the top half of his head, bubbles of flesh growing and disappearing as flesh regenerates and he rises up behind the smug grey-haired prick.
"Is that all that you got man? You need to get bet-" and just as Patri was getting ready to talk shit, Xipe spins him around and grabs him by the throat. Lifting him and choking him. With Streetrat and my sister looking surprised, "Never. Doubt me." I whisper
"What?!" Patri chokes out, struggling to get out of his grip
"Quite a thing ain't it?" The red-haired psychopath says, "Sure as shit beats the hell out of dying!" He shouts tossing Patri aside like a rag-doll, picking up the two macuahuitl and cracking his neck as his head fully heals up. With the top part of his head Patri kicked off going through the same bubbling and regenerating process. Already at the point where it's growing the lower half of the body.
"Is this his Semblance?" My sister questions aloud
"Nope. As much as I despise Faunus, there are those that I tolerate. Like your master's pet fanatic, or the bull who just loves my company. And then there's the ones that entertain me, like Xipe Totec here...did you know that starfish can regenerate with any part of them cut off? And even that part can form a full body from itself."
The starfish Faunus laughs, along with the new one. With the first laying the two macuahuitl atop one another, a chink sound cutting into the air and the blades extending outwards for what my guess is to three feet. Then pulling the cord, the revving sound of a chainsaw filling up the air. With the dear little killer giving a wide and murderous smile.
"Groovy!"
"Uhh, no. It is not. It is not that word you said at all." Patri says panicked, with the second of the Xipes having full formed a body with thorns across it's chest. Giggling before bull-rushing to Patri and wrapping around him, the pink glow of Aura coming out of him like cracks. A sound akin to a swarm of cicadas hissing cutting through the air like a knife, before the second of the Xipes explodes like a bomb in a dome of pink light.
The smoke clearing out to show the second Xipe is gone, and Patri flat on the ground. Ever so slightly writhing around in pain, guess that took out his Aura shielding. The remaining Xipe leaps right ontop of Patri and jamming the running blades on either side of his head, the blades tearing up the floor to toss up concrete and throwing up sparks.
The blades slowly inching closer and closer to Patri's neck.
"That's enough!" I yell out loud enough for Xipe to snap his head toward my direction, pulling out the chainscissors, stopping the blades from running and they revert back to two macuahutils and he heads up the stairs. With Streetrat rushing down to pick get Patri and carry him up.
Can't they just fuck and get it over with already? Streetrat isn't going to get anything from my sister.
"I'll admit. He may prove useful." My sister mutters quietly, I grin and look at her. "Awwwww, what's wrong Cinder? Is it because your little patricider got his ass handed to him on a silver plater by the new guy?" I ask earning a growl from her.
"Hey old timer, mind having your little mass of hurting hunger clean up your corpsetaur? Amd send along the other three we have."
"Don't call it a corpsetaur. But one minute."
A door for the arena opens up, and out comes the Swarm laughing sadly. Before throwing up it's name sake which floods over and devours the entire corpsetaur, bone and all in seconds. Before the black and skittering mass returns back to it's main body which whimpers before the door closes shut.
"Did you ask for us?" A voice asks, looking around it seems the other three arrived.
"What do you need? Got something to share with us or what?"
"Boy, leave this to the adults unless you wish for something." Huitzilo hisses, before smiling. "I wouldn't want to bring harm to a young, boyish and pretty face such as yours." He coos
The kid Quetzal looks ever so slightly nervous, but the lady stands right between the two. Tezca? Yeah that's it.
"You better keep away from my brother you creep." She warns with a scowl plastered across her face, Huitzilo merely smiles. "Or what dear lady?"
She chuckles before pointing a marksman rifle right at his head, "Or you're gonna be dealing with a problem the size of a golfball traveling through your skull if you don't stop."
"You both have equal sized dicks but are tiny compared mine can I tell you assholes what I want?" I ask a bit annoyed.
"By all means. What is it?" Huitzilo asks
I smile, with the doors to the arena opening for Beowolves to come out growling. I have to give my thanks to my sister's master for giving Grimm, for the arena and for Donn to work on.
"Show my dear sister how skilled you are." I suggest
"Very well then." Huitzilo sighs, pulling out either handgun and stepping own down to the arena. Beowolves growling and circling around him, before one leaps and get's turned into swiss cheese for it's trouble.
With Beowolves charging, the blue-haired man keeps calm and simply continues shooting over and over and over again. Blowing the head off of one of the Beowolves, shooting all the limbs off another, tearing them apart in a hail storm of bullets that shred the Grimm up.
All of them returning back to black smoke. With Huitzilo breathing in the smoke from the barrels of his guns, sighing out the smoke.
"Well that was quick." I mutter, disappointingly quick. Let's see if the brother and sister can entertain any better. I clap as Huitzilo comes up and out come two Ursi, "Go on now. Don't have all day." I tell the siblings, just before they rush down and begin fighting.
For Tezca she's unloading a clip into one of the Ursi while her brother is tossing more and more chakrams. Two little devices on his belt producing more of them every time a chakram hits causing it to shatter into pieces. The Ursi going further and further back due to the hits staggering them, before at least the one for the black-haired lady with a robotic arm and leg ends up knocking her's to the ground.
The markman's rifle transforming into a sword, with a roar she plunges it through the chest. Stab. Twist. The Ursa goes to smoke.
And for the brother he pounces up ontop of the Ursa and shoves it's head through one of the chakrams. Right before twisting it's head right off, sending it's head spinning through the air and onto the floor.
Excellent.
The two of them laugh and...hug one another, odd. And so the two climb up the stairs and give a theatrical little bow.
"Fine job you two, wouldn't you agree Cinder?"
She puts on a fakes smile, "Yes. An excellent performance." She says through gritted teeth. Looks like she's a bit angry, cute.
"Fucking beautiful!" Xipe shouts, before having his head blown of by Huitzilo. However Xipe regenerates his head back up and growls, "THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!"
"Please. Don't swear. It's uncouth." He says politely
"Well, now that that's settled. Time for me to tell your roles. Quetzal and Tezca: you both need to be my eyes and ears, patrol the streets of Vale and let me know about anything new that springs up."
"You got it. Don't be hitting on cute boys younger than you sis."
"Oh bite me you little brat. But in all seriousness, we'll do it Mr. Fall."
"Good!" I say happily standing straight up, "Huitzilo: be sure to assist dear Roman Torchwick, needs all the help he can get."
"I shall do my best."
"Good. And Xipe?"
"Yeah?"
"We'll need you here...there's something special that you're needed for." I smile
Now. To entertain myself, Axel Lind...I think I'll take some time out of my calendar for you. We'll joke, tell secrets.
And of course I'll torture you.
(There we have it ladies and gents. Next time is investigation, or as one Matt from a group of Best Friends would say: invastigasion)